Miami Dolphins

Ricky Williams is somehow nuttier without his marijuana

As if the world doesn’t already have enough quack doctors out there rendering their “services” to the public, now we’ve got to start preparing for Ricky Williams M.D. That’s right, the NFL’s oddest oddball declared in a recent interview that he wants to attend medical school after his playing days are over. Are we sure this dude isn’t still getting blazed?

After football, Williams wants to return to Texas to finish his degree in education. He has a long way to go and needs about 70 credit hours. After graduating, he wants to go to medical school to be an osteopathic physician so he can offer patients a holistic approach to healing.

“When I retired and I had a chance to be by myself outside of being a football player, I found I enjoy helping people and I had a gift for making people feel better,” he said.

Williams said he reads a lot of self-help books, often with metaphysical subjects. But nothing too wild, he said.

“I’m not a UFO guy,” he said.

In a similar story, apparently, Michael Vick has been reading lots of books on politics and plans on running for office once he gets out of prison. Either that or be a vet.


[]: Ricky Williams, M.D.
[]: 10 years later, Williams looks forward

All Other Sports

Elvis’ hips ain’t got squat on this chain surfer’s

Who the hell says kids have no ingenuity these days? Sure, a lot of kids would rather do drugs and play video games than pursue an education, but they still know how to make lemons into lemonade; especially when they’re drunk and desperate for another Lemon Drop. Just check out this wannabe surfer who can’t find an ocean to save his life.

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

High School Sports

Getting ready for March Madness with old school H.S. football lunacy

We know that March is typically a month dedicated to the madness that is tournament-style college basketball. So, we figured there is no better way to get you ready for the thrilling comebacks and last-second victories that will inevitably come as the month draws on than by hitting you upside the noggin with one of the greatest rallies in the history of sports. Sure, it’s close to 15 years old and its high school football, but it is guaranteed to get the juices flowing for a month when anything that can’t happen usually does.

Here’s the setup, Plano East (TX) is trailing John Tyler (TX) by 24 points with just three minutes to go. Enjoy.


[]: Amazing Comeback

New England Patriots

No one compares to the Pats for Pat Noone, not even Mrs. Noone

We all love to say that we’re our favorite team’s No. 1 fan. Some of us could even make a legitimate case to receive such an award. But in the end, we all pale in comparison to the one, the only, the undeniable king of extreme, New England Patriots superfan Pat Noone.

Consider this: For more than 30 years, Noone has been driving to games at Foxborough from his home in – wait for it – Pennsylvania. The trip from the Poconos typically takes 5 1/2 hours, but in bad weather, Noone, an executive at the DG Yuengling & Son Brewery, can be on the road for up to 10 hours – and that’s one way. But, wait, there’s more. Noone’s wedding ring has a Patriots logo on it, and he’s installed a 1,200-pound wooden bear wearing a Pats jersey in his front yard. The house he shares with his long-suffering wife has a replica of the Pats locker room, and it even includes a urinal.

Okay, so maybe it’s a bit overboard, but Mr. Noone is still the coolest guy on the planet. C’mon, how many of you guys out there would love to have the balls to say something like this to your potential wife.

Q. Being recognized like this must be a treat

A. I’m ecstatic and grateful. It’s one of the highlights of my life.

Q. Don’t let your wife hear you say that.

A. Oh, she’ll understand. When we got married, I put a stipulation on it. I told her, ‘The Pats are No. 1 and you’ll be No. 2.’ I told her if she can accept those terms, great, and if not, I’ll understand and we can go along just being friends.

I told her about training camp and the draft. . . I told her she could be No. 1 for the month of May.

And she still said yes?! We stand in awe Mr. Noone, we stand in awe.


[]: How big a fan? Patriots are No. 1 in his life, his wife No. 2.

All Other Sports

Even Steve-O thinks Jeb Corliss is a lunatic

If you thought it took a pair of plums for Anthony Smith to awake an insomniatic giant then Jeb Corliss must have a couple cantaloupes in his trousers because he’s intent on jumping out of a helicopter without a parachute. Oh, and he plans to live to tell about it to.

Actually, Jeb isn’t alone in his insanity. A bunch of people are hoping to pull the stunt off. In fact, it has even engaged a bit of competition between nations to see who can engineer the technology fastest. As of now, the `technology’ in question consists of a suit that makes him look like a sugar glider and a $2-million-dollar, specially-constructed runway for landing. And the freefall, the brief period of time when Jeb begins regretting going chuteless, should look a little something like this:

All of this is technically possible,” said Jean Potvin, a physics professor at Saint Louis University and a skydiver who does parachute research for the Army. But he acknowledged a problem: “The thing I’m not sure of is your margins in terms of safety, or likelihood to crash.”

Loïc Jean-Albert of France, better known as Flying Dude in a popular YouTube video, put it more bluntly: “You might do it well one time and try another time and crash and die.


[The New York Times]: Flying Humans, Hoping to Land With No Chute

Green Bay Packers

Packers fans need a new hobby, being obsessed just isn’t gonna cut it

We take our football as seriously as anyone out there or at least we thought we did. Turns out that Packer fans probably have us beat.

The NFL Network has plenty of people up in arms about their hogging of exclusive games, leaving countless cable subscribers without their fix, but maybe no sect is more P.O.’d about it than the Cheeseheads. We really do sympathize, it does totally suck to miss your favorite team take the field, especially when it is a big time showdown like this Thursday’s battle between the 10-1 Pack and the 10-1 Cowboys, but you might want to find a new release if missing a game is going to screw up your whole stinkin’ life.

That’s left plenty of Packer backers seriously peeved.

Bill Bessette, of Madison, said it’s traumatic for fans who plan their life around the team’s games. The game won’t be shown on cable in Madison.

Dawn Harrod, of Wausau, said she is worried about her 95-year-old mother, who’s an avid Packers fan but will miss the game.

“Traumatic” is usually something reserved for serious tragedies, not missing Brett Favre’s millionth interception, Bill. And for Ms. Harrod, when game time rolls around, just throw in a tape of Green Bay’s 1995 loss to the `Boys in the NFC Conference Championship game. Your mom is 95 years old, she’ll never know the difference.


[]: Angry Packer Fans Ready To Hit Bars For Dallas Game

All Other Sports

Move over Jabberjaw, we’ve found another monster of the deep

Captain Robert Hill had the voyage of his life on Saturday when a crew of six buddies on his boat wrestled and eventually defeated an enormous 844-pound mako shark. The shark was a record at 11 feet long and it weighed an astonishing 638 pounds after being gutted, a full 338 pounds more than the old record.

Adlee Bruner was one of the friends on the boat when the shark was hooked about 70 miles southwest of the Florida Panhandle in the Gulf of Mexico. It took over an hour for the fellas to get the beast to give up and then it was so big that they couldn’t even pull it aboard. So, they tied the mako to the stern of the boat for the four-hour trip back.

It was tense,” Bruner, 47, said about the fight to land the shark, which has a mouthful of huge, fearsome teeth. “I’ve fished for 40 years. I’ve never see one that big.

It was like ‘Jaws,'” Hill said.

Wait, Jaws? Aww, man, we thought this was exciting and death defying and breathtaking. But how could that be? Jaws was more boring than watching an episode of Cavemen.


[]: Fishermen Land Record 844-Pound Shark In Florida

All Other Sports

Extreme bicyclists might be weird in person, but they’re pretty cool in the air

Most people try to avoid riding their bicycles off the side of a cliff. You did catch that we said “most”, right? Here are the exceptions to the rule:

This video is kinda like Rocky; once you’ve seen it, you think you’re ready to take on the world, but you’re really only ready to get your face smashed in if you try.

Houston Texans

Dunta Robinson’s crib gets jacked by a pair of masked men

Have you seen this man?

Robbers sure are getting brazen these days and it appears that no athlete is safe anymore. First Pacman Jones got jacked, then Antoine Walker was getting robbed more than the local Kwik-E-Mart, after that Eddie Curry got rolled, then there was a shoot out at DeShawn Stevenson’s crib and now the pad of Houston Texans cornerback Dunta Robinson gets cleaned out.

Apparently, a couple of dudes in red bandanas and Los Angeles Dodgers caps broke into walked right into Robinson’s Texas home (a door was left unlocked) on Saturday evening and forced an occupant at gunpoint to lie in the floor before binding that person up with duct tape. Investigators aren’t spilling the beans on whether the occupant in question was Robinson or if he was even in the house at the time of the robbery.

While the one thug detained the occupant, the other jerk went a huntin’ fer valuables and ended up taking several pieces of Robinson’s bling before escaping into the night.

You know, if we had millions of dollars to our names then we’d defiantly be living in a virtual Fort Knox to protect our lifestyle. In fact, we’ve already discovered the perfect man to design our solitude of security should we ever scratch that magic lottery ticket.


[]: 2 sought in robbery at Texan Dunta Robinson’s home

Toronto Maple Leafs

Stanley Cup ring sits at bottom of Gulf of Mexico for decades before being found

Bling has come a long way since the
late 60s.

If you’re anything like us then you think that those losers with metal detectors combing the beaches and open fields of America are complete douches. But, the sun shines on a dog’s butt every now and then and if someone is willing to spend countless hours hunting for lost treasures then eventually they’ll find something valuable to heap onto the pile of beer can tabs, silverware and rusted screws. Well, a few weeks back, Mark DesErmia became the dog’s butt and a Toronto Maple Leafs’ Stanley Cup ring served as the golden ray of sunshine.

DesErmia was doing some underwater hunting with a water proof metal detector off the shores of Florida when the detector honed in on what turned out to be the 1967-68 championship ring of Toronto right-winger Jim Pappin.

After being traded to the Chicago Blackhawks, Pappin was so disgusted with the Maple Leafs that he cut all ties to the team and gave the ring to his father in law. Peter Kyrzakos wore the ring with pride until one fateful day back in the 1970’s when he lost it while on vacation in Vero Beach, Florida. Fast forward some 30 years later or so and DesErmia finds the ring and is now basically holding it for ransom.

DesErmia said he’s been offered $20,000 for the ring but that he would gladly give it back to Pappin for a reward.

But Pappin seems content to pay up for his own property as long as it comes back home.

What’s amazing is that the guy wants to give it back to me,” he said.

We really do just love a story with a happy ending. Especially one as wild as this; which got us to thinking. We know it’s a long shot, but we lost several of our favorite G.I. Joes on the beaches of California back in 1982, so if anyone comes across `em just give us a ring. Thanks.


[Hockey Rants]: Sunken Treasure: Leafs Cup Ring
[]: Stanley Cup ring found in Gulf of Mexico