Categories
New York Yankees

Odds and Ends: This whole Alex Rodriguez sex scandal could have easily been avoided

Athletes and infidelity go together like peanut butter and jelly or like athletes and hookers. They’re simply made for each other, but that doesn’t mean that the cheating has to become public. According to BlackSportsOnline.com, an athlete doesn’t have to keep it in their pants in order to keep their name out of the paper. Simply following this list of The 10 Bona Fide Commandments For The Cheating Athlete should be more than enough.

I- IF THOU SHALL WIFE HER, THOU BETTER MAKE SURE SHE DOESN’T CARE IF YOU CHEAT.

II- THOU SHALL ALWAYS HAVE A PRENUP.

III- THOU SHALL NOT CARE IF WIFEY CHEATS ON YOU.

IV- THOU SHALL ALWAYS REMEMBER IT IS CHEAPER TO KEEP HER.

V- THOU SHALL NEVER SLEEP WITH ANYONE IN COLORADO NOR ANYONE NAMED KATIE WITH A JOURNALISM DEGREE, EVEN FROM A COMMUNITY COLLEGE.

VI- THOU SHALL NEVER CHEAT WITH AN OBSESSED FAN.

VII- THOU SHALL REMEMBER CONDOMS COST $8 A BOX AS OPPOSED TO 25% OF YOUR GROSS INCOME GOING TO CHILD SUPPORT.

VIII- THOU SHALL REMEMBER THEY ARE STRIPPERS AND PROSTITUTES FOR A REASON.

IX- THOU SHALL NOT CHEAT WITH CELEBRITIES.

X- THOU SHALL TREAT BOTH YOUR “SIDE-PIECE” & YOUR WIFE LIKE A QUEEN.

Learn it. Memorize it. Live by it.

In other news…

[Tirico Suave]: Kerry Collins stars in “God Dammit”

[Kissing Suzy Kolber]: Peter King stars in “Peter King Needs A Latte”

[Heavy.com]: Top 10 old school WWF wrestlers

[Gossip Girls]: Kim Kardashian might be on Dancing With the Stars. Schwing

[Deuce of Davenport]: Crazy-ass NFL merchandise, including the “creepiest sleeping bag ever”

[All Balls]: Just follow the bouncing boobs. Oh, god, we mean breasts. Uh, err, no, balls; wait, ball. Yea, that’s it; just follow the bouncing boobs. Dammit

[Rear Naked News]: Michael Bisping might have a death wish

[NE Patriots Draft]: More of Brett Favre this…

[StarTribune.com]: And more of Brett Favre that

[The Associated Press]: Congratulations on becoming the drunkest guy ever, Mr. 0.491 Percent Blood Alcohol Level

[The City of Champions]: The ol `Take off your shirt so we can get a picture of you and Photoshop it onto the cover of a gay porn rag’ trick gets `em every time

[The Redshirt Senior]: College pigskin’s top 10 lids

[Storming the Floor]: Texas set to retire Kevin Durant’s jersey. Sure, it was one heckuva season, but, damn!

[LAist.com]: UCLA is soooo totally ass-some

[Banned In Hollywood]: What? Allison’s back?? Quick, how’s our hair?

[FunnyOrDie.com]: Handsome + Me + Funny = Host

[SlashFilm.com]: Can you believe The Big Lebowski is already 10 years old?! Our baby’s growing up so quickly

And finally, when “Haha, now you’re dead!” is the absolute best you can do, these are the guys to call on.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.
Categories
Denver Nuggets

Around the Rim: Welcomed back with a win


1. The race is on!
The Dallas Mavericks’ playoff hopes took a serious hit on Thursday after Denver grabbed a 118-105 victory in the Mile High City. As of now, Dallas is still sitting in the seventh slot out West, but it’s just a hair away from falling completely out as the Nuggets, currently in ninth, closed the gap to a single game. Carmelo Anthony (32 points) and Allen Iverson (31 points) both went off offensively, allowing Denver to pull away in the fourth quarter. Despite the big night for the team’s dynamic duo, they weren’t the big story of the game. With 1:17 left in the game, Nene took to the court for the first time in over two months after he underwent surgery to remove a malignant tumor from his testicle.

I survived, I’m still here,” he said. “I’m a new man, stronger than ever, I just say, ‘Thank you, everybody.’

2. One, two, three, four and counting

It wasn’t too long ago that Detroit and Miami were the powerhouses of the Eastern Conference. Boy, oh, boy; how quickly things can change in the NBA. The Pistons ran all over the Heat on Thursday to the tune of an 85-69 thumping in Detroit. With the victory, the Pistons locked up their fourth consecutive division title and became just the sixth team since the merger to win that many in a row. The last to do so was Utah, owning the division crown from 1996-97 until 1999-2000. And the Bad Boys didn’t even need Richard Hamilton to get the job done. Chauncey Billups finished with 13 points and 11 assists to compliment four other Pistons with double-digit scoring nights. Arron Afflalo replaced Hamilton in the starting five and racked up a career-high 15 points in the win.

3. The Warrior’s way
The Warriors needed a win to stay ahead of Denver for the final playoff spot in the West and against Portland last night they got it. Golden State exploded for 40 points in the third quarter, propelling it to a 111-95 win over the Brandon Roy-less Blazers. Roy didn’t even make the trip, opting to watch from afar as he nursed his sore groin (not like that your pervs!). Stephen Jackson scored 14 of his 24 points in the third and Monta Ellis had a great all-around game with 18 points, 10 rebounds and five assists. While the win allowed Denver to breathe easy for the night, they certainly don’t have much breathing room in an overcrowded playoff picture. Now the Warriors must prepare to play at Denver, San Antonio and Dallas in three of their next four games.

Thursday’s Player of the Day: Carmelo Anthony vs. Dallas 37 min, 32 pts (FG: 11-20, 3FG: 0-2, FT: 10-14), 10 reb, 8 ast, 2 stl

Friday’s Game to Watch: New Orleans (49-21) @ Boston (56-15)
If you look at the current chalk then this is going to be the matchup in the NBA Finals. Of course, that doesn’t mean much in a Western Conference that flip-flops more than Billy Donovan. However, it should be a compelling contest none the less as Boston tries to take care of its last major roadblock in an epic season. But don’t let the Celtics dominance over the West fool you because Chris Paul and his Hornets aren’t laying down for anyone. New Orleans is on a five-game win streak with an 8-2 record over its last 10 games.

Oh, and you do know the Sweet 16 is going down tonight too, right? Keep that remote control handy.

Buzzer Beater: You’d expect the Blazers to be thrilled that Greg Oden is feeling good enough to play in a pick-up game at an Oregon fitness facility. Wrong!

We heard about that, and I talked to him today,” coach Nate McMillan said. “I let him know he can’t do that.”

Oden is in the sixth month of his rehabilitation from microfracture surgery on his right knee. He is on schedule to return in time for training camp in October. Oden has been cleared to participate in light drills at practice and the team wants to control his running and jumping.

“I know he is excited to be moving again, but as I talked to him about it he said ‘Coach, I promise I wasn’t running hard …’. And I was like — ‘I really don’t care’,”‘ McMillan said. “The thing is, we were surprised. So we let him know that he doesn’t need to be there. We have plenty of workout equipment and gym space at our facility.

Categories
College Football

Odds and Ends: Terrelle Pryor is on the verge of making someone very happy


Well, the wait is almost over and it appears that either Ohio State or Michigan will be the proud owners of the rights to Terrelle Pryor at noon on Wednesday. Pryor is the latest version of Vince Young to hit the college gridiron and he should have dramatic effects on the aspirations of whomever he decides to join. Stay tuned to see if Rich Rodriguez’s jump to Michigan was worth it.

In other news…

[The Wizard of Odds]: The Wolverines just love their general studies.

[SportsOpinion.ca]: Top 20 NHL Draft Steals

[GreenBayPressGazette.com]: Favre fans just can’t let go.

[Awful Announcing]: Mike & Mike & Dave.

[iBet.pro]: John McCain is a bracket busting hypocrite.

[Wave3.com]: SEC starts issuing refunds for botched tournament. Thanks a lot Mother Nature!

[BallsDeepSports.com]: Randy Couture still hates Dana White.

[Wax Heaven]: Sports memorabilia stolen in Florida. Where’s OJ?

[Blazer Blog]: Video of Greg Oden working out. Yup, he’s still rocking a Mohawk.

[Vegas Watch]: Think you’ve filled out the perfect bracket? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Categories
Houston Rockets

Around the Rim: Up, up and away!


1. Rockets keep rolling
Despite winning their 20th consecutive game against Atlanta on Wednesday, the Rockets showed signs of slippage along the way. Houston managed to score just 32 points in the first half of last night’s game, but the Hawks couldn’t capitalize on their sorry opening half and lost 83-75. Tracy McGrady led the hottest team in the league with 28 points and nine rebounds as Houston shot just 33 percent from the field, including a pathetic 6-of-29 performance from behind the 3-point line. But regardless of the percentages, the Rockets are now tied for the second-longest win streak in league history. Just to put it into perspective, while Houston has won 20 straight contests, there are five teams (New York, Miami, Seattle, Memphis and Minnesota) who have yet to win 20 games during the entire season.

2. Hornets deliver against the champs

The Spurs fell out of the Southwest Division’s driver seat last night thanks to a 100-75 pounding from the Hornets. Chris Paul was unstoppable with 26 points and 17 assists in the game, pulling his team within ½ of a game of Houston and SA for the division title – the Rockets are now in first via a tiebreaker with the Spurs. San Antonio got 24 points from both Tim Duncan and Tony Parker, but the Spurs only scored eight points as a team in the final quarter as Nawlins pulled away. Hornets All-Star forward David West missed three games prior to the victory, but he didn’t miss a beat against Duncan. West finished with 29 points and 10 rebounds.

3. Sixers shocker
Despite going scoreless during the final 2:27 of the game, Philadelphia somehow managed to steal a victory in Detroit. Chauncey Billups had an opportunity to win the game, but his buzzer-beater bounced off the rim, giving the Sixers an improbable 83-82 victory. Andre Iguodala finished with a game-high 22 points as Philly won its seventh game in nine tries, bringing their record to 31-34 which is seventh best in the East.

Wednesday’s Player of the Day: LeBron James @ New Jersey 46 min, 42 pts (FG: 12-23, 3FG: 2-7, FT: 16-23), 11 reb, 7 ast, 1 stl, 2 blk

Thursday’s Game to Watch: Golden State (40-23) @ Phoenix (42-22)
While this game pits the league’s two top-scoring clubs against each other, there’s more on the line than offensive supremacy. The Warriors are fighting to catch the Suns in the standings and a win tonight would bring them within ½ game of their division rivals while also putting a little bit of breathing room between themselves and the Nuggets who are trying to grab the last playoff spot currently occupied by Golden State. For Phoenix, a win would mean gaining ground on the Lakers in the division. This could be a game where Shaquille O’Neal proves to be a detriment to the team as the Warriors will try to beat the big fella down the court every single possession.

Buzzer Beater: Greg Oden finally practiced with his teammates on Wednesday, putting in 45 minutes of work after missing the entire season with a knee injury. While he wasn’t going full speed, he tested the knee as he ran a few offensive sets. All in all, it’s a great sign for the Portland faithful.

It was fun,” Oden said afterwards, according to The Oregonian. “It felt good to get out there … and I wasn’t hurting at all.

Categories
Cleveland Cavaliers

Around the Rim: Cleveland rocks the trade deadline


1. Wheeling and dealing
LeBron James has been begging for some help for quite a while now and on Thursday, he finally got it; just not on offense. The Cavs were part of a three-team, 11-player trade right before the deadline, acquiring Ben Wallace, Joe Smith and a 2nd-round draft pick from the Bulls, along with Wally Szczerbiak and Delonte West from the Sonics. The move definitely helps Cleveland in the front court where Zydrunas Illgauskas and Wallace now roam on defense. Szczerbiak isn’t exactly the point guard LBJ was wanting, but his perimeter shooting will come in handy in the playoffs. Of course, the Cavs had to give up some players as well, sending Drew Gooden, Larry Hughes, Cedric Simmons and Shannon Brown to the Bulls and dealing Ira Newble and Donyell Marshall to the Sonics. Seattle also received Adrian Griffin from the Chicago. The bad news for Cleveland fans is they won’t get to see their complete new-look team anytime soon because Daniel Gibson is out for four to six weeks with an ankle injury.

2. Manu Ginobili pours in the points

San Antonio and Minnesota put on a show last night, going down to the wire before Manu Ginobili stole the show. Ginobili finished with 44 points, including the game winner to knock off the ever-improving T-Wolves 100-99. Manu was on fire in the contest, connecting on 13-of-18 shots, including 7-of-9 from behind the arc. But that wasn’t the best news of the night for the defending champs because Tony Parker finally returned to the lineup after missing a nice chunk of time with a foot/heel injury. Mr. Longoria had a decent showing in 18 minutes off the bench, scoring eight points while Tim Duncan was a stat sheet stuffer, recording 24 points, 14 boards, seven assists, three steals and four blocks. Al Jefferson continues to impress, even in defeat, scoring 28 points in his matchup versus one of the league’s best defenders.

3. Red hot Rockets
Shawn Marion is still looking for his first win in a Miami uniform after Houston denied the Matrix for the fourth time since the trade. However, the Heat had a shot late, but couldn’t pull it out, losing 112-110 in Houston. Yao Ming (21 pts) and Tracy McGrady (23 pts) lifted the Rockets to their 10th consecutive victory while dropping the Heat to their 10th consecutive loss. Looking at the bigger picture, Houston has won 14 of their last 15 games which is good enough for seventh in a loaded Western Conference. But the two-point victory wasn’t the only noise Houston made on Thursday. The Rockets were involved in a trade that sent Mike James and Bonzi Wells to New Orleans for Bobby Jackson and Adam Haluska while simultaneously receiving Gerald Green from Minnesota for Kirk Snyder.

Thursday’s Player of the Day: Manu Ginobili @ Minnesota 38 min, 44 pts (FG: 13-18, 3FG: 7-9, FT: 11-12), 3 reb, 4 ast, 1 stl

Friday’s Game to Watch: Boston (41-11) @ Phoenix (37-17)
Nobody could have predicted at this time last year that Kevin Garnett would be sporting Celtic green or that Shaquille O’Neal would be calling himself the “Big Cactus.” But here we are and both are a reality. Better yet, this could be a preview of the NBA Finals. Boston has been rolling all year long, especially against the West where they just received their first two losses against the conference this year in back-to-back games. Three in a row is a defiantly possibility as the new look Suns try to get Shaq his first win in the desert. Of course, the real matchup we want to see is Garnett versus Amare Stoudemire. It wouldn’t be a surprise at all to see each of them score 30 and grab 15 boards. Star power is not an issue at all in this game as it will look last weekend in New Orleans when they tip tonight. The only difference is Shaq and Garnett will be on the court.

Buzzer Beater: Greg Oden must be getting really, really bored sitting on the sidelines this season. In fact, he’s resorted to self mutilation to kill the free time. Last night when Seattle and Portland hooked up in the Rose Garden, Oden was spotted on the bench sporting a brand new Mohawk haircut

Categories
Portland Trailblazers

Hey, Mike Vick; you could learn a thing or two from Greg Oden


So, what do you do when you’re young and famous with millions of dollars in the bank and a year off of work? Well, if you’re Greg Oden you don’t do much of anything. Granted, the guy is recovering from some hefty surgery, but c’mon! Someone call over a bunch of strippers and Three 6 Mafia for this guy and let’s get this party rockin’ NBA style! Oh, wait, his landlord might not approve.

But we really do love Oden around here and are hoping for a speedy recovery. In the meantime, if Charles Barkley McLovin keeps him from becoming Ron Artest McRodman than we’re all for it.

His name is Charles Barkley McLovin and he is my new dog. He is a Boston/Beagle. He is not too big because i cant have a big dog while im renting my house. He is very quiet, hasnt even barked since i had him so far. He does of course pee in the house, making me mad. I know it takes time to train a dog, but don’t you wish that a dog can just be born knowing to go to the restroom outside and to eat his food out of the dish?

This dog is stressing me out some because he sniffs everything and he loves eating grass, but he won’t eat his dog food. The second day i had him Brandon and I left him in the backyard for like 30 minutes and when we got back he had crawled under the gate and run away. Luckily, i have great neighbors. It was funny because when i was down the street i told one of my neighbors and she said she hadn’t seen him, but by the time i got to my house and got out the car i saw another lady walk out the door saying “about 30 to 45 minutes ago and he has a red collar.” i looked at Brandon and said “she talking about me” lol. They all were looking for him, even their kids were on bikes. He turned up two houses down and i was so happy. Now i watch him every time he goes outside. I love him already. All he does is cuddle and sleep and he is quiet. I just wish he would stop eating grass.

Keep us updated big fella.

Links:

[Yardbarker]: My New Family Member

Categories
Portland Trailblazers

Oden ignored his injury and now he can forget about his rookie campaign


Thanks for ruining Christmas, Greg! Yea, that’s right; Greg Oden just ruined our Christmas. Sure, it’s still a few months away, but we were already planning our X-Mas day “Rookie Coming Out Party.” Not like a John Amaechi or Christian Laettner coming out party, but the welcoming of the NBA’s future as Kevin Durant and Oden hooked it up for the first time in the bigs. Well, exploratory surgery became microfracture surgery on Thursday and now we’re gonna be stuck watching A Christmas Story for like the billionth time because Oden is out for the season most likely. Now, we used to love that flick, but over the years, “You’ll shoot your eye out” has mutated into a wishful “Please shoot your eye out.”

Oh, well, we couldn’t possibly feel as awful about this as Oden does right?

Greg looked at me as he was coming out of his surgery, and he and his mom, Zoe, probably said ‘sorry’ 20 times,” Blazers general manager Kevin Pritchard said.

“I could feel the weight of the world on his shoulders. And as a leader and as leaders of this organization, my first thought was how lucky we were to have a guy that cares about the organization that much.

Yea, it’s obvious that he really does care about the team. He cares so much, in fact, that he hid his injury from the team and instead of being proactive, he ignored it and threw away his season.

Oden talked about the injury earlier this week in his blog. He said he had a sharp pain about a month ago when he was on vacation.

“I didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t want to seem like I was complaining or making excuses for anything. Plus, I wasn’t doing anything at the time I realized it hurt, so I figured it couldn’t be anything big,” he said.

We hate to tell you this, but when you’re the No. 1 overall pick in the draft, getting paid millions of dollars from a franchise, getting paid millions of dollars in endorsements and single-handedly took an entire city off the NBA’s suicide watch list then everything is a big deal. Sorry, Greg, but we really hope you get a lump of coal in your stocking this year.

Links:

[Fox Sports]: Oden likely to miss 2007-08 season

Categories
Portland Trailblazers

Trail Blazers can’t catch a break, Greg Oden is going under the knife



Could this improper footwork have
caused the knee injury?

Scary, scary, scary, scary, did we say scary news out of Portland for all you Trail Blazers fans out there. Rookie soon-to-be phenom Greg Oden injured his right knee and is scheduled to undergo exploratory surgery on Thursday. Apparently, Oden has been having some pain in the knee for some time and doctors believe that he may have some cartilage issues.

We’re no doctors, but when you’re the No. 1 pick in the NBA draft and you’re having surgery before you ever play in a regular season game then it can’t be good. With only about a month-and-a-half until the season kicks off, there have got to be some seriously sweaty palms in Portland. After all, with a healthy Kevin Durant right down the road reminding them of what they passed on, a serious injury to the cornerstone of the Blazers would be devastating.

But we shouldn’t be getting all doom and gloom on the situation just yet, after all he recovered just fine from his tonsillectomy earlier in the year. Oh, wait, you don’t need your tonsils to battle for position down in the post against guys like Shaquille O’Neal, Tim Duncan and Marcus Camby. Sorry, Portland, you should be holding you’re breath until the post surgery press conference with team physician Dr. Don Roberts.

Links:

[KGW.com]: Oden to undergo knee surgery
[OregonLive.com]: Oden injures knee

Categories
Portland Trailblazers

Greg Oden wants to show you his current pad

So, have you ever wondered what it’s like to be an NBA superstar in the waiting? If you’re pretending to be Greg Oden, it’s probably not what you’d expect. Surely you’ve heard about LeBron James’ multimillion dollar mansion that is currently in the works; well, this is just a couple steps down from that. But, hey, everyone has to start somewhere and we’re guessing that it won’t be long until Oden breaks ground on his very own humble abode that will have LeBron and the rest of the world saying, “Daaaaamn!” Until then, it looks like he’s going to be eating Cookie Crisp and watermelon in this cramped little apartment.

Thanks for sharing, Greg!

Links:

[The Big Lead]: Greg Oden, Cribs (Well, His Mom’s Apartment, Anyway)

Categories
Seattle Supersonics

Kevin Durant almost made people forget Greg Oden wasn’t there


The top two picks from this year’s NBA Draft were supposed to hook up in the first of a career filled with battles on Sunday night when the Seattle Sonics played the Portland Trail Blazers in a summer league game. However, with Greg Oden out of commission thanks to the removal of his tonsils on Saturday, the stage was set for the kid who has been playing second fiddle to take center stage. And Kevin Durant didn’t disappoint in his solo performance.

Durant impressed the crowd with several monster dunks en route to putting up 28 points in the 84-78 loss that kept the Sonics winless in the summer league competition. But despite the team’s woes, Durant was named to the all-tournament team after averaging 23.7 points in his first four contests.

He’s a very special player that has a lot of skills,” Seattle summer coach Ralph Lewis. “Playing games is on the job training and he is growing as a player and we are growing as a team.

While Durant is undoubtedly the face of the franchise for the next decade, Seattle is still pretty excited about their other big catch on draft night. Jeff Green was Seattle’s high-scorer with 32 points. So, even with a 0-5 record, a 60 point outburst from the two kids expected to carry the Sonics out of the slums can brighten the outlook of any coach, GM or fan; even if it did little to impress Durant himself.

I wouldn’t say that this was my best game, but I got better,” Durant said.

Links:

[Chron.com]: Durant scores 28 against Oden-less Blazers