General Sports

The top 50 sports jerks

There’s a lot of jerks in this world and it just so happens that many of them are professional athletes. Say what you will, but sports would be a much different place without them. They certainly keep things spicy and we love/loathe them for it. So, without further ado, here’s list of the Top 50 Sports Jerks.

50. Albert Belle
49. Art Modell
48. Isiah Thomas
47. Bill Parcells
46. John McEnroe
45. Ray Lewis
44. The federal government.
43. Diego Maradona
42. Bill Romanowski
41. Jeremy Foley
40. Lawrence Taylor
39. Bobby Fischer
38. Scott Boras
37. Randall Simon
36. Don King
35. Wilt Chamberlain
34. Dale Earnhardt Sr.
33. Totally, completely, psychotically overboard fans of Barbaro
32. Claude Lemieux
31. (tie) Tony Stewart and Danica Patrick
29. Rasheed Wallace
28. Terrell Owens
27. Stephon Marbury
26. Kennesaw Mountain Landis
25. Tommy Lasorda
24. Mike Tyson
23. Ron Artest
22. Tonya Harding
21. Ben Johnson
20. Pacman Jones
19. Latrell Sprewell
18. John Rocker
17. Ko-Me Bryant
16. Barry Bonds
15. Reggie Jackson
14. Marion Jones
13. Mark McGwire
12. Manny Ramirez
11. Reggie Bush
10. Todd Bertuzzi
9. Robert Irsay
8. Bob Knight
7. Brett Favre
6. Pete Rose
5. John Daly
4. Ty Cobb
3. Tim Donaghy

2. Mike Vick
1. Roger Clemens

Yep, you can look it over one more time, but you’re eyes are not deceiving you. OJ Simpson and Rae Carruth did not, we repeat, did not make the cut! Apparently, “If you’re a murderer, well, you’re probably a jerk. Duh.” Talk about ridiculous reasoning! Don’t raping women and eating ears (Mike Tyson), corrupting the NBA (Tim Donaghy) and electrocuting pitbulls (Mike Vick) constitute as no brainers for jerkiness anymore?


[]: Top 50 Sports Jerks, the Sequel: Pity these fools

NBA General

Odds and Ends: Oklahoma City is currently announcerless

“OKC f’n sucks, kiddo”

The longtime voice of the Seattle Sonics has decided to forgo relocating to Oklahoma City, opting instead to remain in Seattle and become the announcer for the city’s – get this – soccer team instead.

Kevin Calabro, the voice of the Sonics for 21 seasons, will become the voice of Seattle Sounders FC broadcasts as the team debuts in Major League Soccer next season. …

“I’m thrilled to be part of Sounders FC soccer in a city that I know will embrace it,” said Calabro. “Seattle is blessed to have devoted ownership as well and I know people will be excited about the possibilities.”

Yea, we think it was the whole “Thundercats” speculation that kept him from taking the job too.

In other news…

[Uncoached]: Who says chicks can’t dunk?

[Kissing Suzy Kolber]: Jeremy Shockey just realized he got traded to the Saints

[Shake dem Dreads]: 32 NFL teams, 115 dread heads. How’s your team stack up?

[Chicago Bull]: Deng, they coulda had Kobe

[ESPN Page 2]: T.O. saves the day when Batman and Hancock couldn’t

[]: Thunder. Thundercats. Thunder. Yea, definitely a step in the right direction

[YepYep]: Top home plate collisions

[FanNation]: He wasn’t involved in another Nipplegate, so we’re going to let it slide

[]: 3…2…1…Swish. “Sweet.”

[Deuce of Davenport]: Dude A: “So, do you root for the Phillies or the Yankees?”

Dude B: “Feel deez nuts!”

[]: Ron Artest might be a Piston?!? Shut the hell up!!

[]: Charles Barkley gives his money away, but this time it’s not to a casino

[]: Captain Lou Albano might be 75 years old, but he still knows how to throw a party

[]: Picture of Satan taking in a day at the ballpark

[The Redshirt Senior]: Hey, take it back; Erin Andrews is hot, you big liar! Did you even watch the ESPYs???

And finally, dude, you can win The Ultimate Warrior’s shirt. Well, he’s not really The Ultimate Warrior anymore, but he’s the old, creepy dude who used to be The Ultimate Warrior. Still cool, right?

Ultimate Warrior Contest: Win The Shirt Off Warrior’s Back!
Uploaded by ultimatewarriortv
General Sports

If Flavor Flav and TO are on the same TV show then it has gotta be good

Terrell Owens just keeps getting stranger and stranger. First he starts crying over his quarterback instead of throwing him under the bus. Then he begins hanging out with Andy Roddick, making up one of the oddest odd couples ever, and now Owens is working on a television show with, of all people, Flavor Flav. While we would love to tell you that T.O. is going to make an appearance on Flavor of Love (which we’re guessing tastes like STDs), but Owens is actually going to be on Flav’s other show called “Under One Roof” which premiers on April 16 on MyNetworkTV. From what we can tell, it’s basically “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” with Flavor Flav playing the role of Will. Yup, this is going to be interesting.

I am really excited about the show and grateful for the opportunity,” Owens said in a statement Tuesday. “I am looking forward to the experience and working with the cast.”

Flav called Owens “one of my most favorite players in history.”

“One thing special I want to say to Terrell is, ‘Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being part of my show and consider this episode one extra touchdown under your belt,'” he said in a statement.

A touchdown under his belt is lot better than some of the other things that could end up under his belt if he heads to the set of Flav’s other show.


[]: NFL Star Terrell Owens To Appear On Flav’s New Sitcom

Dallas Cowboys

Take 8 seconds or so to reflect on the Cowboys season

A lot happened to the Dallas Cowboys this season. You might not have noticed everything that went down considering the Patriots run to perfection and Brett Favre’s resurrection had the media all a twitter for the majority of the year. Luckily, somebody went through the painstaking effort of chronicling the Boys race to disappointment so you wouldn’t miss a second.

Excellent work, but how could you leave out Kool Moe Dee Terrell Owens saying “That’s my quarterback“?

Dallas Cowboys

Forget the popcorn, get your tissues ready

The lingering image of last year’s playoff experience for Dallas was Tony Romo sitting on the Seattle turf with his helmet buried in his hands. This year’s postseason snapshot isn’t much better for Cowboys fans. After becoming the NFC’s first No. 1 seed to lose their opening playoff game since the new system was adopted in 1990, a teary-eyed Terrell Owens took the mic and defended his quarterback.

T.O. said you needed to have your popcorn ready on Sunday and he wasn’t lying. Unfortunately, all the crying in the world isn’t going to keep the media and critics from pointing fingers at Romo and his tryst with Jessica Simpson. The questions surrounding his preparation are sure to pop up, but he looked pretty sharp until his line became completely ineffective down the stretch and the obvious frustration set in. Regardless, the Boys are going home early AGAIN and, like the botched hold and shoestring tackle of last season, Owens’ quivering lip will haunt Cowboys fans until they get another shot to snap their current 12-year playoff drought.

Dallas Cowboys

Like Nick Lachey, Terrell Owens tells Jessica Simpson to get lost

If you thought Tony Romo was disappointed in his poor performance in front of his honey, then just wait until you hear how disappointed his teammates were. As if the Cowboys hadn’t already begun to eat their own when camera crews started broadcasting reactions to Roy Williams `horse-collar’ suspension, now we got Terrell Owens telling Jessica Simpson to beat it.

Right now, Jessica Simpson is not a fan favorite – in this locker room or in Texas Stadium,” Owens said Wednesday.

The Cowboys lost 10-6 to the Philadelphia Eagles and Romo had what was statistically the worst game of his career, all while Simpson sat in a luxury box wearing a pink No. 9 jersey she proudly showed off for television cameras.

The problem for her is, Romo’s previous worst game came last December at home to the Eagles when then-girlfriend Carrie Underwood was in attendance.

“With everything that has happened, obviously with the way Tony played and the comparison between her and Carrie Underwood, I think a lot of people feel she has taken his focus away,” Owens said, echoing the chatter on sports-talk radio and blogs. “Other than that, she was high on my list until last week.

“Oh, I got a message for her when we make the playoffs. Just stay tuned.

All this Jessica Simpson stuff has gotten out of hand. Girlfriends and wives are in the stands every game and we’re not slamming other players’ pitiful contributions to the fact their woman was in the bleachers. Romo stunk it up and that’s the end of the story. If Jessica doesn’t show up to the next game and Romo sucks even worse, is everyone going to start clamoring for her return a luxury box?

We’re just saying that we should keep the incidents separated. Why do we have to play connect the dots with everything that happens in sports? Let’s just keep our Tony Romo’s bad game insults over here and our Jessica Simpson’s big boobs and horse face insults over there and call it a day.


[]: T.O. To Jessica Simpson: Stay Away

Dallas Cowboys

T.O. and Keyshawn are just a couple of skunks in a pissing match

After having the Bill Belichick/Eric Mangini rivalry shoved down our throats for close to a week now and with no apparent end in sight until we witness another frigid handshake between the two following Sunday’s Pats/Jets showdown, we’re ready for some new blood. Make that some new bad blood.

On ESPN‘s Sunday NFL Countdown last, errr, Sunday, Keyshawn Johnson made a comment about how Bill Parcells is responsible for building the current 12-1 Cowboys squad and should the `Boys win the Super Bowl it would be because of the foundation laid by Parcells. Johnson also said that Owens needs to chill out on his old coach. Well, in case you’ve been under a rock for the past couple of years, Terrell Owens hates Bill Parcells. In fact, Terrell Owens hates even having his name associated with Bill Parcells. So, of course, as you would expect, T.O. fired back.

Oh yea, this has the potential to be a tit-for-tat for weeks to come as neither one of these loudmouths is going to let the other get the final word in. As T.O. would say, “Get your popcorn ready.”


[MSNBC]: T.O. blasts Keyshawn for Tuna comments

Dallas Cowboys

Terrell Owens’ terrible towel gets him a $10K fine

No, not that towel.

We know that the NFL is trying to cut down on all the coordinated touchdown celebrations, but the league’s policing of the new rules have almost become as ridiculous as the skits themselves.

During Philadelphia’s loss crushing defeat complete annihilation humiliating obliteration by Dallas on Sunday, Terrell Owens went T.O. after scoring a touchdown and started waving around the “Terrell Owens Official Touchdown Towel” on the sideline. Like most things that Owens does, the league didn’t like it and they slapped him with a $10,000 fine on Thursday.

It’s stuff like that,” Owens said. “People try to make a big deal out of it. It’s not any different than Chad (Johnson) going to the sidelines and taking (out) a coat. All I had was a little towel, and now they want to make that into a big deal.

We gotta agree with the ego maniac on this one. We thought the commish was concerned with end zone celebrations, not sideline celebrations. Pretty soon these guys are going to have to start dancing in the parking lots if they want to have some fun after a score. Ahh, but there’s a catch to Roger Goodell’s madness because he didn’t fine Owens for his actual celebration, he went even more nitpicky and pulled out the “violating league uniform and equipment rules” card.

We know that you’re probably feeling like you’re always being picked on T.O. and you probably are. But look at it this way, Tank Johnson’s return to the league and debut with the Cowboys has to drop you down a notch on the `bad boy’ Cowboy list. Your stock has to increase in the eyes of the league, right? Right??


[]: No Fun League? T.O. fined for waving towel
[]: Towel costs Dallas Cowboys’ Owens $10K

Dallas Cowboys

Terrell Owens does his best Stephon Marbury imitation

Sure, Terrell Owens is fun to watch play; after all, you never know if he’s going to blow up for 150 yards and a trio of TDs or just plain blow up on an assistant coach. But we really love listening to TO yap about football. Yup, we just loves us some TO.

Owens even delved into the taboo topic of dogfighting, saying he attended one “when I was younger.”

“Being from the South, that’s something that’s very prevalent in that area,” he said.

Later, he compared dogfighting to hunting deer: “They cut their heads off and they go to mount them on the wall. And they are animals as well. I don’t see a big difference in the situation.

Wait, did say that we loves us some TO? That was when he was saying things like “Get your popcorn ready with a little extra butter” and “Like my boy tells me; if it looks like a rat and smells like a rat, by golly, it is a rat.” Hold up, so you mean to tell us that Owens is actually a lunatic?! Oh, snap!

When I say it’s a cultural situation, I’m not trying to bring a racial barrier into it. If anyone wants to dig that up, I will dispel that. I don’t condone Michael Vick’s actions with the dogfighting. I’ve been exposed to it and it’s something that’s very unfortunate for Mike. I think he’ll learn from this situation and move on from it.

Hmm, sounds like someone else has just joined the Clinton Portis School of Public Speaking.

And in other news from planet Owens, it sounds like TO and Donovan McNabb have finally moved on which means that we can all happily move on from a relationship that officially ended years ago.

“I did what I had to do when I saw Donovan. I apologized,” Owens said before Dallas practiced Wednesday. “Donovan is a good guy. I missed him. I missed the times that we had. Donovan is a good guy. He is a good friend. There were some things that happened. I do regret some of the things that happened. If I could go back and change some of the things then I would.”

McNabb said the two could’ve had “something special” if they played together longer than 1½ years.

“Unfortunately, it didn’t go in that direction,” McNabb said. “We’ve talked it out and communicated when we had the opportunity to, and kind of put it behind us. That’s the past, and we’re just focusing on what we have to do with our given teams right now.

Thank goodness for that. Now if we could just get Britney and Justin to kiss and make up we’d be set.


[MSNBC]: T.O. compares dogfighting to hunting deer
[MSNBC]: McNabb says he, T.O. have `talked it out’

Dallas Cowboys

TO says good riddance to Parcells

See ya, Bill!

You know how Bill Parcells went out with class, issuing a statement that he was tired and physically he was tired and thanking all the players and coaches that supported him? Did you really expect the same from TO? Didn’t think so. The ever quotable TO had this to say about the Tuna’s retirement:

I am just hoping his retirement brings promise to what the team has to offer. This past year was a big letdown. On paper we were as good as anybody we played against every week. The end result didn’t show that. Our play was not indicative of what we could have done. What we should have done. Hopefully, the owner will hire a coach to take the team to the next level.

Parcell’s biggest sin?

I was underutilized in the offense. A new coach can be good for the Cowboys. It’s not just me. But my teammates know I could have done more. I wasn’t used as a No. 1 receiver. If you don’t involve a guy, that person is not going to be as productive as he can be. That’s how I felt.

What (good) coach in his right mind is going to take the Cowboys job? Can an incoming coach stipulate that his hiring is contingent on the cutting of Terrell Owens? (By the way folks, that’s our last TO/Parcells story for a while… we promise.)

[Star-Telegram]: Owens: Parcells’ retirement for the best