We all knew that golf without Tiger Woods was going to be tough, but nobody expected it to be this brutal. It’s like watching the Bulls dynasty play without Michael Jordan. Sure, it’s a’ight, but if Leave It to Beaver comes on or it starts raining outside your window then you’re probably going to be easily distracted. Yup, life without Tiger sure does suck and here’s a catchy tune so you don’t ever forget it.
With Tiger Woods’ season officially coming to a close, the PGA is starting to sweat bullets over losing the game’s biggest draw. So, here’s a list of 10 Thing The PGA Tour Can Do To Increase Attendance, according to The World of Isaac, while Tiger’s getting nursed back to health by Elin.
10. Give John Daly the go ahead to do the 18 challenge (18 Hot Dogs, 18 Beers, and 18 shots, 18 Holes)
9. Give Natalie Gulbis an honorary PGA membership for the Summer.
8. Fans get free copies of the next hottest Calendar: The Women of the PGA tour
7. Make Phil Mickelson wear “The Bro” outside his shirt (Big Endorsement)
6. Randomly choose one golfer to get Nancy Kerrigan’d every week and make him limp around the course. Hey, the drama worked for Tiger?
5. Make worse than a bogey=Keg Stand at the next hole
4. If somebody screams “Get in the Hole” and it doesn’t go in, make that fan strip naked and run for his life
3. Have a Tim Finchem Dunk Tank at the turn
2. Bring back some old cranky dudes from the Senior tour. Let them go at it from the ladies tee, let them ride carts, let them foot wedge it out of the rough
1. KY Jelly and Mud Wrestling in every available Pond
In other news…
[The Sports Muffin]: Meet Pat Venditte, he’s amphibious
[The Recliner GM]: The Best and Worst of the NBA Draft
[Irish Band of Brothers]: Get ready for more crappy Notre Dame football on NBC
[The Cuban Revolution]: Mark ain’t the only Cuban who can blog
[Clubhouse Cancer]: Glen Davis is enjoying his championship reign
[850TheBuzz.com]: Doug Christie’s wife allows Doug Christie to do a radio interview
[Flatusyahu.com]: Bull Durham gets a facelift
[Can’t Stop The Bleeding]: “In a way, that I hoped I shoved it up to somebody’s butt”
[YouTube]: Lacrosse cheerleader takes one for the team
[PartMule.com]: According to Jason Kidd, the Chuckster isn’t gambling
And finally, it worked for Eminem and Dido, so why can’t it work for Ron Artest and Alicia Keys?
If you thought that ugly sneakers were strictly relegated to the hardwood during the NBA’s annual All-Star weekend, think again. In fact, the hideous footwear trend is about to invade the Master’s hallowed fairways and fringes.
Thanks to PUMA, Geoff Ogilvy and Johan Edfors will be sporting these gaudy golden shoes during the competition to “celebrate the first year of PUMAs golf collection.” Uh, with shoes like these there might not be a second year. But don’t think that PUMA forgot to accessorize. The lucky pair of golfers also get to don equally fashionable outfits that will compliment the kicks.
Apparently, PUMA doesn’t mind parading their boys up and down the links like a couple of lil’ Liberaces. Looks like Stephon Marbury was right, it is better to own than be owned.
[The Golf Blog]: Geoff Ogilvy to wear Puma golden shoes at Masters
India’s first player on the PGA Tour, Arjun Atwal (Vijay Singh is Fijian…) is under investigation for a street race in Orlando that left the other driver dead. According to the Florida Highway Patrol, Atwal was racing John Noah Park when they lost control on a suburban road. Atwal’s car spun and came to a rest but Park’s car slammed into a tree.
Witnesses tell us they were engaged in a street race,” [Florida Trooper Kim] Miller said. “They estimated speeds at or about 100 miles per hour (160 k/ph). Park’s vehicle hit a tree and basically just shattered. Part of the axle was found in the tree. It was a very violent crash.
The PGA has no comment but we’ll see how they react to this incident. Aside from Fuzzy Zoeller’s fried chicken and watermelon comment, the PGA doesn’t usually have to deal with any controversy. We suspect that if Atwal is found guilty of anything, the PGA will drop him before the judge’s gavel comes down. This isn’t the NBA or the NFL. The corporate sponsors that make professional golf go round won’t stand for anything that might affect their brands. Of course, Atwal was driving a BMW and Park was driving a Mercedes so you know some sick marketing exec at BMW has already got a powerpoint deck ready to go.
[The Star]: PGA player investigated in fatal crash
In his new book, John Daly: My Life In and Out of the Rough, Daly claims he lost between $50M and $60M during 12 years of heavy gambling. That’s about $5M a year. And we thought Darren McCarty had a gambling problem.
It’s amazing that Daly with his alcoholism and his love of food is still alive. Now we wonder why he isn’t broke. He says that after taking home $750,000 for second place in a tournament, he drove to Vegas and lost $1.65M, mostly on $5,000 slot machines. We’ve never even seen a $5,000 slot machine.
Daly says that gambling replaced his alcohol addiction but he was able to pay off gambling debts with income from PGA winnings and appearance fees. Daily claims he has taken more control of his life in the past six years. He’s only going to play the $25 slot machines and if he does well, he’ll move up to $50 or $100 machines. Famous last words.
[CBS Sportsline]: Daly: Gambling is ‘going to flat-out ruin me’