Categories
Arizona Diamondbacks

Odds and Ends: More testicle news than you can stuff in a sack


Awful Announcing brought our attention to a peak and our breakfast back into our mouths when they relayed a story from ABC News concerning what lies ahead for Diamondbacks catcher Chris Snyder and his recently fractured testicle. Here are some of the chilling details.

“I don’t think [Synder will] have a difficult time with it,” he [Jack Llewellyn] said. “With catchers it’s a little bit of a different situation, because catchers are usually perceived as the more rugged guys on a team. They’re used to being hit by foul tips.”

Still, a testicular fracture is not something that is easily shaken off. In simple terms, a testicular fracture involves a “crack” in the testicle; the organ retains its shape, but it is damaged. Though different from a testicular rupture, which involves a complete hemorrhage of the testicle, a fracture in this delicate organ can be extraordinarily painful — and may even require surgery, in many cases.

“It is indeed extraordinarily painful,” said Dr. Mark Litwin, professor of urology and public health at the University of California at Los Angeles. Litwin adds that the natural vulnerability of testicles is “one of these anatomical curiosities med students never understand.”

“The placement of ovaries makes sense. … [Testicles] are in the worst place you could put them. They really are in harm’s way.”

Hey, Doc, you don’t need to tell wrestler D.J. St. James about that.

St. James was a freshman wrestler competing at a high school tournament six years ago. During one match, he was performing a single leg takedown on his opponent when he sustained a sudden and surprising injury.

“When he fell down, his foot came up between my legs,” St. James said. “His foot exploded my testicle.”

St. James didn’t realize the extent of his injury at first. He finished the match with a victory. But the seriousness of the situation soon hit.

“After I walked off the mat, I fell to the ground when I felt the pain,” he recalled. “I can’t describe how much it hurt. … It swelled up bigger than my fist.”

Sweet.

In other news…

[Sports Crackle Pop]: We got two words for ya: Drunk referee

[JarrettCarter.com]: High school basketball players strike back

[OnlineSportsFanatic.com]: NCAA football is right around the corner…NCAA Football 09, that is

[MMA Chump]: Forrest Griffin and Rampage Jackson get suspended following UFC 86

[Grab Your Balls]: Kevin Durant might be a Thundercat. Snarf, snarf!

[NewsOK.com]: Michael Vick’s exact opposite

[Lion in Oil]: What do the sons of Wayne Gretzky, Joe Montana and Will Smith have in common? The gridiron, of course

[The Angry T]: So much money and, yet, such horrible taste in ink

[People.com]: Tony Romo is soooo whipped

[Tirico Suave]: Real life Tony Soprano waves Jeter home

And finally, a day at the beach with a sweet voice-over.

See morefunny videosand funny pictureson CollegeHumor
Categories
New York Yankees

Odds and Ends: "Ball game over! The cake is tainted! Theeeeeeeeeeeeee cake is tainted!"

If you think double-dipping is disgusting then what about finger-dipping? You know, when someone sticks their finger in something, sucks it clean and then walks away. Like Puck and the peanut butter back when The Real World was actually worth watching. Well, according to the New York Post, if you happen to work in the same stadium as Yankees radio announcer John Sterling then you might want to get a vomit bucket ready.

“Sterling has made a habit of walking over to the dessert table and dipping his finger into the ice cream barrel,” one stadium worker told us, adding that the play-by-play vet has also used the same tablespoon to repeatedly take samples. During the Boston series, “He wandered over to the cake and pie section, broke off a piece of a cake slice, ate it and wiped his grimy hands on the linen tablecloth, leaving the remainder of the slice for someone else to eat – which indeed happened,” our spy continued.

Ewwwww. Kid Rock and Tommy Lee won’t even touch those sloppy seconds.

In other news…

[BostonSportz.com]: Even NFL coaches think Tom Brady is hot catch

[FightChat.com]: Need inspiration to become a MMA superstar? Well, here’s the caliber of chicks you could bang

[NBA.com]: Its official! Suck on that Seattle!

[PerezHilton.com]: For once, we agree with Mr. Rainbow Bright

[BooshMagazine.com]: It’s time to play everybody’s favorite game: Legal or Olympic Jailbait!

[The Wall Street Journal]: The NBA mines New Delhi for talent

[FightChat.com]: 16 MMA knockouts in the blink of an eye

[Babble.com]: A-Rod loves him some strippers

[NFLJuice.com]: We like big butts and we cannot lie…

[Tirico Suave]: Go, go, Power Plaschke!

And finally, this is why you always, always, always lock up your lightsaber.

Categories
New York Yankees

Yankees fan turns rivalry game into a WWE Battle Royal

Some southerners out there don’t really understand the magnitude of the rivalry between the Yankees and the Red Sox. More importantly, they don’t really understand the magnitude of the rivalry between the Yankees’ fans and the Red Sox’s fans. For anyone who doesn’t get it, we would like to present exhibit A.


http://view.break.com/492096 – Watch more free videos

Categories
New York Yankees

Joba Chamberlain strikes out with Erin Andrews

We don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Erin Andrews is pretty damn hot. So, it figures that she’s probably used to hearing a bunch of crap from guys both on and off the clock. Normally, she’s pretty professional, but in this interview with Joba Chamberlain, she let her emotions show, giving the Yankees pitcher a reaction normally reserved for drunken frat boys.

Links:

[The Big Lead]: Erin Andrews Gives Joba Chamberlain the Eye Roll

Categories
MLB General

2008 MLB Payrolls



It’s good to be A-Rod

The 2008 Major League Baseball payrolls were released today and the Yankees somehow managed to spend more than ever with a total payroll of $209M. That is a $14M increase over last year’s payroll, which incidentally bought them a first round exit out of the playoffs by the Indians, who cost about a third as much. It’s hardly surprising that the Yankees are #1 when you consider that A-Rod will make more than the entire Florida Marlins roster this year.

The real surprise is that the Red Sox are no longer #2.  Boston actually pared payroll by $10M this season and have been supplanted by the Detroit Tigers, who acquired Dontrelle Willis and Miguel Cabrera in the offseason, apparently with designs to win it all this year.  The Tigers spent a league high $43.5M more this year vs 2007.  Other teams who really opened up the checkbook this year are the Mets (+$20M) and the… Rays?  Tampa Bay spent an extra $20M this year but still ranks next to last with a total payroll of $43.8M.  

Besides the Red Sox, the Giants, A’s, and Orioles all stand out for significantly reducing payroll when MLB as a whole spent an additional $203M this year vs 2007.  For the record, the Rockies only spent $54M on payroll last year.

The entire 2008 MLB Payroll numbers after the jump.

Categories
New York Yankees

This isn’t an SNL skit, the Yankees sign Billy Crystal


The Yankees did it again. New York is unlike any other pro sports franchise in that they have a seemingly endless supply of money to throw at whoever they want whenever they want. With the season rapidly approaching, it’s time for the club to start doing some its famous Yankee tinkering, but we think they’re going to regret their latest acquisition. After all, Billy Crystal might be a beast in the field, but he’s got no power whatsoever left in his swing.

Crystal will sign the [one-day] contract and work out with the Yankees at Legends Field on Wednesday, before playing in the club’s game on against the Pirates on Thursday. Commissioner Bud Selig approved the Yankees’ extension of a contract to Crystal.

“I’ve been waiting 50 years for this call,” Crystal said. “I’m overwhelmed by the generosity of the Yankees and Commissioner Selig. I know this’ll be tougher than the Broadway Softball League, but I’m looking forward to helping the younger players — by the way, which is all of them.”

Crystal, who turns 60 on Friday, will wear uniform No. 60 in the game.

Wait, Crystal is 60 years old!?!? Has someone checked this guy for illegal substances yet?

Links:

[MLB.com]: Yankees to sign comedian Crystal
[CBS4.com]: Billy Crystal To Play In Yankees Exhibition

Categories
Cleveland Cavaliers

Around the Rim: It’s gotta be the shoes


1. Tongue in cheek
LeBron James loves the Yankees. In fact, he loves them so much that his latest shoe, James’ Air Zoom V, are dedicated to the pinstripes.

Dominated by the team’s traditional blue-and-white color scheme, the Air Zoom LeBron V shoe features New York’s famed pinstripes as well as James’ No. 23. Under the tongue are the words: “Le-Bron Ja-Mes. Clap. Clap. Clap Clap Clap,” a nod to the cheer New York fans reserve for the Yankees; and on the strap is the phrase: “Fresh for ’08. Suckers!

2. Pass happy Nash gets offensive

Steve Nash is known for his passing prowess, but on Tuesday night it was his scoring that took center stage. The two-time MVP went off for a season-high 37 points on 13-of-23 shooting to go along with his traditional double-digit assist total (10). Nash scored 15 of his points in the fourth quarter, almost single-handedly matching the 22 points scored by the entire Bucks team during the final period of their 114-105 loss. The win improved Phoenix’s record to 30-5 against Milwaukee since the 1990-91 season, the best record by any team against another in that time frame.

3. Sactown rebound
For the first time this year, Sacramento had all their stars in the starting lineup and, boy, did it show. The Kings whooped up on the Nets 128-94 thanks to the on-court reunion between Ron Artest, Kevin Martin and Mike Bibby. All three were in the starting five for Sactown, combining for 61 points in the win. Artest led the way, scoring 27 while Martin put in 19 points and Bibby finished with 15 and seven assists. The Kings still have a long, long way to go before they start making noise in an unbelievable competitive Western Conference, but this game could be the start of an interesting second half of the season for Sacramento.

Tuesday’s Player of the Day: Steve Nash @ Milwaukee 37 min, 37 pts (FG: 13-23, 3FG: 5-9, FT: 6-7), 4 reb, 10 ast, 2 stl

Wednesday’s Game to Watch: Los Angeles Lakers (27-12) @ San Antonio (26-13)
This isn’t the rivalry it used to be, but it is defiantly on the rebound. With the Spurs suffering through a minor slump and the Lakers playing their best ball since the Diesel drove cross country to Miami, this is once again a statement game for both clubs. Kobe Bryant continues to shock and awe fans by seemingly growing into a leader before our very eyes, making pedestrian players a vital part of the game plan. Of course, the loss of Andrew Bynum will play a major part in this contest as Los Angeles will be severely undermanned against Tim Duncan in the paint. San Antonio is currently sitting at sixth in the West, dangerously close to sliding out of the playoff picture after losing five of their previous 10 games.

Buzzer Beater: Talk about going from bad to worse. The Heat found out on Tuesday that Shaquille O’Neal will miss at least the next two weeks with acute inflammation in his hip and his quadriceps muscle. Just a former shell of himself, Shaq’s presence wasn’t exactly doing the Heat any favors, but his absence still hurts. With Alonzo Mourning done and Shaq riding the injury list, Mark Blount will most likely take over the starting center spot. Can you say 15-game losing streak?

Categories
New York Yankees

Hey, that’s my boy over there. No, not the Sox fan! He’s the baton-twirling cheerleader.

We know that the MLB season is over and the Red Sox are atop the baseball world again, but that doesn’t mean that Yankees fans aren’t still bitter.

Wow, as outsiders to the whole New York/Boston thing; we gotta admit, after seeing that father disown his ‘Sox son’ for Sonjaya’s Caucasian brother, we finally see how powerful this rivalry really is!

Categories
MLB General

The Full Count: Rest up Rockies, this might be a while


Not so Fast: The Indians, one game shy of reaching the World Series, lost to Boston in what was a must-win game for the Red Sox. Boston won only because of the efforts of their best players, both on offense and pitching. Josh Beckett remained utterly fantastic this postseason. He had 11 strikeouts and allowed one run in eight innings, improving to 3-0 in this postseason. Beckett has become one of the best playoff pitchers not just in the game today but all-time. He has a 5-2 career record in the playoffs with a 1.78 ERA and is averaging 9 strikeouts per start. Unfortunately for the Red Sox, this is the last start they can get from Beckett this series, as Game 7 if played is slated for Sunday. But the Red Sox’s 7-1 victory was not just a solo effort. Manny Ramirez, the all-time playoff home run leader, went 2-4 with an RBI; playoff monster David Ortiz had two RBIs and kept his average over .400 this postseason. For the Indians, it was another shaky start for CC Sabathia, who has let down his team with a string a poor performances in the playoffs. Fausto Carmona, who tossed a shutout in the divisional series, is looking to bounce back from a subpar Game 2 effort as he pitches in Game 6 on Saturday. The Red Sox will send Curt Schilling to the mound as they return to Fenway Park, still needing two straight wins to reach the World Series.

Choosing to Walk Away: Joe Torre was not fired as expected by some, though he still won’t be returning to the Yankees next season. The legendary, sure-fire Hall of Fame manager turned down a contract offer from George Steinbrenner. He was offered a one year deal worth $5 million, less than he had been making yet still more than any other manager in baseball. For reasons unknown, Torre turned down the offer, ending a glorious 12-year run as Yankees manager. He won 4 World Series titles and ten division championships as manager of the Yankees. No matter who replaces Torre, they will likely never come close to his success.

Categories
New York Yankees

David Letterman gets the scoop on the Yankees off-season

The Yankees were eliminated from the postseason the other day, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t still the talk of the town in New York. Joe Torre, Alex Rodriguez, crying journalists; the madness just won’t stop. It even permeated into the grand Ed Sullivan Theater on Broadway.

Wow, who would have thought that the pectoral muscles of A-Rod and Biff would be so identical?

Links:

[Our Book of Scrap]: David Letterman Is Still Pretty Damn Funny