New York Giants

Michael Strahan hates the NFL

Oh the sexual tension!

We know that the life of a professional football player isn’t all money and hos. For most players, it’s a very short ride — the average length of an NFL career is around 3.5 years. But even if you last a long time in the league, chances are all that wear and tear on your body will leave you a shell of your former self once you hit 40. Still, being beat up after making a few million a year is better than, say, getting beat up every day working in a coal mine and not having the money to show for it. So even though we kinda understand where Strahan is coming from in this except from his upcoming book, we don’t exactly feel sorry for him.

You want to be an NFL star? You want to stand in my shoes? Let’s say one day I came to you and offered you a million dollars to let me take a huge hunting knife and wear down the blade until it was rusty and really dull. Then, when it’s really dull and nasty, I would stick it into a pit of burning coals until the blade was white-hot. Finally, I would pull that sucker out of the flames and stab you over and over and over again. Take that blade and stab you in the ankles, your feet and your wrists. Not just stick it in but turn that rusty old knife and twist it when it’s sunk deep into your knees or shoulders.

That is the reality of my NFL. Every single year I have somebody sink this awful, dreadful blade into a few parts of my body.

Geez, Mike, whatever happened to ‘for the love of the game’? Could this be another stab at Tom Coughlin, who Tiki has said is too hard on players during practices?

If he feels this angry about the NFL, we can’t wait to read what he has to say about his ex-wife Jean who took his mansion and $15M of his hard earned money, and implied that he was gay.


New York Giants

Odds and Ends: Jean Strahan has a garage sale

As if a $15M divorce settlement and $18k a month in child support wasn’t enough, Jean Strahan, ex-wife of Michael Strahan decided to sell off a few of the items from their her $3.6M mansion in Montclair, NJ. She sold cocktail dresses, handmade rugs, antiques, and a couple of TVs among other things. A diehard Giants fan said he got two televisions for $100.

She advertised the garage sale in a local paper and tons of people were lining up to take a look at the stuff. Since she doesn’t exactly need the money, this was just a way of her throwing it in Michael Strahan’s face. The police were called multiple times to chase away reporters.

By the way, there’s no truth to the rumor that among the items being sold was a cancelled check written to Brett Favre with “Sack record” in the memo.

In other news…

[ESPN]: Mets fans will do anything to give their team an advantage

[NY Post]: Paul Lo Duca wins his first horserace as an owner.

[Steroid Nation]: Victor Conte picks up right where he left off

[San Jose Mercury News]: Stanford swimming coach suspended two months for… removing records of some of his swimmers from the media guide.

[USA Today]: NFL Network gets a leg up on the Draft telecast wars by putting a camera on Joe Thomas’ fishing boat.

[Mondesi’s House]: Any question whether NHL players are the toughest athletes? Sidney Crosby has played the last 4 weeks with a broken foot

[basketbawful]: The Bulls have no chance against the Heat (and here’s why)

And finally, Our Book of Scrap takes a look at the welcome wagon that will be waiting for the International Olympic Committee as they evaluate Chicago’s bid for the 2016 Olympics.

Texas Rangers

Odds and Ends: Six Degrees of Kenny Lofton

We stumbled upon this amazing stat today on 87% of active players have roomed with Lofton. How is that even possible? That’s gotta be a misprint right? He’d be like the Derek Jeter Justin Timberlake of baseball, hitting hotel rooms with everyone in sight. We think the writer was using one of them artistic license thingamajigs. Nonetheless, it’s pretty amazing the number of unis Lofton has donned over the years.

Kenny Lofton broke into the majors in 1991 with the Astros, spent 9 seasons with the Indians (with a stint in Atlanta to break up the monotony) and since then has played for a different team (or two) every season. 2002: White Sox, Giants. 2003: Cubs, Pirates. 2004: Yankees. 2005: Phillies. 2006: Dodgers. 2007: Rangers. Wow. What a baseball ho.

In other news:

[]: Athlete stock exchange? It’s one way for college players like Kevin Durant to get paid.

[SignOnSanDiego]: Teenage matador who left Spain because they ban teenage matadors gets gored by bull in Mexico. Of course.

[Flash Warner]: In case you needed more evidence that Bode Miller is a bitch.

[Yay Sports]: Sure, Danny Ainge has made a mistake… or 5.

[The Hater Nation]: Damn, you’d think Tom Coughlin shtupped his wife or something. Give it a rest, Tiki.

And finally, a couple of youtube videos that prove that video blogging is a BAD BAD idea. First, a Cowboys fan calls out an Eagles blogger. And then an Eagles fan(?) compares Eagles fans and Cowboys fans to Shiite and Sunni muslims and asks, can’t we just get along?

New York Giants

Tom Coughlin is second only to Hitler

You know, no matter what the context is, you should probably never mention having characteristics in common with Hitler. Ever. Here’s Coughlin responding to a question about being bashed by the media:

I hear some of it and I see it. You know (VP of communications Pat) Hanlon tells me about it, what’s going on. Hitler and then me, in that order. Unfortunate, but it is.

So Colonel Tom is trying to make a point that he’s almost as hated as Adolf Hitler. Probably not the best of ideas. Unless you’re Mel Gibson’s dad, you know that Hitler killed millions of innocent people. Coughlin, on the other hand, is a football coach. Please. Listen Tom, it’s true, you’re a tool and people hate you but nowhere near second antichrist. You probably rank somewhere between that Sanjaya kid from American Idol and Curt Schilling on the hate scale.

[MSNBC]: ‘Hitler and then me,’ Giants’ Coughlin says

[Sports Pickle]: Tom Coughlin Seizes Power in Germany (from 2004!)

New York Giants

Amani Toomer really chose poorly

Is that a urine stain?

What is it with the NY Giants and their wives? First, Michael Strahan’s wife insinuates that he’s gay, then Yoko Barber basically orders Tiki to retire and now Amani Toomer’s wife has turned out to be the most insane of all.

In their divorce/annulment proceedings, the dirty laundry of their marriage has been aired… and most of it doesn’t shine a very good light on Toomer’s wife, Yola Dabrowski. According to Toomer, Yola committed fraud when marrying him (and shouldn’t get a dime of his money) because she refused to change her name to Toomer, refuses to have a big family like they discussed — hell, refusing to even have one kid as she had 3 or 4 abortions without his knowledge or consent, won’t cook, clean or take medication for her depression, and most egregious of all, disrespected his manhood.

Meanwhile, Yola wants half and counterclaims that Toomer is “relentlessly demanding . . . insecure and paranoid” and charges him with “extreme cruelty”. She said that he once peed on her clothes because she wouldn’t have sex with him. She also said that he “forced her to put her chiropractic career on hold so she could spend two years decorating their $2 million West New York waterfront condo.”

Wow… that Toomer sounds like a terrible guy. He probably only gave her like $500,000 to decorate the $2M apartment! The peeing thing is a bit odd though. Anyway, it sounds like that Toomer wanted a traditional wife to look good on his arm and stay home and take care of house and kids while she wanted his money. We know Toomer didn’t get what he wanted, we’ll see if she does.

[Newsday]: Testimony delayed in Toomer divorce trial

New York Giants

Tiki throws Tom under the bus

Practice? Practice? We talking
’bout practice!

Most people who quit their jobs just go quietly and try not to burn any bridges. But Tiki, with his new television contract doesn’t have any worries about running into Tom Coughlin again so he decided he might as well take a (veiled) parting shot as Coughlin.

Coach Coughlin is very hard-nosed, and I didn’t get a lot of time off, couldn’t sit down and rest myself, and so it was a constant grind – a physical grind on me that started to take its toll. The grind took its toll on me and really forced me to start thinking about what I wanted to do next. And that’s not a bad thing. That’s a good thing, for me at least. Maybe not for the Giants, because they lose one of their great players, but for me, it is.

There’d be days where I couldn’t move on Tuesday or Wednesday at practice, and he’d get mad at me for going half-speed. And I told him, ‘Coach, I can’t do it. I’m gonna be out here, I’m never gonna miss a practice, but I can’t give you what you want all the time.’ And he understood.

We were in full pads for 17 weeks, and with the amount of injuries that we had, it just takes a toll on you. You just physically don’t want to be out there when your body feels the way you do in full pads. And while it probably doesn’t have a really detrimental effect on how you practice or how you play, it does on your mind. And if you lose your mind in this game, you lose a lot. And that’s something that he has to realize. And I think he does [now].

First of all, we love how Tiki calls himself one of the great Giants players without hesitation. Second, Tiki must still have a lot of good friends on the team because this statement was calculated to give them a break next year and perhaps a permanent break once Coughlin is fired after the 2007-2008 season.


NFL General

Odds and Ends: The NFL is serious about those copyright laws

Fall Creek Baptist Church in Indianapolis wants to throw a Super Bowl The Big Game Party for members and guests but the NFL has put the kibosh on the event because it would violate copyright laws. The church planned on showing the game on a 12 foot screen but the law says it can only show it on one TV no bigger than 55 inches. While it clearly states in the U.S. constitution the separation of Church and NFL, this is insane. You can watch NFL broadcasts online via a bunch of TV over IP applications (if you know where to look) but a group of churchgoers can’t gather to watch the Super Bowl? NFL lawyers will have a special express line for hell. (Thanks to Can’t Stop the Bleeding for the photo and their excellent headline: “NFL to Christ: Fuck off”.)

In other news…

[Newsday]: Dolphins lose a home game, Giants benefit again

[MSNBC]: Super Bowl Myths

[KETV Omaha]: The wrestler who started the herpes outbreak in Minnesota is from Nebraska

[Sports By Brooks]: Which Super Bowl Champion t-shirt will some third world country get?

[ESPN]: What’s this? A feel good story from ESPN?

[Sportsline]: 50 types of annoying people at your Super Bowl party

New York Giants

Bad Rumor Alert: Parcells to the Giants?

Remember that “false rumor mongerer” Adam Schefter, the one who predicted that the Raiders would fire Art Shell after one season? Well, he’s got a new rumor floating about: The Giants are trying to lure Parcells back to the NY Giants as GM.

Schefter is reporting that, even though it’s a long shot, the Giants are considering hiring Bill Parcells to come in and clean house. However, an artile in the Star-Ledger (NJ) claims that Bill Parcells was the one who contacted the Giants about becoming GM but the Giants said no thanks. NY wants someone to be there long term and with his age and recent wanderings, no one expects Parcells to be in his next (or current) job very long.

We would love to see Parcells back in the Big Apple. It would make for interesting press conferences and media coverage, not to mention the two times a year that the Giants go up against the Cowboys. Parcells leaving would also leave the door open for TO to blow up in Dallas and call his head coach a moron and say how he’s very happy to have the new head coach (Mike Martz/Denny Green/Bill Cowher/whoever) directing the offense and exploting what he “brings to the table”.

Alas… it is not to be. But can we all agree that there is no way in hell that Parcells and Owens will be on the same team next year? Or at least past the trade deadline next year.


[]: Parcells may be lured back to Big Apple

[]: Giants: Say no thanks to Parcells

NFL General

Jan 8 in Sports History: The Music City Miracle

After the 90.5 degree lateral from Wycheck

In 2000: An otherwise nondescript AFC Wild Card game suddenly found itself joining the Immaculate Reception, the Hail Mary and The Drive in pantheon of unbelievable playoff finishes. The Tennessee Titans were locked in a defensive struggle with the visiting Buffalo Bills in the first playoff game of the new millennium. The Bills rallied from a 12-point deficit in the second half and took their first lead of the game at 16-15 with only 16 seconds left. On the ensuing kickoff, Tennessee’s Lorenzo Neal fielded the ball and handed it to H-Back Frank Wycheck. Wycheck threw the ball across the field to Kevin Dyson, who ran 75 yards for the touchdown. The Titans had to wait out a lengthy review by referee Phil Luckett (who was the Forrest Gump of the NFL in the late 90’s–he seemed to be involved in every major event), but the play stood and “the Music City Miracle” was on the list. The Bills protested that it was a forward pass by Wycheck and the play shouldn’t have stood, but replays show that the play was a lateral.

In 2003: Two Wild Card games played back-to-back provided NFL fans with one of the most exciting days of football ever. First, in Pittsburgh, the Steelers trailed 24-7 and 33-21 before rallying to beat the Cleveland Browns 36-33, despite 433 yards passing by Brown’s backup Kelly Holcomb. Then in San Francisco, the 49ers fell behind the NY Giants 38-14 in the second half before rallying to take a 39-38 lead behind Jeff Garcia and Terrell Owens. The last play of the afternoon summed up the entire day. The Giants lined up for a game-winning field goal attempt but the snap was botched, and holder Matt Allen scrambled right and heaved a desperation pass to Giants’ guard Rich Seubert (who was an eligible receiver). Seubert was blatantly interfered with by the 49ers’ Chike Okeafor, but the referees instead penalized the Giants for an illegal man downfield. If the referees had called offsetting penalties (or if Allen had just spiked the ball—it was third down) the Giants could’ve had another shot at winning the game. The 49ers, for some reason, didn’t let the Giants play at Tampa the next week in their stead.

NFL General

Dec 28 in Sports History: The Greatest Game Ever Played

In 1958: It is known as the “Greatest Game Ever Played,” and it was the first NFL game to go into overtime. The Colts, led by a young Johnny Unitas, defeated the New York Giants 23-17 in Yankee Stadium to win the NFL championship. The highly anticipated game saw the Colts blow a 14-3 halftime lead, only to rally to tie the game in the final seconds behind the coolness of Unitas. Fullback Alan Ameche’s famous one-yard plunge clinched Baltimore’s first NFL title. The game was a coming out party for Unitas, who, a few years earlier was a Pittsburgh Steelers castoff playing semi-pro ball. He completed 26 of 40 passes for 349 yards, and converted many key first downs. Not only did the game make Unitas an icon, the high television ratings were a sign of things to come for the burgeoning league. The Colts defeated the Giants again the following year in the NFL Championship game

In 1975: The “Hail Mary” was born on a frozen Metropolitan Stadium field in Minnesota. Trailing the Vikings 14-10 with just 24 seconds left to play, Dallas Cowboys’ quarterback Roger Staubach flung a desperation pass from the 50-yard line down the right sideline in the direction of receiver Drew Pearson and Vikings’ defender Nate Wright. Pearson came down with it at the 5 and ran into the end zone for the stunning score. The Vikings protested that Pearson had pushed off Wright (which he later admitted to intentionally doing), but the field judge (who was hit in the head with a whiskey bottle for missing the call) upheld the touchdown and the Cowboys stole one from the Vikings 17-14. The Cowboys won the following week on the road as well, before losing to Pittsburgh in the Super Bowl.