MLB’s All-Star break is finally upon us and that can mean only one thing, it’s time for the Home Run Derby, which ultimately means only one thing, it’s time for the Home Run Derby‘s Second Annual Home Run Derby Drinking Game. So, call up all your friends, pick up a couple suitcases of Natty Light on your way home from work and get the vomit buckets ready because it’s time to compete for the coveted lampshade crown. Here’s the rules.
* Put 911 on speed dial
* Take a drink every time Chris Berman says “Back” as in “Back-Back-Back”
* Take a drink every time Joe Morgan says something stupid.
* Wake up next week
Longer (and more fun) version
* Drink for every Home Run. Drink twice if it lands in Monument Alley.
* Drink twice if a Home Run lands in the second deck. Drink three times if it lands in the third deck.
* Drink if Zack Hampel catches a ball like he did at last year’s HRD in San Fran. Get out more if you knew that he’s the guy who has snagged 3,500 baseballs at games in his life.
* Drink every time they mention this is the last season at Yankee Stadium.
* Drink when you hear “The House that Ruth Built”
* Drink when any of the Yankees’ 26 Championships are mentioned.
* Drink when they tell you this is the first Home Run Derby at Yankee Stadium.
* Drink every time they mention a Yankees great. Drink twice if he’s in Yankee Stadium.
* Drink when someone (probably Berman) wonders how Babe Ruth would have performed in a Home Run Derby.
* Drink when you see a player with a video camera.
* Drink when you see a player’s kid on the field.
* Drink if Alyssa Milano is shown. Drink twice if she’s drooling over Chase Utley.
* Drink anytime you see or hear Erin Andrews. Keep your tongue in your mouth, Traina.
* Drink when Chris Berman says “He hit that to Brooklyn-Shea Stadium-The Polo Grounds-Laguardia … or some other NY landmark
* Finish your drink when (not if) Berman mentions the Statue of Liberty and/or The Empire State Building.
* Finish your drink and go get another one and finish that if CHRIS BERMAN SAYS NOTHING during a Home Run. It happened once in 2006.
* Drink for every ball dropped in the outfield by the kids shagging flies.
* Drink if someone breaks a bat. Drink twice if it’s maple and it shatters.
* Drink when they mention that Alex Rodriguez isn’t participating.
* Drink every time they mention Josh Hamilton’s recovery from addiction.
* Drink when someone mentions that Ryan Braun is Jewish.
* Drink when someone mentions that Justin Morneau is Canadian.
* Drink if someone spells out Dan Uggla’s last name.
* Drink if they put up a picture of Evan Longoria next to a picture of Eva Longoria.
* Drink if someone mentions that there are NO Dominicans in the Derby this season.
* Drink when you realize you don’t miss Dusty Baker in the Home Run Derby booth.
* Drink every time Joe Morgan mentions that he led off the 1977 All-Star Game at Yankee Stadium with a Home Run. Drink twice if there’s video.
* Finish your drink if there’s any reference to “You’re With Me Leather”
* Take a drink if Yankees radio announcer Suzyn Waldman is shown. Finish it if she’s crying.
* Drink and shout “MAZEL TOV” if Ryan Braun wins the Derby.
* Drink and hum the theme from “The Natural” if Josh Hamilton wins the Derby.
* Drink some Canadian Club if Justin Morneau wins the Derby.
* Drink and giggle like a drunken horny Alyssa Milano if Chase Utley wins the Derby.
[Home Run Derby]: The 2008 Home Run Derby Drinking Game