Categories
College Football

Odds and Ends: Desmond Howard now has the second most famous Heisman pose

As soon as we saw this picture of Tim Tebow, we knew we had to post it. After all, could anything be better than a photograph of the only sophomore to ever win the Heisman Trophy breaking out “the pose” with a baby in hand while wearing a pair of Florida Gators colored Crocs. Simply put, no. Thanks, Busted Coverage.

In other news…

[FanHouse.com]: Slump Buster is back with a whole new look

[FantasyBasketballDaily.com]: We gotta agree, Jose Calderon is poised for another breakout season

[Awful Announcing]: Here’s one way to get your kid addicted to alcohol at an early age

[PhillyBurbs.com]: Bret Hart is a prick

[BleedEaglesGreen.com]: Sorry, Tony Romo, but you’re not in this guy’s Fave 5 (or 10)

[NFL.com]: L.A.’s wait continues

[HoopsWorld.com]: The Clips put Shaun Livingston out to pasture

[The700Level.com]: It’s hard to be professional when Alyssa Milano is in the booth

[The Caveman Network]: Chris Duhon?!?! Hey, Plaschke, you do know who Chris Duhon is, right?

[MMA Chump]: Daaaaaaaaaamn, Gina!!

And finally, from Tirico Suave, we give you the Official Mr. Belvedere Fun Kit.

Categories
Arizona Diamondbacks

Odds and Ends: More testicle news than you can stuff in a sack


Awful Announcing brought our attention to a peak and our breakfast back into our mouths when they relayed a story from ABC News concerning what lies ahead for Diamondbacks catcher Chris Snyder and his recently fractured testicle. Here are some of the chilling details.

“I don’t think [Synder will] have a difficult time with it,” he [Jack Llewellyn] said. “With catchers it’s a little bit of a different situation, because catchers are usually perceived as the more rugged guys on a team. They’re used to being hit by foul tips.”

Still, a testicular fracture is not something that is easily shaken off. In simple terms, a testicular fracture involves a “crack” in the testicle; the organ retains its shape, but it is damaged. Though different from a testicular rupture, which involves a complete hemorrhage of the testicle, a fracture in this delicate organ can be extraordinarily painful — and may even require surgery, in many cases.

“It is indeed extraordinarily painful,” said Dr. Mark Litwin, professor of urology and public health at the University of California at Los Angeles. Litwin adds that the natural vulnerability of testicles is “one of these anatomical curiosities med students never understand.”

“The placement of ovaries makes sense. … [Testicles] are in the worst place you could put them. They really are in harm’s way.”

Hey, Doc, you don’t need to tell wrestler D.J. St. James about that.

St. James was a freshman wrestler competing at a high school tournament six years ago. During one match, he was performing a single leg takedown on his opponent when he sustained a sudden and surprising injury.

“When he fell down, his foot came up between my legs,” St. James said. “His foot exploded my testicle.”

St. James didn’t realize the extent of his injury at first. He finished the match with a victory. But the seriousness of the situation soon hit.

“After I walked off the mat, I fell to the ground when I felt the pain,” he recalled. “I can’t describe how much it hurt. … It swelled up bigger than my fist.”

Sweet.

In other news…

[Sports Crackle Pop]: We got two words for ya: Drunk referee

[JarrettCarter.com]: High school basketball players strike back

[OnlineSportsFanatic.com]: NCAA football is right around the corner…NCAA Football 09, that is

[MMA Chump]: Forrest Griffin and Rampage Jackson get suspended following UFC 86

[Grab Your Balls]: Kevin Durant might be a Thundercat. Snarf, snarf!

[NewsOK.com]: Michael Vick’s exact opposite

[Lion in Oil]: What do the sons of Wayne Gretzky, Joe Montana and Will Smith have in common? The gridiron, of course

[The Angry T]: So much money and, yet, such horrible taste in ink

[People.com]: Tony Romo is soooo whipped

[Tirico Suave]: Real life Tony Soprano waves Jeter home

And finally, a day at the beach with a sweet voice-over.

See morefunny videosand funny pictureson CollegeHumor
Categories
Seattle Mariners

Odds and Ends: John McLaren is (bleeped) off, ready to bust (bleep)

John McLaren exploded in the Mariners post game press conference and by now you’ve probably already heard or seen the clip on your favorite local television station, but the profanity is so much more impressive in print.

“We’re playing our (bleep) off every day and got nothing to show for it. I’m tired of (bleeping) losing, I’m tired of getting my (bleep) beat, and so have those guys. We gotta change this (bleeping bleep) around and get after it. And only we can do it. The fans are (bleeped) off, and I’m (bleeped) off, and the players are (bleeped) off. And that’s the way it is. There’s no (bleeping) easy way out of this, can’t feel sorry for ourself, we gotta (bleeping) buckle it up and get after it. I’m tired of (bleep) losing this, (bleeping) every night we bust our (bleep). It’s gotta be a total team (bleeping) effort to turn this thing around, and that’s it.”

In other news…

[SawxBlog]: Future chart topper: the MoMannyMoneyMix

[Sports Crackle Pop]: Get your Vanessa Curry masks while they last

[Women Like Sports]: A lady’s view on the NHL and NBA Finals

[Your Face is a Sports Blog]: RBI Baseball – possibly the greatest video game of all time – is coming back, back, back!

[BasRutten.com]: The Bas gives his two cents about the Kimbo Slice/James Thompson controversy

[phillyBurbs.com]: The Donald gets into the fight game

[UsMagazine.com]: Pappa Joe is driving Tony Romo bat-crap crazy

[NYDailyNews.com]: Big Brown has big prizes waiting for him in the winner’s circle

[Eric Wilbur’s Sports Blog]: More Lakers/Celtics videos than you can stomach

And finally, what could be better than a nice relaxing day at the waterpark?

Categories
Dallas Cowboys

Tony Romo chokes under pressure once again

Tony Romo joined the ever-growing list of Chicago’s infamous vocal villains when he attempted to sing “Take Me Out To the Ball Game” at a Cubs game. Fortunately, for the eardrums of those in attendance, unlike Ozzy Osborne, Eddie Vedder and William Hung (not in Chicago, but still equally gut-wrenching), Romo pretty much gave up after “Take me out to the crowd.”

Wonder if maybe the choke job had something to do with his warm reception from the Cubbies faithful. Considering he’s dating Jessica Simpson, you’d figure her kid sister would have given him some pointers about performing in front of a brutally honest crowd. Remember the Orange Bowl?

Categories
Dallas Cowboys

Tony Romo learns from Nick Lachey’s mistake


Dallas Cowboys fans can exhale. While the curse of Jessica Simpson is still alive and well in Big D, Tony Romo made it perfectly clear there are no wedding bells currently ringing in his head.

I mean, it’s just rumors. That’s what people say,” the Dallas Cowboys quarterback, 27, told PEOPLE at Monday’s Cosmopolitan Fun Fearless Male of the Year Awards – where he was honored alongside Simpson’s ex John Mayer and rumored former boyfriend Dane Cook. (“I guess you date Jessica Simpson, that makes you fearless!” Romo joked.)

But will there be marriage in Romo’s future?

“I’m sure I’ll get married one day. I don’t know when,” he says.

Did you notice that? Tony said, “I’m sure I’ll get married one day;” not we’ll get married one day. It’s a very subtle difference, but Romo’s a professional play caller; he’s a master at sliding in the hidden yet intentional nuances. From our point of view, that means things are defiantly looking up Dallas.

Links:

[People.com]: Tony Romo: Jessica & I Are Not Engaged

Categories
Dallas Cowboys

Even after his post season debacles, everyone wants to be Tony Romo


People love to hate the guy, but somehow Tony Romo wound up with the top-selling NFL jersey from April 1, 2007, until last Friday. Now, we know that Cowboy fans bought them by the bushel and Jessica Simpson and Terrell Owens were good for a couple apiece, but we didn’t realize Romo could sell more than Tom Brady, Peyton Manning and Brett Favre. Of course, we didn’t realize Burger King slightly overcharged us for our nightly combo meals either.

Here are the rest of the top 10 jerseys. Now go make fun of every grown man you seeing wearing one.

1. Tony Romo, Dallas Cowboys

2. Tom Brady, New England Patriots

3. Brett Favre, Green Bay Packers

4. Peyton Manning, Indianapolis Colts

5. LaDainian Tomlinson, San Diego Chargers

6. Adrian Peterson, Minnesota Vikings

7. Eli Manning, New York Giants

8. Randy Moss, New England Patriots

9. Brian Urlacher, Chicago Bears

10. Troy Polamalu, Pittsburgh Steelers

The biggest shocker of the list comes in at No. 17 where Brady Quinn resides, right between the Cowboys Jason Witten and the late Sean Taylor. Derek Anderson has got to feel like crap when he looks at that.

Links:

[CNBC.com]: NFL’s Best Selling Jerseys–1 Through 20

Categories
Dallas Cowboys

Take 8 seconds or so to reflect on the Cowboys season

A lot happened to the Dallas Cowboys this season. You might not have noticed everything that went down considering the Patriots run to perfection and Brett Favre’s resurrection had the media all a twitter for the majority of the year. Luckily, somebody went through the painstaking effort of chronicling the Boys race to disappointment so you wouldn’t miss a second.

Excellent work, but how could you leave out Kool Moe Dee Terrell Owens saying “That’s my quarterback“?

Categories
Dallas Cowboys

Bitter Cowboys fans might be able to blame Joe, not Jessica, Simpson for pre-playoff distractions


Now that the Cowboys are eliminated from the postseason, we probably don’t need to concern ourselves with the Tony Romo/Jessica Simpson romance anymore, but that damn trip to Cabo just won’t seem to go away. The talk leading into the Cowboys game versus the Giants revolved around a series of photographs showing Romo, Jessica and Poppa Joe Simpson relaxing in the sun, but according to NYDailyNews.com, it didn’t have to be that way.

Joe is well-known for his deals with the paparazzi, where the family gets a cut from the sales of the photographs,” says an insider.

“Nobody would have known that Tony was down in Mexico with Jessica if there hadn’t been those pictures everywhere. So a lot of people suspect he tipped off the photographers, causing Tony this huge headache.

While it’s difficult to say that a bye-week vacation took a toll on Romo’s preparation, it is certainly possible that the media firestorm surrounding the QB back in Dallas could have been a distraction. So, if the report is true, Cowboys fans owe Jessica and apology and her old man a beatdown. After all, what happens behind closed doors stays behind closed doors unless your girlfriend’s money-hungry father gives the paparazzi a key.

When you date Jessica, you date Joe, too,” says the source.

Simpson’s rep said Monday: “Joe would never sell out his daughter to the media and would never do anything to hurt his own family or for that matter, Tony. This is categorically false.

Links:

[NYDailyNews.com]: Did Jessica Simpson’s dad blitz Romo?

Categories
Dallas Cowboys

Like Nick Lachey, Terrell Owens tells Jessica Simpson to get lost


If you thought Tony Romo was disappointed in his poor performance in front of his honey, then just wait until you hear how disappointed his teammates were. As if the Cowboys hadn’t already begun to eat their own when camera crews started broadcasting reactions to Roy Williams `horse-collar’ suspension, now we got Terrell Owens telling Jessica Simpson to beat it.

Right now, Jessica Simpson is not a fan favorite – in this locker room or in Texas Stadium,” Owens said Wednesday.

The Cowboys lost 10-6 to the Philadelphia Eagles and Romo had what was statistically the worst game of his career, all while Simpson sat in a luxury box wearing a pink No. 9 jersey she proudly showed off for television cameras.

The problem for her is, Romo’s previous worst game came last December at home to the Eagles when then-girlfriend Carrie Underwood was in attendance.

“With everything that has happened, obviously with the way Tony played and the comparison between her and Carrie Underwood, I think a lot of people feel she has taken his focus away,” Owens said, echoing the chatter on sports-talk radio and blogs. “Other than that, she was high on my list until last week.

“Oh, I got a message for her when we make the playoffs. Just stay tuned.

All this Jessica Simpson stuff has gotten out of hand. Girlfriends and wives are in the stands every game and we’re not slamming other players’ pitiful contributions to the fact their woman was in the bleachers. Romo stunk it up and that’s the end of the story. If Jessica doesn’t show up to the next game and Romo sucks even worse, is everyone going to start clamoring for her return a luxury box?

We’re just saying that we should keep the incidents separated. Why do we have to play connect the dots with everything that happens in sports? Let’s just keep our Tony Romo’s bad game insults over here and our Jessica Simpson’s big boobs and horse face insults over there and call it a day.

Links:

[WJZ.com]: T.O. To Jessica Simpson: Stay Away

Categories
General Sports

Snoop Dogg and Tony Romo are exactly alike. What? You don’t see it?

We thought ESPN had totally lost its marbles when they started trying to compare the current Celtics with the 72-win, Michael Jordan led Bulls of 1995-96. Well, Shady Acres is prepared to admit the entire Bristol bunch after Countdown aired a piece on how Tony Romo and Snoop Dogg are cut from the same cloth. We’d like to think this was a joke, but the evaluation is earnest (for the most part). No Kenny Mayne in sight.

Tune in next week to see the crew’s piece on the unbelievable parallels between the lives of Ray Lewis and Weird Al Yankovic.

And since we brought up “weird” and “Ray Lewis”, here’s video of Phil Dawson’s 51-yard field goal attempt giving the Baltimore uprights a pole dance.

That ending was almost as confusing as Emmitt Smith’s player analysis.

Links:

[Awful Announcing]: Ask Him, Ask Them, They All Know About Silky Slim
[Awful Announcing]: Cleveland’s Kicker Phil Dawson Is A Magician