Categories
Green Bay Packers

Odds and Ends: Brett’s back, baby!

Adolf Hitler might be a true blue Cowboys fan, but he’s just as sick of the Brett Favre drama as the rest of us.

In other news…

[YardBarker.com]: Can you name the entire 1992 Dream Team? You got two minutes. Go!

[Red Sox Monster]: “Defrost Ted” tee hits the shelves

[SI.com]: Cancel your order for a No. 23 Olympiakos jersey

[SignOnSanDiego.com]: Please, please, please don’t take our drunk athletes away!

[Rear Naked News]: Quinton Jackson’s life continues to spiral out of control

[Awful Announcing]: Art Monk finally gets his props

[Home Run Derby]: What you talking `bout, umpire?!

[Boston.com]: Paul Pierce gets bracelets to match his new ring

[Epic Carnival]: Bobblehead makers are truly the lowest form of artist

[Uncoached]: Which Sweet Lou face is your favorite?

[The Ghosts of Wayne Fontes]: Awwww, man; we’re Stephen A. Smith!

[CollegeOTR.com]: College can be a career killer

[SamePageSports.com]: If you said Coach K is the cheesiest person alive then give yourself a pat on the back

[Cousins of Ron Mexico]: “The 2008 Bejing Ol-Chimp-ics.” Thank goodness we’re not the only ones who don’t use spell-check

And finally, another classic video of a cheerleader getting trampled by the football team.

Categories
NFL General

Odds and Ends: NFL Countdown says sayonara to Emmitt Smith

If you love language-butchering and verbal buffoonery then this is going to be tough for you to take. Emmitt Smith has been released by ESPN, kinda.

It’s official. Emmitt Smith will not be part of ESPN’s two-hour pregame show, NFL Countdown, in 2008.

ESPN is expected to make the formal announcement soon.

Emmitt will be replaced by Cris Carter, whose enhanced visibility could help his chances of getting into the Hall of Fame on the second try. (Then again, if Carter does a bad job or comes off as a blowhard, it could hurt him.)

Emmitt will remain on Monday Night Countdown, and he’ll have a role on the Sunday morning pre-Countdown version of SportsCenter.

We know, we know; it’s difficult to confront. We loved listening to Emmitt slaughter the simplest of sentences just like everyone else. Don’t forget though, he’s not gone; he’s just on two hours less each week. Anyways, utterances like these will live on forever.

In other news…

[FanHouse.com]: Guess which golfer got rid of his man boobs?

[The Undrafted Free Agent]: Mountaineer basketball players love their alcohol

[Bugs & Cranks]: Yup, William Hung is still a horrible singer

[By the Numbers]: Vote no on a tournament in college football. Wait, what???

[YardBarker.com]: Ocho Cinco, Too Tall, Crazy Legs, Bad Moon, Gravedigger and many, many more of your favorite NFL nicknames

[SportsAgentBlog.com]: Finally, a reason besides Erin Andrews to love the University of Florida

[Rush the Court]: NBA draft picks by school (1949-2008)

[CollegeHumor.com]: “Oh, monsieur!! The boys took a beating on that one.”

[Redskins.com]: Colt Brennan is a system quarterback and a blogger

[The Big Picture]: “Booze + Ambien + bad judgment + flight attendants = one year of jail time and a $4,000 fine”

[The Love of Sports]: Yogi Berra gets robbed, winds up with only one of the Top 20 Baseball Quotes of All Time

[SidelineHotties.com]: Finally, a site devoted entirely to sideline hotties

[TampaBay.com]: If the Rays win the World Series, we want a large with pepperoni and jalapenos

[Hollyscoop]: Freddie Prinze Jr. joins the WWE and becomes The Masked Blogger

[Tirico Suave]: Can it get any better than babes telling us about fantasy football? Uh, no

[Kissing Suzy Kolber]: `Just make it look like an accident’

[The World of Isaac]: Hallelujah, we can finally forget about Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon

And finally, hey, where’d you find that guy? We’ve been looking for a little person friend who’s willing to kick himself in the head with steel toe boots too!!

Categories
Olympics

Odds and Ends: Hair today, gone tomorrow

The Olympics are rapidly approaching and the one question on everyone’s mind is, “Will the Nigerian football team players cut off their sweet locks or what?”

Nigeria’s Olympic football coach Samson Siasia has warned his players that he expects short hair and correct clothing for the Beijing Games, a federation spokesman said on Friday.

Siasia, known as a stickler for discipline, believes that his players are devoting too much time to their elaborate hairstyles, time which he believes could be better used in fine-tuning their performances.

And the coach goes as far as to claim that players with short hair are more aerodynamic and so find it easier to find their rhythm on the pitch.

So the hair makes all the difference, huh? Well, explain these athletes then.

In other news…

[Awful Announcing]: Jeff Brantley does not want to run into Ken Griffey Jr in a dark alley

[JoeSportsFan.com]: We still can’t believe we actually beat Mr. X

[ESPN]: Best NFL playoff performances

[Athlebrities.com]: Baron Davis has a Shemagwhat?

[SportsByBrooks.com]: Erin Andrews’ bed. Mmmmmmmm, Erin Andrews’ bed

[Sportaphile.com]: Homophobic ad No. 1…

[BottomLineCom.com]: And homophobic ad No. 2

[Uncoached]: We heart New York

[Need4Sheed.com]: Optimistic about Kwame?!? Bwah-hahahahahahahaha!!

[UniqueDaily.com]: Another completely pointless record gets broken

[Tirico Suave]: Groundhog stew. Mmmmmmmmm, groundhog stew

[Yahoo! Sports]: Pat Riley is still a sucker for yellow

[Larry Brown Sports]: Would really expect anything less from Randy Moss’ daughter?

[WagRankings.com]: The 21 hottest sports movie WAGs

[Dbacks.com]: Diamondbacks fans love their dogs

[BannedInHollywood.com]: Golden Bear goddess

And finally, friendship moves!

Categories
Seattle Mariners

Odds and Ends: Ichiro goes bananas

Ever since we heard about Ichiro Suzuki’s out of character behavior every year at the All-Star Game, we thought something about the story sounded a little fishy. Well, we were right. As it turns out, Ichiro was accidentally exposed to the blast of a test detonation of a gamma bomb as a child. The effects were startling, making him a baseball machine, but also creating an emotional and impulsive alter ego. When anger or frustration set in, the transformation occurs. So, please, whenever around Ichiro, don’t make him angry. You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.

In other news…

[D.C. Sports Bog]: Colt Brennan is a system QB…and a dork

[FoodCourtLunch.com]: Super Bowl halftime performer odds are released

[Kissing Suzy Kolber]: `Joe Simpson’s Daughter Touching Company’ and other snazzy fantasy football team names

[IntentionalFoul.com]: LeBron says the USA is as good as gold

[Chicago Bull]: Would you want to wrestle a Long Wang?

[eTrueSports.com]: “Brett, who is this Purple People Eater that keeps texting you?”

[Sportaphile.com]: Wow, has it really been 25 years and day since this…

[Bugs & Cranks]: We thought it was just passion, but cocaine is much more reasonable

[SimonOnSports.com]: We did much better on the “What Bra Size Do I Wear? Erin Andrews Edition”

[Fanhouses Boxing]: Wait, we missed the World Chess Boxing Championships again?!?

[The Zone Blitz]: A tour of Pac-10 stadiums, Google Earth style

[Mr. Irrelevant]: Redskins bust out the big balls to practice for upcoming Wipeout tryouts

[The Big Lead]: Last night’s minor league baseball rumble from a fan’s POV

[ABC News]: Ricky Williams is all over this article

[Blue Monkey Disco Party]: Bet you don’t have these cards in your collection

[Our of Right Field]: Remember this guy?

[Metacafe.com]: Some call it a prank, we call it a GREAT day

And finally, dude, use your star power!

Categories
New York Yankees

Odds and Ends: This whole Alex Rodriguez sex scandal could have easily been avoided

Athletes and infidelity go together like peanut butter and jelly or like athletes and hookers. They’re simply made for each other, but that doesn’t mean that the cheating has to become public. According to BlackSportsOnline.com, an athlete doesn’t have to keep it in their pants in order to keep their name out of the paper. Simply following this list of The 10 Bona Fide Commandments For The Cheating Athlete should be more than enough.

I- IF THOU SHALL WIFE HER, THOU BETTER MAKE SURE SHE DOESN’T CARE IF YOU CHEAT.

II- THOU SHALL ALWAYS HAVE A PRENUP.

III- THOU SHALL NOT CARE IF WIFEY CHEATS ON YOU.

IV- THOU SHALL ALWAYS REMEMBER IT IS CHEAPER TO KEEP HER.

V- THOU SHALL NEVER SLEEP WITH ANYONE IN COLORADO NOR ANYONE NAMED KATIE WITH A JOURNALISM DEGREE, EVEN FROM A COMMUNITY COLLEGE.

VI- THOU SHALL NEVER CHEAT WITH AN OBSESSED FAN.

VII- THOU SHALL REMEMBER CONDOMS COST $8 A BOX AS OPPOSED TO 25% OF YOUR GROSS INCOME GOING TO CHILD SUPPORT.

VIII- THOU SHALL REMEMBER THEY ARE STRIPPERS AND PROSTITUTES FOR A REASON.

IX- THOU SHALL NOT CHEAT WITH CELEBRITIES.

X- THOU SHALL TREAT BOTH YOUR “SIDE-PIECE” & YOUR WIFE LIKE A QUEEN.

Learn it. Memorize it. Live by it.

In other news…

[Tirico Suave]: Kerry Collins stars in “God Dammit”

[Kissing Suzy Kolber]: Peter King stars in “Peter King Needs A Latte”

[Heavy.com]: Top 10 old school WWF wrestlers

[Gossip Girls]: Kim Kardashian might be on Dancing With the Stars. Schwing

[Deuce of Davenport]: Crazy-ass NFL merchandise, including the “creepiest sleeping bag ever”

[All Balls]: Just follow the bouncing boobs. Oh, god, we mean breasts. Uh, err, no, balls; wait, ball. Yea, that’s it; just follow the bouncing boobs. Dammit

[Rear Naked News]: Michael Bisping might have a death wish

[NE Patriots Draft]: More of Brett Favre this…

[StarTribune.com]: And more of Brett Favre that

[The Associated Press]: Congratulations on becoming the drunkest guy ever, Mr. 0.491 Percent Blood Alcohol Level

[The City of Champions]: The ol `Take off your shirt so we can get a picture of you and Photoshop it onto the cover of a gay porn rag’ trick gets `em every time

[The Redshirt Senior]: College pigskin’s top 10 lids

[Storming the Floor]: Texas set to retire Kevin Durant’s jersey. Sure, it was one heckuva season, but, damn!

[LAist.com]: UCLA is soooo totally ass-some

[Banned In Hollywood]: What? Allison’s back?? Quick, how’s our hair?

[FunnyOrDie.com]: Handsome + Me + Funny = Host

[SlashFilm.com]: Can you believe The Big Lebowski is already 10 years old?! Our baby’s growing up so quickly

And finally, when “Haha, now you’re dead!” is the absolute best you can do, these are the guys to call on.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.
Categories
NBA General

Odds and Ends: Oklahoma City is currently announcerless

“OKC f’n sucks, kiddo”

The longtime voice of the Seattle Sonics has decided to forgo relocating to Oklahoma City, opting instead to remain in Seattle and become the announcer for the city’s – get this – soccer team instead.

Kevin Calabro, the voice of the Sonics for 21 seasons, will become the voice of Seattle Sounders FC broadcasts as the team debuts in Major League Soccer next season. …

“I’m thrilled to be part of Sounders FC soccer in a city that I know will embrace it,” said Calabro. “Seattle is blessed to have devoted ownership as well and I know people will be excited about the possibilities.”

Yea, we think it was the whole “Thundercats” speculation that kept him from taking the job too.

In other news…

[Uncoached]: Who says chicks can’t dunk?

[Kissing Suzy Kolber]: Jeremy Shockey just realized he got traded to the Saints

[Shake dem Dreads]: 32 NFL teams, 115 dread heads. How’s your team stack up?

[Chicago Bull]: Deng, they coulda had Kobe

[ESPN Page 2]: T.O. saves the day when Batman and Hancock couldn’t

[NewsOK.com]: Thunder. Thundercats. Thunder. Yea, definitely a step in the right direction

[YepYep]: Top home plate collisions

[FanNation]: He wasn’t involved in another Nipplegate, so we’re going to let it slide

[CollegeHumor.com]: 3…2…1…Swish. “Sweet.”

[Deuce of Davenport]: Dude A: “So, do you root for the Phillies or the Yankees?”

Dude B: “Feel deez nuts!”

[Need4Sheed.com]: Ron Artest might be a Piston?!? Shut the hell up!!

[Philly.com]: Charles Barkley gives his money away, but this time it’s not to a casino

[NYPost.com]: Captain Lou Albano might be 75 years old, but he still knows how to throw a party

[JoeSportsFan.com]: Picture of Satan taking in a day at the ballpark

[The Redshirt Senior]: Hey, take it back; Erin Andrews is hot, you big liar! Did you even watch the ESPYs???

And finally, dude, you can win The Ultimate Warrior’s shirt. Well, he’s not really The Ultimate Warrior anymore, but he’s the old, creepy dude who used to be The Ultimate Warrior. Still cool, right?


Ultimate Warrior Contest: Win The Shirt Off Warrior’s Back!
Uploaded by ultimatewarriortv
Categories
All Other Sports

Odds and Ends: Adidas unleashes its inner Nazi

Ever since Nike came up with their “Swoosh” logo, other shoe companies have desperately attempted to distinguish themselves with a similarly iconic symbol. Most, if not all, have failed to even breath the same air as Nike when it comes to logos and it’s primarily because of ideas like this one.

Adidas has released a cross-promotional ad campaign overseas with their mobile pals Au and there seems to be something distinctly haunting about their new graphic. Do you see it? There. Look. It’s smacking you right in the face like a Nazi World War II SS lightning bolt logo. Oh, well there you have it. Apparently this has gone unnoticed, but Adidas–a German company–is probably aware.

In other news…

[SportsFriends.com]: Steve Nash is sooo friggin cool it makes us sick

[Hugging Harold Reynolds]: We’re sorry, what did you say Erin? We were busy staring at your rack

[ThePhinsider.com]: Jason Taylor: From Fins to Skins

[OneFunnyBastard.com]: The Karate Kid gets a facelift

[AZStarNet.com]: The man behind your favorite championship belts

[WrestlingTruth.com]: Lima, Peru just can’t get enough John Cena

[LiveLeak.com]: Don’t worry little one, President Bush has that effect on most people

[Tirico Suave]: Eh, we weren’t impressed with Heath Ledger. This guy shoulda played The Joker

[Cuzoogle]: Best full court shots ever

[Blazer’s Edge]: Nate Robinson gets honored, kinda

[YouTube]: Top putback dunks eva’

[Steady Burn]: If you can write an essay then you can get shot down by Natalie Gulbis

[The Ghosts of Wayne Fontes]: The best, uh, worst, no, best athlete images of all-time

[StupidCelebrities.net]: Danica went Danica on Milka Duno. Meeeeeow

[Awful Announcing]: The most inconsequential awards show on the planet aired last night

And finally, rapping about the F.U.P.A. Totally not safe for work or kids.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.
Categories
MLB General

Odds and Ends: Wolverine?! We always pegged Robin as an All Star catcher


If you’re anything like us then a lot of your childhood consisted of comic books and sports. When our nose wasn’t buried in the latest edition of X-Men, Punisher or Green Lantern, we would be pretending we possessed super powers while trying to school each other on court/field/diamond/whatever. So, when Brahsome.com released their 2008 Super Hero All-Stars, we instantly thought “What the hell! Why isn’t Nightcrawler playing in the outfield?!?”

1. Flash (SS) — We don’t need to explain why Flash is at the top of the lineup do we? A ridiculous combination of OBP and stolen bases, the only thing keeping him from being the perfect leadoff man is that he doesn’t speak in the third person.

2. Spiderman (CF) — You think Torii Hunter can climb walls? Please. Spidey sense tells him how to line up the defense and his webbing and speed turns him into some freakish combination of Willie Mays and Junior. Plus, it just seems like he could slap singles all day long.

3. Superman (LF) — X-Ray vision and faster than a speeding bullet probably don’t “hurt” anyone in the batter’s box. Flying isn’t a bad superpower to rock out in the field either.

4. The Thing (DH) — An incredibly strong dude made of literal rock isn’t much good for anything besides cleaning up. Like Papi, but with less fat and more taterjacks.

5. Batman (3B) — The only man on the planet with more tools than David Wright.

6. Wolverine (C) — Just in case you thought you got through the heart of the order, Wolvie is here to gnash at six. Literally a meast. And obviously not someone you want to try and bowl over at home plate. Shink-shink, son.

7. Punisher (RF) — He doesn’t really have any “super” powers, per se. But go ahead, try and tag up from second to third and see if he doesn’t gun your ass down. Go ahead. No, really. Guns.

8. Mr. Fantastic (1B) — If it seems like he might be a better fit elsewhere in the field, just remember that he has a decent reach and range on throws over to first. Also see: collapsible strike zones.

9. Captain America (2B) — Kind of like the Mark Lemke of super heroes, he’s not particularly great at anything. But he works his ass off. And he’s American. Plus, he can’t possibly be worse than Dan Uggla.

SP: Human Torch — What can we say? The guy’s got a gascan attached to his right arm. (Would you prefer “he throws fire?”)

CL: The Hulk — You could argue that you want the Hulk to bat. But what happens when this loser steps up to the plate? Plus, just wait until the top of the ninth and put matches in between his toes or tell him Torch f’d his sister and all of a sudden your closer makes Papelbon look like Ghandi.

In other news…

[AZSportsHub.com]: Chris Snyder would like to encase his balls in protective steel one day, but a Nutty Buddy will work for now

[SportsBy Brooks.com]: Beware Be scared of flying bats

[The Beardown]: 10 reasons why Europe is wrong for Jennings

[Football Jabber]: “Legacy?!? We spit in the face of our legacies!”

[Reuters.com]: They thought it was a hot dog eating competition. It’s an innocent mistake

[East Coast Bias]: Ugliest famous faces in sports

[SI.com]: So, ESPYs, does the carpet match the drapes?

[OrlandoSentinel.com]: A brief history of athletes showing all in Playboy

[Tirico Suave]: Oh those zany McCowns

[The World of Isaac]: Breaking down the finer points of Charles Barkley’s golf swing

And finally, hey, is that a young John Cena?

Categories
MLB General

Odds and Ends: Bon Jovi brings us up to speed with the MLB’s first half

Before the second half of the MLB season begins, why not remember the first half in style? Set to the tune of Bon Jovi’s greatest hits album, here’s the season’s memorable moments thus far. Are you ready to rock!?!

Lay Your Hands on Me: Boston Red Sox-Tampa Rays — The fight of the first half goes to these two teams. We’re still wondering what would’ve happened to Coco Crisp had James Shields connected on his haymaker.

Wanted Dead or Alive: Willie Randolph — We still don’t know for sure if it was the owners (The Wilpons) or the GM (Omar Minaya) who wanted Randolph out, but when you fire a guy who has won three of four and is on the first game of a West Coast trip at 3 a.m. Eastern time, you wanted blood however you could get it.

Keep the Faith: Detroit Tigers — The Tigers started 0-7 and it took them until June 30 to have a winning record. They’re still just one game over .500 and seven games behind the White Sox, but they’ve at least climbed out of a huge hole.

I’ll Be There For You: Francisco Rodriguez — K-Rod has 36 saves to lead the majors. The next highest total is 27.

Runaway: Evan Longoria — No player has a postseason award locked up more than the Rays rookie third baseman.

Livin’ On a Prayer: Chicago Cubs — Is this the year the drought finally ends? We all know about the curse of the Billy Goat and Steve Bartman. Cubs fans are praying this is the year those things are put in the past. They’re halfway there.

Blaze of Glory: Arizona Diamondbacks — The club got off to a 20-8 start. They’re now 46-46 and hold a one-game lead over the Dodgers in the NL West. We’d say that was going down in a blaze of glory.

It’s My Life: Josh Hamilton — We all know about Hamilton’s unbelievable comeback. He was consumed by drugs and was headed toward death. Now, he’s an MVP candidate who has a whopping 91 RBIs. The opening to this song’s chorus fits the Texas slugger perfectly: It’s my life/ It’s now or never/ I ain’t gonna live forever/ I just want to live while I’m alive.

Bad Medicine: Ryan Church — The Mets outfielder suffered a concussion on May 20 (his second of the season) has been sidelined by postconcussion syndrome on and off for almost two months. The Mets have been accused of not handling the injury properly and now the players’ union is getting involved.

You Give Love a Bad Name: Alex Rodriguez — This pretty much sums it up.

Never Say Goodbye: Barry Bonds — As teams try to figure out how to make that second-half surge, whose name has come up a few times in recent weeks? Bonds. Barry Bonds.

Have a Nice Day: Blue Jays manager John Gibbons, Mariners skipper John McLaren and the aforementioned Randolph all got their walking papers within four days of each other.

Who Says You Can’t Go Home: We couldn’t think of a good one for this song so we want you to submit some choice via that form to your right and we’ll post a couple later on.

In other news…

[East Coast Bias]: Best and worst of MLB All-Star Game

[The Bad News Bloggers]: This year’s top fantasy RB probably isn’t who you think it is (pssst, it’s Brian Westbrook)

[The Beardown]: A note to Bud Selig

[Don Chavez]: More pictures of cheerleaders gone slutty, this time in Winnipeg

[MyHogtown]: Beer guy gets canned…wait, he’s not working our section, right?

[NewsObserver.com]: The Pack is back

[Mondesishouse.com]: Pittsburgh Pirates: The Movie

[Red Sox Monster]: AP forgets to use spell-check

[SpursReport]: Spurs’ Coyote evacuates building

And finally, it’s Top Ten time.

Categories
MLB General

Odds and Ends: "Babe, I don’t know why he doesn’t hit the ball harder"

For the guys who are in a relationship, sports are usually a safe haven where the girlfriends rarely step foot. However, certain events like all-star games, the Super Bowl and March Madness bring out the inner sports fan within chicks and last night’s Home Run Derby certainly constitutes as such an event. So, for those of you lucky enough to actually trick a girl into dating you, here’s a list of things you probably heard while Josh Hamilton was going bananas.

“Look how slow they’re throwing the ball! This is SOOOOOO easy. You’d have to suck not to hit a home run every time.”

“That Berkman guy will definitely win, right? Don’t fat guys always win?”

“Were you joking when you said A-Rod isn’t participating because he’s spotting Madonna at the gym?”

“Why don’t they use the net in front of the pitcher in real games? Wouldn’t that be a lot safer?”

“Omigod. Look at all those guidos in the stands. As much as I love shopping in New York I am SOOO glad we don’t live there.”

“You haven’t switched over to E! once like you said you would.”

“Why don’t players just hit home runs every time? Wouldn’t that be a lot easier?”

“His last name isn’t really Uggla is it? I wouldn’t take your last name if it was Uggla.”

“So you’re really telling me you couldn’t do this? I thought you said you were good at sports.”

“Were you saying Hamilton `loves the coke’ or `loved the coke’?”

“Where’s Jeter? I thought you said he’d be there.”

“There’s another round?! Why? Enough people aren’t asleep?!”

In other news…

[Deuce of Davenport]: Now this is what we call a proper pregame warm-up

[RawSportsBlog.com]: The top 30 reasons to watch professional wrestling

[Undrafted Free Agent]: Mmmmm, the most memorable MLB manager meltdowns

[RyanSpoon.com]: The NFL is worth a whole lotta chedda

[Cleveland.com]: BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Tractor Traylor is attempting to back his way into the NBA

[Bugs & Cranks]: The MLB is stuffed full of Dicks

[With Leather]: Josh Hamilton sends em back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back (we could be here a while), back, back, back, back…

[Docksquad Sports]: LeBron James gets groovy for charity

[YepYep]: Sorry BMXers and skateboarders, but you just lost use of the term “extreme” because of these guys

[YouTube]: The only good reason to watch a loser bounce quarters into a glass

And finally, the exact opposite of Heelys.