Tag: ucla

Categories
New York Yankees

Odds and Ends: This whole Alex Rodriguez sex scandal could have easily been avoided

Athletes and infidelity go together like peanut butter and jelly or like athletes and hookers. They’re simply made for each other, but that doesn’t mean that the cheating has to become public. According to BlackSportsOnline.com, an athlete doesn’t have to keep it in their pants in order to keep their name out of the paper. Simply following this list of The 10 Bona Fide Commandments For The Cheating Athlete should be more than enough.

I- IF THOU SHALL WIFE HER, THOU BETTER MAKE SURE SHE DOESN’T CARE IF YOU CHEAT.

II- THOU SHALL ALWAYS HAVE A PRENUP.

III- THOU SHALL NOT CARE IF WIFEY CHEATS ON YOU.

IV- THOU SHALL ALWAYS REMEMBER IT IS CHEAPER TO KEEP HER.

V- THOU SHALL NEVER SLEEP WITH ANYONE IN COLORADO NOR ANYONE NAMED KATIE WITH A JOURNALISM DEGREE, EVEN FROM A COMMUNITY COLLEGE.

VI- THOU SHALL NEVER CHEAT WITH AN OBSESSED FAN.

VII- THOU SHALL REMEMBER CONDOMS COST $8 A BOX AS OPPOSED TO 25% OF YOUR GROSS INCOME GOING TO CHILD SUPPORT.

VIII- THOU SHALL REMEMBER THEY ARE STRIPPERS AND PROSTITUTES FOR A REASON.

IX- THOU SHALL NOT CHEAT WITH CELEBRITIES.

X- THOU SHALL TREAT BOTH YOUR “SIDE-PIECE” & YOUR WIFE LIKE A QUEEN.

Learn it. Memorize it. Live by it.

In other news…

[Tirico Suave]: Kerry Collins stars in “God Dammit”

[Kissing Suzy Kolber]: Peter King stars in “Peter King Needs A Latte”

[Heavy.com]: Top 10 old school WWF wrestlers

[Gossip Girls]: Kim Kardashian might be on Dancing With the Stars. Schwing

[Deuce of Davenport]: Crazy-ass NFL merchandise, including the “creepiest sleeping bag ever”

[All Balls]: Just follow the bouncing boobs. Oh, god, we mean breasts. Uh, err, no, balls; wait, ball. Yea, that’s it; just follow the bouncing boobs. Dammit

[Rear Naked News]: Michael Bisping might have a death wish

[NE Patriots Draft]: More of Brett Favre this…

[StarTribune.com]: And more of Brett Favre that

[The Associated Press]: Congratulations on becoming the drunkest guy ever, Mr. 0.491 Percent Blood Alcohol Level

[The City of Champions]: The ol `Take off your shirt so we can get a picture of you and Photoshop it onto the cover of a gay porn rag’ trick gets `em every time

[The Redshirt Senior]: College pigskin’s top 10 lids

[Storming the Floor]: Texas set to retire Kevin Durant’s jersey. Sure, it was one heckuva season, but, damn!

[LAist.com]: UCLA is soooo totally ass-some

[Banned In Hollywood]: What? Allison’s back?? Quick, how’s our hair?

[FunnyOrDie.com]: Handsome + Me + Funny = Host

[SlashFilm.com]: Can you believe The Big Lebowski is already 10 years old?! Our baby’s growing up so quickly

And finally, when “Haha, now you’re dead!” is the absolute best you can do, these are the guys to call on.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.
Categories
College Football

Ryan Mallett’s mom says don’t believe the hype


Now that Lloyd Carr is retired and the excitement surrounding his final bowl game has died, the Michigan football program can finally return to normal. Well, maybe not. After all, now it’s time to talk transition, as in transitioning into the Rich Rodriguez era; an era Ryan Mallett probably wishes wouldn’t have started.

Mallett is now at the center of a quarterback controversy nine months before the 2008 season gets underway. Rodriguez is expected to bring his mobile QB system that helped make Pat White a Heisman hopeful to the blue and maize and is reportedly actively recruiting Terrelle Pryor, who many consider to be the next Vince Young. The uncertainty has many speculating that Mallet is contemplating jumping ship, heading for greener pastures where he can be the undisputed starter. Of course, if you really want to know what is going on in Mallett’s head then you can’t trust a stinkin’ newspaper or website. You gotta ask Mallett himself, or at least his mom.

No decision has been made,” Debbie Mallett said Thursday night of her son, the freshman quarterback — currently — at Michigan.

“Everybody thinks they know what Ryan’s doing. But Ryan has not made a decision yet. All these sources? They never came from anyone here.”

“He could be at UCLA, he could be somewhere else, he could be at Michigan,” she said. “But when I talked to him (Wednesday) night, he hadn’t made any decisions.”

While she continues to field phone calls from every interested party — her daughter even called Thursday — she’s amazed at the interest.

“He’s not a cure for cancer,” she said of the thousands of fans across the country discussing her son.

Debbie also expects she’ll hear before a reporter or a message board poster — at least she hopes.

“Ryan is my baby,” she said. “I can’t believe he’d call all those people before he tells me. If he does …

We gotta give it to Mark Snyder for having the nuts to write a story about a quarterback and his mom. After all, we all remember what happened the last time someone wrote about a mother and her son, right? Does “Come after me, I’m a man!” ring a bell with anyone?

Links:

[Freep.com]: INDECISION ’08: Ryan Mallett’s mom nixes reports about son’s transfer to UCLA

Categories
College Football

UCLA just lost the rivalry to USC

We’re completely neutral on the whole UCLA vs USC thing they got going on down in SoCal. On the one hand, the Trojans football team and their Song Girls are top notch and always make our day. On the other, UCLA is a better academic school with phenomenal bball cheerleaders and (until last year) basketball dominance.

But this picture from the Wizard of Odds squarely puts us in the USC camp from now on. It’s a goddamn travesty that anyone approved this… this… something with Sanjaya from American Idol in UCLA jersey and dancing in front of a fake 1980s graffiti mural that says UCLA. The look on this kid’s face basically means that no UCLA student or alumni can ever claim to be cool again.

Can the UCLA brass sue for defamation of character? Just look at the mohawk in UCLA colors! If this was our alma mater, we’d be up in arms.

Video of UCLA’s biggest fan after the jump.

Continue reading “UCLA just lost the rivalry to USC”

Categories
NBA General

Bill Walton goes overboard, again

HBO recently produced a documentary on the UCLA Bruins basketball team back in the day when John Wooden was roaming the sideline entitled “The U.C.L.A. Dynasty.” And you can’t even mention the letters UCLA without the Bill Walton chiming in with one of his overly enthusiastic and dramatically drawn out rants about the beauty and grace of the game. Well, would you expect anything less from the Big Red Head as he described his UCLA team in the early 1970’s in the movie?

That ball was put up to decide the fate of Western civilization. The game itself was a celebration of life — such a joyful explosion of youthful enthusiasm, just racing up and down this court, celebrating the dream and the vision, a harmonic convergence of the highest
order.

Yea, OK, Bill; we think you might still be seeing colors and tracers from the typical ingestion of substances that goes along with thousands of Grateful Dead concerts. But, still, the guy is entertaining as hell once you can accept his shtick. Here’s a clip of Walton’s commentary from one of his more memorable games. Enjoy.

Links:

[NY Times]: Lights! Camera! But Where’s the Action at U.C.L.A.?

Categories
College Basketball

Jan 30 in Sports History: UCLA Bruins start streaking



John Wooden

In 1971: UCLA’s basketball team looked to rebound from a tough loss at Notre Dame the week before with a little tune-up against UC Santa Barbara before conference play began. The loss to the Irish ended a 45-game winning streak for the Bruins. Led by Sidney Wicks, UCLA dispatched UCSB 74-61. Then they decided to get serious and win 87 more consecutive games (and three championships). Ironically, the Bruins’ streak would come to an end again at the hands the Irish in South Bend 155 weeks later. Even more ironically (according to a site called referee.com), referee Rich Weiler worked both Notre Dame games. The Bruins’ 88-game winning streak (it could’ve been 133 if Catholics decided not to build a lovely campus in Indiana) will forever be untouched in college basketball.

In 1996: In the only Super Bowl where a player from the opposing team should’ve been given the MVP award, Steelers quarterback Neil O’Donnell “led” the Dallas Cowboys to their third title in five years with two horrendous interceptions in a 27-17 victory in Super Bowl XXX at Arizona’s Sun Devil Stadium. Brown was just sorta standing there, minding his own business and not covering anybody on either play. But O’Donnell insisted on landing him a huge free agent contract by giving Brown the MVP award. Even worse, O’Donnell questioned “which direction” the Steelers were headed that offseason when he landed an even bigger contract with the soon-to-be 1-15 Jets. Karma did the best it could, as Brown only played 14 games the next two years after getting all that money from the Raiders while O’Donnell fizzled out, became a journeyman backup and was not allowed anywhere near the ball during Super Bowl XXXIV with the Titans.