We all knew that golf without Tiger Woods was going to be tough, but nobody expected it to be this brutal. It’s like watching the Bulls dynasty play without Michael Jordan. Sure, it’s a’ight, but if Leave It to Beaver comes on or it starts raining outside your window then you’re probably going to be easily distracted. Yup, life without Tiger sure does suck and here’s a catchy tune so you don’t ever forget it.
After OneNewsNow.com’s embarrassing/hilarious mix-up involving sprinter Tyson Homosexual Gay, it was announced that the Christian news website will begin creating sports trading cards. Basically, they’re going to be similar to Garbage Pail Kids, but without the Scratch `n Stink cards. Luckily, TiricoSuave.com was able to get their hands on some of the high-demand cards before they hit the streets. If you thought Potty Scotty and Jason Basin or Adam Bomb and Blasted Billy were hilarious then you’ll love these duos.
Chubby Cox – Girthy Members
Dick Trickle – Phallic Secretion
Albert Pujols – Albert Sodomy Zone
Rusty Kuntz – Unkempt Vaginas
We are absolutely dying to see what they come up with for Lucious Pusey and Craphonso Thorpe.
In other news…
[Arrowhead Addict]: He’s just a rookie, but Glenn Dorsey already has one of the best nicknames in the NFL
Golf courses are getting harder and harder everyday. Between the woods, the water and the rough, most amateur hackers have their hands full just completing all 18 holes. And that was before some courses started implementing golf’s newest hazard: the armed robber.
An armed robbery on the golf course at Brynwood Country Club Saturday morning startled a foursome and their caddies, but could not keep the club’s golfers from their game.
When the party of six, four golfers and two caddies, reached the 16th tee shortly after 11 a.m. a lone gunman emerged from nearby woods and said, “Give me your money,” according to police.
Armed with a handgun and covering his face with a mask, the gunman robbed two of the golfers and one of the caddies before fleeing into the woods at the club, located at 6200 W. Good Hope Road.
Officials at the club said the foursome finished their round of golf following the incident.
Finished their round, huh? Sounds like these dudes were either some really cool customers or somebody in the foursome invested in the discrete urinary necessity, the UroClub.
[Steady Burn]: Golfers Robbed at Gun Point on the 16th Tee
[TheWeirdPost.com]: Golfers robbed on the 16th tee, continued their round of golf
As kids, if you wore glasses then you were probably going to get made fun of. That’s just one of the many sad facts of childhood. However, once kids get older and mature, they realize that making insulting comments about someone’s appearance is ridiculously petty…except in sports. So, here’s On Deck Sports list of the Top 5 Goggled Athletes. Just get a load of these four-eyed freaks.
5. Kurt Rambis
4. James Worthy
3. Horace Grant
2. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
1. Chris Sabo
And let’s not forget about Dwyane Wade who has the thickest set of beer goggles we’ve ever seen on a pro athlete.
Golf is a great game for youngsters. It is capable of teaching kids a plethora of life skills like patience, planning, decision-making and sportsmanship to name a few. Oh, and it prepares them for life at the nuddie bar as well.
Young golfers, ages 7 to 12, had not completed their Monday morning tournament before participants arrived in limousines for the Shotgun Willie’s Charity Golf Tournament.
The latter event featured patrons of the strip club paired with dancers who served as caddies. Broomfield Police later broke up the event after complaints from neighbors.
“It was mistiming,” said Eagle Trace Manager Evelyn Koch.
Koch says she has personally apologized to angry parents who have called Eagle Trace. She admits the exotic dancers should not have been in the clubhouse at the same time as the children, but downplayed the idea that the kids witnessed risqué behavior.
“I cannot tell you the girls didn’t flash out there,” Koch said. “But it wasn’t a free-for-all.”
“There was nothing inappropriate going on around the clubhouse when the kids were around,” said golf instructor Dustin Moser, who said the racier action took place later. “There was a handful of girls that got a little out of control.”
Moser admitted several dancers were scolded for “top-dropping.”
Golf course workers say the Shotgun Willie’s dancers were not allowed to strip down to their bikinis until after the children had been picked up by their parents.
“They were not allowed to go topless,” said Koch. “They were just flirting with the guys.”
“When I walked into the club house to look for my girls, I saw a woman straddling a male at a dining table,” said a mother who picked up her two children at the golf club.
The woman, who asked not to be identified, contacted 9NEWS after the story was first reported. She says she felt Eagle Trace Golf Club was trying to minimize what happened.
She says her children had quite a few questions on the ride home.
“‘Mom, why is she only wearing underwear?'” she recalled. “‘Mom, why are the girls wearing white and why do the men have water guns?'”
Sounds like it’s time to teach that kid about “Fore!” play.
[9News.com]: Mulligan! Kids golf tourney overlaps with strip club’s event
If you can’t make it out to the driving range and you’ve really got an itching to smack some balls then the safest place to aim would be into a massive body of water, right? Well, sorta; depends on who you’re trying to protect.
When you go golfing, what’s the biggest problem you encounter? Oh, and getting the beer girl’s number and breaking par don’t count. Obviously, the answer is finding a decent spot to piss. While most normal dudes will just head for the nearest tree or, if you’re our friends, the nearest unattended golf bag, the UroClub allows you to stick your unit in the handle of a replica 7 iron and relieve yourself while taking a couple practice swings. Call us old school, but we’re heading for the woods.
Every aspect of this piece of equipment has been meticulously worked out to make it simple and trouble free to use. To start with, the UroClub is designed from a light weight resin with a molded grip. The cap opens and closes easily and is designed with a triple sealing system to ensure that it is leak proof.
The privacy shield hooks to the sides of the pants or belt and adds stability. This allows freedom of the hands to manipulate the club and zipper.
The entire club is made of a non-porous material. Therefore, caring and cleaning is effortless!
The UroClub is intended to eliminate anxiety and any feeling of uneasiness on the course. It can be emptied at the nearest restroom or later on, when the golfer returns home.
Capacity: Over half a liter, twice the volume commonly urinated.
Length: Like a standard 7 Iron
Special wholesale prices are directed to encourage club makers to brand UroClub and include it in their accessory lines, just like gloves or umbrellas.
Whether for your own use or for your company,
as a curiosity, or a urinary necessity, get UroClub now!
Tiger Woods gets asked a lot of dull questions and, in turn, he delivers a lot of dull answers. We love the guy but, half the times, you already know what he’s going to say before he says it. So, it’s good to see somebody break the norm and throw him a curveball every now-n-then in order to see how he reacts. Here’s one way to do it.