First the Cubs taketh then they giveth away


There is something about being a pro athlete that lends itself perfectly to the practical joke. Whether it’s a hotfoot or Big Yum cap-bubble, sports and pranks go hand in hand. Right Tim Buss?

Strength and conditioning coach Tim Buss experienced the agony and the ecstasy of life with the Cubs in a few short hours Tuesday.

When the Cubs began practice in the morning, Aramis Ramirez pointed to a wrecked ’95 Nissan Sentra near the Cubs bullpen and asked: “Hey ‘Bussy,’ what’s your car doing on the ramp?”

Buss looked over at the wreck and replied: “That’s not my car.”

But then Buss did a double take.

“Dude,” he said to Ramirez. “That’s my car!”

Buss soon discovered his car was demolished beyond recognition, but this was no ordinary crime. The car windows all had been smashed in, the front, back and sides all were severely dented and the smoking guns–a couple of baseball bats and balls–were strategically placed in the windshield.

“I figured (Jon) Lieber, (Kerry) Wood immediately, (Ryan) Dempster …” he said. “Then I realized it was every pitcher we have.”

The Cubs players played dumb while Buss silently fumed and wondered how he was going to tell his wife, who was the actual owner of the car.

“It’s a shame,” Lieber said with a straight face. “What kind of person would do something like that? It really just shocks me. I’m sure she’ll understand.”

After the workout ended, Dempster told Buss to “quit pouting” and come with him to the weight room to “see something.”

As they walked out the back door, Buss saw several players and a 2008 Nissan Xterra parked in the walkway. Dempster gave him the keys for the new SUV, valued at about $25,000.

“I thought they lost their mind,” Buss said. “I thought, ‘I’m going to have to call Dr. Phil and have a team meeting.’ I couldn’t figure out what they were doing.”

Buss nearly was moved to tears by the players’ generosity.

“They’re great guys,” he said.

Damn, a new car, huh? And all Kyle Kendrick got was was to keep his job with the Phillies. What a jip!

Links:

[ChicagoTribune.com]: Cubs treat strength coach Tim Buss to new car

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