Boston Red Sox

Red Sox security guard has impromptu try-out for the Patriots

In case you happen to ever get so blitzed out of your mind that you decide to jump the fence and go running across the outfield at a major league baseball game, here’s a word of advice: Keep your head on a swivel!

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

Atlanta Braves

Tragedy strikes Braves’ fan

Going to the ballpark and getting tanked ain’t what it used to be. In fact, the ol’ ball game is becoming a deathtrap for fans who decide to toss a couple back and get goofy. The latest tragedy comes out of Atlanta where a 25-year-old man fell approximately 150 to his death during the eighth inning of Wednesday night’s game between the Braves and the Mets. Apparently, he was trying to slide down a hand rail when he lost his balance and fell.

“The Atlanta Braves and Atlanta Police Department are investigating the tragic accident that resulted in the death of a 25-year old male fan at last night’s game,” the Atlanta Braves said in a statement. “Our sincerest and heartfelt condolences go out to his family.”

The senior investigator with the Fulton County Medical Examiner’s Office, Mark Guilbeau, said Thursday that the man who fell was Justin Hayes, of Cumming, Ga.

Guilbeau said an autopsy will be done to determine the cause of death, but officials believe the victim had consumed alcohol before he fell. The investigation is “pointing toward drinking. Alcohol was a factor,” said Atlanta police department spokesman Ronald Campbell on Thursday.

Campbell said Hayes was taken to Grady Memorial Hospital with serious head injuries.

Braves spokesman Brad Hainje said Hayes apparently fell from the club level to the landing on the stairwell on the field level during the eighth inning.

These types of falls are becoming far to frequent at stadiums around the country and while everyone loves to partake in some frosty beverages during the game, we’re begging you heavy drinkers out there to practice good judgment and live to see another game.


[]: Fan Dies After Falling 150 Feet At Stadium

MLB General

Rock a bye-bye baby!

What the hell is going on American ball parks these days. First, they drop the legal drinking age to six months and now dads are catching home run balls with one hand while cradling junior in the other! What’s next? Are women are going to start delivering babies in the right field bleachers just to immediately have them signed by the Yankees?!?

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

Boston Celtics

The playoffs do strange things to Celtics fans

Have you seen the ads yet? Verizon Wireless just dropped their “Can you hear me now?” ad campaign in favor of “Can you see me now?” One question; is it too late to get the old douche back?


[]: What Not to do at a Playoff Game

Seattle Seahawks

"Eat spit!" Seattle cook taints Steelers fan’s burger

We know that allegiances run deep in the world of sports and, frankly, nothing can be more annoying than a loud-mouthed, obnoxious fan. Well, actually, you could be dealing with a bitter fast food cook with a little too much animosity on his hands and phlegm in his mouth.

A fast-food cook and Seattle Seahawks fan has been accused of spitting on a hamburger ordered by a man wearing Pittsburgh Steelers attire.

Kittitas County sheriff’s deputies say the 37-year-old customer was with his daughters at the Port Orchard-area eatery on Saturday. He reportedly traded remarks with an employee about Super Bowl XL in which the Seahawks lost to the Steelers.

When the customer opened his food container, he says there was spittle on the burger. He demanded a refund and called the fast-foot outlet’s district manager.

The manager told deputies a 24-year-old man might be responsible. The next day, deputies went to his house and smelled marijuana. The man was released after being booked for investigation of fourth-degree assault and possession of marijuana.

Ain’t karma amazing!


[]: Seattle cook accused of spitting on Steeler fan’s burger

Green Bay Packers

Tickets? I don’t need no stinkin’…oh, wait, I needed that

We’ve made our share of dumb moves over the years, but nothing as absent-minded as this. Unless, of course, you count that time we passed around our Super Bowls rings at a party, but that’s beside the point. Let’s stick to the subject at hand which is Rev. Walter Hermanns’ good friend who did him the favor of shredding one of his NFC championship game tickets. Yea, you heard us right.

Hermanns, who has multiple sclerosis and uses a wheelchair, was getting some help from a friend last Friday when he asked him to take care of a stack of papers left in a bin for shredding.

When his friend got to four Green Bay Packers tickets bundled together with a rubber band, he took off the band, put one in the shredder and then stopped short.

“Something rang a bell and he said, ‘Are you sure you want to shred these?”‘ Hermanns said.

Too late. The ticket was in shreds.

They emptied the shredder, collected pieces of the ticket and put them in a plastic bag. A call to the Packers’ ticket office remedied the situation, but not without some explaining.

“It almost sounded like they had heard crazy stories like this before,” Hermanns said.

Luckily, everything worked out because he purchased the tickets with a credit card through a special lottery for handicapped seating and still had the other three tickets remaining, so he’ll be freezing his ass off at Lambeau just like everyone else on Sunday. We’re just relieved that they weren’t this guy’s tickets.


[]: Man Accidentally Shred NFC Championship Ticket

New England Patriots

No one compares to the Pats for Pat Noone, not even Mrs. Noone

We all love to say that we’re our favorite team’s No. 1 fan. Some of us could even make a legitimate case to receive such an award. But in the end, we all pale in comparison to the one, the only, the undeniable king of extreme, New England Patriots superfan Pat Noone.

Consider this: For more than 30 years, Noone has been driving to games at Foxborough from his home in – wait for it – Pennsylvania. The trip from the Poconos typically takes 5 1/2 hours, but in bad weather, Noone, an executive at the DG Yuengling & Son Brewery, can be on the road for up to 10 hours – and that’s one way. But, wait, there’s more. Noone’s wedding ring has a Patriots logo on it, and he’s installed a 1,200-pound wooden bear wearing a Pats jersey in his front yard. The house he shares with his long-suffering wife has a replica of the Pats locker room, and it even includes a urinal.

Okay, so maybe it’s a bit overboard, but Mr. Noone is still the coolest guy on the planet. C’mon, how many of you guys out there would love to have the balls to say something like this to your potential wife.

Q. Being recognized like this must be a treat

A. I’m ecstatic and grateful. It’s one of the highlights of my life.

Q. Don’t let your wife hear you say that.

A. Oh, she’ll understand. When we got married, I put a stipulation on it. I told her, ‘The Pats are No. 1 and you’ll be No. 2.’ I told her if she can accept those terms, great, and if not, I’ll understand and we can go along just being friends.

I told her about training camp and the draft. . . I told her she could be No. 1 for the month of May.

And she still said yes?! We stand in awe Mr. Noone, we stand in awe.


[]: How big a fan? Patriots are No. 1 in his life, his wife No. 2.

Pittsburgh Steelers

Do the dead still have to pay full admission to see the Steelers?

We understand that death is a difficult thing to cope with. And we understand that sometimes people have to do what they have to do in order to gain a little piece of mind. We get it. But you have to understand that some people might think your behavior is just a little creepy; especially when you bring your dead husband to a Steelers game.

Kathleen Desrosiers, 60, took an urn with her late husband’s ashes inside to Sunday’s snow-filled contest between the Steelers and the Jaguars. She even wore the proper attire for the game.

Braving the biting cold and the Steelers’ disappointing 29-22 loss to the Jacksonville Jaguars, Desrosiers waved her new Terrible Towel, showed off her painted face and warmed her head with a Steelers hat.

She called it “an overwhelming experience.”

“It’s sad to think that he got here in death,” she added. “But this is where he wanted to be. It was what he asked me to do. I got to be with him one last time while he did something he wanted more than anything else in the whole wide world.

It really is a fitting tribute to man who loved his team and we won’t knock you for that. We just feel bad for the guy who was stuck sitting next to an urn all game long. Oh well, it could have been worse. At least Mr. Desrosiers was in an urn; this could have very easily turned into a Weekend at Bernie’s situation.


[]: Ashes of Late Steelers Fan Taken To Game

All Other Sports

When good promotions go bad you get this

The next time you’re taking in a sporting event and some loser with a microphone comes over and invites you to “play a game” on the field or court, don’t let your excitement get the best of you. They might offer you lavish prizes, but you must resist. And if they ever, and we mean ever, try to put a blindfold on you, just start running like a chicken with it’s head cut off. Of course, take the blindfold off first.


[Awful Announcing]: Ashley Could…Go…All…The…Wait Ashley! Stop Ashley!!!

College Football

Crazy football fan just loves him some Raiders

College football is almost here and we can’t wait until the whole pomp and circumstance of the game kicks off. Lee Corso donning the mascot head, the bands, tailgating, school songs; hell, we love the spectacle as much as the head-knocking and football spiking. But as the race for the national championship prepares for the opening leg, we gotta remember that the game is what it is because of the fans. Without them around, football just wouldn’t be the same.