Tag: NBA

Categories
Minnesota Timberwolves

Odds and Ends: The luckiest SOB in all of sports

The guys over at Rumors and Rants are still stewing over the fact that a virtual-nobody in the NBA like
Marko Jaric can be engaged to megamodel Adrianna Lima. Hey, aren’t we all? But Jaric isn’t the only lucky bastard in the world of sports. So, here’s their list of “The Luckiest Guys In Sports History.”

Marko Jaric – Engaged to Adrianna Lima

Jim Sorgi – Peyton Manning’s Backup

Sam Cassell – 2008 Celtics

Eric Gagne – 2007 Boston Red Sox

Scott Podsednik – Married to Lisa Dergan

Christian Laettner – The Dream Team

Tony Romo – The Tail He Pulls

Jud Buechler – Three Titles With The Bulls

Jeremy Shockey – Giants Super Bowl Win

And speaking of lucky, there’s no way we can forget about this lucky dog.

In other news…

[Undrafted Free Agent]: Javon Kearse does his best Cedric Benson impersonation

[SI.com]: Pele gets no respect from the younger generation

[Pyle of List]: Sports movie coaches nominated for the HOF

[CNN.com]: 8-year-old knows more about baseball than most beat reporters

[Tirico Suave]: George Carlin, you will be missed greatly

[Mondesishouse.com]: A day of indulgence

[COEDMagazine.com]: The Babes of Wimbledon 2008

[CollegeOTR.com]: Celebrities’ kid’s colleges revealed

[JoshQPublic.com]: Worst. Strip club. Ever.

[Can’t Stop The Bleeding]: Worst. Rap battle. Ever.

And finally, here’s a guy dropping a subtle hint that he really, really wants a pool.

Categories
Miami Heat

With the first and second picks in the 2008 Draft, the Miami Heat select…?

You might think the NBA season is over now that the Boston Celtics have earned the franchise’s 17th championship, but there is no time to rest. In case you’ve forgotten, the Draft is right around the corner, Thursday to be exact, meaning there’s a whole lotta wheelin’ and dealin’ going on. Actually, there has been no real wheelin’ or dealin’ just yet, but the rumors are defiantly flying around. The most interesting bit of speculation we’ve come across originates out of Miami where the Heat are desperate to turn around a horrible 2007-08 campaign.

Rumors have begun swirling that the Heat would consider trading Chicago native Dwyane Wade to the Bulls for the first pick in the draft, plus Tyrus Thomas and Larry Hughes. Miami has the second selection, so such a trade could land the Heat the two top prospects in Memphis guard Derrick Rose and Kansas State forward Michael Beasley. Look for the Timberwolves to select UCLA forward Kevin Love with the third pick.

They’d be an infant team in a grown man’s league if the trade went down, but nothing could possibly frustrate Pat Riley more than what he went through last season. We say, “Git-R-Done!”

Links:

[Draft Nation]: Sunday’s NBA Draft Rumors
[Boston.com]: A Kidd shall lead them

Categories
Boston Celtics

It’s the Late Show with Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen

When a professional football player reaches the pinnacle of their sport, they usually go to Disney World or Disneyland. But when NBA ballers finally get their giant hands on the Larry O’Brien trophy they have their own special place they like to visit. Uncle Dave’s house.

The Celts’ victory lap started last night as Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen yukked it up with David Letterman. The dynamic duo told Dave that appearing on “The Late Show” is one of the sweeter spoils of winning an NBA title.

Letterman greeted his guests by saying, “Congratulations to both you guys and thank you very much for being here. I know, I mean, it’s crazy that you were in the big celebration and it’s still continuing now, isn’t it? And you’re probably saying to yourselves right now, ‘Why are we here?'”

Allen and Garnett said it was an honor to be on the show. “This’ll solidify when you’ve won something, you’ve got to do Letterman,” said Garnett.

Added Allen: “I think in the 80s when you won a championship, you said, ‘We’re going to Disneyland… In the year 2000, we say, ‘We’re going to David Letterman.”

See, we told ya so.

Oh, and Ray, it’s currently the year 2008.

Links:

[Boston.com]: `Late Show’ with the Celtics
[Celtics Blog]: Allen, KG chat with Letterman

Categories
General Sports

Most obnoxious sports traditions

Why do we love sports? Oh, let us count the ways. The list starts with the simple addiction to competition and ends with all the sexy girlfriends and wives of the athletes. There’s a whole lot in between, but we forgot what it was because we started thinking about how lucky Reggie Bush is. Anyways, for as much as we love the world of sports, there are plenty of things out there that just really annoy the hell out of us and, apparently, there’s a lot that annoys the guys over at The Love of Sports as well. Here’s their list of the Most Obnoxious Sports Traditions.

8. John Sterling: “Yankees Win!”

7. Detroit Red Wings’ Octopi

6. “CHARGE!”

5. Tomahawk Chop

4. Sleeveless Shirts in NASCAR

3. Gooooaaaaaallllll!

2. Hats & Mint Juleps at the Kentucky Derby

1. The Wave

Wait a minute, let’s not forget about John Mason’s “Deeeeetroit basketball! or the creepy little kids who copy him.

Links:

[The Love of Sports]: Most Obnoxious Sports Traditions

Categories
Boston Celtics

Celtics certify their championship with a beatdown of epic proportions

The Celtics finally completed their 22-year journey back to the NBA championship while Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen all had their careers “certified” as Garnett said during his interview moments after the final buzzer. The 131-92 annihilation of the Los Angeles Lakers in Game 6 was the most lopsided championship-clinching game in league history, delivering a massive spinning back fist to Kobe Bryant’s legacy as the “next” Michael Jordan. After all, can you imagine Mike ever dropping a Finals-clincher by 39 points?

After the game, fans flocked to the streets to celebrate their 17th banner which sounds like a ton of fun, but is really just confusing, frustrating agony. Just try to enjoy yourself amidst a sea of knuckleheads like this:

Categories
Fantasy Football

Odds and Ends: So, you think your fantasy team name is creative, huh?

“Itchy Pujols”: now that’s creative!

There’s no avoiding it any longer, fantasy sports are American males’, and some females’, primary obsession in life. You might say that you love your spouse and your kids, but we know where the true emotion lies. Remember when you blew off going to church so you could fine-tune your lineup before the early kickoffs? Or what about the time you skipped your kid’s recital in order to watch a Monday Night Football blowout because Jason Elam was your kicker and you trailed by seven points? Of course, the biggie was when you forgot about your anniversary while pondering over the name of your team. Well, thanks to FantasyTeamNames.net, you can avoid the last disaster by simply stealing someone else’s creative moniker. Here’s a list of the current top ten fantasy team names.

10.Cleavage Rocks

9.Suck My Ditka
8.Bartolo Colonoscopy
7.Fuhrious
6.Vanek at the Disco
5.Human Growth Whore Moans
4.Travis Henry is My Dad
3.My Vick In A Box
2.Itchy Pujols
1.Byrnes When I Peavy

In other news…

[WashingtonPost.com]: Willie Buns explains his run-in with sex kitten/geezer skeezer Kendra

[MMAMania.com]: Forget about Kimbo for a second. Rampage vs. Griffin is right around the corner!

[WaitingForNextYear.com]: One day closer to the field for Terrelle Pryor

[Newsday.com]: What?! Becky Hammon is a filthy traitor!? Wait, who’s Becky Hammon?

[OnDeckFantasy.com]: Top 10 NBA ballers that you’d probably consider punching in the face

[Bleacher Report]: Notre Dame hates Urban Meyer

[MMA Stomping Grounds]: Dana White still has a big [expletive deleted] announcement to make, just you [expletive deleted] wait and see

[phillyBurbs.com]: Wrestling’s greatest feuds – Taz vs. Sabu

[Tirico Suave]: Tiger Woods, you do not impress Harvey Bars

[YouTube.com]: Wii Fit, it’s not just for chicks anymore

And finally, from Awful Announcing, more Deep Thoughts with our boy Jeff Van Gundy.


JVG Deep Thoughts
by bsap11
Categories
MLB General

Odds and Ends: Andre Dawson’s Creek

Strange, but true; Andre Dawson was a member of the Dawson’s Creek cast.

And you thought Bob Golic was the only professional athlete turned talented actor on the market.

In other news…

[Telegraph.co.uk]: With no Chad Johnson around, horse beats man in marathon

[Blazer’s Edge]: WWE buys the NBA and the Clippers acquire The Great Khali

[YouTube]: Rangers make the best of a wet situation

[ProFootballTalk.com]: Maybe Anquan Boldin will show up for training camp, maybe not

[The Angry T]: Gutsiest all-time performances in sports

[Sports Crackle Pop]: Tyler Hansbrough is a lucky man; a goofy-looking lucky man, but still a lucky man

[RedLasso.com]: Chad Johnson is not a happy camper

[SI.com]: Good thing Sean Franklin isn’t Kimbo Slice

[SherDog.com]: Devin Cole’s sentence? Two rounds with Rampage

[Red Sox Monster]: One very strange ad

And finally, when you think Father’s Day, there should really be only one man who pops into your head. That’s right, Shawn Kemp. So, from Hugging Harold Reynolds comes this Happy Pappy Day poem about the Reign Man.

“Reignman”

Forty ounces to freedom
he forgets what he’s become

never used the mirror for reflection
the perfect surface for the street confection

got the sniffles nothin’ to blame on the weather
can’t lay off the coke it’s become his new pleasure

had a fan base spread wide like pepper mace
seattle’s ace in the hole, now he holds a sad place

when the drugs wore off his mouth remained open wide
hit the drive thru, couldn’t pick one– ordered every side

took the flack, made a comeback, attacked the rack
couldn’t cut it, didn’t make it, pounded a six pack

so many hi-lites, big dunks to remember, the lobs above all
can someone explain how shawn kemp messed up basketball

the number 40 still hangs in my closet, a middle school relic
yeah he’s a bum give’em one more shot, make’em a celtic

fans wanna see one more two-handed jam
give it up to the coverboy of slam

an ode to shawn kemp, the original reign man

Categories
General Sports

The top sports innuendos

The current king of penetrating the
zone

We love watching sports, mainly for all of its elegance and grace, but we’re equally addicted to the bloopers. And it doesn’t have to be the physical kind, we love a good slip of the tongue too. Sometimes, it doesn’t even have to be accidental. During any given game, we’re bound to hear at least a few horrible metaphors from the crew behind the mics. So, here’s a list of the Top Ten Sports Phrases that Cause Uncontrollable Giggles. Just try not to laugh.

10. “flashing some leather” (baseball)

9. “finding the hot receiver” (football)

8. “he touches them all!” (baseball)

7. “lined up in the slot” (football)

6. “hitting the hole hard” (football)

5. “handy stickwork” (hockey)

4. “effective ball movement” (basketball)

3. “getting good wood on it” (baseball)

2. anything involving “Pujols” (baseball)

1. “penetrating the zone” (basketball)

Links:

[Hugging Harold Reynolds]: I Got the Giggles

Categories
NBA General

And the award for fugliest baller ever goes to…

Was there any doubt?

If we asked you to name us the ugliest player in the NBA, there’s no doubt the words “Sam Cassell” would be rolling off you’re tongue before we could even get the question out. But what about the ugliest player in the history of the league? A little tougher, huh? Actually, that’s a pretty easy one as well: Sam Cassell. But what if you had to name nine other players to join E.T. on the NBA’s All-Time Ugly Team? Now, that makes things a little more interesting. Here’s the list that PartMule.com came up with.

10. Scottie Pippen
9. Dirk Nowitzki

8. Pau Gasol
7. Mark Eaton
6. The 1987 Boston Celtics
5. Patrick Ewing
4. Steve Nash
3. (tie) Chris Kaman and Popeye Jones
2. George Muresan
1. Sam Cassell

Wait a second! What about this guy? How’d he slip through the cracks?

Links:

[PartMule.com]: NBA’s All-Time Ugly Team

Categories
All Other Sports

Odds and Ends: Unfortunately, Marcus Vick’s hero is still his big brother

Marcus Vick was arrested early Thursday morning in Norfolk after taking police on a brief chase. Once the former Virginia Tech miscreant was captured, he was charged with driving under the influence and received citations for driving on the wrong side of the road, reckless driving, eluding police and driving on a suspended license before posting bond. And it all started over an argument with his ol’ lady.

According to the police report, a uniformed bicycle patrol officer saw Vick and Cordon sitting in a vehicle in the 200 block on Granby Street, having an apparent altercation. When the officer approached and asked Vick for his license, Vick fled the scene at a high rate of speed, police spokesman Chris Amos said. A description of the vehicle was broadcast, and Vick was pulled over a few minutes later.

As always, Marcus Vick said it was just an accident.

In other news…

[SI.com]: You might hate the Celtics, but you gotta love their dancers

[The World of Isaac]: Stanley cups and babes go hand in hand

[The Love of Sports]: Mullet mania

[TiricoSuave.com]: Kobe will never be Jordan and that’s that!

[Oklahoma Sooners Football Network]: That’s weird, in Texas, a Sooner is a derogatory term

[Cuzoogle.com]: What, no Oliver Miller?

[SportsbyBrooks.com]: The Chinese are literally breeding thousands of Olympians

[The Fightins’]: Another horrible team themed song

[YouTube]: Are you as disgusted with Game 4 of The Finals as this dude?

[Chili Dog Blog]: John Clayton Is A Weasel

And finally, try this excuse the next time you want a day off from work. Sounds insane, but this guy fell for it.