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Donovan McNabb doesn’t know NFL games can end in ties

The Eagles just had the first tie game in 6 years. ¬†Against the Bengals. ¬† And to add insult (or hilarity) to injury, here’s McNabb telling a reporter that he didn’t know NFL games can end in ties. ¬† Hmmm, I guess that explains the lack of urgency during the last couple minutes of the game.

Wait.. check that, there was no urgency at all during the game either.

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The Madden cover that should have been

If not for John Madden being in love with Brett Favre, this is the madden cover that should have been released this year. And it would have been perfect for the Madden Curse.

Source: Operation Sports

Oh Tiger Woods, you crazy blasphemer you

This is a fantastic commercial by EA Sports for the new Tiger Woods 09. It was made in response to a guy who found a glitch in Tiger Woods 08 that let him play in the water.

By the way, are you allowed to dip your club in the water like that when playing from a lily pad? Or is that like playing out of a bunker?

OK, now we’ve seen it all!

He bowls strikes and he gets out of wearing those nasty rental shoes. We’re officially jealous.

Randy Orton does his best Jay Williams impression

Professional athletes love to play with their big boy toys every chance they get, but, unfortunately, many times those toys wind up getting the best of their owners; especially when the toy is a motorcycle. Well, add former WWE champion Randy Orton to that list after he broke his collarbone falling off his mean machine.

Randy Orton was involved in a motorcycle accident near his home Sunday night that could have ended his life were he not wearing a helmet.

Orton, who has only been riding motorcycles for a month, said he was riding around a sharp curve on a steep hill home when an oncoming car veered into his lane causing him to widen his turn.

Orton then struck a curb and was thrown from his bike. He collided with the ground, knocking him unconscious. In his words, Orton “bounced and rolled just under 300 feet, landing in a ditch.”

“When I came to, I knew I had rebroken my collarbone,” said Orton. “When the police and fireman got there, they asked me ‘Where’s the guy who was in the wreck?’ and I said ‘It was me.’”

Orton, who was wearing just shorts and a sweatshirt, only sustained the rebroken collarbone.

Shorts and a sweatshirt might sound like odd apparel for a motorcycle ride, but it still beats some of the other outfits he’s been caught in.

Links:

[WWE.com]: Randy Orton escapes accident with only a broken collarbone

Odds and Ends: USC! USC! USC!

We can’t wait for the college football season to arrive, but it’s not for the reasons you might think. Sure, we love the history-filled rivalries, the tailgating and the school pride, but more than anything, we love the cheerleaders. What? Did you expect us to say the option offense or something? Here’s the latest preseason top 10 rankings for this year.

10. Alabama’s Auburn University tops off the list at number 10. Six of this sexy squad’s cheerleaders were named Who’s Who Among Students in American Universities and Colleges.

9. Hailing from sunny California are the ladies of San Diego State. SD State is not just among the top hottest cheerleaders but they also took home third place in the 2008 College Cheerleading and Dance Team Nationals.

8. Reigning at number eight, are the Clemson Cheerleaders all the way from South Carolina.

7. Representing the home of Britney Spears and the Louisiana State Tigers are the LSU Cheerleaders at lucky number seven.

6. The Ohio State Cheerleaders made an appearance earlier this year at CBS and now they are making an appearance on the top ten list at number six.

5. Stirring up the fans and tipping off the top five are the Oregon State Cheerleaders.

4. Everything is bigger in Texas, especially the talent – at number four are the University of Texas Cheerleaders.

3. The recipients of 16 national titles, it’s no wonder the University of Kentucky Cheerleaders are at number three.

2. Holding their own with 5 national title victories are the ladies from Kentucky’s University of Louisville.

1. And the number one hottest cheerleaders are the USC Cheerleaders aka The Song Girls. These ladies bring good luck, cheers and songs to the devoted Trojan fans.

In other news…

[Sports Cucumber]: America officially no longer cares about men’s gymnastics

[Gossip on Sports]: President Bush salutes an American flag, er, ass. Whatever

[YardBarker.com]: Any idea who won between Jon Fitch and Georges St. Pierre?

[The Beautiful Game]: Always keep your head on a swivel when watching soccer

[NYPost.com]: The Boss is set to rock the Super Bowl

[Denver Stiffs]: The hardest man to trade in the NBA?…

[The Spoiler]: Spain is soooo totally mature

[Tirico Suave]: Kobe gets funky while riding the pine

[Kissing Suzy Kolber]: “The continuing adventures of Tony and Jess”

[StupidVideos.com]: A hockey player with no aim

[The World of Isaac]: It’s not Erin Andrews, but we’ll take it

[The Love of Sports]: Top 20 TD Celebrations

[YuppiePunk.org]: Dennis Rodman’s hair suddenly doesn’t look so bad

[YardBarker.com]: Can you name 10 RBs who make more money than Brian Westbrook? You got three minutes. Go!

And finally, here’s a good way to impress your friends…and make them fear you.

Wonder why they call this kid "George of the Jungle"?

Remember way back in the day when the NFL stuck the uprights smack in the middle of the end zone? Why don’t they do that anymore?

10 tremendous themes for your fantasy football team name

Fantasy football is right around the corner, so, by now, you should have already come up with a clever name for your squad because we all know that the picking the right name is half the battle. After all, have you ever seen a squad called the Hawks or Team Smith actually win a fantasy Super Bowl? Of course not! So, if your team is still nameless then here are some tips to help pin down that all important moniker and strike fear into the hearts of your opponents.

10. Hetero double entendres. Kind of a frat boy thing, but this can work if you find a particularly repulsive slang term (UrbanDictionary.com is your friend), or you can tie it into some regrettable instance from a league mate’s past. Can you win a league with the team from spite? Of course you can.

Samples (and they should all fit in the character Yahoo limit): My Johnson Is A Tank, Snake Stabler Sneaks, Fourth and Very Long

9. Off-field scandal. Another obvious play, especially if you go for something topical. Trust me, fifteen million meatheads are going to use their team name this year to reference Fat Ced Benson, to the point where he’s going to be the best known player in the CFL in two years. If you are going here, I’d go for something with historical stopping power, but if you’re a Bears fan, I can understand the need for Ceed. At least be quick about it, so the other guy in the league who wants to go there will look like a tool, rather than you.

Sample: Driving Miss Benson, Carruth’s Comebacks, Leinart’s Beer Bongs

8. Homo eroticism. A bit more confident, but still kind of a meathead staple. Much more permissible when used in conjunction with a personal attack on a fellow owner, especially if that owner gets a little too angry at the jibe. Where there’s smoke…

Samples: Offensive Holding, Tight End Blockers, Very Wide Receivers, Ocho Homos

7. Scatological. Najeh Davenport is the gift that keeps on giving here, with a contribution to fantasy football that will be around long after he’s dead and gone. For extra originality points, try using a non-common term for the deed. This one also works if your team is something you always want to flush at mid-season.

Samples: 3 Hour Groaners, Romeo’s Brown Eggs, Najeh’s Feedback, Duce Staleys, Rich Kotites

6. Crime. Football team names are supposed to be aggro, so let the USFL (Invaders — wow, maybe that needs to go in category eight) and XFL (Hitmen) be your guide to Thug Life. (Please keep in mind though, 2Pac, that you are engaging in Dungeons and Dragons for football fans here, before you get too serious about your street cred.)

Samples: Jersey Wet Workers, The Hired Goons, Ninjas & More Ninjas

5. Cultural References. A very sound choice if you are in a 100% redraft league, and convenient for time-stressed feedback. Why develop your own voice, when you can just crib from people who are more clever than you? By the mid-season mark, everyone will be sick to death of it, but that adds valuable Heel Points for enraging your victims. (Yes, I have gone here. Many, many times.)

Samples: There Will Be Blood, Grand Theft Football, Mean Machine

4. Non Sequiturs. To befuddle your opponents into thinking that you are either an idiot man-child who can be suckered into deals, or to just make owners that you don’t know give you a wide berth, let the Dada art and poetry movements be your guide. Bonus points if your team name is vaguely unsettling or unseemly.

Samples: Mustache Fish Riders, Fruit Transmissions, Angry When Angered

3. Nerdgasms. Take your lead from one of my heroes, Stephen Colbert, and just *own* your nerding by making fun of yourself first. That way, everyone else will seem like they got to the party late, and you’ll seem like a better guy than you are when it comes to making trades. Besides, look at who makes all the money now, and didn’t just inherit it. What do you got? NERDS!

Samples: +4 Vorpal Quarterback, Third Life Warriors, Klingon Air Power

2. Pejoratives. If you are like me, well, you really should get that checked. You also hate your team as soon as you are done drafting it, or if and when they ever lose. About the only thing you can be sure about in playing this game is that the capacity for self-abuse is endless, whether it comes from benching the wrong players to making the wrong pick or getting buggered in a trade to being too slow for the hot free agent pickup… well, I’ll just stop here before I start punching myself. So why not make your team reflect your true nature?

Samples: Toilet Dwellers, Freaking Losers, Very Special Teams, Douchebags R Us

1. Meta comedy. When all else fails, just call your team something sad and generic, especially if it has nothing to do with your actual rooting interest. This one works well if everyone else in the league has nerded up and gone over the top with their names, and can’t be beat for the sheer time savings. The only down side is that, well, I’ve never seen a team win with this strategy, and dry humor doesn’t always translate into written speech.

Samples: Cardinals, Football Team, Wildcats, Lines Of Numbers

Links:

[Epic Carnival]: Top 10 Fantasy Football Naming Conventions

Bill Plaschke is what he eats

Links:

[The Big Lead]: Bill Plaschke Went to Beijing and Ate a Penis

Brady Quinn likes to call guys “chief” while munching on barbacoa

With all the Brett Favre to the Jets talk over the past several days, you probably missed out on the big “Brady Quinn goes to Chipotle” story. Luckily, nothing gets past TheClevelandFan.com. Continued

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