Category: New York Yankees

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New York Yankees

Odds and Ends: This whole Alex Rodriguez sex scandal could have easily been avoided

Athletes and infidelity go together like peanut butter and jelly or like athletes and hookers. They’re simply made for each other, but that doesn’t mean that the cheating has to become public. According to BlackSportsOnline.com, an athlete doesn’t have to keep it in their pants in order to keep their name out of the paper. Simply following this list of The 10 Bona Fide Commandments For The Cheating Athlete should be more than enough.

I- IF THOU SHALL WIFE HER, THOU BETTER MAKE SURE SHE DOESN’T CARE IF YOU CHEAT.

II- THOU SHALL ALWAYS HAVE A PRENUP.

III- THOU SHALL NOT CARE IF WIFEY CHEATS ON YOU.

IV- THOU SHALL ALWAYS REMEMBER IT IS CHEAPER TO KEEP HER.

V- THOU SHALL NEVER SLEEP WITH ANYONE IN COLORADO NOR ANYONE NAMED KATIE WITH A JOURNALISM DEGREE, EVEN FROM A COMMUNITY COLLEGE.

VI- THOU SHALL NEVER CHEAT WITH AN OBSESSED FAN.

VII- THOU SHALL REMEMBER CONDOMS COST $8 A BOX AS OPPOSED TO 25% OF YOUR GROSS INCOME GOING TO CHILD SUPPORT.

VIII- THOU SHALL REMEMBER THEY ARE STRIPPERS AND PROSTITUTES FOR A REASON.

IX- THOU SHALL NOT CHEAT WITH CELEBRITIES.

X- THOU SHALL TREAT BOTH YOUR “SIDE-PIECE” & YOUR WIFE LIKE A QUEEN.

Learn it. Memorize it. Live by it.

In other news…

[Tirico Suave]: Kerry Collins stars in “God Dammit”

[Kissing Suzy Kolber]: Peter King stars in “Peter King Needs A Latte”

[Heavy.com]: Top 10 old school WWF wrestlers

[Gossip Girls]: Kim Kardashian might be on Dancing With the Stars. Schwing

[Deuce of Davenport]: Crazy-ass NFL merchandise, including the “creepiest sleeping bag ever”

[All Balls]: Just follow the bouncing boobs. Oh, god, we mean breasts. Uh, err, no, balls; wait, ball. Yea, that’s it; just follow the bouncing boobs. Dammit

[Rear Naked News]: Michael Bisping might have a death wish

[NE Patriots Draft]: More of Brett Favre this…

[StarTribune.com]: And more of Brett Favre that

[The Associated Press]: Congratulations on becoming the drunkest guy ever, Mr. 0.491 Percent Blood Alcohol Level

[The City of Champions]: The ol `Take off your shirt so we can get a picture of you and Photoshop it onto the cover of a gay porn rag’ trick gets `em every time

[The Redshirt Senior]: College pigskin’s top 10 lids

[Storming the Floor]: Texas set to retire Kevin Durant’s jersey. Sure, it was one heckuva season, but, damn!

[LAist.com]: UCLA is soooo totally ass-some

[Banned In Hollywood]: What? Allison’s back?? Quick, how’s our hair?

[FunnyOrDie.com]: Handsome + Me + Funny = Host

[SlashFilm.com]: Can you believe The Big Lebowski is already 10 years old?! Our baby’s growing up so quickly

And finally, when “Haha, now you’re dead!” is the absolute best you can do, these are the guys to call on.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.
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New York Yankees

Odds and Ends: "Ball game over! The cake is tainted! Theeeeeeeeeeeeee cake is tainted!"

If you think double-dipping is disgusting then what about finger-dipping? You know, when someone sticks their finger in something, sucks it clean and then walks away. Like Puck and the peanut butter back when The Real World was actually worth watching. Well, according to the New York Post, if you happen to work in the same stadium as Yankees radio announcer John Sterling then you might want to get a vomit bucket ready.

“Sterling has made a habit of walking over to the dessert table and dipping his finger into the ice cream barrel,” one stadium worker told us, adding that the play-by-play vet has also used the same tablespoon to repeatedly take samples. During the Boston series, “He wandered over to the cake and pie section, broke off a piece of a cake slice, ate it and wiped his grimy hands on the linen tablecloth, leaving the remainder of the slice for someone else to eat – which indeed happened,” our spy continued.

Ewwwww. Kid Rock and Tommy Lee won’t even touch those sloppy seconds.

In other news…

[BostonSportz.com]: Even NFL coaches think Tom Brady is hot catch

[FightChat.com]: Need inspiration to become a MMA superstar? Well, here’s the caliber of chicks you could bang

[NBA.com]: Its official! Suck on that Seattle!

[PerezHilton.com]: For once, we agree with Mr. Rainbow Bright

[BooshMagazine.com]: It’s time to play everybody’s favorite game: Legal or Olympic Jailbait!

[The Wall Street Journal]: The NBA mines New Delhi for talent

[FightChat.com]: 16 MMA knockouts in the blink of an eye

[Babble.com]: A-Rod loves him some strippers

[NFLJuice.com]: We like big butts and we cannot lie…

[Tirico Suave]: Go, go, Power Plaschke!

And finally, this is why you always, always, always lock up your lightsaber.

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New York Yankees

Yankees fan turns rivalry game into a WWE Battle Royal

Some southerners out there don’t really understand the magnitude of the rivalry between the Yankees and the Red Sox. More importantly, they don’t really understand the magnitude of the rivalry between the Yankees’ fans and the Red Sox’s fans. For anyone who doesn’t get it, we would like to present exhibit A.


http://view.break.com/492096 – Watch more free videos

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New York Yankees

Joba Chamberlain strikes out with Erin Andrews

We don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Erin Andrews is pretty damn hot. So, it figures that she’s probably used to hearing a bunch of crap from guys both on and off the clock. Normally, she’s pretty professional, but in this interview with Joba Chamberlain, she let her emotions show, giving the Yankees pitcher a reaction normally reserved for drunken frat boys.

Links:

[The Big Lead]: Erin Andrews Gives Joba Chamberlain the Eye Roll

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New York Yankees

This isn’t an SNL skit, the Yankees sign Billy Crystal


The Yankees did it again. New York is unlike any other pro sports franchise in that they have a seemingly endless supply of money to throw at whoever they want whenever they want. With the season rapidly approaching, it’s time for the club to start doing some its famous Yankee tinkering, but we think they’re going to regret their latest acquisition. After all, Billy Crystal might be a beast in the field, but he’s got no power whatsoever left in his swing.

Crystal will sign the [one-day] contract and work out with the Yankees at Legends Field on Wednesday, before playing in the club’s game on against the Pirates on Thursday. Commissioner Bud Selig approved the Yankees’ extension of a contract to Crystal.

“I’ve been waiting 50 years for this call,” Crystal said. “I’m overwhelmed by the generosity of the Yankees and Commissioner Selig. I know this’ll be tougher than the Broadway Softball League, but I’m looking forward to helping the younger players — by the way, which is all of them.”

Crystal, who turns 60 on Friday, will wear uniform No. 60 in the game.

Wait, Crystal is 60 years old!?!? Has someone checked this guy for illegal substances yet?

Links:

[MLB.com]: Yankees to sign comedian Crystal
[CBS4.com]: Billy Crystal To Play In Yankees Exhibition

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New York Yankees

Hey, that’s my boy over there. No, not the Sox fan! He’s the baton-twirling cheerleader.

We know that the MLB season is over and the Red Sox are atop the baseball world again, but that doesn’t mean that Yankees fans aren’t still bitter.

Wow, as outsiders to the whole New York/Boston thing; we gotta admit, after seeing that father disown his ‘Sox son’ for Sonjaya’s Caucasian brother, we finally see how powerful this rivalry really is!

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New York Yankees

David Letterman gets the scoop on the Yankees off-season

The Yankees were eliminated from the postseason the other day, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t still the talk of the town in New York. Joe Torre, Alex Rodriguez, crying journalists; the madness just won’t stop. It even permeated into the grand Ed Sullivan Theater on Broadway.

Wow, who would have thought that the pectoral muscles of A-Rod and Biff would be so identical?

Links:

[Our Book of Scrap]: David Letterman Is Still Pretty Damn Funny

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New York Yankees

Derek Jeter gave Jessica Alba and possibly the entire world herpes!


In one of the most depressing pieces of news to come across our desks in a long time, it’s being reported by L.A. Rag Mag that Jessica Alba contracted herpes! That’s right, every man’s fantasy supposedly used to pop Valtrex like they were Tic Tacs and what’s worse is that Derek Jeter is the one who allegedly gave her the STD.

While we still refuse to believe that Alba would indulge in sexual activity before marriage, the implications of this news could be disastrous. Holy Candy conducted some in-depth scientific studies and determined that if Jeter indeed had herpes, with his extensive repertoire of high profile arm candy, the disease could have basically infected everyone from super babes like Alba, Jessica Beil and Scarlett Johansson to douche bags like Marky Mark, Justin Timberlake, Eminem and Fez.

And considering the rate at which celebrities fornicate nowadays, this could become a world wide epidemic at any moment. In fact, it won’t be long until someone starts putting together a benefit concert for all the victims of the Derek Jeter herpes tragedy. But from what we hear there have been great advancements in combating the disease. Poison front man Bret Michaels has even put his own health on the line by living in a herpes infested house for the explicit purpose of medical research. Thank you for your bravery Bret.

Links:

[Girls Gone Sports]: Derek Jeter gave Jessica Alba herpes

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New York Yankees

Forget about The Bronx Is Burning, we’ve got The Bronx Pitch Project

Most of you out there probably think that you already know about all the blockbuster movies that will be or have been released this summer. Of course, there’s Transformers, The Simpsons Movie, Harry Potter and Something Else Magical, Live Free or Die Hard and ESPN’s pick for greatest movie of all time: I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry. But have you heard about the chill inducing, horror flick that’s sending audiences screaming from theaters across the nation? If you haven’t, here’s a sneak peek at The Bronx Pitch Project!

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New York Yankees

A-Rod "likes the she-male, muscular type." Hmmmm… like Derek Jeter?



Cynthia Rodriguez is not happy

We had a whole conspiracy theory yesterday that the report and pictures of Alex Rodriguez with some blonde in Toronto was drummed up by A-Rod and the Yankees to take everyone’s attention away from the fact that the Yankees are in last place in the AL East and effectively out of competition for the title. Well, either A-Rod’s wife is in on it too or he’s in serious trouble.

The NY Daily News, with writers who were chewed out by the Editor in Chief for missing out on the scoop, launched into a full fledged investigation in multiple cities about A-Rod’s womanizing. The Daily News reports that A-Rod’s wife Cynthia packed up a couple of suitcases and left their East Side condo. But that’s not all, they also report on possible infidelities in Miami, Tampa and Las Vegas. It seems taking hot chicks to strip clubs is A-Rod’s M.O.

There are a couple of startling revelations in this Pulitzer -worthy piece. First, a (we assume female looking) stripper claims that A-Rod “likes the she-male, muscular type. They brought me up to the champagne room one time. I spun around once and that was it. I’m not his type.” Second, A-Rod, king of the strip clubs, “loves to text dirty.” (How much do you want to bet some blog is already working on a fictitious A-Rod text message log?)

Luckily for Yankees fans, both Rodriguez and Torre have said that these reports won’t affect the play of the Yankees. So expect a lot of below .500 ball for the rest of the year.

And finally, Sports by Brooks tells us that those ESPN douchebags Mike and Mike are appalled that anyone would spill the beans about infidelity on a major baseball superstar. Mike Golic probably got some tail by virtue of his professional athlete status but you know Greenie had to pay for it.

Links:

[NY Daily News]: As wife packs up, is A-Rod out at home?