General Sports

Odds and Ends: Who knew MS baseball players knew about slump busters?

An Alabama middle school teacher is facing 20 years on sex abuse offenses after getting busy with nearly the entire baseball team! We’re guessing her defense will be it was all just a means of expressing team spirit.

A teacher has been accused of having sex with eight members of a school baseball team.

Julie Pritchett began a relationship with a 15-year-old boy in February. The 34-year-old married teacher later approached other members of the team for sex.

The incidents allegedly took place both on school premises and at the boys’ homes while their parents were out.

She was discovered when one of the 15-year-old boys at the school, in the town of Trussville, Alabama, told his parents. They alerted the police.

Pritchett, who taught at Clay-Chalkville Middle School, has been charged with two counts of sedomy and one count of sexual abuse.

Eat your heart out, Pokey Chatman.

In other news…

[]: Test your NBA Draft fashion knowledge

[Larry Brown Sports]: So, who’s going third in the NBA Draft?

[]: Vince McMahon was almost killed during RAW. No, for real this time!

[Bleacher Report]: Is it really possible to hate anything about college football?

[Can’t Stop The Bleeding]: Don Imus will never learn his lesson

[]: Top 30 porn names in Major League Baseball

[]: “On today’s episode of Will It Blend?: A baseball!”

[]: Jesse Taylor talks about being a total douche

[]: Dude #1: “Dude, wanna skateboard from Chicago to New York?”
Dude #2: “Dude, totally!”

[]: Wait, did you just say “crap cannon?”

And finally, from Tirico Suave (via Busted Coverage), quite possibly the funniest video of all-time.


Odds and Ends: No Tiger. No problem.

With Tiger Woods’ season officially coming to a close, the PGA is starting to sweat bullets over losing the game’s biggest draw. So, here’s a list of 10 Thing The PGA Tour Can Do To Increase Attendance, according to The World of Isaac, while Tiger’s getting nursed back to health by Elin.

10. Give John Daly the go ahead to do the 18 challenge (18 Hot Dogs, 18 Beers, and 18 shots, 18 Holes)

9. Give Natalie Gulbis an honorary PGA membership for the Summer.

8. Fans get free copies of the next hottest Calendar: The Women of the PGA tour

7. Make Phil Mickelson wear “The Bro” outside his shirt (Big Endorsement)

6. Randomly choose one golfer to get Nancy Kerrigan’d every week and make him limp around the course. Hey, the drama worked for Tiger?

5. Make worse than a bogey=Keg Stand at the next hole

4. If somebody screams “Get in the Hole” and it doesn’t go in, make that fan strip naked and run for his life

3. Have a Tim Finchem Dunk Tank at the turn

2. Bring back some old cranky dudes from the Senior tour. Let them go at it from the ladies tee, let them ride carts, let them foot wedge it out of the rough

1. KY Jelly and Mud Wrestling in every available Pond

In other news…

[The Sports Muffin]: Meet Pat Venditte, he’s amphibious

[The Recliner GM]: The Best and Worst of the NBA Draft

[Irish Band of Brothers]: Get ready for more crappy Notre Dame football on NBC

[The Cuban Revolution]: Mark ain’t the only Cuban who can blog

[Clubhouse Cancer]: Glen Davis is enjoying his championship reign

[]: Doug Christie’s wife allows Doug Christie to do a radio interview

[]: Bull Durham gets a facelift

[Can’t Stop The Bleeding]: “In a way, that I hoped I shoved it up to somebody’s butt”

[YouTube]: Lacrosse cheerleader takes one for the team

[]: According to Jason Kidd, the Chuckster isn’t gambling

And finally, it worked for Eminem and Dido, so why can’t it work for Ron Artest and Alicia Keys?

Ron Artest raps over Alicia Keys


Odds and Ends: Mike Tyson still loves the ladies

We’ll never understand why Mike Tyson let his vicious mad in-ring skillz slip away. From knocking out chumps left and right one day to getting fat and slopping ink on his skull the next. It all just ended too quickly for us. Luckily, we now know that Tyson retained some talents from his heyday; in particular, the pulling down serious tail talent.

YOU’D think the whole embarrassing EVANDER HOLYFIELD episode would stop MIKE TYSON from ever going near another person’s ear.

But, alas, he’s been at it again.

This time Iron Mike didn’t draw blood as he was cosying up with none other than Big Brother party girl AISLEYNE HORGAN-WALLACE.

The former heavyweight champ arrived at London celeb haunt Chinawhite at around 1.30am and made a bee line for the clubs most secluded table, nicknamed by those who use it as the Incognito table.

Which is where pint-sized pop king PRINCE likes to sit when he visits the club.

A source who saw the couple canoodling told us: “Mike had two enormous bouncers flanking the table and proceeded to snog the ear, neck and mouth of his date….who was Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace.

“They stayed until after 3am, working their way through a bottle of Cristal.”

After the two left, the tough guy from Brookyln bought Aisleyne a rose, before they jumped in a car together and disappeared into the night.

Ear nibbling, Cristal, roses … who says romance is dead?

A knockout for a knockout artist; it’s a match made in heaven.

In other news…

[Awful Announcing]: “One ball and no strikes”

[]: Mike and Mike and Mike on MNF

[The Wizard of Odds]: Google gets even cooler

[]: Michael Jordan gets sauced with Charles Oakley

[The Big Lead]: Travis Henry will work for food and so will his nine kids

[The Phanatic Magazine]: Kimbo Slice KO’s Lord Stanley

[Sport Syndicate]: Jeff Fisher is O! Ver! Ra! Ted!

[]: More bad news for the Spurs

[Big Blue View]: A little something to subdue the Madden fever until August

[Shutdown Corner]: The NFL “exploited Pat,” according to his mom

And finally, Upside and Motor released their rankings of all No. 1 overall picks in the NBA Draft since 1980 and, as most would expect, Shaquille O’Neal and Tim Duncan are tied atop the list with four championship rings apiece, followed by David Robinson at No. 3, LeBron James at No. 4 and Akeem Olajuwon at No. 5. Surprisingly, Dwight Howard shares the fifth spot with the Dream after being in the league for just four years. But what’s even more shocking is that Kwame Brown somehow avoided the Mr. Irrelevant spot, finishing ahead of Pervis Ellison and Michael Olowokandi.

Phoenix Suns

Around the Rim: Feeling it in Phoenix

1. Suns run and run and run
The Nuggets exploded for 39 points in the first quarter last night and appeared to be well on their way to win by halftime with a 19-point advantage. But then the Suns rallied. Phoenix posted 81 points in the second half, including 46 in the fourth, to erase a lead that grew to 22 and win 132-117. Coupled with a Dallas victory over the Clippers, the loss slid Denver out of the playoff picture once again, leaving them ½ game behind Golden State for the final slot out West. Amare Stoudemire finished with a game-high 41 points and 14 rebounds to keep the Suns in the hunt for homecourt advantage in the playoffs’ opening round, tying the Lakers for the Pacific Division lead, but remaining fifth overall due to a tiebreaker. Phoenix also got double-doubles out of Shaquille O’Neal (20 pts, 12 reb) and Raja Bell (15 pts, 10 reb).

2. Jazz blast

C.J. Miles finally had his big coming-out party. Uh, not like that; we mean his on-court coming-out party. The 21-year-old who skipped out on playing for Texas to be the 34th pick in the second round of the 2005 draft scored a career-high 29 points to lead Utah past Washington 129-87. For those of you without a calculator handy, that’s 42-point blowout! The Jazz sank a team-high 15 treys while connecting on 50-of-84 shots overall and getting 40 assists. Deron Williams was responsible for 16 of those dimes to go along with 12 points and Mehmet Okur finished with 16 points, nine rebounds and five assists. After dropping an overtime game to the Lakers on Sunday, the Wizards just didn’t have anything left in the tank. And it showed. Washington managed just six fastbreak points and committed 14 turnovers against an undermanned Jazz squad that didn’t have Andrei Kirilenko due to a calf injury.

3. Pacers pop Miami
The season’s end just can’t get here fast enough for the Heat. Their season of futility and frustration continued last night with a 20-point blowout by the Pacers, 105-85. Miami dropped to 13-61 on the year with tough impossible contests against New Orleans and Detroit looming on the schedule. Things are getting so ugly in South Beach that the Heat just might break the franchise record for fewest wins in a season. Pretty hard to believe, but they were actually worse in their inaugural season of 1988-89, totaling just 15 wins for the entire year. Luckily, Pat Riley re-signed Blake Ahearn and Stephane Lasme to a pair of new 10-day contracts. All right, enough about the losers; Jermaine O’Neal made his return to the Indiana lineup after missing 33 consecutive games, scoring nine points in 18 minutes.

Monday’s Player of the Day: Amare Stoudemire vs. Denver 42 min, 41 pts (FG: 12-22, FT: 17-19), 14 reb, 2 ast, 2 stl

Tuesday’s Game to Watch: Phoenix (50-24) @ Denver (45-29)
One day later and the game is twice as nice. If you enjoyed yesterday’s battle between the Suns and Nuggets then you’ll love the rematch tonight because with one less day remaining in the season, the race for Western Conference playoff positioning is even more intense. Expect another run-n-gun shootout between these two.

Buzzer Beater: The Lopez twins threw their names in the NBA draft on Monday and, not surprisingly, even their reasons why are virtually identical.

I have always hoped I would have an opportunity to play in the NBA and I feel now is the right time to make that dream a reality,” Robin Lopez said in a statement released to the AP.

“It is the dream of every basketball player to play and succeed in the NBA and I feel I am ready to take on this new challenge,” Brook Lopez said.

NBA General

2007 NBA Draft: The Northwest Division gets a serious facelift

The future is now for the NBA’s stars of tomorrow.

Wow! It’s been a long time since the NBA has seen that much action in one night; we’re talking about Wilt Chamberlain on a Saturday night type of action here. The night got kicked off when David Stern spoke those magical words that every kid grows up dreaming about:

With the first pick in the 2007 NBA Draft, the Portland Trailblazers select Greg Oden from Ohio State University.

Okay, so scratch the Portland Trailblazers part out because no kid is ever going to dream about going there, but other than that it’s a shooting star’s wish come true. That, of course, was followed by the easiest pick in the history of draft picks as Seattle scooped up the scraps left by Portland and selected Kevin Durant with the second overall pick. And by scraps, we mean the most polished freshman ever! But that was all pretty common sense stuff for the most part after rumors starting spreading on Thursday that the Blazers were committed to Oden. The real fun started after the no-brainers were off the board.

Seattle continued to change the Sonics guard and promptly shipped off Ray Allen and the rights to Big Baby Glen Davis to Boston for the fifth pick which turned out to be Jeff Green, Delonte West and Wally Szczerbiak. We’re guessing that Paul Pierce would rather have Kevin Garnett on his team, but Allen will make a nice compliment to Pierce. And in the East, there’s no telling who’s going to be making the postseason anymore.

Then there’s the evolving Portland squad that kicked the troublesome Zach Randolph out the door as soon as Oden’s name was read. And of course, Isiah Thomas was the sucker that took on the talented but troubled semi star. But we have to commend Zeke for finally getting rid of Steve Francis who has been nothing but a pain for the team since arriving. The Blazers also sent Dan Dickau and Fred Jones in the deal and New York shipped Channing Frye along with Francis. Now, Portland has a fierce front court with Oden joining a hopefully healthy LaMarcus Aldridge.

Then there are the Bobcats who are desperate to get their hands on an All-Star caliber player and ended up trading off their eighth pick in Brandan Wright for Jason Richardson. Charlotte also picked up Golden State’s second-round pick Jermareo Davidson. Warriors fans are probably pissed that they got rid of a huge part of their recent only playoff success, but it was a great move financially as Richardson is owed $51 million over the last four seasons on his contract.

But even after all that; the real thing that we’re going to remember this draft for is the gosh awful outfit that Joakim Noah wore to the big show. We’re sure Chicago must be so proud.

The rest of the results from the 2007 NBA Draft, broken down by team, can be found after the jump.

NBA General

Around the Rim: The finals are finally underway

1. King sized stage fright
Everyone seems to be pulling for the Cavaliers in the finals but we’re not hearing too many people bet against the Spurs in the series and in Game 1, San Antonio showed why. The Spurs cruised to an easy 85-76 victory in which the Cavs were close at times but never challenged the former champs. Of course, it’s going to be tough for Cleveland to win a game against anyone when their being led in scoring by Daniel Gibson (16 points). With all the LeBron James talk that has been shoved down our throats since Game 5 of the East Finals, the young King didn’t look anything like MJ or Magic or Bird or any other legend for that matter. LBJ finished with just 14 points on 4-of-16 shooting that included a dismal 0-for-7 first half and Bruce Bowen gets to accept a majority of the credit for that. Cleveland can not win when James plays like he did but the Cavs are really going to be up a certain, smelly creek without a paddle if Tim Duncan and Tony Parker continue getting everything they want offensively. Parker had a game-high 27 points as his interior penetration (Huh-huh; we said penetration) carved up the Cleveland defense like a Thanksgiving turkey. And Tim Duncan was, well, Tim Duncan; do we really need to say any more than that?

2. Orlando tells Donovan to go to hell

It was getting pretty sticky in Orlando after Billy Donovan did one of the fastest 180 degree turns in the history of professional sports. But the Magic are ready to forget all about ol’ what’s his name and quickly solidify their young club with a committed head coach. And even though it cost `em a second-round pick, Orlando got their man in Stan Van Gundy; hopefully SVG sticks around a little longer. Donovan might be kicking himself in a year or two when Dwight Howard develops an offensive game and begins ripping off division and, possibly, conference titles. Van Gundy has got to be pinching himself when he looks at his new roster; his boys might be young and raw but their potential is almost unlimited. And you know that those players are going to hold a grudge against Billy the Kid for this slap in the face. Opposing centers should beware if Howard starts playing with a chip on his shoulder.

3. It’s time to put the Super back in front of Sonics
Seattle finally landed a GM but he’s no grizzled veteran at the helm of an NBA ship, in fact he’s just a 30-year-old kid. Sam Presti is now the man in Seattle and he’s gonna have his hands full right off the bat considering that the Sonics are minus a head coach at the moment. In addition to that, they have the enviable task of making the second selection in the NBA Draft at the end of the month. But what has our wheels turning is that this kid might just be ballsy enough to make some noise with his current high pick. The most interesting scenario we’ve heard is Seattle trading the second pick (a.k.a. Kevin Durant) and Ray Allen to the Lakers for Mr. On Again/Off Again, Kobe Bryant. Then again, he could decide to cut ties with Rashard Lewis and bring in a complimentary player to play alongside Allen and Durant (we’re not jumping the gun are we?). Or they could always just stay pat with what they got if Lewis decides not to get swept away in the free agent waters. About the only thing we do know is that Seattle is on their way up, no matter what moves they decide to make.

Game 1’s MVP: Tim Duncan vs. Cleveland 39 min, 24 pts (FG: 10-17, FT: 4-5), 13 reb, 1 ast, 2 stl, 5 blk

Buzzer Beater: Listen, LeBron James is a freakin’ amazing player and he has the possibility to become on of the greatest to ever lace up a pair of sneaks, but these constant references to Michael Jordan are driving us up the wall. And finally, we repeat, finally, someone stepped up and said what everybody already knows. “I’m not going to compare him to Michael Jordan,” said Gary Payton on the Best Damn Sports Show. “There will never be a Michael Jordan in basketball again.” Hey, we like trying to compare guys from different eras as much as anyone but this whole Jordan thing has just gone overboard. And it’s not just with LBJ; Kobe Bryant gets the same stupid comparisons. Just leave it alone already and don’t try to categorize these guys anymore. Actually, if James or Bryant ever reaches the six ring plateau then we give you permission to label them lil’ Michael to your heart’s content.

NBA General

Around the Rim: The NBA Draft wars have begun

1. Kevin Durant didn’t do himself any favors
Kevin Durant was unanimously chosen as the best player in college basketball last season but it certainly looks like he’s going to be playing second fiddle to Greg Oden when the draft comes rolling around at the end of the month. While Oden impressed the heck out of some scouts, Durant couldn’t even bench 185 pounds and finished 78th out of 80th prospects who showed up to Orlando last week. Oden did significantly better in the vertical leap, an agility drill and finished with a better time in a three-quarter court sprint. Looks like Kevin better get used to idea of playing in Seattle. Wait, didn’t this happen to a Longhorn once before? Ah, yes; some guy named Vince Young blew the nonexistent roof off the Rose Bowl and then everyone started questioning him after a pathetic Wonderlic score. Last we checked, V.Y. was the R.O.Y., but only time will tell if Durant can do the same.

2. Ladies and gentleman, Steve Kerr

Steve Kerr made his debut as the Suns’ general manager on Wednesday and his first order of business was to crack up the media with a sarcastic answer to a question of his plans for the Suns. “I’m going to shop Nash immediately,” Kerr said. Not a bad start; but what does the reporter think he’s gonna say. What’s up with all these people saying that teams like Phoenix and Dallas should be blown up because they didn’t bring home the trophy. Obviously these guys came up short in the postseason…again, but teams that win 60+ games don’t need to be blown up. Tweaking is all that’s needed for these guys; tweaking of expectations that is. Just because you win the regular season doesn’t mean your gonna win the postseason; sometimes it’s just a few tough breaks that can cost a series or even a championship. Listen, disappointment is tough but the West is even tougher. But don’t forget that persistence pays you guys, it took San Antonio over a decade of David Robinson disappointment before their big break came.

Buzzer Beater: And we are finally less than 24 hours away from the NBA finals between the Cavs and Spurs and it’s a good thing because we’re getting ready to pop at the seams. For as much hate as the NBA gets, this should shape up to a pretty good series. On one side you’ve got the future of the league in LeBron James and on the other side you’ve got the best player of his generation in Tim Duncan; unfortunately for James, in addition to having a ton of championship experience and some of the toughest defense in the league, Duncan also has another pair of All-Stars on his side of the court. Cleveland has some solid players but there shouldn’t be any doubt in any fan’s mind that the Cavs are completely outclassed. Well, those Cavalier fans might not agree with that but they know it’s true deep down inside. That’s not to say that we’re going to have a sweep on our hands; LBJ is good enough to single handedly carry his team to victory on any given night, but the question is can he do that four times? Probably not; once or twice is more likely. San Antonio knows how important these first two games at home will be because with a Golden State-esque electricity running through the building in Cleveland it’s gonna be really tough to grab more than one victory battling that type of emotion.

NFL General

Odds and Ends: Will Keyshawn be any good?

Am I an asshole?

By now, you’ve heard that Keyshawn has decided to retire and join ESPN. Now, my first reaction to this is that it’s another example of ESPN just going completely down the toilet. However, if you look at Michael Irvin’s work, he wasn’t all that bad. And Keyshawn is basically just another version of Michael Irvin.

I feel like Michael Irvin really did have some decent insight into the game of football (certainly more than that Chris Berman asshole) but he simply wasn’t articulate enough to express his opinions and he also had the habit of trying to be funny by saying the stupidest. So while ESPN’s NFL coverage is all but unwatchable, having Keyshawn on the show isn’t going to make it any worse. Thank God we have the NFL on FOX.

In other news…

[buzzfeed]: Six fans who gave shout outs to their team on death row

[UPI]: Blind golfer seen reading scorecard

[DC Pro Sports Report]: 2007 Mock NBA Draft

[Bloody Long Odds]: Odds for 2010 World Cup already released

[MSNBC]: Rosenhaus supports Clinton Portis

[SI]: Ex Montana St player leader of drug ring

[Houston Chronicle]: 2011 Super Bowl could set ticket sales record at $93 million

[Seattle PI]: Jones soda pulls off Seahawks upset

[IHT]: Japanese red socks have become symbol for Red Sox

And finally, stay away from the salad at the Wheaton North High School

Boston Celtics

Around the Blogosphere: Celtics fan reactions

We started out thinking we’d post some reaction from around the blogosphere from Celtics fans (the team most screwed) and Trailblazers fans (the luckiest team). But it turns out that while Celtics fans are tearing up the interwebs with their anger and lament, Blazers fans are nowhere to be found.

After winning a lottery in which they only had a 1 in 20 chance, it’s like they don’t even know a team exists. There are more Celtics fans blogging about the Blazers getting Greg Oden than there are Blazers fans. And this, it seems to us, is exactly why the Blazers don’t even deserve to get Oden. (And we absolutely hate the Celtics — it just seems like the sports gods are fucking with them though.)

Well, without further ado, here are some angry C’s fans:

“The 5th overall pick in a 2 player draft… that’s what we get out of 82 games of tanking, inept coaching, mongoloidian general management, and Personal Injury…
Portland as a franchise was floundering. Every player they had was some sort of criminal. Dogfighting, weed smoking, assaults, OUI… you name it, the Blazers had someone who did it. We got Bassy Telfair and is gun collection from the Blazers. The team sucked, and the fans- normally the NBA’s most consistent sellout- were shunning the Blazers for Lumberjack Contests and Salmon Fishing Derbies. They got the #1 overall pick.” — High Above Courtside
(Right, it’s Portland’s fault that Danny Ainge traded for Bassy.)

“What does this mean for the Celtics? In my opinion, it means that the Celtics are absolutely the more desperate team in the league this summer. I think that if the Celtics can’t package this pick with Theo Ratliff’s contract and extra pieces for an All-Star caliber veteran, Paul Pierce will be gone by the trade deadline. That also, in my opinion, would be best for both the organization and Paul Pierce (if we can’t get ourselves a veteran All-Star this summer).” —

“The worst possible scenario played out in the lottery. The Celtics dropped to the #5 pick and the Grizzlies dropped to #4. Do you realize that there was approximately a 6% chance that the Memphis and Boston would pick 4 and 5? I think David Stern just sent an anti-tanking message to both teams. I would have felt better if the lottery were televised instead of being held behind closed doors.” — Loy’s Place

“I am usually a pretty optimistic Celtics fan, but right now I don’t know how to feel anymore. I can’t end this blog/rant saying all will be well and we should stop worrying. My prediction? An all-star veteran somehow becomes available and we trade the pick, Green, Ratliff, and Delonte West for him. We might even have to add a future pick. What will most likely really happen? No veteran becomes available; we draft Wright and wait at least three more years for him to develop. By then Pierce is all but gone and who knows how our other youngsters will have developed. Optimism? Sorry, wait a few more months before you get any of that from me.” — Celtics 24/7

“NOOOOOOOOOOO! It was all for nothing. The injuries. The tanking (fine, we can say it now). The agony. The misery. The futile dream that something might go right for the Celtics. You know what? I’m not jumping off the bridge yet. Maybe Tony Allen comes back. Maybe Gerald makes an improvement half as big as Al Jefferson’s third-year improvement. Maybe Rondo develops a shot; maybe Perkins adds something (anything) to his game. And we’re still in the Atlantic Division. But, dammit, I wish I’d be thinking about going deep into the playoffs, instead of my 12th straight year of hoping everything goes right and we just get there.

I hate sports.” — Bunkosquad

NBA General

Bill Simmons finally gets his proof

Bill Simmons (and basically everyone else) believes that the 1985 NBA draft lottery was fixed to give the NY Knicks the first pick in the draft, and thus Patrick Ewing. Well, proof (sorta) comes from YouTube video of the draft (copyright law? what copyright law?). By the way, who is keeping these videos of NBA drafts from 20 years ago?

Here’s what you have to look out for in the following video:

4:50 – The E&Y accountant who, we’ve just been told, has no idea which envelope contains which logos, while putting them in the drum, bangs one (just one) envelope against the side, thus creating a crease.

5:29 – David Stern pretends to randomly select an envelope by throwing around a few. But notice very carefully that the one he chooses has a crease in the corner. Yes folks, the envelope containing the Knicks logo.

Holy crap! It’s not definitive proof but it’s pretty good evidence don’t you think? Now, if only we had some audio of David Stern telling Dick Bavetta to make sure the Lakers beat the Kings in game 6 of the 2002 playoffs…