Tag: mma

Categories
New York Yankees

Odds and Ends: This whole Alex Rodriguez sex scandal could have easily been avoided

Athletes and infidelity go together like peanut butter and jelly or like athletes and hookers. They’re simply made for each other, but that doesn’t mean that the cheating has to become public. According to BlackSportsOnline.com, an athlete doesn’t have to keep it in their pants in order to keep their name out of the paper. Simply following this list of The 10 Bona Fide Commandments For The Cheating Athlete should be more than enough.

I- IF THOU SHALL WIFE HER, THOU BETTER MAKE SURE SHE DOESN’T CARE IF YOU CHEAT.

II- THOU SHALL ALWAYS HAVE A PRENUP.

III- THOU SHALL NOT CARE IF WIFEY CHEATS ON YOU.

IV- THOU SHALL ALWAYS REMEMBER IT IS CHEAPER TO KEEP HER.

V- THOU SHALL NEVER SLEEP WITH ANYONE IN COLORADO NOR ANYONE NAMED KATIE WITH A JOURNALISM DEGREE, EVEN FROM A COMMUNITY COLLEGE.

VI- THOU SHALL NEVER CHEAT WITH AN OBSESSED FAN.

VII- THOU SHALL REMEMBER CONDOMS COST $8 A BOX AS OPPOSED TO 25% OF YOUR GROSS INCOME GOING TO CHILD SUPPORT.

VIII- THOU SHALL REMEMBER THEY ARE STRIPPERS AND PROSTITUTES FOR A REASON.

IX- THOU SHALL NOT CHEAT WITH CELEBRITIES.

X- THOU SHALL TREAT BOTH YOUR “SIDE-PIECE” & YOUR WIFE LIKE A QUEEN.

Learn it. Memorize it. Live by it.

In other news…

[Tirico Suave]: Kerry Collins stars in “God Dammit”

[Kissing Suzy Kolber]: Peter King stars in “Peter King Needs A Latte”

[Heavy.com]: Top 10 old school WWF wrestlers

[Gossip Girls]: Kim Kardashian might be on Dancing With the Stars. Schwing

[Deuce of Davenport]: Crazy-ass NFL merchandise, including the “creepiest sleeping bag ever”

[All Balls]: Just follow the bouncing boobs. Oh, god, we mean breasts. Uh, err, no, balls; wait, ball. Yea, that’s it; just follow the bouncing boobs. Dammit

[Rear Naked News]: Michael Bisping might have a death wish

[NE Patriots Draft]: More of Brett Favre this…

[StarTribune.com]: And more of Brett Favre that

[The Associated Press]: Congratulations on becoming the drunkest guy ever, Mr. 0.491 Percent Blood Alcohol Level

[The City of Champions]: The ol `Take off your shirt so we can get a picture of you and Photoshop it onto the cover of a gay porn rag’ trick gets `em every time

[The Redshirt Senior]: College pigskin’s top 10 lids

[Storming the Floor]: Texas set to retire Kevin Durant’s jersey. Sure, it was one heckuva season, but, damn!

[LAist.com]: UCLA is soooo totally ass-some

[Banned In Hollywood]: What? Allison’s back?? Quick, how’s our hair?

[FunnyOrDie.com]: Handsome + Me + Funny = Host

[SlashFilm.com]: Can you believe The Big Lebowski is already 10 years old?! Our baby’s growing up so quickly

And finally, when “Haha, now you’re dead!” is the absolute best you can do, these are the guys to call on.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.
Categories
All Other Sports

Anderson Silva is officially the king of MMA

If anyone out there was foolish enough to doubt the power of Anderson Silva, they got a serious wakeup call on Saturday night upon witnessing the Spider step up in weight and waste James Irvin is about a minute.

Hey! Was that Mandy Moore?? We were distracted by the gigantic cut under Irvin’s eye and this wicked knockout.

Categories
College Football

Odds and Ends: Desmond Howard now has the second most famous Heisman pose

As soon as we saw this picture of Tim Tebow, we knew we had to post it. After all, could anything be better than a photograph of the only sophomore to ever win the Heisman Trophy breaking out “the pose” with a baby in hand while wearing a pair of Florida Gators colored Crocs. Simply put, no. Thanks, Busted Coverage.

In other news…

[FanHouse.com]: Slump Buster is back with a whole new look

[FantasyBasketballDaily.com]: We gotta agree, Jose Calderon is poised for another breakout season

[Awful Announcing]: Here’s one way to get your kid addicted to alcohol at an early age

[PhillyBurbs.com]: Bret Hart is a prick

[BleedEaglesGreen.com]: Sorry, Tony Romo, but you’re not in this guy’s Fave 5 (or 10)

[NFL.com]: L.A.’s wait continues

[HoopsWorld.com]: The Clips put Shaun Livingston out to pasture

[The700Level.com]: It’s hard to be professional when Alyssa Milano is in the booth

[The Caveman Network]: Chris Duhon?!?! Hey, Plaschke, you do know who Chris Duhon is, right?

[MMA Chump]: Daaaaaaaaaamn, Gina!!

And finally, from Tirico Suave, we give you the Official Mr. Belvedere Fun Kit.

Categories
New York Yankees

Odds and Ends: "Ball game over! The cake is tainted! Theeeeeeeeeeeeee cake is tainted!"

If you think double-dipping is disgusting then what about finger-dipping? You know, when someone sticks their finger in something, sucks it clean and then walks away. Like Puck and the peanut butter back when The Real World was actually worth watching. Well, according to the New York Post, if you happen to work in the same stadium as Yankees radio announcer John Sterling then you might want to get a vomit bucket ready.

“Sterling has made a habit of walking over to the dessert table and dipping his finger into the ice cream barrel,” one stadium worker told us, adding that the play-by-play vet has also used the same tablespoon to repeatedly take samples. During the Boston series, “He wandered over to the cake and pie section, broke off a piece of a cake slice, ate it and wiped his grimy hands on the linen tablecloth, leaving the remainder of the slice for someone else to eat – which indeed happened,” our spy continued.

Ewwwww. Kid Rock and Tommy Lee won’t even touch those sloppy seconds.

In other news…

[BostonSportz.com]: Even NFL coaches think Tom Brady is hot catch

[FightChat.com]: Need inspiration to become a MMA superstar? Well, here’s the caliber of chicks you could bang

[NBA.com]: Its official! Suck on that Seattle!

[PerezHilton.com]: For once, we agree with Mr. Rainbow Bright

[BooshMagazine.com]: It’s time to play everybody’s favorite game: Legal or Olympic Jailbait!

[The Wall Street Journal]: The NBA mines New Delhi for talent

[FightChat.com]: 16 MMA knockouts in the blink of an eye

[Babble.com]: A-Rod loves him some strippers

[NFLJuice.com]: We like big butts and we cannot lie…

[Tirico Suave]: Go, go, Power Plaschke!

And finally, this is why you always, always, always lock up your lightsaber.

Categories
All Other Sports

Arkansas, you just got Punk’d!

There’s cage fighting and then there’s gay fighting and rarely do the two ever mix. But gay-cage fighting is exactly what a crowd of Little Rock spectators got when they showed up to an event called “Blue Collar Brawlin” back on June 5 which was actually an elaborate gag for Sacha Baron Cohen’s new film entitled Bruno.

Crowds in Arkansas came for the lure of cage fighting and $1 beer, but police say what they got instead was men ripping each others’ clothes off and kissing — a stunt suspected of being orchestrated by Sacha Baron Cohen of Borat fame. …

Fort Smith police Sgt. Adam Holland said organizers told him a character named “Straight Dave” would goad a planted audience member into the ring for a fight.

The two men would then wrestle, rip away some of their clothes and share a brief kiss reminiscent of one between Baron Cohen and Will Ferrell in the film Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby.

Producers said “there would be a romantic embrace,” Holland said. “They said it was kind of to essentially make fun, poke fun at wrestling — two guys rolling around on the floor, all sweaty.”

An elaborate array of mounted and handheld video cameras caught the crowd of 1,600’s reaction as the two men “went right up to the line” of the city’s morality laws, Holland said. The two men stripped down to their underwear, kissed and rubbed on each other, the sergeant said.

The audience, as well as local fighters drawn to take part in the show, became enraged. “It set the crowd off lobbing beers,” Holland said. “They had beers in plastic cups. Those things can get some distance on them actually.”

Holland said it took officers about 45 minutes to clear the convention center, as the two actors sprinted away through a specially set-aside tunnel.

So, the fight wasn’t real; big deal. According to Lyoto Machida, neither was the Forrest Griffin-Rampage Griffin fight.

Links:

[GlobeAndMail.com]: Arkansas fight fans fall for Baron Cohen stunt

Categories
Detroit Tigers

Odds and Ends: Damn, baby, what did you do to your logo?!

There are so many horrible logos in the world of sports that we could probably establish an entire hall of shame for the goofy designs. But that would take more effort to create than actually went into the logos themselves and that just doesn’t seem right to us. Luckily, we can eliminate about 4,000 disasters right off the bat because the fellas over at InventorSpot.com came up with The Top 10 Worst Sports Logos.

10. New York Jets (2002-present)

9. Portland Trail Blazers (Too long)

8. Boston Red Sox (1950-1959)

7. Cleveland Browns (1950-1959)

6. New York Islanders (1995-1997)

5. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1976-1996)

4. Denver Nuggets (1982-1993)

3. Chicago Cubs (1916)

2. Anaheim Mighty Ducks (1996)

1. Detroit Tigers (1927-1928)

We’d also like to submit the new Tampa Bay logo for consideration.

In other news…

[The Victoria Times]: “Hey, we’re not fat! We’re just big boned!”

[Cousins of Ron Mexico]: Dale Earnhardt Jr. is a big mofo! Scratch that, it’s just Big Mo’.

[East Coast Bias]: Greatest tennis match ever? Hell yeah, it was!

[Mr. Irrelevant]: John McEnroe agrees with us, but we didn’t get to hug Roger Federer

[YouTube.com]: Dude, shut the hell up!

[Bleacher Report]: Sorry, but there’s no love for the 1985-88 Miami Hurricanes football team

[Lion in Oil]: It’s still not too late to win an opportunity to make Adam Morrison cry

[MMAImpact.com]: Melvin Guillard must not get paid by the hour

[JoeSportsFan.com]: First, a man gets pregnant and now this

[MediaTakeOut.com]: Shhhh, Shaq’s sleeping

And finally, Tiger Woods introduced the world to Cablinasians. Unfortunately, Blasians wound up with this spaz.

Categories
College Football

Contagious viral videos worth catching

Whenever we’re in the mood for stupid videos, there’s only one place we turn to and that’s StupidVideos.com. Duh! Anyways, we found a goldmine of stupidity/hilarity when we paid our most recent visit. First, we’ve got one of the sickest submissions you’ll ever see in a mixed martial arts competition.

Let’s see Rampage or Forrest Griffin do that on Saturday night.

Next up, is a video of a horse attempting a back flip.

Wait, did we say attempting a back flip? Sorry, we meant to say attempting to commit murder on its jockey.

Bonus Giggles: Peaches needs an intervention.

Links:

[StupidVideos.com]: Home

Categories
LA Lakers

Odds and Ends: Goggles, it’s a Lakers thing

As kids, if you wore glasses then you were probably going to get made fun of. That’s just one of the many sad facts of childhood. However, once kids get older and mature, they realize that making insulting comments about someone’s appearance is ridiculously petty…except in sports. So, here’s On Deck Sports list of the Top 5 Goggled Athletes. Just get a load of these four-eyed freaks.

5. Kurt Rambis

4. James Worthy

3. Horace Grant

2. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

1. Chris Sabo

And let’s not forget about Dwyane Wade who has the thickest set of beer goggles we’ve ever seen on a pro athlete.

In other news…

[The World of Isaac]: Vince Young fails the NBA Wonderlic Test

[MensVogue.com]: Tom Brady and David Beckham are sexy. We get it already!

[FanHouse]: John Daly and Kid Rock go together like cigarettes and strip clubs

[MMARated.com]: Gina Carano talks about being a female badass

[PostingAndToasting.com]: Renaldo Balkman’s New York Knickmobile

[Hugging Harry Reynolds]: Star Wars Sports, starring Eric Mangino as Jabba the Hut

[YouTube.com]: Watch out, the Ax Murderer has a blade!…And he’s shaving another man with it??? WTF?!

And finally, skateboards finally get a small measure of revenge against humans for years of abuse.

Categories
Golf

Odds and Ends: Retief Goosen calls Tiger a faker

The entire nation was practically pulling for Tiger Woods last weekend when he was playing in agony with a bum wheel last weekend at the U.S. Open. Well, almost the entire nation. Turns out that Retief Goosen thinks the Oscar for worst acting should have gone to Tiger.

“It just seemed when he hit bad shots his knee was in pain and on his good shots he wasn’t.”

Asked if he felt Woods could have been faking it, Goosen said: “I think so.”

“You see when he made the putts and he went down on his knees and shouting `yeah’, his knee wasn’t sore. Nobody knows if he was just showing off or if he was really injured, and I believe if he was injured he would not have played. But it was a great win.”

I like Goosen’s I think the sonofabitch faked the whole thing but it was a great win approach. Slam a guy and then clean it up with a throwaway compliment. When pressed about his comments Retief said he was just kidding.. Sort of.

“I was being light-hearted.”

“No one but Tiger knows how badly hurt he was. But if he was really badly hurt, he would have withdrawn wouldn’t he?”

In other news…

[HotStoveNewYork.com]: You got your ring, now scram!

[Answer this…]: NASCAR officials are racists and sexists…no way!

[The Sports Muffin]: List of the top 10 MMA fighters. Sorry, Jesse Taylor didn’t make the cut

[HeismanPundit.com]: Who Won’t Win The Heisman

[LGTexter.com]: Move over competitive eaters, you have some serious competition in the dork department

[Comcast.net]: Moustache mania

[eBay]: Moustache mania part deux

[eTrueSports.com]: New York’s newest power couple

[Cuzoogle.com]: 10 Wheaties boxes you will never see

[The Legend of Cecilio Guante]: Somehow, Man-Ram didn’t make the MLB’s All-Crazy Team

And finally, we bring you the story of a defective thong.

A Los Angeles woman claims she was injured by her Victoria’s Secret thong, prompting her to sue the underwear manufacturer.

The plaintiff in the case, Macrida Patterson, 52, attributed the May 2007 injury to a Victoria’s Secret “low-rise v-string,” according to a court document posted on The Smoking Gun.

Patterson’s lawyer told The Smoking Gun that a “design problem” caused a decorative metallic piece on the underwear to fly up and hit Patterson in the eye while she was putting the underwear on.

Patterson’s product liability lawsuit was filed in Los Angeles Superior Court last week.

The Smoking Gun reported that, prior to the lawsuit, officials from Victoria’s Secret had asked to see the offending underwear but were refused by Patterson’s lawyer.

Categories
All Other Sports

Pint-sized karate kid wins the hearts of MMA fans

We love MMA. After all, there is nothing better than watching a fight and anticipating that special moment when one grown man delivers a vicious knockout blow to another grown man. Check that, we just found something better: kid KOs.

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor