Tag: Tennis

Categories
New York Yankees

Odds and Ends: This whole Alex Rodriguez sex scandal could have easily been avoided

Athletes and infidelity go together like peanut butter and jelly or like athletes and hookers. They’re simply made for each other, but that doesn’t mean that the cheating has to become public. According to BlackSportsOnline.com, an athlete doesn’t have to keep it in their pants in order to keep their name out of the paper. Simply following this list of The 10 Bona Fide Commandments For The Cheating Athlete should be more than enough.

I- IF THOU SHALL WIFE HER, THOU BETTER MAKE SURE SHE DOESN’T CARE IF YOU CHEAT.

II- THOU SHALL ALWAYS HAVE A PRENUP.

III- THOU SHALL NOT CARE IF WIFEY CHEATS ON YOU.

IV- THOU SHALL ALWAYS REMEMBER IT IS CHEAPER TO KEEP HER.

V- THOU SHALL NEVER SLEEP WITH ANYONE IN COLORADO NOR ANYONE NAMED KATIE WITH A JOURNALISM DEGREE, EVEN FROM A COMMUNITY COLLEGE.

VI- THOU SHALL NEVER CHEAT WITH AN OBSESSED FAN.

VII- THOU SHALL REMEMBER CONDOMS COST $8 A BOX AS OPPOSED TO 25% OF YOUR GROSS INCOME GOING TO CHILD SUPPORT.

VIII- THOU SHALL REMEMBER THEY ARE STRIPPERS AND PROSTITUTES FOR A REASON.

IX- THOU SHALL NOT CHEAT WITH CELEBRITIES.

X- THOU SHALL TREAT BOTH YOUR “SIDE-PIECE” & YOUR WIFE LIKE A QUEEN.

Learn it. Memorize it. Live by it.

In other news…

[Tirico Suave]: Kerry Collins stars in “God Dammit”

[Kissing Suzy Kolber]: Peter King stars in “Peter King Needs A Latte”

[Heavy.com]: Top 10 old school WWF wrestlers

[Gossip Girls]: Kim Kardashian might be on Dancing With the Stars. Schwing

[Deuce of Davenport]: Crazy-ass NFL merchandise, including the “creepiest sleeping bag ever”

[All Balls]: Just follow the bouncing boobs. Oh, god, we mean breasts. Uh, err, no, balls; wait, ball. Yea, that’s it; just follow the bouncing boobs. Dammit

[Rear Naked News]: Michael Bisping might have a death wish

[NE Patriots Draft]: More of Brett Favre this…

[StarTribune.com]: And more of Brett Favre that

[The Associated Press]: Congratulations on becoming the drunkest guy ever, Mr. 0.491 Percent Blood Alcohol Level

[The City of Champions]: The ol `Take off your shirt so we can get a picture of you and Photoshop it onto the cover of a gay porn rag’ trick gets `em every time

[The Redshirt Senior]: College pigskin’s top 10 lids

[Storming the Floor]: Texas set to retire Kevin Durant’s jersey. Sure, it was one heckuva season, but, damn!

[LAist.com]: UCLA is soooo totally ass-some

[Banned In Hollywood]: What? Allison’s back?? Quick, how’s our hair?

[FunnyOrDie.com]: Handsome + Me + Funny = Host

[SlashFilm.com]: Can you believe The Big Lebowski is already 10 years old?! Our baby’s growing up so quickly

And finally, when “Haha, now you’re dead!” is the absolute best you can do, these are the guys to call on.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.
Categories
All Other Sports

Jelena Jankovic drops trou for the whole world to see

Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do, like change your underwear in front of a stadium full of onlookers.

Wonder how much those sweaty undies could fetch on eBay?

Links:

[The Big Lead]: Try Not to Leer at Jelena Jankovic While She Changes Her Underwear in the Middle of a Match

Categories
Detroit Tigers

Odds and Ends: Damn, baby, what did you do to your logo?!

There are so many horrible logos in the world of sports that we could probably establish an entire hall of shame for the goofy designs. But that would take more effort to create than actually went into the logos themselves and that just doesn’t seem right to us. Luckily, we can eliminate about 4,000 disasters right off the bat because the fellas over at InventorSpot.com came up with The Top 10 Worst Sports Logos.

10. New York Jets (2002-present)

9. Portland Trail Blazers (Too long)

8. Boston Red Sox (1950-1959)

7. Cleveland Browns (1950-1959)

6. New York Islanders (1995-1997)

5. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1976-1996)

4. Denver Nuggets (1982-1993)

3. Chicago Cubs (1916)

2. Anaheim Mighty Ducks (1996)

1. Detroit Tigers (1927-1928)

We’d also like to submit the new Tampa Bay logo for consideration.

In other news…

[The Victoria Times]: “Hey, we’re not fat! We’re just big boned!”

[Cousins of Ron Mexico]: Dale Earnhardt Jr. is a big mofo! Scratch that, it’s just Big Mo’.

[East Coast Bias]: Greatest tennis match ever? Hell yeah, it was!

[Mr. Irrelevant]: John McEnroe agrees with us, but we didn’t get to hug Roger Federer

[YouTube.com]: Dude, shut the hell up!

[Bleacher Report]: Sorry, but there’s no love for the 1985-88 Miami Hurricanes football team

[Lion in Oil]: It’s still not too late to win an opportunity to make Adam Morrison cry

[MMAImpact.com]: Melvin Guillard must not get paid by the hour

[JoeSportsFan.com]: First, a man gets pregnant and now this

[MediaTakeOut.com]: Shhhh, Shaq’s sleeping

And finally, Tiger Woods introduced the world to Cablinasians. Unfortunately, Blasians wound up with this spaz.

Categories
All Other Sports

Odds and Ends: Aliens spotted at Wimbledon

If you watched the instant classic between Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal on the Wimbledon grass then you know all about the celebrities in attendance. Well, you at least know that Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani were there because the cameras showed the power couple at least once every ten minutes. However, you might have been too star struck to notice the “others” who showed up to the matches.

With the blankest of blank expressions on their faces, these mysterious figures have been popping up in the most unlikely of places.

The faceless mutants have a penchant for A-list celebrity bashes and have been spotted at Elton John’s White tie ball and Harrods summer sale, opened by Sex and the City star Kim Cattrall.

With a membrane of skin stretched tightly over their eyes, noses and mouths, the alien-like figures were most recently snapped ‘watching’ a match perched on Murray Mount at Wimbledon.

Oh, those were aliens!? We thought those faceless freaks were this dude and Joan Rivers.

In other news…

[EBSports.net]: Batter, and penis, up!

[The World of Isaac]: God bless, America and God bless, American flag bikinis

[Cuzoogle.com]: Troy Tulowitzki joins an elite club

[The Caveman Network]: Rampage whooped by UFC’s new light-heavyweight champion Forrest Griffin

[The Sports Muffin]: The American League’s flubs and snubs

[FilteringCraig.com]: The Nets aren’t the only club looking to sign LeBron James

[The Big Lead]: Epic, epic, epic Wimbledon final on Sunday

[SportsAgentBlog.com]: It’s all about the mo-ney!

[The Sports Hernia Blog]: MLB unveils the new logo for Tampa Bay

[CalBearsShop.com]: The Golden Bears football team gets a new wardrobe

And finally, freestyle swinging.

Categories
All Other Sports

Russian tennis princess gets robbed at gunpoint


If you thought that the curse of money ended with the NFL and the NBA then you’d be wrong. In fact, if you thought greedy, violent criminals and their get-rich-quick schemes were secluded to the United States then you’d be wrong. Turns out those wacky Russians are some aggressive, money-hungry scandals as well.

Tennis star Anna Chakvetadze was tied up by a group of masked men at gunpoint at her home in Russia on Tuesday, robbing her of about $106,000 in cash and around $200,000 in jewelry and other things around her home, according to her father.

Six assailants approached the home outside Moscow before dawn, tied up a maid in another building and forced her to hand over a remote control enabling them to enter the house through the garage, Dzhamal Chakvetadze told NTV television.

“They started to beat me, and I resisted. They hit me over the head with, I think, a pistol butt. It was dark,” he said, taking off his cap to show his bruised scalp. “They took out a pistol and told me my child was at home – reminded me – and they told me to hand everything over. I did.”

Police and Russia tennis coach Shamil Tarpishchev said the assailants tied up Chakvetadze and her parents, the ITAR-Tass news agency reported. Tarpishchev said the 20-year-old player, ranked No. 6, “tried to resist but it was useless,” ITAR-Tass reported.

Maybe we’re just poor sports bloggers who can’t conceive this type of stuff, but $106,000 in cash?!?! Don’t you need a special in-house safe like Scrooge McDuck had in his mansion if you’re holding that kind of paper? Unless you’re Tony Montana, then we say use a freakin’ bank.

Oh, and it’s probably not advised to advertise your wealth on your website. We understand that everyone already knows you’re loaded, but, c’mon, you’re just asking for trouble.

I’m sort of embarrassed to admit but I’m into jewelry too, Hehe…One of my weaknesses are sport cars. Ferrari in particular.

Links:

[WCBSTV.com]: Russian Tennis Star Tied Up, Robbed At Her Home

Categories
General Sports

Something to be thankful for

Thanksgiving always has a way of creeping up on us, but this year we actually remembered before the Wednesday night prior to the big day. So, considering that we’re in the seasonal spirit a bit early this year, we thought we’d bring you a video you can be thankful for. At least you can be thankful that you’re not any of the people in the video.

All right, can I get a drumstick now?

Categories
All Other Sports

Tennis players might look comfortable, but there’s a whole lotta itchin’ going on

You know how it is to be sitting around watching TV and eating microwave dinners when something just doesn’t feel right. You’re just not comfortable. You know what it is, it’s that damn underwear. So, what do you do? Well, you drop trou and finish off that Salisbury steak and mashed potatoes in comfort, of course. And now, tennis players are fighting for their right to go commando.

Yeah, we know, it’s pretty strange behavior, but it’s nothing compared to some of the stupid things that golfers do.

Categories
All Other Sports

Apparently tennis humor consists of more than just Novak Djokovic

Tennis is a great game, but as much as we love to see matches that go back and forth for hours on end, we love this kinda stuff even more.

Streakers, Andy Roddick’s antics, Anna K, Andre’s hair; we’d better not hear anyone saying tennis is boring ever again.

Categories
All Other Sports

The U.S. Open just became Last Comic Standing

If you’re anything like us then you just loves you some tennis. And if you just loves you some tennis then you probably already know all about the comedic genius of one Mr. Novak Djokovic. He’s basically the Rich Little of the ATP. Well, he was at it again following his easy win at the U.S. Open on Thursday.

Even if a movie about tennis starring Will Ferrell came out, we don’t know if it could be funnier than ol’ Novak doing his best Maria Sharapova.

Categories
All Other Sports

Venus Williams’ has the thrill of a lifetime: reading a Top Ten list


Venus Williams is atop the tennis world again after she dominated on the famous grass courts of Wimbledon yet again. And while getting a nice fat check, a big trophy and more international fame might be some of the little perks that come along with the victory, the grand prize for busting her butt and winning against the best competition the world has to offer is a complimentary trip to the Late Show with David Letterman where Venus got to read a very special Top Ten list.

Top Ten Things Venus Williams Would Like To Say After Winning Her 4th Wimbledon Title

10: “I blew my prize money on a sandwich and a medium soda at the concession stand”

9: “It always helps to tip the line judges”

8: “Frankly, I prefer racquetball”

7: “At the rate I’m going, I’ll have won 50 Wimbledon titles by the age of 120”

6: “I owe it all to my new iRacket”

5: “I’m taking some time off to polish my trophies”

4: “The secret to my forehand smash? I imagine the ball is Letterman’s head”

3: “Imagine how I’d do if I practiced”

2: “Don’t tell me how I did in the finals. I TiVo’d it”

1: “Steinbrenner just signed me to save the Yankees”

Links:

[CBS.com]: Today’s Top Ten