Golfers experience a 16th hole holdup

Golf courses are getting harder and harder everyday. Between the woods, the water and the rough, most amateur hackers have their hands full just completing all 18 holes. And that was before some courses started implementing golf’s newest hazard: the armed robber.

An armed robbery on the golf course at Brynwood Country Club Saturday morning startled a foursome and their caddies, but could not keep the club’s golfers from their game.

When the party of six, four golfers and two caddies, reached the 16th tee shortly after 11 a.m. a lone gunman emerged from nearby woods and said, “Give me your money,” according to police.

Armed with a handgun and covering his face with a mask, the gunman robbed two of the golfers and one of the caddies before fleeing into the woods at the club, located at 6200 W. Good Hope Road.

Officials at the club said the foursome finished their round of golf following the incident.

Finished their round, huh? Sounds like these dudes were either some really cool customers or somebody in the foursome invested in the discrete urinary necessity, the UroClub.


[Steady Burn]: Golfers Robbed at Gun Point on the 16th Tee
[]: Golfers robbed on the 16th tee, continued their round of golf

All Other Sports

Forget voting; let’s settle this election WWE style

Just when it looks like the WWE can’t possibly get any more outrageous, they go off and do something like this…and totally redeem themselves!!

One day before they duke it out in the important Pennsylvania Democratic primary, presidential hopefuls Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama are being invited to bring their fight to the ring.

World Wrestling Entertainment is inviting the two senators to compete in a match on Monday Night Raw on April 21.

“Forget about who’s better prepared when the phone rings at 3 a.m. and find out who’s better when the bell rings,” says an ad on WWE’s Web site.

There’s no immediate word on whether either side will accept the invitation.

Yea, that makes a lot of sense. The odds of Clinton and Obama going head-to-head in a WWE ring is about as likely as Ric Flair wanting to show off his sweet dancing moves on a retarded reality show. Oops, too late.


[]: WWE invites Clinton, Obama to wrestle

Tennessee Titans

If you can dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball!

Considering that Vince Young is the next Madden cover boy and all (check out the commercial, rooks), you’d think that the Titans would want to boost his game sells by giving him some big-time weapons to throw to. Well, let’s see; Tennessee hasn’t made any offseason moves for a wide receiver, they didn’t select a WR with their first pick in the draft and now we find out that the coaches are throwing bricks at the receivers they do have.

Fred Graves is the new wide receivers coach for the Titans and his sure fire technique for getting his players to keep their eye on the ball and follow it all the way into their body is to occasionally throw bricks at the guys. Now, if an ACME brick to the chest doesn’t get your attention then nothing will.

If I toss you a football and you drop it, no big deal unless I am yelling at you as a coach,” Graves said. “But if I toss you a brick, without you sidestepping it, you’re going to look at it with your hands and eyes. You won’t just throw your hands out there because of the consequences. Everybody knows, ‘Hey, this thing will hurt.’

This sounds like a drill that the Cowboys should start using. After all, Terrell Owens had so many balls pass through his hands last season that he looked like Paris Hilton in pads. And anyways, if he doesn’t reel `em in then he takes a brick to the head; what’s the big deal? Hopefully he’s not wearing a helmet at the time. That just might be the only way to knock some sense into that guy.


[]: Titans coach throws bricks to make point

NHL General

NHL players are lazy bastards

Wouldn’t you like to be able to just drop what you’re doing everyday at noon and just curl up for a catnap? We would too, but unfortunately we’re not professional hockey players. But for those lucky few who are skating in the NHL it’s basically written into their contracts. According to Maple Leafs center Travis Green,

It’s not a matter of `Will I?’ It’s a matter of ‘How long?’

Sounds pretty good, but it can have its downside as well. What about when you desperately need your daily midday nap and you have a roommate on the road that isn’t on the same schedule? Or if you’re trying to get 40 winks and some jerk is snoring like a pig? But the absolute worst is when you must deal with the dreaded somnambulist, or sleepwalker to us common folks. Here’s one terrifying experience that occurred between Steve ‘Stumpy’ Thomas and the snoozing Todd Gill.

We were sleeping one time, he woke up all startled and came over to me and he was shaking me. He says: `Stump, are you okay? Are you okay?’ I wake up and I’m like, `I’m fine.’ He goes: `Holy cow… I thought I ran you over in my golf cart.’

The other troubling aspect of partaking in excessive sleeping rituals is that it sometimes can become difficult to fully revive yourself before playing in the team’s next game. Just ask the Philadelphia Flyers who have been sleepwalking through the entire season.