He bowls strikes and he gets out of wearing those nasty rental shoes. We’re officially jealous.
Odds and Ends: USC! USC! USC!
We can’t wait for the college football season to arrive, but it’s not for the reasons you might think. Sure, we love the history-filled rivalries, the tailgating and the school pride, but more than anything, we love the cheerleaders. What? Did you expect us to say the option offense or something? Here’s the latest preseason top 10 rankings for this year.
10. Alabama’s Auburn University tops off the list at number 10. Six of this sexy squad’s cheerleaders were named Who’s Who Among Students in American Universities and Colleges.
9. Hailing from sunny California are the ladies of San Diego State. SD State is not just among the top hottest cheerleaders but they also took home third place in the 2008 College Cheerleading and Dance Team Nationals.
8. Reigning at number eight, are the Clemson Cheerleaders all the way from South Carolina.
7. Representing the home of Britney Spears and the Louisiana State Tigers are the LSU Cheerleaders at lucky number seven.
6. The Ohio State Cheerleaders made an appearance earlier this year at CBS and now they are making an appearance on the top ten list at number six.
5. Stirring up the fans and tipping off the top five are the Oregon State Cheerleaders.
4. Everything is bigger in Texas, especially the talent – at number four are the University of Texas Cheerleaders.
3. The recipients of 16 national titles, it’s no wonder the University of Kentucky Cheerleaders are at number three.
2. Holding their own with 5 national title victories are the ladies from Kentucky’s University of Louisville.
1. And the number one hottest cheerleaders are the USC Cheerleaders aka The Song Girls. These ladies bring good luck, cheers and songs to the devoted Trojan fans.
In other news…
[Sports Cucumber]: America officially no longer cares about men’s gymnastics
[Gossip on Sports]: President Bush salutes an American flag, er, ass. Whatever
[YardBarker.com]: Any idea who won between Jon Fitch and Georges St. Pierre?
[The Beautiful Game]: Always keep your head on a swivel when watching soccer
[NYPost.com]: The Boss is set to rock the Super Bowl
[Denver Stiffs]: The hardest man to trade in the NBA?…
[The Spoiler]: Spain is soooo totally mature
[Tirico Suave]: Kobe gets funky while riding the pine
[Kissing Suzy Kolber]: “The continuing adventures of Tony and Jess”
[StupidVideos.com]: A hockey player with no aim
[The World of Isaac]: It’s not Erin Andrews, but we’ll take it
[The Love of Sports]: Top 20 TD Celebrations
[YuppiePunk.org]: Dennis Rodman’s hair suddenly doesn’t look so bad
[YardBarker.com]: Can you name 10 RBs who make more money than Brian Westbrook? You got three minutes. Go!
And finally, here’s a good way to impress your friends…and make them fear you.
Remember way back in the day when the NFL stuck the uprights smack in the middle of the end zone? Why don’t they do that anymore?
Bill Plaschke is what he eats
[The Big Lead]: Bill Plaschke Went to Beijing and Ate a Penis
Adolf Hitler might be a true blue Cowboys fan, but he’s just as sick of the Brett Favre drama as the rest of us.
In other news…
[YardBarker.com]: Can you name the entire 1992 Dream Team? You got two minutes. Go!
[Red Sox Monster]: “Defrost Ted” tee hits the shelves
[SI.com]: Cancel your order for a No. 23 Olympiakos jersey
[SignOnSanDiego.com]: Please, please, please don’t take our drunk athletes away!
[Rear Naked News]: Quinton Jackson’s life continues to spiral out of control
[Awful Announcing]: Art Monk finally gets his props
[Home Run Derby]: What you talking `bout, umpire?!
[Boston.com]: Paul Pierce gets bracelets to match his new ring
[Epic Carnival]: Bobblehead makers are truly the lowest form of artist
[Uncoached]: Which Sweet Lou face is your favorite?
[The Ghosts of Wayne Fontes]: Awwww, man; we’re Stephen A. Smith!
[CollegeOTR.com]: College can be a career killer
[SamePageSports.com]: If you said Coach K is the cheesiest person alive then give yourself a pat on the back
[Cousins of Ron Mexico]: “The 2008 Bejing Ol-Chimp-ics.” Thank goodness we’re not the only ones who don’t use spell-check
And finally, another classic video of a cheerleader getting trampled by the football team.
The uneven bars get even
This is easily the most entertaining moment in the history of gymnastics.
Of course, second place goes to this couple.
We’ve been known to sit on the couch for hours/days on end, stuffing our faces full of Doritos and washing them down with cases upon cases of Coors Light, but even our pathetic, flabby bodies could have pulled out a victory in this race.
Move over, Lazy Sunday. Get lost, Lazy Scranton. Step aside, Duke Fan Stan, because we’ve got a rap that will make you forget all about those funky rhymes while simultaneously reminding you to never, ever draft a quarterback in the first round.
Michael Jordan might not be a rapper like Shaquille O’Neal, but that doesn’t mean he can’t talk some smack about Kobe Bryant…in front of a gymnasium full of kids! Hey, Kobe, tell us how Mike’s ass tastes.
Who would have ever guessed that longtime miscreant Ron Artest would be the only baller on the face of the planet to treat Kobe with a little respect?
[YardBarker.com]: MJ to Kobe: You couldn’t guard me
We know virtually nothing about the world of extreme sports, but we know what we like and we like seeing dudes hurtle through the air after plunging down the Godzillaramp. It’s really the unpredictability of it all that we love. You might see someone pull off a gnarly double-backside killer koala bear or you could see someone smash their shin bones into tiny fragments. Either way, it makes for a good view, but we’ll always prefer the latter.
[Awful Announcing]: X-Games Big Air Produces Another Insane Crash