golf
This is a fantastic commercial by EA Sports for the new Tiger Woods 09. It was made in response to a guy who found a glitch in Tiger Woods 08 that let him play in the water.
By the way, are you allowed to dip your club in the water like that when playing from a lily pad? Or is that like playing out of a bunker?
We all knew that golf without Tiger Woods was going to be tough, but nobody expected it to be this brutal. It’s like watching the Bulls dynasty play without Michael Jordan. Sure, it’s a’ight, but if Leave It to Beaver comes on or it starts raining outside your window then you’re probably going to be easily distracted. Yup, life without Tiger sure does suck and here’s a catchy tune so you don’t ever forget it.
Golf courses are getting harder and harder everyday. Between the woods, the water and the rough, most amateur hackers have their hands full just completing all 18 holes. And that was before some courses started implementing golf’s newest hazard: the armed robber.
An armed robbery on the golf course at Brynwood Country Club Saturday morning startled a foursome and their caddies, but could not keep the club’s golfers from their game.
When the party of six, four golfers and two caddies, reached the 16th tee shortly after 11 a.m. a lone gunman emerged from nearby woods and said, “Give me your money,” according to police.
Armed with a handgun and covering his face with a mask, the gunman robbed two of the golfers and one of the caddies before fleeing into the woods at the club, located at 6200 W. Good Hope Road.
Officials at the club said the foursome finished their round of golf following the incident.
Finished their round, huh? Sounds like these dudes were either some really cool customers or somebody in the foursome invested in the discrete urinary necessity, the UroClub.
Links:
[Steady Burn]: Golfers Robbed at Gun Point on the 16th Tee
[TheWeirdPost.com]: Golfers robbed on the 16th tee, continued their round of golf
Golf is a great game for youngsters. It is capable of teaching kids a plethora of life skills like patience, planning, decision-making and sportsmanship to name a few. Oh, and it prepares them for life at the nuddie bar as well.
The latter event featured patrons of the strip club paired with dancers who served as caddies. Broomfield Police later broke up the event after complaints from neighbors.
“It was mistiming,” said Eagle Trace Manager Evelyn Koch.
Koch says she has personally apologized to angry parents who have called Eagle Trace. She admits the exotic dancers should not have been in the clubhouse at the same time as the children, but downplayed the idea that the kids witnessed risqué behavior.
“I cannot tell you the girls didn’t flash out there,” Koch said. “But it wasn’t a free-for-all.”
“There was nothing inappropriate going on around the clubhouse when the kids were around,” said golf instructor Dustin Moser, who said the racier action took place later. “There was a handful of girls that got a little out of control.”
Moser admitted several dancers were scolded for “top-dropping.”
Golf course workers say the Shotgun Willie’s dancers were not allowed to strip down to their bikinis until after the children had been picked up by their parents.
“They were not allowed to go topless,” said Koch. “They were just flirting with the guys.”
“When I walked into the club house to look for my girls, I saw a woman straddling a male at a dining table,” said a mother who picked up her two children at the golf club.
The woman, who asked not to be identified, contacted 9NEWS after the story was first reported. She says she felt Eagle Trace Golf Club was trying to minimize what happened.
She says her children had quite a few questions on the ride home.
“‘Mom, why is she only wearing underwear?'” she recalled. “‘Mom, why are the girls wearing white and why do the men have water guns?'”
Sounds like it’s time to teach that kid about “Fore!” play.
Links:
[9News.com]: Mulligan! Kids golf tourney overlaps with strip club’s event
If you can’t make it out to the driving range and you’ve really got an itching to smack some balls then the safest place to aim would be into a massive body of water, right? Well, sorta; depends on who you’re trying to protect.
Incredible Golf Ball Ricochet Accident – Watch more free videos
With Tiger Woods’ season officially coming to a close, the PGA is starting to sweat bullets over losing the game’s biggest draw. So, here’s a list of 10 Thing The PGA Tour Can Do To Increase Attendance, according to The World of Isaac, while Tiger’s getting nursed back to health by Elin.
9. Give Natalie Gulbis an honorary PGA membership for the Summer.
8. Fans get free copies of the next hottest Calendar: The Women of the PGA tour
7. Make Phil Mickelson wear “The Bro” outside his shirt (Big Endorsement)
6. Randomly choose one golfer to get Nancy Kerrigan’d every week and make him limp around the course. Hey, the drama worked for Tiger?
5. Make worse than a bogey=Keg Stand at the next hole
4. If somebody screams “Get in the Hole” and it doesn’t go in, make that fan strip naked and run for his life
3. Have a Tim Finchem Dunk Tank at the turn
2. Bring back some old cranky dudes from the Senior tour. Let them go at it from the ladies tee, let them ride carts, let them foot wedge it out of the rough
1. KY Jelly and Mud Wrestling in every available Pond
In other news…
[The Sports Muffin]: Meet Pat Venditte, he’s amphibious
[The Recliner GM]: The Best and Worst of the NBA Draft
[Irish Band of Brothers]: Get ready for more crappy Notre Dame football on NBC
[The Cuban Revolution]: Mark ain’t the only Cuban who can blog
[Clubhouse Cancer]: Glen Davis is enjoying his championship reign
[850TheBuzz.com]: Doug Christie’s wife allows Doug Christie to do a radio interview
[Flatusyahu.com]: Bull Durham gets a facelift
[Can’t Stop The Bleeding]: “In a way, that I hoped I shoved it up to somebody’s butt”
[YouTube]: Lacrosse cheerleader takes one for the team
[PartMule.com]: According to Jason Kidd, the Chuckster isn’t gambling
And finally, it worked for Eminem and Dido, so why can’t it work for Ron Artest and Alicia Keys?
The entire nation was practically pulling for Tiger Woods last weekend when he was playing in agony with a bum wheel last weekend at the U.S. Open. Well, almost the entire nation. Turns out that Retief Goosen thinks the Oscar for worst acting should have gone to Tiger.
Asked if he felt Woods could have been faking it, Goosen said: “I think so.”
“You see when he made the putts and he went down on his knees and shouting `yeah’, his knee wasn’t sore. Nobody knows if he was just showing off or if he was really injured, and I believe if he was injured he would not have played. But it was a great win.”
I like Goosen’s I think the sonofabitch faked the whole thing but it was a great win approach. Slam a guy and then clean it up with a throwaway compliment. When pressed about his comments Retief said he was just kidding.. Sort of.
“I was being light-hearted.”
“No one but Tiger knows how badly hurt he was. But if he was really badly hurt, he would have withdrawn wouldn’t he?”
In other news…
[HotStoveNewYork.com]: You got your ring, now scram!
[Answer this…]: NASCAR officials are racists and sexists…no way!
[The Sports Muffin]: List of the top 10 MMA fighters. Sorry, Jesse Taylor didn’t make the cut
[HeismanPundit.com]: Who Won’t Win The Heisman
[LGTexter.com]: Move over competitive eaters, you have some serious competition in the dork department
[Comcast.net]: Moustache mania
[eBay]: Moustache mania part deux
[eTrueSports.com]: New York’s newest power couple
[Cuzoogle.com]: 10 Wheaties boxes you will never see
[The Legend of Cecilio Guante]: Somehow, Man-Ram didn’t make the MLB’s All-Crazy Team
And finally, we bring you the story of a defective thong.
The plaintiff in the case, Macrida Patterson, 52, attributed the May 2007 injury to a Victoria’s Secret “low-rise v-string,” according to a court document posted on The Smoking Gun.
Patterson’s lawyer told The Smoking Gun that a “design problem” caused a decorative metallic piece on the underwear to fly up and hit Patterson in the eye while she was putting the underwear on.
Patterson’s product liability lawsuit was filed in Los Angeles Superior Court last week.
The Smoking Gun reported that, prior to the lawsuit, officials from Victoria’s Secret had asked to see the offending underwear but were refused by Patterson’s lawyer.
When you go golfing, what’s the biggest problem you encounter? Oh, and getting the beer girl’s number and breaking par don’t count. Obviously, the answer is finding a decent spot to piss. While most normal dudes will just head for the nearest tree or, if you’re our friends, the nearest unattended golf bag, the UroClub allows you to stick your unit in the handle of a replica 7 iron and relieve yourself while taking a couple practice swings. Call us old school, but we’re heading for the woods.
The privacy shield hooks to the sides of the pants or belt and adds stability. This allows freedom of the hands to manipulate the club and zipper.
The entire club is made of a non-porous material. Therefore, caring and cleaning is effortless!
The UroClub is intended to eliminate anxiety and any feeling of uneasiness on the course. It can be emptied at the nearest restroom or later on, when the golfer returns home.
Capacity: Over half a liter, twice the volume commonly urinated.
Length: Like a standard 7 Iron
Special wholesale prices are directed to encourage club makers to brand UroClub and include it in their accessory lines, just like gloves or umbrellas.
Whether for your own use or for your company,
as a curiosity, or a urinary necessity, get UroClub now!
Links:
[UroClub.org]: UroClub Home
What’s funnier than seeing a grown man break down into tears over a poor performance on the links? For starters, there’s having some smug reporter chastise him on-air.
Hahahahah. That’s why you’ll never be on ESPN or CNN.
Tiger Woods gets asked a lot of dull questions and, in turn, he delivers a lot of dull answers. We love the guy but, half the times, you already know what he’s going to say before he says it. So, it’s good to see somebody break the norm and throw him a curveball every now-n-then in order to see how he reacts. Here’s one way to do it.
Embarrassing Question For Tiger Woods – Watch more free videos
Ahhh. So good to hear we’re not the only guys with that problem.
