Featured Philadelphia Eagles

Donovan McNabb doesn’t know NFL games can end in ties

The Eagles just had the first tie game in 6 years. ¬†Against the Bengals. ¬† And to add insult (or hilarity) to injury, here’s McNabb telling a reporter that he didn’t know NFL games can end in ties. ¬† Hmmm, I guess that explains the lack of urgency during the last couple minutes of the game.

Wait.. check that, there was no urgency at all during the game either.

Philadelphia Eagles

Brian Westbrook’s decision to go down is still reverberating though the world of fantasy

Fantasy football participants across the globe still remember the exact feelings that rushed throughout their body during the final moments of last season’s matchup between the Eagles and the Cowboys in Week 15. Well, let’s rephrase that. Fantasy football participants across the globe who either owned Brian Westbrook or played against Brian Westbrook still remember the exact feelings that rushed throughout their body during the final moments of last season’s matchup between the Eagles and the Cowboys in Week 15. Unfortunately for Cardinals wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald, Westbrook was starting for him that week.

Larry Fitzgerald spoke for millions (thousands, anyway) of people in the NFL world when he told Philadelphia running back Brian Westbrook at the 2008 Pro Bowl, “You ruined my fantasy football team.”

The Cardinals’ receiver was one of many people on the wrong side of the NFL’s version of “The Play.” It was fantasy’s answer to Jim Marshall running the wrong way, or Don Beebe chasing down Leon Lett to strip him of a sure touchdown in Super Bowl XXVII. If fantasy football ever had a “Where were you?” moment, this was it. But what was it?

Late in the fourth quarter of a week-15 game at Dallas, with Philadelphia leading by four points, Westbrook took a handoff and broke through the Cowboys’ defense. It looked like a certain 25-yard touchdown run. The score would have given the Eagles a 17-6 lead, but the Cowboys would get the ball back. However, if Westbrook didn’t cross the plane of the goal line, it would simply give the Eagles a first down and the ability to run out the clock (the Cowboys having already spent their time outs). As fantasy fans began to rejoice (early) with this late score, Eagles fans watched in delight as Westbrook simply fell down on the 1-yard line. His thoughtful, heady, unselfish play let the Eagles run out the clock, and Philadelphia defeated its longtime rivals, 10-6.

Westbrook’s fantasy owners, however, wept.

A play like that, at any point of the season, would normally be cause for great discussion — who is this guy playing for, me or the Eagles? But because it came in week 15 — a playoff week in many fantasy football leagues — it was monumental. …

Westbrook was a star for his owners in 2007. He led the NFL with 2,104 yards from scrimmage and scored 12 touchdowns. But he has been portrayed as a villain by many fantasy owners for his play. Here’s a secret, though: He wasn’t the mastermind behind the fantasy and real-life game-changer. Eagles tackle Jon Runyan was the one who suggested that Westbrook lie down to eat up more clock. Figure that — an offensive lineman, normally far away from the football, coming up with the most selfless play imaginable to win a game. On the replay, Runyan can even be seen chasing Westbrook down the field instructing him to hit the turf.

“Maybe I wasn’t on his [fantasy] team,” Westbrook joked. “But no, that’s just Jon. He’s always coming up with stuff like that. He’s a smart guy. He told me that if I break the play [through the defense], I need to go down at the one.”

Listen, Brian, we’re sorry about all that hate mail we’ve been sending you over the last several months, but that play cost us our shot at our league’s postseason. So, if you don’t mind, could you please forward all our letters to Runyan, we’d appreciate it. Hopefully, you haven’t opened any of it yet; especially the package without a return address.


[]: Westbrook’s heady play was a fantasy stunner

College Football

Jump on in, the dumpster sludge feels great this time of year!

We know that different people have different hobbies and we try not to judge other people too harshly based on what they do in their free time, but when it comes to Boston College safety Jamie Silva we’ll make an exception. Dude, you’re gross.


So, because Silva is a freak, some sideline reporter has to jump into a dumpster and fish around for hair gel? Hey, at least it is somewhat refreshing to know that the women aren’t the only ones at ESPN who get treated like, ahem, garbage.


[Awful Announcing]: Quint Kessenich Is A Team Player, Jumps In Dumpster

Dallas Cowboys

Terrell Owens’ terrible towel gets him a $10K fine

No, not that towel.

We know that the NFL is trying to cut down on all the coordinated touchdown celebrations, but the league’s policing of the new rules have almost become as ridiculous as the skits themselves.

During Philadelphia’s loss crushing defeat complete annihilation humiliating obliteration by Dallas on Sunday, Terrell Owens went T.O. after scoring a touchdown and started waving around the “Terrell Owens Official Touchdown Towel” on the sideline. Like most things that Owens does, the league didn’t like it and they slapped him with a $10,000 fine on Thursday.

It’s stuff like that,” Owens said. “People try to make a big deal out of it. It’s not any different than Chad (Johnson) going to the sidelines and taking (out) a coat. All I had was a little towel, and now they want to make that into a big deal.

We gotta agree with the ego maniac on this one. We thought the commish was concerned with end zone celebrations, not sideline celebrations. Pretty soon these guys are going to have to start dancing in the parking lots if they want to have some fun after a score. Ahh, but there’s a catch to Roger Goodell’s madness because he didn’t fine Owens for his actual celebration, he went even more nitpicky and pulled out the “violating league uniform and equipment rules” card.

We know that you’re probably feeling like you’re always being picked on T.O. and you probably are. But look at it this way, Tank Johnson’s return to the league and debut with the Cowboys has to drop you down a notch on the `bad boy’ Cowboy list. Your stock has to increase in the eyes of the league, right? Right??


[]: No Fun League? T.O. fined for waving towel
[]: Towel costs Dallas Cowboys’ Owens $10K

Philadelphia Eagles

Hey, Calvin! Head over to Paddy’s Pub and tell `em we sent ya

As you’ve probably already figured out, we like to keep up with the latest fashions and trends. So, we thrilled to hear from Philadelphia Will Do that the latest fad is making fun of your favorite team. Luckily for Philadelphia Eagles fans, that shouldn’t be too hard to do. Let’s see:

Horrible record? Check!

Division cellar dwellers? Check!

Coaching controversy? Check!

Humiliating loss to division rivals? Check!

Diminished expectations? Check!

All righty then; send us over a box of those generic Calvin shirts pronto! These sound like quality, cheap Christmas gifts if you ask us. But don’t worry if you’re one of our close and dear friends; the X-Mas surprise isn’t ruined yet. You still don’t know if you’re getting an Eagles shirt, a Vick `em shirt, a West Virgina tee, a Rockies Suck shirt, or the always popular six pack of Oklahoma Sucks Beer.

See, Christmas is still on and popping this year!


[Philadelphia Will Do]: `Dallas Sucks, T.O. Swallows’ Shirt Factory Changes Course

Philadelphia Eagles

Hideous uniforms disorient Lions, allowing Kevin Curtis to go bananas

The Eagles uniforms might be the ugliest duds ever donned, but Donovan McNabb and Kevin Curtis sure did like the way they fit.

The duo hooked up for a league record tying 205 yards on nine catches in the first half of Philly’s annihilation of the Lions. With touchdowns of 68, 12 and 43 yards under his belt before halftime, fantasy owners were loving life and already writing up their smack for the upcoming week before the second half kickoff.

And if the NFL mirrors the college game, then Detroit’s defensive coordinator might want to start packing his desk a little early.

After Texas Tech gave up 610 yards of offense to Oklahoma State in a 49-45 loss, Lyle Setencich stepped down from his job as defensive coordinator with the Red Raiders. It might not go down in the books as a firing, but after hearing what `pirate master’ Mike Leach had to say about his club, we have a feeling it wasn’t solely for the “personal reasons” Setencich claims.

After the game, Leach was critical of his players and coaching staff, saying “defensively, in the entire first half, we got hit in the mouth and acted like somebody took our lunch money, and all we wanted to do was have pouty expressions on our face until somebody daubed our little tears and made us feel better.

But to make sure there were no hard feelings, Leach threw in the obligatory line of BS that every fired coach receives:

We appreciate Lyle and the work he did for our program,” Leach said. “We wish him and his family the best.

Geez, thanks coach.


[]: Curtis ties NFL record with 205 yards in first half
[]: Texas Tech coordinator resigns as defense struggles

Seattle Seahawks

Rick Tuten don’t know nothing about nothing

Rick Tuten played for 12 years in the NFL. Granted, he was a punter but he still made a pretty decent living for a dozen years. But apparently it wasn’t enough — Tuten was arrested for selling stolen goods. Police started investigating Tuten when they realized that he was named by a lot of burglars as the guy who they sold stuff to so they set up a sting.

During a taped telephone conversation, a police informant told Tuten she had two stolen flat screen televisions valued at $1,500.

According to an affidavit, Tuten replied, “I don’t know nothing about nothing.” He then instructed the woman to deliver the items to his home. Tuten paid the woman $600 for the televisions and then asked her to deliver more.

How is it possible that OJ Simpson gets to play golf every day on his NFL pension but Rick Tuten has to sell stolen goods to make ends meet? We don’t get the NFLPA.

[AOL Sports]: Ex-Punter Arrested for Selling Stolen Goods

Atlanta Falcons

Odds and Ends: Michael Vick loves animals

Vick has a message for dog lovers

Michael Vick’s publicist might just jump off a bridge. The latest incident involves a search of a property in Virginia owned by Vick because authorities believed that dogs were being trained there for illegal fights. Vick doesn’t live at the house but his nephew does.

Early reports indicate as many as 70 dogs on the property, including 60 pit bulls with wounds that appear to be consistent with dog-fighting. Authorities have allegedly uncovered extensive dog-fighting paraphernalia, including rape stands (used to allow fighting dogs to breed while preventing them from attacking each other), equipment used to build strength and endurance in fighting dogs, and controlled substances frequently used in dog-fighting.

Now, we shouldn’t jump to conclusions about the extent that Vick was involved… oh what the hell, let’s just jump to conclusions. How the hell do you now know what your nephew is doing on a property that you own? This is just another example of Vick’s ability to win friends and influence people. Let’s just hope that nobody was pumping the dogs with steroids.

In other news…

[SC]: The Falcons now lead the league in animal cruelty

[]: Meet Brian Westbrook’s brother, Byron. No, that’s not confusing at all.

[The Offside]: Croatian Footballer Given a Sheep for Every Goal he Scores. What he does with it is up to him.

[The Big Picture]: What movie sporting event would you have liked to attend in person?

[Our Book of Scrap]: Tony Stewart says NASCAR is fixed

And finally, if you have a lot of time to waste, you can watch cheddar as it ripens. Seriously. Or like us, you can sit around and wonder, “hey whatever happened to Bridget Fonda?” and “why does Nic Cage suck so much?”

Philadelphia Eagles

Odds and Ends: The Oregon Ducks are off the hook

Who puked up this color scheme?

The Philadelphia Eagles are celebrating their 75th season in the National Football League, so in order to commemorate the occasion, the Eagles will be dressed in the franchise’s 1933 throwback uniforms.

Oh, but these aren’t just any unis; these are quite possibly the ugliest uniforms ever worn in the history of sports. We’re not sure is if the purpose is to commemorate or humiliate the team but either way Philly fans can turn in their traditional green for yellow and baby blue on September 23 when the Eagles host the Lions.

In other news…

[Lion In Oil]: The Braves can get you into a slightly used seat with 90-day, interest free financing; so, do we have a deal?

[Steroid Nation]: Pit bulls are now being accused of having connections with BALCO

[]: From America’s Team to Arena Football: The Quincy Carter Story

[]: Time is almost up for you to own your Red Sox World Series ring. Don’t delay, act now!

And finally, here’s a story of a man in Germany who had a bit too much to drink one night and fell asleep with a horse inside of a bank’s lobby. The couple was discovered the next morning by employees heading into work. The man said that he only had a “few beers” and we believe him; hell, Al Reynolds slept with Star Jones when she was a fat load and he wasn’t even drunk.

Texas Rangers

Odds and Ends: Six Degrees of Kenny Lofton

We stumbled upon this amazing stat today on 87% of active players have roomed with Lofton. How is that even possible? That’s gotta be a misprint right? He’d be like the Derek Jeter Justin Timberlake of baseball, hitting hotel rooms with everyone in sight. We think the writer was using one of them artistic license thingamajigs. Nonetheless, it’s pretty amazing the number of unis Lofton has donned over the years.

Kenny Lofton broke into the majors in 1991 with the Astros, spent 9 seasons with the Indians (with a stint in Atlanta to break up the monotony) and since then has played for a different team (or two) every season. 2002: White Sox, Giants. 2003: Cubs, Pirates. 2004: Yankees. 2005: Phillies. 2006: Dodgers. 2007: Rangers. Wow. What a baseball ho.

In other news:

[]: Athlete stock exchange? It’s one way for college players like Kevin Durant to get paid.

[SignOnSanDiego]: Teenage matador who left Spain because they ban teenage matadors gets gored by bull in Mexico. Of course.

[Flash Warner]: In case you needed more evidence that Bode Miller is a bitch.

[Yay Sports]: Sure, Danny Ainge has made a mistake… or 5.

[The Hater Nation]: Damn, you’d think Tom Coughlin shtupped his wife or something. Give it a rest, Tiki.

And finally, a couple of youtube videos that prove that video blogging is a BAD BAD idea. First, a Cowboys fan calls out an Eagles blogger. And then an Eagles fan(?) compares Eagles fans and Cowboys fans to Shiite and Sunni muslims and asks, can’t we just get along?