Categories
General Sports

Are you a real sports fan or just a loser in sports apparel?


There are tons of reasons to be a sports fan, but there are also plenty of things that will get your sports fan card revoked. Adults wearing a player’s jersey should be one of them, but, according to Sean Leahy’s Going Five Hole, that unfortunately doesn’t make the top 10 Reasons You Should Stop Being a Sports Fan list. However, here are 10 surefire signs that your love for sports or true lack thereof might be cause for concern.

You wear fashionable sports merchandise.
Why wear what everyone else is wearing? You have to be different and cool. You want to stand out in the crowd and let everyone know that you set the trends.

You attend games in a suit, in the lower sections, and spend more time talking to a client or on your cell phone.
Real fans hate you. You get the good company seats, show up whenever, and pay more attention to selling your shit service to a client than to the incoming line drive at your head.

You are more interested in the food selection than what’s going on in the game.
Your typical game day attire consists of sweatpants or basketball shorts so that your elastic waistband can expand as your gorge on your third sausage and pepper sandwich. Everytime a vendor is in your section, you quickly scan what they’re selling and decide whether or not you want to pay $7 for another hot pretzel. You do, of course.

You spend the entire game bitching about the food prices, how boring the game is, or anticipating what you’re plans are after the game.
You’re the type of person that’s only happy when you’re miserable. Nothing makes you happy so you take it upon yourself to let everyone know that you’re unhappy.

You come late, leave early.
You know what time the game starts, yet you still show up an hour into the game. After a while, you decide to head home before the game is even over and it doesn’t matter if it’s a close score. You’ve got to beat the traffic! Surely worth the $90 ticket.

You speak loud enough so you think the people around you will believe you’re some sort of expert. And you also look around after each shitty joke.
You know it all. You bring three friends with lesser knowledge of the game and spout obvious statistics to make yourself sound smarter. You want everyone in your section to think of you as some sort of guru, so you make sure to raise your voice when answering an inane question from one of your friends.

You bring a baby/young kids to a division rivalry game.
You decide to bring a baby/young kids to an environment that’s going to be hostile, yet you’re still appalled when the expletives fly. You try to be a hero to your kids and stand up and tell those around you to keep the language clean because there’s kids around. You quickly sit down after the fourth beer stains your “World’s Best Daddy” t-shirt.

You get more animated during the Kiss Cam or t-shirt toss in-between play.
Your team is winning or needs some vocal support from the crowd, but you decide to save your energy when the teams interns shoot t-shirts into the crowd or when you finally notice you’ve been located on the Kiss Cam, and you’re sitting next to Joe Tough Guy and Willie Old Dude.

You show up to the game just for the gameday promotion.
You’ve got the Beanie Baby collection to show for it.

You grow balls when the big, opposing athlete is 100 feet away.
Tough guy when an opposing player is on the field/court/ice and you’re sitting up in the stands, protected by many seats and security guards. While you’re dining on wings at the local Hooters afterwards and said opposing athlete shows up for a post-game meal, your anus tightens quicker than Joan Rivers’ face.

Links:

[Sean Leahy’s Going Five Hole]: 10 Reasons You Should Stop Being a Sports Fan

Categories
Seattle Supersonics

So long, Seattle SuperSonics

You shall be missed

A lot of people have a lot of problems with the way David Stern is running the NBA. Basically, they think he’s letting the league go straight down the drain while becoming a laughingstock in the process. Between the referee gambling scandal, the end of an era in Seattle and the drafting of Joakim Noah, some fans are simply fed up with the situation and they’re not going to take it anymore. Here’s one of the thousands of fan resignation letters currently flooding the NBA’s home office in New York.

Dear Commissioner Stern,

I have been an NBA fan since birth, rooting the majority for my home state team, the Chicago Bulls through thick and thin times.

But the news coming from Seattle is disheartening. I am through with these games, in which owners of professional sports franchises hang cities like Seattle by the balls until they scream ‘uncle’ on a new arena. That’s not how it was growing up watching Jordan and Pippen play. Jordan himself said the old Chicago Stadium was a better venue than the United Center, to which he compared it to a shopping mall.

And so in situations like this, where Clay Bennett and Co., single handedly ripped the SuperSonics from Seattle, a 41-year old franchise; that I submit my fan resignation letter to the once proud National Basketball Association.

I no longer want to be involved with anything from or with this league.

I truly believe the NBA is making a grave, and arrogant, mistake shunning the Seattle market. The over/under for the Oklahoma City team is 3 years for me. Then they’ll turn into a Memphis organization, or a Charlotte Bobcats organization (sorry Mike).

You, Commissioner Stern turned a blind eye to the economics of Seattle, not even trying to cut a deal with the lawmakers. You just showed up to the capital, whining about a new stadium. You are a hazard to this league. I feel for the good of the game, you should leave the NBA with someone that knows how to run it.

This league hasn’t been the same since June 1998, when MJ made the shot over Bryon Russell in Utah.

I’m done.

Sincerely,

Ryan K.

Of course, there are plenty of pissed-off blowhards sending in video responses on the matter too. God bless modern technology.

Links:

[YardBarker.com]: NBA fan resignation letter

Categories
New York Yankees

Yankees fan turns rivalry game into a WWE Battle Royal

Some southerners out there don’t really understand the magnitude of the rivalry between the Yankees and the Red Sox. More importantly, they don’t really understand the magnitude of the rivalry between the Yankees’ fans and the Red Sox’s fans. For anyone who doesn’t get it, we would like to present exhibit A.


http://view.break.com/492096 – Watch more free videos

Categories
General Sports

The top 10 fans who keep sports sexy



I’m No. 4?!?! Whatchu talkin bout
Isaac?!

When men dish out their hard earn money to go see a live sporting event there is just one thing they want in return and that’s to see hot chicks at the venue. Forget about the virtue of competition or rooting for the home team, if a dude sees a babe in team colors then its cash well spent. It helps us keep alive the notion that the ultimate woman for us does exist – the sexy sports fan. Of course, the super-duper ultimate woman is the sexy, rich sports fans. So, here’s a list of The 10 Hottest Celebrity Fans according to The World of Isaac. Keep your eyes peeled for these lovely ladies next time you head for the game; who knows, you just might score big. But it’s a long shot.

10. Beyonce Knowles – Houston Rockets
9. Christie Brinkley – Boston Red Sox
8. Julia Stiles – New York Mets
7. Eva Longoria – San Antonio Spurs
6. Jessica Alba – Golden State Warriors
5. Erin Andrews – Florida Gators
4. Lucy Pinder – Southampton Saints
3. Elisha Cuthbert – LA Kings
2. Anna Kournikova – Miami Heat
1. Ashley Judd – Kentucky Wildcats

While we agree with the girls who made the list, we disagree on the order. We love Ashley Judd, but there’s no way this 40-year-old gets the top spot on this list unless it’s a career-achievement award. Eva Longoria, Jessica Alba and Lucy Pinder all need to be bumped up in this list and Elisha Cuthbert and Judd need to slide down a few spots in our opinion. If you ask us, by the looks of the rankings, The World of Isaac is apparently one full of rampant drug and alcohol consumption.

Links:

[The World of Isaac]: The 10 Hottest Celebrity Fans

Categories
General Sports

And the award for "World’s Most Hardcore Fans" goes to…



These guys aren’t even close

So you think you’re a pretty hardcore sports fan, huh? But do you really know where on the wide spectrum of hardcoreness you and your fellow fans truly lie? If you think simply painting yourself with the official team colors and memorizing the media guide is all it takes to be “hardcore” then you got another thing coming. Just ask, uh, AskMen.com.

Each group has been judged based on its longevity, the size and scope of the organization and the lunacy and originality of their behavior. Hooliganism will, of course, factor into this, since Italian and Spanish clubs have done little to curb the radical elements of their fan bases.

10.Culers (FC Barcelona)
9.The Tifosi (Scuderia Ferrari)
8.Red Sox Nation/The Fenway Faithful (Boston Red Sox)
7. The Cheeseheads (Green Bay Packers)
6.Brigate Rossonere (A.C. Milan)
5.Boys San (Inter Milan)
4. Raider Nation (Oakland Raiders)
3. The Genoese/The Bosteros (Boca Juniors – Argentina)
2. AS Roma Ultras (AS Roma)
1. Ultras Sur (Real Madrid)

Sorry, America; guess you just don’t have what it takes to hang with the hardcore elite. But, hey, don’t get down on yourselves. You still got this guy.

Links:

[AskMen.com]: Top 10: Hardcore fans

Categories
College Football

Mountaineers fans could learn a thing or two about tact from Raiders fans


We understand that football is a game of passion, even for the fans. However, sometimes, that passion can get out of hand. A prime example of this involves the hillbillies in West Virginia who are harassing and threatening family members of former Mountaineers coach turned Michigan man Rich Rodriguez.

His mother, Arleen Rodriguez, told the Charleston Daily Mail her teenage grandson received a death threat and found other harassing notes taped to his locker at East Fairmont High. She said her 12-year-old granddaughter had to be escorted to classes.

Mountaineers fans furious about Rodriguez’s Dec. 16 decision to bolt for Ann Arbor also vandalized his home near Morgantown, hanging signs on a fence and tossing a mailbox in the yard.

Nothing says class like delivering death threats to a kid. While the select mullet-wearing West Virginia `fans’ get the nod for most unappealing display of hostility, the dumbest duo award goes to this pair of pool sharks who apparently need put their fat wrists on a diet.

Two Czech men stuck in a billiard table while searching for a ball had to call the fire department and were freed only when rescuers took the table apart, a newspaper reported yesterday.

At first, the two pool players in the city of Karlovy Vary thought it was funny when both of their hands became trapped inside the table. But panic struck when they could not free themselves, Lidove Noviny reported.

“Their trapped hands hurt them quite a bit,” a fire brigade spokesman said. “We have no clue at all how they could become stuck in there. In the end we had no other option but to dismantle the entire table.

Links:

[SignOnSanDiego.com]: Hey, poor Mountaineers: burn couch, not coach

Categories
All Other Sports

You’ve got nacho cheese on your face, you big disgrace!

Say what you want, but sports just wouldn’t be the same without the fans. Sure, athletes make the whole thing go round, but without the average Joes filling the seats then what do you got? A whole lot of nothing, that’s what you got. So, we want to honor all you dedicated fans who pay for overpriced tickets because when the times get tough, you guys are as solid as a rock, unwavering in your support of the franchise. Of course, you’re probably too plastered to know they suck, but we’ll still take it.

Categories
Green Bay Packers

Packers fans need a new hobby, being obsessed just isn’t gonna cut it


We take our football as seriously as anyone out there or at least we thought we did. Turns out that Packer fans probably have us beat.

The NFL Network has plenty of people up in arms about their hogging of exclusive games, leaving countless cable subscribers without their fix, but maybe no sect is more P.O.’d about it than the Cheeseheads. We really do sympathize, it does totally suck to miss your favorite team take the field, especially when it is a big time showdown like this Thursday’s battle between the 10-1 Pack and the 10-1 Cowboys, but you might want to find a new release if missing a game is going to screw up your whole stinkin’ life.

That’s left plenty of Packer backers seriously peeved.

Bill Bessette, of Madison, said it’s traumatic for fans who plan their life around the team’s games. The game won’t be shown on cable in Madison.

Dawn Harrod, of Wausau, said she is worried about her 95-year-old mother, who’s an avid Packers fan but will miss the game.

“Traumatic” is usually something reserved for serious tragedies, not missing Brett Favre’s millionth interception, Bill. And for Ms. Harrod, when game time rolls around, just throw in a tape of Green Bay’s 1995 loss to the `Boys in the NFC Conference Championship game. Your mom is 95 years old, she’ll never know the difference.

Links:

[Channel3000.com]: Angry Packer Fans Ready To Hit Bars For Dallas Game

Categories
Boston Red Sox

Even Man Ram knows this is a stupid deal


Listen, we understand that there’s nothing better than taking in the World Series atmosphere live and in person, especially when it’s favorite team playing for all the marbles. Likewise, we know that times are tough and money is tight. But get it through you’re head desperate Rockies fans, nobody wants your crap!

We told you about the guy who’s trying to swap a year’s worth of Mexican food (Pepto-Bismol not included) for a couple tickets to the Series. Well, he’s not the only one who’s looking for a flea marketesque bargain on some stubs.

Little league baseball coach Bobby Padilla just wants to take his son to a World Series game, so he’s carted up from his basement boxes full of 25 years worth of Playboy magazines, not a missing month, in mint condition. He bought the magazines nine years ago for $200 as a favor to a friend.

He said it’s because he struck out mixing a lineup of at least 10 computers trying to buy tickets online. He said nobody has inquired about the magazines yet.

Really, wonder why? Could it be because nobody in their right mind would fill their house with boxes and boxes of Playboy bunnies? We’re not saying that people wouldn’t mind having `em; hell, we’d like to relive some of those Bo Derek and Shannon Tweed days ourselves. We’re just saying that nobody is stupid enough to give you World f’n Series tickets for them.

Well, we take that back. There is one man. A shoe man.

Links:

[CBS4Denver.com]: Man Will Trade 25 Years Of Playboys For Tickets

Categories
General Sports

Almost catching a ball in the stands, that’s good luck right?


Please don’t tell us that you’re one of those superstitious, ritualistic, knock on wood kinda people. Well, the odds are actually pretty good that you’re a believer in sports jinxes. In fact, according to an Associated Press-Ipsos poll, one in every five fans tries to get lady luck on their team’s side.

You know what we mean: the lucky hat, the gameday jersey, the spinning in circles after a homerun, the freakin’ idiotic body paint, you get the idea.

The survey showed no real difference by gender, race or education in whether people try finding a way to help their team win. But those who do tend to be younger and make more money than those willing to risk letting the athletes determine a game’s outcome. They also are more likely to be single.

There was no significant difference among the fans of various sports in how superstitious they were, the poll showed.

Twenty-four percent of college basketball fans admitted to trying something lucky to help their team and 20 percent of professional basketball followers said the same thing. Fans of professional baseball, and of college and professional football, fell in between.

Professional football fell somewhere in between? We know that pro players don’t count as fans, but you go tell John Henderson that his pregame ritual is insignificant.

Links:

[MSNBC.com]: One in five fans believes in jinxes, survey says