Tag: baseball

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MLB General

Baseball’s underutilized sexual innuendos


Sports are peppered with tons of sexual innuendos. Personally, we can’t hear the description “deep penetration” without giggling like little school girls. And we all know about getting to first, second, and, if you’re lucky, third base with a chick. But what about the underappreciated other metaphors that rarely see the light of day? They’re out there, you just probably never understood the references behind the everyday descriptions. So, here are some phrases besides “slump buster” to listen for the next time you’re watching a baseball game or listening to your buddies talk about their weekends on the prowl.

Sacrifice Fly: A term describing the act of “taking one for the team”. You sacrifice your dignity and get with a below average friend of a girl so that he can score.

First Base Coach: This represents your wingman. Once you get to first, he advises you to either make your way to second or stop at first if he knows you won’t make it.

Check Your Swing: This symbolizes being about to get with a girl, but then at the last moment decide that it’s not a good idea, and that you’ll try your chances when a better girl/pitch comes along.

Fielder’s Choice: This term comes into play when 2 guys are both trying to get with the same girl, and you know that she is going to throw one of them out and one is going to reach base.

Foul Ball: This has the simple meaning of being shut down, but in a nice way. You try to put the ball in the field of play to get on any base, but you a turned away and must try again on a different pitch.

Ace: This is a girl that rarely lets any guys get on base. Only if a guy is a really good hitter will he have any chance of getting anywhere with this girl.

Bases Loaded: This is just a full out orgy. You have a guy on first base, second base, and third base all at the same time, all within the same area. If you reach base, you know at least one of them is going to reach home plate.

Strikeout Looking: This term means the girl has given the guy a clear sign she wants him on one of the bases, but he just lets it go by and the opportunity is lost.

Stealing Home: Rape.

Links:

[CollegeHumor.com]: Less Common Baseball Sex Terms

Categories
MLB General

Odds and Ends: Wolverine?! We always pegged Robin as an All Star catcher


If you’re anything like us then a lot of your childhood consisted of comic books and sports. When our nose wasn’t buried in the latest edition of X-Men, Punisher or Green Lantern, we would be pretending we possessed super powers while trying to school each other on court/field/diamond/whatever. So, when Brahsome.com released their 2008 Super Hero All-Stars, we instantly thought “What the hell! Why isn’t Nightcrawler playing in the outfield?!?”

1. Flash (SS) — We don’t need to explain why Flash is at the top of the lineup do we? A ridiculous combination of OBP and stolen bases, the only thing keeping him from being the perfect leadoff man is that he doesn’t speak in the third person.

2. Spiderman (CF) — You think Torii Hunter can climb walls? Please. Spidey sense tells him how to line up the defense and his webbing and speed turns him into some freakish combination of Willie Mays and Junior. Plus, it just seems like he could slap singles all day long.

3. Superman (LF) — X-Ray vision and faster than a speeding bullet probably don’t “hurt” anyone in the batter’s box. Flying isn’t a bad superpower to rock out in the field either.

4. The Thing (DH) — An incredibly strong dude made of literal rock isn’t much good for anything besides cleaning up. Like Papi, but with less fat and more taterjacks.

5. Batman (3B) — The only man on the planet with more tools than David Wright.

6. Wolverine (C) — Just in case you thought you got through the heart of the order, Wolvie is here to gnash at six. Literally a meast. And obviously not someone you want to try and bowl over at home plate. Shink-shink, son.

7. Punisher (RF) — He doesn’t really have any “super” powers, per se. But go ahead, try and tag up from second to third and see if he doesn’t gun your ass down. Go ahead. No, really. Guns.

8. Mr. Fantastic (1B) — If it seems like he might be a better fit elsewhere in the field, just remember that he has a decent reach and range on throws over to first. Also see: collapsible strike zones.

9. Captain America (2B) — Kind of like the Mark Lemke of super heroes, he’s not particularly great at anything. But he works his ass off. And he’s American. Plus, he can’t possibly be worse than Dan Uggla.

SP: Human Torch — What can we say? The guy’s got a gascan attached to his right arm. (Would you prefer “he throws fire?”)

CL: The Hulk — You could argue that you want the Hulk to bat. But what happens when this loser steps up to the plate? Plus, just wait until the top of the ninth and put matches in between his toes or tell him Torch f’d his sister and all of a sudden your closer makes Papelbon look like Ghandi.

In other news…

[AZSportsHub.com]: Chris Snyder would like to encase his balls in protective steel one day, but a Nutty Buddy will work for now

[SportsBy Brooks.com]: Beware Be scared of flying bats

[The Beardown]: 10 reasons why Europe is wrong for Jennings

[Football Jabber]: “Legacy?!? We spit in the face of our legacies!”

[Reuters.com]: They thought it was a hot dog eating competition. It’s an innocent mistake

[East Coast Bias]: Ugliest famous faces in sports

[SI.com]: So, ESPYs, does the carpet match the drapes?

[OrlandoSentinel.com]: A brief history of athletes showing all in Playboy

[Tirico Suave]: Oh those zany McCowns

[The World of Isaac]: Breaking down the finer points of Charles Barkley’s golf swing

And finally, hey, is that a young John Cena?

Categories
MLB General

"That call stunk worse than my shoe or my sweaty armpit!! Here, smell! See, told ya!"

Easily the most entertaining minor league manager blow-up since that guy starting doing the belly crawl and tossing imaginary grenades at the umpire.

Categories
All Other Sports

There’s a reason why announcers hide in a booth, they’re fraidy cats

If you think watching a minor league baseball game is boring, just try working at one. Here’s how the guys in the booth for the Trenton Thunder break-up the mind-numbing monotony.

Wow, even this chick thought that was a pretty funny practical joke.

Links:

[SI.com]: Hot Clicks

Categories
All Other Sports

How about this for a curveball? Switch hitter vs. switch pitcher

The old saying goes, baseball is about 90 percent mental and 10 percent physical. However, we kinda think the adage came around before the sport’s introduction to steroids, but we’re going to take it at face value for argument’s sake. So, in that case, this must be one of the most monumental mind game moments in the history of the sport.

Categories
General Sports

Odds and Ends: Who knew MS baseball players knew about slump busters?

An Alabama middle school teacher is facing 20 years on sex abuse offenses after getting busy with nearly the entire baseball team! We’re guessing her defense will be it was all just a means of expressing team spirit.

A teacher has been accused of having sex with eight members of a school baseball team.

Julie Pritchett began a relationship with a 15-year-old boy in February. The 34-year-old married teacher later approached other members of the team for sex.

The incidents allegedly took place both on school premises and at the boys’ homes while their parents were out.

She was discovered when one of the 15-year-old boys at the school, in the town of Trussville, Alabama, told his parents. They alerted the police.

Pritchett, who taught at Clay-Chalkville Middle School, has been charged with two counts of sedomy and one count of sexual abuse.

Eat your heart out, Pokey Chatman.

In other news…

[MentalFloss.com]: Test your NBA Draft fashion knowledge

[Larry Brown Sports]: So, who’s going third in the NBA Draft?

[OrlandoSentinel.com]: Vince McMahon was almost killed during RAW. No, for real this time!

[Bleacher Report]: Is it really possible to hate anything about college football?

[Can’t Stop The Bleeding]: Don Imus will never learn his lesson

[NextRound.net]: Top 30 porn names in Major League Baseball

[YouTube.com]: “On today’s episode of Will It Blend?: A baseball!”

[MMARated.com]: Jesse Taylor talks about being a total douche

[NYPost.com]: Dude #1: “Dude, wanna skateboard from Chicago to New York?”
Dude #2: “Dude, totally!”

[FoxNews.com]: Wait, did you just say “crap cannon?”

And finally, from Tirico Suave (via Busted Coverage), quite possibly the funniest video of all-time.

Categories
MLB General

More painful baseball shenanigans

Remember when kids actually used batting cages as batting cages. Nowadays, these crazy whipper-snappers see the cage as one thing and one thing only: the perfect spot to create their Jackass audition tape.

Categories
MLB General

Batting practice just got fun again

Some guys are just born lucky, growing up with all the advantages needed to help them become baseball legends, like Ken Griffey Jr. or Barry Bonds. Others kids aren’t so fortunate. In fact, some us couldn’t even afford balls when we aspiring big leaguers, but, hey, that’s what lil’ brothers are for.

Categories
Boston Celtics

Odds and Ends: How well do you know Rajon Rondo?


You’d think Rajon Rondo would have enough on his plate as it is with the bum ankle and The NBA Finals going on and all, but Rondo is no normal man. See, while he’s rehabbing and studying tape, he’s also giving back to all his fans out there. But you better know your random Rondo trivia.

I’m going to challenge you with some trivia – see how much you know about me. Get the answers right and I’ll send you an autographed headband. If a bunch of people get them right then I’ll hit the first three. I’m going to do this every day through the rest of the Finals so if you don’t get the first one right you’ll have another shot.

We’ll start with a high school question. I went to Oak Hill Academy and 2004 I set the school record for most assists in a game with 31. Who’s record did I break?

Get it right and I’m sending you a headband. Hit me back. I’ll holla

In other news…

[The Slanch Report]: Nutty 50 minute brawl at minor league baseball game

[Sportaphile.com]: Vernon Davis grabs some of Flavor Flav’s sloppy seconds

[The World of Isaac]: Fights you’d love to watch over and over and over again

[YardBarker.com]: What do we gotta do to get this kid in the ring with Chris Leben?

[Epic Carnival]: 10 reasons sports should go green

[TMZ.com]: Tommy Lasorda is old and impatient

[MixMakers.net]: Paul Pierce’s special edition jersey hits the shelves

And finally, the evolution of the fist bump.

Categories
All Other Sports

Pitcher/catcher duo make home plate umpire think twice about his calls

We’ve all played baseball at some point and been totally screwed by the ump. Normally, you just have to suck it up and feel the burn because, after all, you can’t go out and throw a ball at face or anything…or can you?

Links:

[Larry Brown Sports]: How to Send a Message to the Umpire