College Football

Odds and Ends: USC! USC! USC!

We can’t wait for the college football season to arrive, but it’s not for the reasons you might think. Sure, we love the history-filled rivalries, the tailgating and the school pride, but more than anything, we love the cheerleaders. What? Did you expect us to say the option offense or something? Here’s the latest preseason top 10 rankings for this year.

10. Alabama’s Auburn University tops off the list at number 10. Six of this sexy squad’s cheerleaders were named Who’s Who Among Students in American Universities and Colleges.

9. Hailing from sunny California are the ladies of San Diego State. SD State is not just among the top hottest cheerleaders but they also took home third place in the 2008 College Cheerleading and Dance Team Nationals.

8. Reigning at number eight, are the Clemson Cheerleaders all the way from South Carolina.

7. Representing the home of Britney Spears and the Louisiana State Tigers are the LSU Cheerleaders at lucky number seven.

6. The Ohio State Cheerleaders made an appearance earlier this year at CBS and now they are making an appearance on the top ten list at number six.

5. Stirring up the fans and tipping off the top five are the Oregon State Cheerleaders.

4. Everything is bigger in Texas, especially the talent – at number four are the University of Texas Cheerleaders.

3. The recipients of 16 national titles, it’s no wonder the University of Kentucky Cheerleaders are at number three.

2. Holding their own with 5 national title victories are the ladies from Kentucky’s University of Louisville.

1. And the number one hottest cheerleaders are the USC Cheerleaders aka The Song Girls. These ladies bring good luck, cheers and songs to the devoted Trojan fans.

In other news…

[Sports Cucumber]: America officially no longer cares about men’s gymnastics

[Gossip on Sports]: President Bush salutes an American flag, er, ass. Whatever

[]: Any idea who won between Jon Fitch and Georges St. Pierre?

[The Beautiful Game]: Always keep your head on a swivel when watching soccer

[]: The Boss is set to rock the Super Bowl

[Denver Stiffs]: The hardest man to trade in the NBA?…

[The Spoiler]: Spain is soooo totally mature

[Tirico Suave]: Kobe gets funky while riding the pine

[Kissing Suzy Kolber]: “The continuing adventures of Tony and Jess”

[]: A hockey player with no aim

[The World of Isaac]: It’s not Erin Andrews, but we’ll take it

[The Love of Sports]: Top 20 TD Celebrations

[]: Dennis Rodman’s hair suddenly doesn’t look so bad

[]: Can you name 10 RBs who make more money than Brian Westbrook? You got three minutes. Go!

And finally, here’s a good way to impress your friends…and make them fear you.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.
College Football

We make all our tough decisions on the can, but the Buckeyes do it in the shower

In football, all of a team’s players have to be on the exact same page at the exact same time for things to execute perfectly. Sometimes this unity is required on the gridiron, but other times it’s about coming together off of the field…in the shower, for example. At least, that’s where the Ohio State boys did their heavy thinking.

ESPN: I hate to make you describe a shower scene, but take me back to after the LSU loss when you and the other juniors talked about coming back for this season.

MF [Marcus Freeman]: Just a lot of emotion. Sitting on that bench and thinking, ‘Hey, I don’t think I’m going to come back and have this feeling again.’ But we got in the shower, everybody’s disappointed. I forget who was the first person to say something, but it was weird that all of us that had major decisions about coming back were all in the shower at the same time. (Alex) Boone or Malcolm Jenkins or someone said, ‘Hey, I’m coming back. I’m not leaving college football like this.’ And then James Laurinaitis said, ‘I’m coming back, too,’ and I said, ‘I’m coming back, too.’ We all knew we really had to go home and think about it, but that was the first feeling of, ‘Hey, let’s come back and do it one more time. Let’s go out with a bang our senior year.’

Sure, making a life-altering decision like coming back for your senior season in the shower seems kinda silly, but it’s no crazier than passing up the opportunity to turn pro while sitting in barren kitchen.

Question: You guys passed up a lot of money to stay. You’re living on scholarship checks.

[Malcolm] Jenkins (smiling): Every time you look in your refrigerator and you’ve only got peanut butter and jelly, you know, it makes you (think) like, “Dang, I wish I would’ve taken that 15 million dollars.”


[FanHouse]: Ohio State Players Decided to Return to College While Showering Together
[BuckeyeXtra]: For love of game: Ohio State juniors decide as one

All Other Sports

If you want to tailgate with the big boys then you gotta get a Party-A-Cargo

The football season is slowly creeping up on us and, before you know it, the pigskins will be flying once again. Of course, the kickoff of the college and pro football schedules really signifies something much bigger: tailgating. Now, you might think you have the ultimate tailgating setup with your generators, barbecue grill, big screen television and gigantic team flag, but you really don’t have anything until you equip your truck with one of these bad boys.

Getting a Party-A-Cargo tow hitch mounted kegerator accomplishes these four things:

Allows you to pour up to 160 ice cold keg beers all day long with only one keg and a 20-pound bag of ice. (Sorry Can Man, you’ll have to recycle someone else’s empties.)

You can play your music for up to 12 hours without using your vehicle’s battery. (Obviously the guys in the video recommend some AC/DC but you can play whatever you like.)

You’ll head into your game or concert without having to clean up empty beer cans or reload heavy and dirty coolers back into you vehicle. (The locking doors ensure nobody will steal your beer while you’re inside the venue either.)

More importantly, you’ll be the envy of every tailgater in the parking lot. (If you can’t round up some random poon with this on the back of your vehicle, you will probably remain celibate for the rest of your life.)

There are three different units available.

Party-A-Cargo Standard – $2,895
Box Installation Kit
Kegerator/Jockey Box
2 – 6″x9″ speakers

Party-A-Cargo Medium – $3,395
Box Installation Kit
Kegerator/Jockey Box
2 – 6″x9″ speakers
10″ subwoofer
Sirius satellite radio

Party-A-Cargo Ultimate – $3,795
Box Installation Kit
Kegerator/Jockey Box
2 – 6″x9″ speakers
10″ subwoofer
Sirius satellite radio
Built-in battery charger
12-volt power adapter


[]: A Kegerator For The Booze Hound On The Go

College Football

Don’t mess with this Hawg’s hog, uh, scooter

Soaring gas prices are hitting everyone hard, forcing many to resort to unconventional means of transportation. Some are choosing to walk when they can, others ride bicycles around town, while some brave souls even dare to climb aboard the public transportation systems (Note: Watch out for homeless people’s urine in the seats. We learned the hard way.). All in all, this lifestyle change is making the general population a bit cranky and edgy. Case in point, 6-foot-1-inch, 205-pound Arkansas linebacker Wendel Davis opted to go with riding a scooter and went psycho when he was rear-ended.

Arkansas linebacker Wendel Davis faces a felony criminal mischief charge after police say he punched through the window of a car that bumped his scooter.

Davis, 19, of Sweeny, Texas is scheduled to appear before a judge July 30 over the charge, stemming from an altercation Tuesday afternoon. If convicted, Davis could face up to 10 years in prison and a $10,000 fine.

A university police spokesman says Davis’ fist put dents into the car and broke its windshield. Davis was released without bond pending his court hearing.

OK, so there appears to be more to this story than simple road rage over gas prices like we indicated earlier. Turns out Davis was involved in an altercation with the rear-ender, Onyebuchi Odunukwe, hours before the “accident” and sent Davis threatening texts during the days prior. What caused the beef? A chickenhead, of course.

Davis said the threats began after he kissed Odunukwe’s girlfriend early Saturday

The babes simply can’t resist mopeds.


[]: Arkansas LB Davis faces felony charge
[]: Davis Claims Motorist Threatened Him

General Sports

Odds and Ends: Who knew MS baseball players knew about slump busters?

An Alabama middle school teacher is facing 20 years on sex abuse offenses after getting busy with nearly the entire baseball team! We’re guessing her defense will be it was all just a means of expressing team spirit.

A teacher has been accused of having sex with eight members of a school baseball team.

Julie Pritchett began a relationship with a 15-year-old boy in February. The 34-year-old married teacher later approached other members of the team for sex.

The incidents allegedly took place both on school premises and at the boys’ homes while their parents were out.

She was discovered when one of the 15-year-old boys at the school, in the town of Trussville, Alabama, told his parents. They alerted the police.

Pritchett, who taught at Clay-Chalkville Middle School, has been charged with two counts of sedomy and one count of sexual abuse.

Eat your heart out, Pokey Chatman.

In other news…

[]: Test your NBA Draft fashion knowledge

[Larry Brown Sports]: So, who’s going third in the NBA Draft?

[]: Vince McMahon was almost killed during RAW. No, for real this time!

[Bleacher Report]: Is it really possible to hate anything about college football?

[Can’t Stop The Bleeding]: Don Imus will never learn his lesson

[]: Top 30 porn names in Major League Baseball

[]: “On today’s episode of Will It Blend?: A baseball!”

[]: Jesse Taylor talks about being a total douche

[]: Dude #1: “Dude, wanna skateboard from Chicago to New York?”
Dude #2: “Dude, totally!”

[]: Wait, did you just say “crap cannon?”

And finally, from Tirico Suave (via Busted Coverage), quite possibly the funniest video of all-time.

Chicago Cubs

Ron Zook is tone deaf

If there is such thing as a good rendition of “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” then we’ve never heard it. You could stick anyone from Ashlee Simpson to Frank Sinatra behind the microphone and it would still sound like crap. Needless to say, if you throw someone like Ron Zook behind the mic then you’re really in trouble.

College Football

Bob Stoops set to earn $6 million, despite being Mr. Unclutch

Bob Stoops is in hog heaven right now. At the end of this year, Stoops will complete his 10th season of service for the Oklahoma Sooners which means he’s about to get paid – big time! Stoops is going to collect a one-time bonus of $3 million on New Year’s Eve for the decade of work, which combined with his $2.77 million salary for the year means Stoops will bring home close to $6 million this year (including performance bonuses). Good investment? Athletic director Joe Castiglione sure seems to think so.

People may question why we do certain things,” Castiglione said. “But we can measure his impact, not just with success on the field, but the way our team generates interest and excitement because of the leadership of the head coach. He positively affects so many elements of the athletic program, campus community and the state — you could talk about it from the infusion of excitement to the economic impact.”

“Bob Stoops is worth every penny and always has been and always will be.

We see where Castiglione is going with this and it makes complete sense. There’s no doubt that the guy generates tons of revenue for the university, but we’re football fans, all we care about is wins and losses, so we have a slightly different view on the coach. Stoops is an excellent coach, there is no questioning that, but let’s take a quick look at his track record. Sure, he only has 17 losses compared to 90 wins, but it’s not the number of losses but rather who the losses are to.

His first season at OU, he went 7-5. We’ll let that one completely slide by. In 2000, he won the National Championship, so bravo coach. Then in 2001, things start getting interesting.

2001 – #4 Sooners lose to unranked Oklahoma State at home in season finale
2002 – #1 Sooners lose to unranked Texas A&M on the road then #3 Sooners lose to Oklahoma State on the road
2003 – #1 Sooners lose to #13 Kansas State in Big 12 Championship, followed by #3 Sooners loss to #2 LSU in National Championship
2004 – #2 Sooners lose big, 55-19, to #1 USC in National Championship
2005 – #7 Sooners lose season opener to unranked TCU in Norman, #21 Sooners lose to unranked UCLA, unranked Sooners lose to rival Texas and then go on to lose to Texas Tech
2006 – #15 Sooners lose to #18 Oregon, #14 Sooners lose second straight to Texas, #7 Sooners get shocked by #9 Boise State in the Fiesta Bowl
2007 – #3 Sooners lose to unranked Colorado, #3 Sooners lose to unranked Texas Tech and #3 Sooners close the season by losing to West Virginia in the Fiesta Bowl

All we’re saying is if someone is going to get a huge bonus, they can not lose even half the games listed above. Still, from a big-picture perspective, it was probably a smart investment by Oklahoma.

And let’s not forget the big man’s perks.

In addition, Stoops is also provided with
*2 automobiles with insurance

*35 hours annually of private airplane use

*Membership and monthly dues at a Norman-area golf course

*20 football tickets

As a side note, if you’re in the mood to make yourself feel like total crap today then just check out the Bob Stoops salary calculator.


[]: Bob Stoops is the six million-dollar man…after bonuses, that is

NFL General

Forget everything that happened ON the field in the NFL, we’re talking `bout talking

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: we loves us some soundbites!

College Football

Call us crazy, but we’re guessing the people in purple and yellow are picking LSU

In case you didn’t know, the BCS National Championship game between LSU and THE Ohio State University goes down tonight and with the biggest prize in college football on the line, there should be a whole lot of head banging going in Louisiana. So, who’s going to win the big game? If you really want to know the answer to that question, don’t listen to the knuckleheads on TV or the monkeys pounding away at their keyboards. You gotta turn to the passionate rabble patiently waiting in the streets for kickoff to come around. Just don’t expect any hard-hitting analysis from people wearing tiger-striped purple pimp suits.

College Football

Seriously ESPN, what is the point?

If you thought that ESPN‘s stupid “Who’s Now” filler segments were a complete and utter waste of your time then hold on tight because the mothership is basically throwing three minutes of every SportsCenter telecast straight down the toilet. Introducing the totally useless ESPNU Championship Series.

Kirk Herbstreit: “We’re going to move USC into the next round to play LSU.”

Lee Corso: “Ohhhh, that’ll be a good one.”

Herbstreit: “That should be a very good game.”

Actually guys, it won’t be a good game because your system isn’t real!!!

Does America want a playoff? Hell yes! Is America going to be satisfied with a hypothetical scenario that could possibly allow for Hawaii to win a national championship as a play-in? Hell no!

People that tune into SportsCenter, those who still do, want analysis, recaps and even an occasional prediction. However, what they don’t want is to be treated like fools who are supposed to actually care if Lee Corso believes Kansas could be the sleeper of a fake playoff series!

Living with the horribly unfair BCS system is way better than trying to breakdown imaginary matchups for some imaginary title. Why don’t you guys make yourself useful and simulate the Orange Bowl on NCAA Football 07 so we know who to put our money on.