See, we always knew professional wrestling was fake and here’s the proof.
We’re not the only ones who thought was blatantly staged, right? There’s no way the industry can survive with horribly unbelievable performances like that one. C’mon, give us a break, nobody gets up from a superplex!
The longtime voice of the Seattle Sonics has decided to forgo relocating to Oklahoma City, opting instead to remain in Seattle and become the announcer for the city’s – get this – soccer team instead.
Kevin Calabro, the voice of the Sonics for 21 seasons, will become the voice of Seattle Sounders FC broadcasts as the team debuts in Major League Soccer next season. …
“I’m thrilled to be part of Sounders FC soccer in a city that I know will embrace it,” said Calabro. “Seattle is blessed to have devoted ownership as well and I know people will be excited about the possibilities.”
Yea, we think it was the whole “Thundercats” speculation that kept him from taking the job too.
For the guys who are in a relationship, sports are usually a safe haven where the girlfriends rarely step foot. However, certain events like all-star games, the Super Bowl and March Madness bring out the inner sports fan within chicks and last night’s Home Run Derby certainly constitutes as such an event. So, for those of you lucky enough to actually trick a girl into dating you, here’s a list of things you probably heard while Josh Hamilton was going bananas.
“Look how slow they’re throwing the ball! This is SOOOOOO easy. You’d have to suck not to hit a home run every time.”
“That Berkman guy will definitely win, right? Don’t fat guys always win?”
“Were you joking when you said A-Rod isn’t participating because he’s spotting Madonna at the gym?”
“Why don’t they use the net in front of the pitcher in real games? Wouldn’t that be a lot safer?”
“Omigod. Look at all those guidos in the stands. As much as I love shopping in New York I am SOOO glad we don’t live there.”
“You haven’t switched over to E! once like you said you would.”
“Why don’t players just hit home runs every time? Wouldn’t that be a lot easier?”
“His last name isn’t really Uggla is it? I wouldn’t take your last name if it was Uggla.”
“So you’re really telling me you couldn’t do this? I thought you said you were good at sports.”
“Were you saying Hamilton `loves the coke’ or `loved the coke’?”
“Where’s Jeter? I thought you said he’d be there.”
“There’s another round?! Why? Enough people aren’t asleep?!”
There’s no avoiding it any longer, fantasy sports are American males’, and some females’, primary obsession in life. You might say that you love your spouse and your kids, but we know where the true emotion lies. Remember when you blew off going to church so you could fine-tune your lineup before the early kickoffs? Or what about the time you skipped your kid’s recital in order to watch a Monday Night Football blowout because Jason Elam was your kicker and you trailed by seven points? Of course, the biggie was when you forgot about your anniversary while pondering over the name of your team. Well, thanks to FantasyTeamNames.net, you can avoid the last disaster by simply stealing someone else’s creative moniker. Here’s a list of the current top ten fantasy team names.
9.Suck My Ditka 8.Bartolo Colonoscopy 7.Fuhrious 6.Vanek at the Disco 5.Human Growth Whore Moans 4.Travis Henry is My Dad 3.My Vick In A Box 2.Itchy Pujols 1.Byrnes When I Peavy
In other news…
[WashingtonPost.com]: Willie Buns explains his run-in with sex kitten/geezer skeezer Kendra
[MMAMania.com]: Forget about Kimbo for a second. Rampage vs. Griffin is right around the corner!
Talk about a small, small world. On the same day we reminisce about Celebrity Boxing, we get smacked in the face with Celebrity Championship Wrestling. Oh, it’s true. It’s damn true. But like any show that features “celebrities,” the term is used extremely loosely. Don’t be expecting to see Brad Pitt or Jennifer Lopez or George Clooney donning spandex for the reality show, but Nikki Ziering is participating, meaning every male in America will be tuning in.
The new series will feature 10 celebrity contestants, male and female, in tag teams, performing moves like the Pile Driver, the Running Power Slam, Dragon Sleeper and the Triple Power Bomb as they compete against one another in for the CCW title! Two former pro wrestlers will train the contestants, with Hulk, former World Championship Wrestling president Eric Bischoff, and a surprise celebrity guest serving as judges.
Contestants include Dustin Diamond (Screech from Saved by the Bell), Tiffany, Todd Bridges (Different Strokes), Trishelle (Real World), Butterbean (boxer/ Jackass 2), Nikki Ziering (Playboy), Frank Stallone (musician), Erin Murphy (Tabitha from Bewitched), and two surprise contestants!
The show will run on CMT starting this summer and we are literally counting the minutes to the first three-way (in or out of the ring) involving Trishelle, Ziering and Kim Kardashian, who is our dream vote for mystery guest No. 1.
[OCATV.com]: Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling
[The Big Lead]: Hulk Hogan to Teach Screech Powers How to Wrestle – Son Still a Bad Person
Everyone is talking about Britney Spears these days. And when we say “everyone,” we mean EVERYONE. Even if you live in a world of complete make-believe where CEO’s self combust, dead men walk the earth and people routinely fall for the ol’ rope-a-dope; Britney’s breakdown is still a subject of great concern.
We try to keep our pro wrestling news to a minimum around here, but sometimes we come across a story that we just can’t ignore. Like when one of the legends of the squared circle passes on to the great traveling sideshow in the sky.
Lillian Ellison, aka the Fabulous Moolah, died on Friday at the age of 84 at Dunbar Funeral Home in Columbia, S.C.
Born Mary Lillian Ellison in 1923, she was dubbed the Fabulous Moolah after saying she wrestled “for the money … for the moolah.”
She was a longtime champion and the first woman inducted into the World Wrestling Entertainment Hall of Fame.
If you’re a fan of professional wrestling, then you’ve probably been wondering what happened to Ric Flair. No, he’s still not retired yet and he’s not in the hospital after receiving a STD from a lucky lady who took a ride on Space Mountain. No, apparently Flair is too busy suing car dealerships to deliver low blows or get tossed from the top turnbuckle.
Professional wrestler Ric Flair is suing a Columbia car dealership for imitating the “Nature Boy” and his well-known slogans to sell cars.
Flair says Freedom Suzuki used his persona without permission in radio and TV ads featuring a blond Captain Freedom shouting “Whoeee” and “To be the man, you got to beat the man!” Attorney Eric Bland says the “Whoeee” sounds exactly like the “Wooo!” his client Flair has shouted into microphones for decades.
Bland is claiming that the slogans are basically the property of Flair and that his client needs to protect his image before he really does hang it up for good.
We can’t blame `Naitch’ for trying to get paid while he can, but we never figured we’d see the ultimate wrestling playboy battling it out with some scummy car salesman over the technical differences between “Whoee” and “Wooo.” And as far as “To be the man, you got to beat the man” goes, even if that jerk rips off your catch phrase, you’ll always be a “limousine ridin’, jet flyin’, kiss stealin’, wheelin’ dealing, son of a gun” in our book.
[WISTV.com]: Wrestler Ric Flair sues Columbia car dealership over ads
Pacman Jones isn’t playing in the NFL this season, but that doesn’t mean he’s not still ballin’ because Mr. Jones is now wearing TNA gold after winning the tag team championships.
In a title bout against the then champs Sting and Kurt Angle, Pacman showed his selfish side by refusing several attempted tags from his partner Ron “The Truth” Killings. Of course, once Angle did all the dirty work by turning on Sting and hitting him with the Angle Slam then Pacman got busy and simply covered Sting for the easy 1-2-3.
Yea, we’re as shocked as you that Team Pacman came up with the gold, after all it’s basically a one man show with Killings doing all the heavy lifting. What’s worse is that in addition to not being able to wrestle thanks to restrictions placed on him by the Titans, Pacman totally sucks being behind the mic.
So, he can’t wrestle and he can’t shoot the crap to the fans; how the hell is he gonna be a wrestler worthy of carrying any professional title? Oh well, looks like we’ve got another Hulk Hogan on our hands. Maybe commissioner Goodell would cut some time off that suspension Pacman’s serving if he’d just start pushing prayers and vitamins.
So, TNA pulled a fast one on us on Thursday night’s episode of Impact where Pacman Jones was supposed to make his professional wrestling debut. But instead of getting the actual deviant, we got a video of Pacman saying that he was going to be making his first in-person appearance this Sunday at the pay-per-view event Hard Justice.
Of course he is. So, now it looks like not only are we’re going to have to wait a few more days before we start getting some answers about his role within the promotion, but we’ve also gotta shell out $35 or so to see him do it. Thanks TNA. At least we got this teaser to get ready for the big introduction:
Wait, did Pacman say that he was a “team player”? Damn, guess wrestling really is fake after all.