New York Jets

Jets fans get cut off during the team’s season finale

Normally testosterone filled men are willing to put up with almost anything in exchange for a brief glimpse at a pair of boobs. However, we did say “almost anything” because every man has a line that they just won’t cross; for `J-E-T-S, JETS, JETS, JETS!’ fans, that line in the sand has to do with booze.

After Jets fans got busted for having halftime flashing parties in the innards of the stadium, the franchise decided to ban alcohol for the Jets’ final home game this past Sunday. So, not only were the fans boobless, but they were beerless and they had to watch the lame Jets play a meaningless contest against an equally awful Chiefs squad. Needless to say, the natives were a bit restless about the situation, especially since the Jets blindsided fans with the announcement just prior to kickoff.

The beer ban was not announced before the game so that fans would not “overindulge” in the parking lot ahead of kickoff, [James R.] Minish [executive vice president of facilities for the New Jersey Sports & Exposition Authority] said.

Jets spokesman Bruce Speight said the ban was primarily aimed at curbing excess at a game that, with a post-4 p.m. kickoff, allowed for lots of tailgating and took place just before a holiday.

“At times, when we think there is a greater chance of alcohol consumption, we take steps to adjust our policy,” Speight said Monday, adding the team imposed a similar ban in 2005. “This was not specific to Gate D.”

The Jets prevailed 13-10 in overtime of their season finale against the Kansas City Chiefs, but some fans let authorities know they missed their suds.

“We want beer!” some chanted at halftime, The Star-Ledger of Newark reported.

Meanwhile, over at Ralph Wilson Stadium, the puckheads were tailgating in full force. And while we feel sorry for the Jets fans that had to watch their team sober, if they were just a little more prepared, like hockey fans, then this wouldn’t even be a problem. Unlike football fans, hockey fans will do anything to get drunk before a game. No surprise ban is gonna keep them from being sloshed in the stands. Heck, who else does pregame bowling ball shots in the parking lot?

And there’s a bar set up for those interested in having a shot of Polish cherry liqueur poured out of the thumbhole of a bowling ball.

“I call it my 16-pound shot glass,” [Ken] Johnson said. “It actually tastes (awful). I don’t know why people drink it. But I go through 12-14 bottles of this a game.”


[]: Jets Plan To Resume Beer Sales Next Season
[]: Fans cook up a flurry of fun

New York Jets

Note to self-respecting women in New Jersey: Avoid Gate D

There is an entire contingency of Jets fans that don’t give a crap who takes the field as halftime entertainment. Unless Janet Jackson is going to experience another `wardrobe malfunction,’ then these fellas aren’t sticking around to see it. Even then, they’ll probably still head over to the innards of the stadium, the pedestrian ramp at Gate D to be exact, where apparently a makeshift Scores is erected (among other things).

At halftime of the Jets’ home game against the Pittsburgh Steelers on Sunday, several hundred men lined one of Giants Stadium’s two pedestrian ramps at Gate D. Three deep in some areas, they whistled and jumped up and down. Then they began an obscenity-laced chant, demanding that the few women in the gathering expose their breasts.

When one woman appeared to be on the verge of obliging, the hooting and hollering intensified. But then she walked away, and plastic beer bottles and spit went flying. Boos swept through the crowd of unsatisfied men.

Not only does this go down at every Jets game, but it appears to be almost a sacred tradition that staff and security turns their backs to. Of course, not literally; we’re talking boobs here.

But what happens when no chicks feel like publicly degrading themselves and the J-E-T-S! JETS! JETS! JETS! chants just aren’t doing it for these dudes? Well, that’s why you always bring a roll of nickels to the games.

Sgt. Stephen Jones, a spokesman for the State Police said they did not try to prevent fans from congregating. He said that there were incidents of fans throwing money into the center of the spiral ramps. Those fans then threw objects at children picking up the money.

You stay classy, Jets fans.


[]: Some Jets fans enjoy their ritual of sexual harassment

New York Jets

Turns out Jonathan Vilma is an idiot too

The NFL’s PR staff needs to issue a memo to the players regarding the Michael Vick dog fighting case. “Dear _____: If ever asked about dog fighting and Michael Vick, please reply, ‘Obviously dog fighting is inhumane but since it’s an ongoing investigation, I don’t want to comment on Michael Vick’s involvement.'” Seems simple doesn’t it? But some NFL players can’t keep their big mouths shut.

The latest is Jonathan Vilma. Here’s what he had to say about the Michael Vick dog fighting case:

To be honest with you, I never looked at it one way or another. What people do is …of course dog fighting is much more extreme, but you can equate it to horse racing. You have animal activists that (condemn) horse racing. They feel horses are being tested brutally, whatever the situation is. I’m not an animal activist. To each his own.

Everyone (in the NFL) has heard about dogfighting. Whether you choose to participate or not, that’s your decision. I’m not here to condone it or accept it. It’s been there for awhile….Virginia says it’s a felony. Hey, it’s a felony. There’s nothing to argue there. It is what it is.

Now, we know what Vilma is getting at here but dog fighting is one of those things that you should just go ahead and condemn. It’s like drunk driving — you can’t be for drunk driving or just ambivalent towards it. And to equate dog fighting with horse racing is like equating sex slavery to the WNBA.

[NY Daily News]: Jet: Dog fights equal horse races

New York Jets

The media’s muscle is flexing for Thomas Jones

So, we were just surfing along, minding our own business when this article about Thomas Jones and his rippling muscles jumped off the screen and smacked us across the face. Tom Rock spent the whole story slobbering over Jones’ arms like an enamored little school girl. Sounds to us like Rock might have a bit of a man crush going on, kinda like how Mark Cuban feels about his MVP.

With his bulging, tattooed biceps on display below those tucked-under white sleeves, it would be easy to think that Jones was the only Jet wearing full pads during the shorts-and-helmets practice. But it was all him.

Now we know that Jones is a physical specimen but this seems just a bit too Danielle Steel for our taste. But that’s all beside the point; what really got our goat was that this journalist was clueless when it came to the human anatomy. Rock needs to start doing a little research before he just dishes out descriptions like “freakishly large arms.” Sorry buddy, but this is the only guy we can find who is considered to be “armed and dangerous.”

But to be fair to Mr. Rock, he isn’t the only one who is starting to make football seem sort of creepy. We came across this piece on and the author seemed to have the same dreamy-eyed approach when describing Jones.

Jones’ jersey sleeves were rolled up to his shoulders, probably because the fabric would be no match to contain his sinewy arms. And it’s hard not to notice them, covered in tattoos and looking as if they should be on a professional bodybuilder.

Are we the only ones who feel dirty reading this?


[]: Home Page

New York Jets

Someone missed Goodell’s personal conduct memo

Can’t outrun the police

New York Jets kick returner Justin Miller might not have gotten Goodell’s personal conduct policy memo but his lawyer certainly has. Miller’s issued apology sounded like a paraphrasing of the remarks Goodell used in admonishing Pacman Jones and Chris Henry when he handed out their suspensions.

I want to apologize to everyone for this situation, including my family, my teammates, the Jets organization, our fans and the entire NFL.

I understand that serving in the NFL is an honor and that I have an obligation to behave in a manner that reflects the privilege I have been given.

Miller was charged with assault after he punched a woman in the face. Now to be fair, he didn’t want to punch her in the face (but the bitch totally deserved it! — just kidding folks, just kidding); Miller’s problem was that he took a swing at a man with fast reflexes. That man ducked out of the way, and the next thing you know, some club ho got clocked in the face, and Pacman Miller got hauled off to the slammer for third-degree assault.

It’s going to be interesting how Goodell deals with this. This isn’t Miller’s first incident but the first was back in college so maybe he’ll get off with a warning. Let’s hope that Goodell doesn’t go all apeshit crazy with his punishment like David Stern did in ruining the Western conference playoffs.

In related news, Broncos WR David Kircus is a person of interest in a weekend assault case in Littleton, Colorado where the victim received several broken bones in the face. We’ll keep you updated on that story.

[NY Daily News]: Jets KR Miller Charged With Assault
[Denver channel]: Bronco Investigated In Weekend Assault

New York Jets

Jan 12 in Sports History: Broadway Joe’s Guarantee

In 1969: It might have been the most important victory in football history. It was the new, long-haired upstart vs. the old, crew-cut establishment. It was young, brash Joe Namath vs. the veteran, stoic Johnny Unitas (who, according to Abe Simpson, had “a haircut you could set your watch to”). The New York Jets, a 19-point underdog, faced the Baltimore Colts in Super Bowl III at the Orange Bowl in Miami. At a banquet a few days before the game, Namath grew tired of the press claiming how bad the Colts were going to make the Jets look. During a speech, someone mentioned it again, and Namath stopped and told him that the Jets would win, and he guaranteed it.

The game was very even statistically. The Jets only outgained the Colts by 13 yards. The difference was five Colts turnovers (four interceptions). The Jets jumped out to a 13-0 lead in the third quarter behind Namath and the running of Matt Snell, who had 121 yards and a touchdown. Namath was efficient, going 17 for 28 for 206 yards. Actually, Unitas only played in the second half, subbing for NFL MVP Earl Morrall, who had thrown three interceptions. The Colts did not score until there was 3:19 remaining, but the game was out of hand. In fact, Namath, who was named MVP, did not have to throw a single pass in the fourth quarter.

The Jets 16-7 victory, the first for the AFL in the Super Bowl, was monumental. Of course, it proved that the AFL was a quality football league that could compete with the NFL (the 14-point dog Chiefs proved it against next year by walloping the Vikings), but it also led to the merger of the two leagues in 1970, which is the beginning of the multi-kagillion dollar Empire/World Ruler/Big Brother it is today. Not only that, but if the Jets were to fail like everyone thought they would, it could have ended the AFL. Commissioner Pete Rozelle was considering at the time of scrapping the AFL-NFL format due to the blowouts in the first two Super Bowls and just letting NFL teams play in the Super Bowl. The Jets, thankfully, changed all that.

New York Jets

Leon Washington goes grade school

The Leon Washington card is a hot item on ebay these days because he’s flipping everyone off with both hands in his “Signs of the Future” card. Washington says he’s trying to pay respect to his East Jacksonville roots by forming an “E” with his hands but it certainly does look like the bird.

Topps has already issued an apology:

In no way does Topps condone this type of behavior to be photographed for its trading cards and is deeply embarrassed that this photograph was not deleted in the early stages of the editing process.

The card is fetching around $50 on ebay. Not bad for a 4th round draft pick with 2 TDs.

[NY Daily News]: Leon and Topps pointing fingers