Tag: Soccer

Categories
College Football

Odds and Ends: USC! USC! USC!

We can’t wait for the college football season to arrive, but it’s not for the reasons you might think. Sure, we love the history-filled rivalries, the tailgating and the school pride, but more than anything, we love the cheerleaders. What? Did you expect us to say the option offense or something? Here’s the latest preseason top 10 rankings for this year.

10. Alabama’s Auburn University tops off the list at number 10. Six of this sexy squad’s cheerleaders were named Who’s Who Among Students in American Universities and Colleges.

9. Hailing from sunny California are the ladies of San Diego State. SD State is not just among the top hottest cheerleaders but they also took home third place in the 2008 College Cheerleading and Dance Team Nationals.

8. Reigning at number eight, are the Clemson Cheerleaders all the way from South Carolina.

7. Representing the home of Britney Spears and the Louisiana State Tigers are the LSU Cheerleaders at lucky number seven.

6. The Ohio State Cheerleaders made an appearance earlier this year at CBS and now they are making an appearance on the top ten list at number six.

5. Stirring up the fans and tipping off the top five are the Oregon State Cheerleaders.

4. Everything is bigger in Texas, especially the talent – at number four are the University of Texas Cheerleaders.

3. The recipients of 16 national titles, it’s no wonder the University of Kentucky Cheerleaders are at number three.

2. Holding their own with 5 national title victories are the ladies from Kentucky’s University of Louisville.

1. And the number one hottest cheerleaders are the USC Cheerleaders aka The Song Girls. These ladies bring good luck, cheers and songs to the devoted Trojan fans.

In other news…

[Sports Cucumber]: America officially no longer cares about men’s gymnastics

[Gossip on Sports]: President Bush salutes an American flag, er, ass. Whatever

[YardBarker.com]: Any idea who won between Jon Fitch and Georges St. Pierre?

[The Beautiful Game]: Always keep your head on a swivel when watching soccer

[NYPost.com]: The Boss is set to rock the Super Bowl

[Denver Stiffs]: The hardest man to trade in the NBA?…

[The Spoiler]: Spain is soooo totally mature

[Tirico Suave]: Kobe gets funky while riding the pine

[Kissing Suzy Kolber]: “The continuing adventures of Tony and Jess”

[StupidVideos.com]: A hockey player with no aim

[The World of Isaac]: It’s not Erin Andrews, but we’ll take it

[The Love of Sports]: Top 20 TD Celebrations

[YuppiePunk.org]: Dennis Rodman’s hair suddenly doesn’t look so bad

[YardBarker.com]: Can you name 10 RBs who make more money than Brian Westbrook? You got three minutes. Go!

And finally, here’s a good way to impress your friends…and make them fear you.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.
Categories
NBA General

Odds and Ends: Oklahoma City is currently announcerless

“OKC f’n sucks, kiddo”

The longtime voice of the Seattle Sonics has decided to forgo relocating to Oklahoma City, opting instead to remain in Seattle and become the announcer for the city’s – get this – soccer team instead.

Kevin Calabro, the voice of the Sonics for 21 seasons, will become the voice of Seattle Sounders FC broadcasts as the team debuts in Major League Soccer next season. …

“I’m thrilled to be part of Sounders FC soccer in a city that I know will embrace it,” said Calabro. “Seattle is blessed to have devoted ownership as well and I know people will be excited about the possibilities.”

Yea, we think it was the whole “Thundercats” speculation that kept him from taking the job too.

In other news…

[Uncoached]: Who says chicks can’t dunk?

[Kissing Suzy Kolber]: Jeremy Shockey just realized he got traded to the Saints

[Shake dem Dreads]: 32 NFL teams, 115 dread heads. How’s your team stack up?

[Chicago Bull]: Deng, they coulda had Kobe

[ESPN Page 2]: T.O. saves the day when Batman and Hancock couldn’t

[NewsOK.com]: Thunder. Thundercats. Thunder. Yea, definitely a step in the right direction

[YepYep]: Top home plate collisions

[FanNation]: He wasn’t involved in another Nipplegate, so we’re going to let it slide

[CollegeHumor.com]: 3…2…1…Swish. “Sweet.”

[Deuce of Davenport]: Dude A: “So, do you root for the Phillies or the Yankees?”

Dude B: “Feel deez nuts!”

[Need4Sheed.com]: Ron Artest might be a Piston?!? Shut the hell up!!

[Philly.com]: Charles Barkley gives his money away, but this time it’s not to a casino

[NYPost.com]: Captain Lou Albano might be 75 years old, but he still knows how to throw a party

[JoeSportsFan.com]: Picture of Satan taking in a day at the ballpark

[The Redshirt Senior]: Hey, take it back; Erin Andrews is hot, you big liar! Did you even watch the ESPYs???

And finally, dude, you can win The Ultimate Warrior’s shirt. Well, he’s not really The Ultimate Warrior anymore, but he’s the old, creepy dude who used to be The Ultimate Warrior. Still cool, right?


Ultimate Warrior Contest: Win The Shirt Off Warrior’s Back!
Uploaded by ultimatewarriortv
Categories
Arizona Diamondbacks

Odds and Ends: More testicle news than you can stuff in a sack


Awful Announcing brought our attention to a peak and our breakfast back into our mouths when they relayed a story from ABC News concerning what lies ahead for Diamondbacks catcher Chris Snyder and his recently fractured testicle. Here are some of the chilling details.

“I don’t think [Synder will] have a difficult time with it,” he [Jack Llewellyn] said. “With catchers it’s a little bit of a different situation, because catchers are usually perceived as the more rugged guys on a team. They’re used to being hit by foul tips.”

Still, a testicular fracture is not something that is easily shaken off. In simple terms, a testicular fracture involves a “crack” in the testicle; the organ retains its shape, but it is damaged. Though different from a testicular rupture, which involves a complete hemorrhage of the testicle, a fracture in this delicate organ can be extraordinarily painful — and may even require surgery, in many cases.

“It is indeed extraordinarily painful,” said Dr. Mark Litwin, professor of urology and public health at the University of California at Los Angeles. Litwin adds that the natural vulnerability of testicles is “one of these anatomical curiosities med students never understand.”

“The placement of ovaries makes sense. … [Testicles] are in the worst place you could put them. They really are in harm’s way.”

Hey, Doc, you don’t need to tell wrestler D.J. St. James about that.

St. James was a freshman wrestler competing at a high school tournament six years ago. During one match, he was performing a single leg takedown on his opponent when he sustained a sudden and surprising injury.

“When he fell down, his foot came up between my legs,” St. James said. “His foot exploded my testicle.”

St. James didn’t realize the extent of his injury at first. He finished the match with a victory. But the seriousness of the situation soon hit.

“After I walked off the mat, I fell to the ground when I felt the pain,” he recalled. “I can’t describe how much it hurt. … It swelled up bigger than my fist.”

Sweet.

In other news…

[Sports Crackle Pop]: We got two words for ya: Drunk referee

[JarrettCarter.com]: High school basketball players strike back

[OnlineSportsFanatic.com]: NCAA football is right around the corner…NCAA Football 09, that is

[MMA Chump]: Forrest Griffin and Rampage Jackson get suspended following UFC 86

[Grab Your Balls]: Kevin Durant might be a Thundercat. Snarf, snarf!

[NewsOK.com]: Michael Vick’s exact opposite

[Lion in Oil]: What do the sons of Wayne Gretzky, Joe Montana and Will Smith have in common? The gridiron, of course

[The Angry T]: So much money and, yet, such horrible taste in ink

[People.com]: Tony Romo is soooo whipped

[Tirico Suave]: Real life Tony Soprano waves Jeter home

And finally, a day at the beach with a sweet voice-over.

See morefunny videosand funny pictureson CollegeHumor
Categories
General Sports

Odds and Ends: As if the restrooms at sports stadiums aren’t disgusting enough already


This is seriously one of the sickest old men man ever and he’s exactly why parents need to keep an eye on their kids at all times when attending a ball game.

A man whose trial two years ago made public a long-held fetish for drinking the urine of young boys has surfaced again in the Columbus area.

And according to complaints filed with Dublin police, his fetish still has him helpless to resist it. …

Official reports indicate he has been observed putting Saran wrap on toilet seats in public, sports-related venues with the apparent intent to drink any urine collected there.

It was that practice that drew Patton to the attention of Gahanna authorities in 2006. During his trial, authorities said he collected urine from boys at a movie theater — and at times even paid for it.

Seriously, not even Herbert the Pervert would do something that gross.

In other news…

[More Handy Than Capped]: Nick obviously never saw this before

[The Sports Muffin]: Wazzzup! Beer me!

[CollegeHumor.com]: Karl Malone can’t get a ring in the NBA, so he’s heading to the NHL

[Faded Youth Blog]: Reggie Bush sports the sailor look, complete with big-assed hooker

[AJC.com]: Six Flags isn’t always as much fun as the old dancing dude makes it seem

[YardBarker.com]: Holland has our hearts

[Can’t Stop The Bleeding]: (SNARL) The Warrior is back (SNARL) and slower than ever (SNARL)

[Tirico Suave]: You can see it coming from a mile away, but it’s still hilarious

[Tennessean.com]: Pacman’s old crib was massive

[NextRound.net]: A one-fingered salute to flipping the bird

And finally, the best video of a guy catching a batting practice home run ever recorded.

Categories
Soccer

David Beckham’s displays of accuracy and power are unparalleled

We’ve heard of “bending it like Beckham,” but this is more along the lines of “bashing it like Beckham.”


Beckham
Uploaded by bsap11

Interesting, we would have never thought to spray our crotches with water after a blow like that. Of course, our shorts would have already been drenched from the moment we saw the kick coming.

Links:

[Awful Announcing]: This Is Probably Not The Way You Want To Block A David Bekham Kick

Categories
Soccer

Soccer player wants to be like Mike…Tyson

Soccer is a game of passion, so we’re told. Tensions can run high and sometimes things can get a little out of hand on and around the pitch, but you already knew that. Brawling, mooning, brawling, flaming, pissin’ on the sideline and biting are all just part of the game. Wait! Biting?

Never mind, we just found out that biting isn’t really that odd in soccer after all.

Links:

[Gossip On Sports]: Player Invokes Hannibal Lecter, Bites Soccer Ref on the Chin

Categories
Soccer

Women’s soccer finally gets its proper recognition

Most of the time, soccer chicks just can’t deliver the goods. The arm candy on the men’s side is spectacular, but the female players are usually a little iffy in the looks department. Like when that one chick pulled off her shirt after a goal or these hotties notties; sure, you start to get excited, but then you remember they’re soccer players. But earlier this week in Vienna, women’s soccer took an enormous leap forward in a Lingerie Bowl sorta way.

FOOTBALL fans got a proper eyeful yesterday as a team of topless porn actresses descended on a Vienna beach to have a kick-about.

The actresses – who wore just g-strings and bodypaint in German and Austrian colours – held their beach football game a day before the European football championship match between Austrian and Germany today.

The Austrian side beat Germany 10-5 in the match, which was organised by a chat room website.

Austrian Doris Fastenmeir, who took part, said: “I hope our men will take heart from that.”

The 29-year-old bank employee added: “We played pretty hard, we even had some injuries, like I for example broke my toe nail.”

You think there’s still enough time to petition for topless/G-String women’s soccer to be added to ’08 Olympics.

Links:

[The Sun]: Cheeky porn stars play beach football dressed in just body paint and G-STRINGS
[JoshQPublic.com]: Topless Soccer: What Will They Think Of Next?

Categories
Soccer

OK, maybe this soccer thing has promise after all…nah!

Some people say we’re ridiculous for not being able to enjoy the elegance, grace, power and athleticism that is professional level soccer. We say “phooey on you.” We’re busy people with things to see and people to do. We don’t have time to sit around for three hours just to wind up watching a 1-1 tie. Nope. Give us a five minute clip of some dude kicking balls into trashcans from across the block and set it to a sweet AC/DC track and we’ll have our futbol fill for the next six to eight months.

There, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, it’s on to our busy schedule. There’s a Work Out marathon starting in half an hour.

Categories
Soccer

Soccer reporter uses the ol’ fake bomb threat trick to delay his plane

Apparently, this guy never learned
about “It’s OK, I’m a soccer reporter.”

The world of sports reporting is tough and to make it in the industry, you got to be able to think on your feet. Ingenuity goes a long way as well. But having these qualities isn’t enough, it really comes down to how you use them.

A German sports reporter who was late for his plane to cover the European Championships staged a bomb scare at Italy’s Verona airport in order to delay its take-off, police said on Thursday.

The 27-year-old reporter, who has not been identified, called police saying a bomb had been planted on the Air Dolomiti flight to Vienna on Wednesday, police in northern Verona told Reuters by telephone on Thursday.

The airport was closed for about two hours and two incoming flights were forced to land at another airport.

The reporter arrived at check-in just five minutes before the scheduled take off, shortly after the phone call announcing the bomb scare.

When told he was too late to check in he said he had heard the plane was still not ready for take off, even though the airport officials had still not made any announcement of any delay.

“He changed his version several times, first claiming he had arrived at the airport on time and then admitting he only arrived five minutes before take-off,” a police officer said.

The man’s mobile phone was linked to the call.

He was arrested and charged with causing an alarm and interrupting a public service.

We understand the guy’s job was probably on the line, but unless The 50 Sexiest WAGs of World Soccer were going to be modeling a line of swimsuits at the game then there’s always another flight.

Links:

[The Local]: German football reporter makes bomb threat to delay plane
[UK.Reuters.com]: Soccer-Euro-Late reporter stages plane bomb hoax to reach game

Categories
Soccer

David Beckham delivers the loooong ball

Over the weekend, a soccer player scored a goal from 60-yards on an open net and, of course, it had to be David Beckham.

Like him or not, that was a pretty sweet goal.