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Chicago Cubs

FOUND: Charlie Weis’ audition tape for The Three Tenors

Anytime someone climbs up to the announcer’s box at a Cubbies game for an opportunity to lead the home crowd in “Take Me Out To The Ballgame,” it’s usually going to end with cats screeching and dogs howling. After all, when is the last time you were watching WGN and saw a rendition that made you stand and applaud? Never, that’s when. So, as expected, when Charlie Weis hoisted himself up to the skybox, he proved he’s tone deaf and we got a kick out of it.

That was pretty bad, but don’t worry, Ozzy, you’re still the man.

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Minnesota Timberwolves

Odds and Ends: The luckiest SOB in all of sports

The guys over at Rumors and Rants are still stewing over the fact that a virtual-nobody in the NBA like
Marko Jaric can be engaged to megamodel Adrianna Lima. Hey, aren’t we all? But Jaric isn’t the only lucky bastard in the world of sports. So, here’s their list of “The Luckiest Guys In Sports History.”

Marko Jaric – Engaged to Adrianna Lima

Jim Sorgi – Peyton Manning’s Backup

Sam Cassell – 2008 Celtics

Eric Gagne – 2007 Boston Red Sox

Scott Podsednik – Married to Lisa Dergan

Christian Laettner – The Dream Team

Tony Romo – The Tail He Pulls

Jud Buechler – Three Titles With The Bulls

Jeremy Shockey – Giants Super Bowl Win

And speaking of lucky, there’s no way we can forget about this lucky dog.

In other news…

[Undrafted Free Agent]: Javon Kearse does his best Cedric Benson impersonation

[SI.com]: Pele gets no respect from the younger generation

[Pyle of List]: Sports movie coaches nominated for the HOF

[CNN.com]: 8-year-old knows more about baseball than most beat reporters

[Tirico Suave]: George Carlin, you will be missed greatly

[Mondesishouse.com]: A day of indulgence

[COEDMagazine.com]: The Babes of Wimbledon 2008

[CollegeOTR.com]: Celebrities’ kid’s colleges revealed

[JoshQPublic.com]: Worst. Strip club. Ever.

[Can’t Stop The Bleeding]: Worst. Rap battle. Ever.

And finally, here’s a guy dropping a subtle hint that he really, really wants a pool.

Categories
Dallas Cowboys

Tony Romo chokes under pressure once again

Tony Romo joined the ever-growing list of Chicago’s infamous vocal villains when he attempted to sing “Take Me Out To the Ball Game” at a Cubs game. Fortunately, for the eardrums of those in attendance, unlike Ozzy Osborne, Eddie Vedder and William Hung (not in Chicago, but still equally gut-wrenching), Romo pretty much gave up after “Take me out to the crowd.”

Wonder if maybe the choke job had something to do with his warm reception from the Cubbies faithful. Considering he’s dating Jessica Simpson, you’d figure her kid sister would have given him some pointers about performing in front of a brutally honest crowd. Remember the Orange Bowl?

Categories
Boxing

Odds and Ends: Anderson Silva vs. Roy Jones Jr. – it could happen


The war for fighting supremacy between boxing and mixed martial arts has been going on for a while now and it looks like we might finally get a little clarification on the matter. NBC Sports is reporting that there are talks going on concerning a boxing bout between the UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva and boxer Roy Jones Jr.

Alan Hopper, director of public relations for Don King Productions confirmed that talks are ongoing, and characterized them as “preliminary.”

“Roy likes the idea and is up for it,” Hopper said. “It’s being discussed. Roy will only agree if the match takes place under the rules of boxing, and UFC would have to clear Silva’s participation.

Making the fight a boxing match clearly gives the advantage to Jones Jr., but that doesn’t mean it can’t be an interesting contest. If the WWE‘s Big Show takes down Floyd Mayweather Jr. at WrestleMania and Silva knocks off Roy Jones Jr. then it could be nighty-night for boxing. It’s a black eye at the very least.

In other news…

[FanIQ.com]: Pole-Vaulting keeps getting sexier and sexier.

[BestWeekEver.tv]: Wiffle ball is more than a game to this dude, it’s an obsession.

[CBS2Chicago.com]: Some “sweet” artwork for a Cubs fan’s crib.

[Awful Announcing]: Stu Scott channels Stephen A. Smith.

[StupidVideos.com]: 58-inch box squat jump.

[KCBD.com]: Brent Barry is back in black (and silver).

[On Frozen Blog]: Alex Ovechkin is in good company.

[Sportsocracy.org]: G.I. Joe fans, we’ve got two words for ya: Snake Eyes.

Categories
Chicago Cubs

First the Cubs taketh then they giveth away


There is something about being a pro athlete that lends itself perfectly to the practical joke. Whether it’s a hotfoot or Big Yum cap-bubble, sports and pranks go hand in hand. Right Tim Buss?

Strength and conditioning coach Tim Buss experienced the agony and the ecstasy of life with the Cubs in a few short hours Tuesday.

When the Cubs began practice in the morning, Aramis Ramirez pointed to a wrecked ’95 Nissan Sentra near the Cubs bullpen and asked: “Hey ‘Bussy,’ what’s your car doing on the ramp?”

Buss looked over at the wreck and replied: “That’s not my car.”

But then Buss did a double take.

“Dude,” he said to Ramirez. “That’s my car!”

Buss soon discovered his car was demolished beyond recognition, but this was no ordinary crime. The car windows all had been smashed in, the front, back and sides all were severely dented and the smoking guns–a couple of baseball bats and balls–were strategically placed in the windshield.

“I figured (Jon) Lieber, (Kerry) Wood immediately, (Ryan) Dempster …” he said. “Then I realized it was every pitcher we have.”

The Cubs players played dumb while Buss silently fumed and wondered how he was going to tell his wife, who was the actual owner of the car.

“It’s a shame,” Lieber said with a straight face. “What kind of person would do something like that? It really just shocks me. I’m sure she’ll understand.”

After the workout ended, Dempster told Buss to “quit pouting” and come with him to the weight room to “see something.”

As they walked out the back door, Buss saw several players and a 2008 Nissan Xterra parked in the walkway. Dempster gave him the keys for the new SUV, valued at about $25,000.

“I thought they lost their mind,” Buss said. “I thought, ‘I’m going to have to call Dr. Phil and have a team meeting.’ I couldn’t figure out what they were doing.”

Buss nearly was moved to tears by the players’ generosity.

“They’re great guys,” he said.

Damn, a new car, huh? And all Kyle Kendrick got was was to keep his job with the Phillies. What a jip!

Links:

[ChicagoTribune.com]: Cubs treat strength coach Tim Buss to new car

Categories
Chicago Cubs

Watch the Cubs choke again for a mere $75,000


Chicago Cubs fans are some of the most loyal, dedicated and passionate fans you can find anywhere in the world of baseball. And when we say “loyal, dedicated and passionate,” what we really mean is obscenely wealthy!

The Chicago Board Options Exchange on Monday opened an auction of 71 new season tickets. The spots are next to the dugout on the third-base line. The highest bid for each set is visible online. By Monday evening, the highest offer was $75,000 for a set of four tickets. (That’s $18,750 per season ticket or just over $264 per seat, per game.)

The auction, which continues at cubs.com through March 13, is part of a deal that gives the CBOE naming rights to the new seats.

Naming rights, huh? “Steve Bartman’s Bleachers” has a nice ring to it if you ask us.

Links:

[SunTimes.com]: $75,000 for Cubs tix?

Categories
Chicago Cubs

Maybe there’s something to this Billy Goat curse after all


Chicago Cubs fans don’t mess around when it comes time for postseason ball. In fact, they get down right nasty. Literally.

Gary Yamashiroya, commander of the Chicago Police district that includes Wrigley, told the Chicago Sun-Times in a story posted Saturday on its Web site that officers were called out to the ballpark at 5:35 a.m. Wednesday to check out reports of something hanging from the bronze statue.

What exactly was hanging from hallowed Harry Caray bronze statue you ask? A slaughtered, skinned goat carcass of course. Don’t believe us? Here’s the video evidence: Video #1, Video #2 and Video #3.

Now, we all know what happened to the Cubs over the weekend. So, we’re guessing these demonic fans are going to be looking to up the ante on the next go-round. Watch your back, Bartman!

Links:

[KSDK.com]: Holy Cow! There Was A Goat Carcass Hanging From Caray Statue
[SunTimes.com]: Dead goat hung from Harry statue

Categories
MLB General

The Full Count: NL West Rules


1. Rocky Road: The Colorado Rockies, with their second straight win in Philadelphia, have virtually locked up a series victory over the Phils. After winning with pitching in Game 1, the offense took over in Game 2. Matt Holliday homered for the second straight game, and Kaz Matsui hit a key grand slam that helped Colorado to a 10-5 victory. The Rockies have been so good the first two games that they have established themselves as the team to beat in the National League. If they close out the series against the Phillies (which they will do as the series goes to Colorado on Saturday), then the Rockies will have by far the best offense left in the NL playoffs. Their pitching staff isn’t bad either, particularly the bullpen. The Rockies’ relievers had six innings pitched in Game 2 and only one earned run. For the Phillies, sluggers Jimmy Rollins and Ryan Howard each bounced back from an unproductive Game 1 with homeruns. However, their awful pitching sent the Phillies into a hole they won’t be able to overcome.

2. Amazing Arizona: The Rockies-Diamondbacks is now the probable NLCS matchup, as Arizona also gained a 2-0 series advantage with another win over the still-cursed Cubs. Chicago starter Ted Lilly got lit up for six runs, starting with a three-run shot by Chris Young. Arizona’s Doug Davis got his first career playoff win, with four runs allowed but eight strikeouts. The Diamondbacks, though far from a formidable team, have proved that they are the class of the National League this year, with its best regular-season record and the almost-clinched NLCS berth. However, they will have to top the red-hot Rockies, which may be more than anyone can handle right now.

3. Pitching Kills: Of all the teams in the MLB playoffs, it seems the Cleveland Indians went it the quietest. However, with a 12-3 statement win over the Yankees in Game 1, they proved they are a team to be feared. This game came down mainly to pitching. Cleveland starter CC Sabathia, though he walked six, allowed only three runs and was credited with the win. Then the bullpen was near-perfect in his relief. The Yankees’ pitchers looked as bad as they were in April. Chien-Ming Wang allowed eight runs, and the bullpen wasn’t any better as the Indians’ lineup dominated. Kenny Lofton went 3-4 with two RBIs, and Travis Hafner and Victor Martinez both homered for the Tribe. This series is far from over, but the Yankees need a Game 2 victory. That will be hard to get, as they face Fausto Carmona, who was just as good (if not better) than Sabathia this year. With those two at the top of the rotation, the Indians have a weapon not a lot of teams can come close to matching.

Categories
MLB General

The Full Count: First round picks


The Tie is Broken: The Rockies and Padres played a rather excellent tiebreaker game that decided who is moving into the playoffs and who is staying home. The game lasted 13 innings, with the Rockies winning 9-8 in dramatic fashion. The Padres scored 2 runs in the 13th off Scott Hariston’s homer, but the Rockies came back in the bottom half of the inning against Trevor Hoffman. They scored three runs to win the game, with Matt Holliday getting the winning run on a close play at the plate. Holliday secured the NL batting title, and also passed Ryan Howard for the NL RBI title with his performance on Monday. The MVP candidate went 2-6 with 2 RBIs, and teammate Troy Tulowitzki was even better with a 4-7, three run effort. The Padres’ Adrian Gonzalez hit a grand slam early in the game to give himself 30 homers and 100 RBIs on the year. Both starters in this contest were lit up early on. Jake Peavy raised his ERA from 2.36 to 2.54 by allowing six runs in six innings. The Rockies’ Josh Fogg gave up five runs in four innings, but was bailed out by an excellent performance from the bullpen. The Rockies, who won 14 of 15 games to win the wild card, are completely deserving of their playoff spot.

Match Me Up: The first round matchups have been finalized, and there are multiple intriguing games across the board. The Red Sox-Angels series will feature two of the league’s best pitching staffs. On Wednesday Beckett vs. Lackey will kick off this showdown. The other AL matchup, Yankees-Indians, is no less interesting. The Yankees are the hottest team in baseball and have by far its best lineup, but the Indians are very balanced and tied the Red Sox for the best regular season record. The NL matchups, though the teams aren’t nearly as good as those in the AL, should also provide for some good baseball. The Phillies-Rockies has great potential, as these were the two highest-scoring teams in the NL this season. Also, both teams are red-hot, having to earn their way into the playoffs by making late-season comebacks. The Diamondbacks-Cubs will be a matchup of two great pitching staffs. Here are my picks for the first round series:

Angels over Red Sox in 5.
Yankees over Indians in 5.
Phillies over Rockies in 4.
Cubs over D-backs in 5.

Categories
MLB General

The Full Count: Yankees clinch

A-rod looking as douchey as possible

1. Lucky Number 13: The Yankees continued the longest playoff streak in all of baseball by clinching a spot in October for the 13th consecutive year. They did so in style, beating the Devil Rays 12-4 as Cano and Jeter homered and Chien-Ming Wang won his 19th game of the season. Now the American League playoff teams are set, with Cleveland, Los Angeles, Boston, and the Yanks competing for the pennant. Unless there is a bizarre change in the standings in the last few days this season, New York will take on the Indians and the Angels will battle the Red Sox in the opening matchups. The Yankees’ run at the playoffs of course was expected before the season, but by the end of May many thought their season was over. That’s because they were one of the worst teams in the AL exactly four months ago, only a few games ahead of Tampa Bay. Since then, however, they’ve had the best record in the league, and with 15 wins in their last 20 games they will head to the postseason with momentum on their side.

2. Still Undecided: The National League playoff situation remains the exact opposite of the American League. While all four teams have clinched in the AL, no team has clinched a playoff berth in the NL. Many contenders seem to be slipping at the wrong time, particularly the Mets. They’ve had the NL East lead the majority of the season, but after losing 9 of their last 13 games, the Phillies are only one game back. The Phillies virtually eliminated the Braves by beating them 5-2; Atlanta would now need a complete miracle to make the playoffs. The situation in the NL Central remains uncertain, as it has been for about a month. The Cubs’ loss gave the Brewers an opportunity to get within a single game, but Milwaukee lost to the Cardinals and remains two back. The hottest team in the NL right now is the Rockies, who have won a franchise-record 10 consecutive games. They are now one game back of the Padres, and tied with Philadelphia.

3. Bye Bye, Barry: Barry Bonds has been extremely quiet ever since breaking the major league homerun record, as the sale of the 756 ball has received more attention than the man who hit it. Bonds has started to play less and less; in fact, until last night he hadn’t appeared since September 15. Now Barry deserves at least some recognition, as he appeared in his last game in a Giants uniform on Wednesday. Bonds, who will likely play next year as a DH for an American League team, has officially ended his tenure with the Giants. He won 5 MVP awards with the club, and hit over 500 homers with them alone. In his last game with the club, Bonds went 0-3 as the Giants lost 11-3 to the Padres. Jake Peavy picked up his 19th win for San Diego.

Player of the Day: Mike Lowell, Red Sox: 3-5, 5 RBIs in an 11-6 win over the A’s. Lowell, who leads the team in RBIs with 116, also set the club’s single-season RBI record for third basemen.