David Beckham’s displays of accuracy and power are unparalleled

We’ve heard of “bending it like Beckham,” but this is more along the lines of “bashing it like Beckham.”

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Interesting, we would have never thought to spray our crotches with water after a blow like that. Of course, our shorts would have already been drenched from the moment we saw the kick coming.


[Awful Announcing]: This Is Probably Not The Way You Want To Block A David Bekham Kick


"Cut me, Mick," finally has some competition from "Staple me, Mustafa"

When Germany and Turkey get together on the pitch, you know it’s going to be a battle. A noggin-knocking, face-bleeding, head-splitting, skull-stapling war! Yup, skull-stapling.


Soccer player wants to be like Mike…Tyson

Soccer is a game of passion, so we’re told. Tensions can run high and sometimes things can get a little out of hand on and around the pitch, but you already knew that. Brawling, mooning, brawling, flaming, pissin’ on the sideline and biting are all just part of the game. Wait! Biting?

Never mind, we just found out that biting isn’t really that odd in soccer after all.


[Gossip On Sports]: Player Invokes Hannibal Lecter, Bites Soccer Ref on the Chin


Women’s soccer finally gets its proper recognition

Most of the time, soccer chicks just can’t deliver the goods. The arm candy on the men’s side is spectacular, but the female players are usually a little iffy in the looks department. Like when that one chick pulled off her shirt after a goal or these hotties notties; sure, you start to get excited, but then you remember they’re soccer players. But earlier this week in Vienna, women’s soccer took an enormous leap forward in a Lingerie Bowl sorta way.

FOOTBALL fans got a proper eyeful yesterday as a team of topless porn actresses descended on a Vienna beach to have a kick-about.

The actresses – who wore just g-strings and bodypaint in German and Austrian colours – held their beach football game a day before the European football championship match between Austrian and Germany today.

The Austrian side beat Germany 10-5 in the match, which was organised by a chat room website.

Austrian Doris Fastenmeir, who took part, said: “I hope our men will take heart from that.”

The 29-year-old bank employee added: “We played pretty hard, we even had some injuries, like I for example broke my toe nail.”

You think there’s still enough time to petition for topless/G-String women’s soccer to be added to ’08 Olympics.


[The Sun]: Cheeky porn stars play beach football dressed in just body paint and G-STRINGS
[]: Topless Soccer: What Will They Think Of Next?


OK, maybe this soccer thing has promise after all…nah!

Some people say we’re ridiculous for not being able to enjoy the elegance, grace, power and athleticism that is professional level soccer. We say “phooey on you.” We’re busy people with things to see and people to do. We don’t have time to sit around for three hours just to wind up watching a 1-1 tie. Nope. Give us a five minute clip of some dude kicking balls into trashcans from across the block and set it to a sweet AC/DC track and we’ll have our futbol fill for the next six to eight months.

There, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, it’s on to our busy schedule. There’s a Work Out marathon starting in half an hour.


Soccer reporter uses the ol’ fake bomb threat trick to delay his plane

Apparently, this guy never learned
about “It’s OK, I’m a soccer reporter.”

The world of sports reporting is tough and to make it in the industry, you got to be able to think on your feet. Ingenuity goes a long way as well. But having these qualities isn’t enough, it really comes down to how you use them.

A German sports reporter who was late for his plane to cover the European Championships staged a bomb scare at Italy’s Verona airport in order to delay its take-off, police said on Thursday.

The 27-year-old reporter, who has not been identified, called police saying a bomb had been planted on the Air Dolomiti flight to Vienna on Wednesday, police in northern Verona told Reuters by telephone on Thursday.

The airport was closed for about two hours and two incoming flights were forced to land at another airport.

The reporter arrived at check-in just five minutes before the scheduled take off, shortly after the phone call announcing the bomb scare.

When told he was too late to check in he said he had heard the plane was still not ready for take off, even though the airport officials had still not made any announcement of any delay.

“He changed his version several times, first claiming he had arrived at the airport on time and then admitting he only arrived five minutes before take-off,” a police officer said.

The man’s mobile phone was linked to the call.

He was arrested and charged with causing an alarm and interrupting a public service.

We understand the guy’s job was probably on the line, but unless The 50 Sexiest WAGs of World Soccer were going to be modeling a line of swimsuits at the game then there’s always another flight.


[The Local]: German football reporter makes bomb threat to delay plane
[]: Soccer-Euro-Late reporter stages plane bomb hoax to reach game


David Beckham delivers the loooong ball

Over the weekend, a soccer player scored a goal from 60-yards on an open net and, of course, it had to be David Beckham.

Like him or not, that was a pretty sweet goal.


The 50 Sexiest WAGs of World Soccer

We spend a lot of our free time bashing the sport of soccer, but we gotta admit, those dudes have some serious skills. Not because they can kick a ball around for hours on end or because they know how to celebrate goals in really creative ways. Heck, it’s not even because of the tendency to fight or because their fans are known to riot. Nope, the skills we respect the most don’t even have anything to do with the pitch; we’re really impressed with their off the clock work.

So, while we’re virtually ignoring soccer as a sport, we’re really shooting ourselves in the foot because soccer players bring down some monumental tail. Luckily, where our attention wanes, CO-ED Magazine’s is focused with laser like precision. So, here’s their list of The 50 Sexiest WAGs of World Soccer.

Basically, there’s only one thing to be said about this list: GOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLL!!!!!!


[]: The 50 Sexiest WAGs of World Soccer


Ronaldo says transvestites tried to extort him

Soccer stars just want to have fun and Ronaldo is no different. The soccer super stud decided to have him some fun Sunday night at a Rio de Janeiro motel, hiring some prostitutes for a little wink-wink which is completely legal in Brazil. Problem was that the hos were bros.

Ronaldo accused one of the transvestites of trying to extort him, police inspector Carlos Augusto Nogueira said Monday night.

Nogueira said the altercation began when Ronaldo found out he was dealing with transvestites instead of women. The inspector said Ronaldo admitted he knew they were prostitutes when they met earlier Sunday night, but did not realize they were transvestites until they got to the motel.

“He admitted to everything, he wanted to have fun,” Nogueira said. “But he committed no crime at all, it was immoral at best.”

Prostitution is not illegal in Brazil.

The AC Milan striker told police he offered to pay the transvestites anyway, but before he left one of them allegedly asked for $30,000 to hide the story from the media.

Nogueira said he believed Ronaldo’s version because the transvestite decided to leave the police station even before being fully questioned by authorities.

The transvestite also accused Ronaldo of asking him to buy drugs.

In a statement to TV Globo, Ronaldo reiterated he was a victim of extortion and denied he has ever used drugs.

Ronaldo and the transvestites were only questioned by police and voluntarily went to the police station.

Only in soccer.


[]: Ronaldo talks to police after run-in in Rio de Janeiro


Finally, we have a reason to be interested in soccer

We’ve heard of parkour. And we’ve heard of soccer. But parkour soccer???? You gotta see this!