England Soccer stars vs Prostitutes

Say NO to hookers, mate

The Women’s National Commission has asked the coach and players of the England National team to discourage fans from using prostitutes during the World Cup finals even though prostitution is legal in Germany.

Let’s see, a lot of drunk guys with 40,000+ prostitutes roaming the streets. It’s highly unlikely that any soccer player will be able to dissuade a fan that might want to…uh.. sample the local flavor, especially since one of the stars, Wayne Rooney, is a regular contributor to hookers’ retirement funds. Let’s hope the ladies he choose look slighly better than the one Denny Neagle chose.



Dutch teams ban visiting fans from matches

You call this a soccer riot?
Come on boys, let’s take ’em to school!

You thought the Artest brawl last year was bad? In Amsterdam, seventy Ajax fans stormed into the ADO fans clubhouse last Friday with baseball bats and knives and attacked the 12 people who were there. Two people were stabbed and eight were injured. Even the Black Hole in the Colliseum isn’t this bad.

The mayor and soccer officials stepped in and imposed at least a 5 year ban on opposing fans. The people involved are getting 10 year penalties.

[CNN]: ADO ban Ajax fans for five years


Gay guys love the Tiffin University Soccer team

Who wants to go first?

There’s something about hazing that seems very gay to me (NTTAWWT). Well, the Tiffin Mens soccer team kinda proved that last fall when they had a male bonding hazing event when some freshmen soccer players were photographed tied together in their boxers. The coach and players are all dismissing it as a social event that got blown way out of proportion. Maybe it got blown out of proportion because the photos from the event are being passed around by a gay photo site. And that wiffle ball bat labeled “freshman fucker” isn’t helping either.

Why can’t sports teams just do what gangs do and beat the piss out of new recruits. Why does it always have to include something really homoerotic. At least Tiffin soccer didn’t go as far as the Sierra Vista High School basketball team in Las Vegas, whose hazing ritual included shoving their fingers in a new player’s rectum. I’m pretty sure everywhere outside of a prison league, this is stepping over the line.

[Bad Jocks]: Tiffin College Men’s Soccer Team Alleged Hazing Pictures


What year did we screw you people again? We’ll name our team that

We’d have gone with Black Cocks

In perhaps the worst case of branding since the Chevy Nova in Spain, the new Houston MLS franchise is named 1836. There’s a huge controversey because 1836 is the year Houston was founded but also the year Texas broke away from Mexico so the Latinos in Houston are upset. Way to alienate a huge part of your target audience.

Aside from the historical implications and ethnic insensivity, this is the worst name in modern sports. (Well, maybe second to The New Zealand Black Cocks.) The owner of the 1836 decided to be all Euro and name the team after a naming convention in European leagues. The only problem with that is that the name itself is awkward and hard to market. The 49ers and 76ers are easily recognizable because of the role they play in American history. Even so, most people refer to them as the Niners or Sixers. Well, the 1836ers just doesn’t have the same ring, does it? I guess it’s too late to change all the logos and stationary.

[Eric Casssano]: A very bad year


This is why jocks beat up math geeks

Based on statistical analysis of over a million games, a bunch of geeks at the Los Alamos labs decided that Futbol was the most exciting of the 5 major sports and that Football was the least. Their conclusion is based on the assumption that upsets are more exciting than when the favorites win. Someone tell the folks at Penn State and FSU that the Orange Bowl wasn’t very exciting.

[]: Do The Math: Soccer More Exciting Than Football