General Sports

Odds and Ends: $20 says he eats it

Chris Berman has ruined basically everything good about sports and specifically football with his fat face and his ridiculous anchor work (just think “well dressed Amani Toomer” and “whoop whoop whooop”). So while this story may or may not be true, we’re going to go ahead and assume that it is and spread it around.

So here I am staring at this guy, feeling a little weird about it and it happens. This guy, Chris Berman takes his finger and shoves it as far up his nose as he can get it!! (LOL, I am laughing and typing this at the sametime) WTF..I think, maybe the booger is really bothering him. The only problem was, THE MAN DIDN’T STOP THERE.

He picked his nose none (sic) stop and in-between picks you would think he would have wiped them on a tissue, his shirt, hell, the back of the seat in front of him! But no, this man proceeded to pop each booger in his..umm..yup you got it…MOUTH. These weren’t average sized boogers either, my husband to this day refers to them as Earthworms!! Same color, shape everything. HOW GROSS!!

Does this surprise anyone? (Via Sports By Brooks)

In other news…

[Orlando Sentinel]: MLB wants to charge fantasy sites for using players’ names

[Sportsline]: Former NFL DL charged with bank fraud

[]: Brett Myers, former wife beater, is rehabbing his image while on rehab

[Our Book of Scrap]: Ghetto Tranny Fight Club?

[Bright Side of the Sun]: Suns fans just a little bitter about the Spurs dynasty

[Steroid Nation]: TMI, Cuban, TMI

Atlanta Falcons

Michael Vick’s cousin trying his best to take one for the team

Davon Boddie, Michael Vick’s cousin and the man who ran the house where alleged dog-fighting took place, knows exactly where the gravy train is.

I want him (Goodell) to know that everything going on is really my fault. I want to apologize to Atlanta Falcons fans for what’s going on. It’s a lot of drama.

They’re just making Michael look like something he’s not. Michael is the type of dude who would do his sit-ups and crunches every night, read his Bible and go to bed.

Come on Davon, let’s not go overboard here. Vick does sit-ups, crunches, reads the Bible and goes to bed? You’re seriously trying to tell us this is a typical night for Ron Mexico? The only way this could have been a more obvious lie is if he claimed Vick also studied game film of opposing defenses before being tucked in.

Do you think the whole ‘reads his Bible’ thing was written by Vick’s publicist or Boddie’s lawyer?

[AJC]: Vick’s cousin says it’s “my fault”

St. Louis Cardinals

Josh Hancock’s father might try to sue God next

Dean Hancock, the father of Josh Hancock, the St. Louis pitcher who was killed in a traffic accident last month, really needs to blame somebody for the death of his son. He is suing the restaurant that served his son alcohol which certainly has legal precedence.

But here’s the kick in the crotch — he is also suing the man whose Geo Prism stalled and the tow truck driver who stopped to help the Prism. Damn that Prism owner for not being rich enough to afford a reliable car… say like a top of the line SUV. And damn that tow truck driver for actually trying to help someone.

Now, we don’t want to desecrate the memory of the dead but Josh Hancock was drunk, speeding, wasn’t wearing a seat belt, and was talking on his cell phone at the time of his fatal accident. Is this really anyone’s fault but Josh’s? Or Perhaps Dean Hancock did such a shitty job of raising his son that he needs to blame people for his own failures?

Everyone felt bad about Josh Hancock’s death. And even when the facts of his accident came out, most people just swept it under the rug and paid their respects. But now Dean Hancock is using up whatever ounce of goodwill was left in community by being a complete asshat. Way to honor the memory of your son, pops.

[SI]: Hancock’s father files suit

College Football

UCLA just lost the rivalry to USC

We’re completely neutral on the whole UCLA vs USC thing they got going on down in SoCal. On the one hand, the Trojans football team and their Song Girls are top notch and always make our day. On the other, UCLA is a better academic school with phenomenal bball cheerleaders and (until last year) basketball dominance.

But this picture from the Wizard of Odds squarely puts us in the USC camp from now on. It’s a goddamn travesty that anyone approved this… this… something with Sanjaya from American Idol in UCLA jersey and dancing in front of a fake 1980s graffiti mural that says UCLA. The look on this kid’s face basically means that no UCLA student or alumni can ever claim to be cool again.

Can the UCLA brass sue for defamation of character? Just look at the mohawk in UCLA colors! If this was our alma mater, we’d be up in arms.

Video of UCLA’s biggest fan after the jump.

Denver Nuggets

San Antonio Radio show fakes Iverson interview… what could go wrong?

Radio Producer: Hey, you know what would be a great idea? Let’s do a fake radio interview with Allen Iverson so we can make him sound like a thug and make ourselves sound racist in one fell swoop!

Radio Hosts: That sounds hilarious! Let’s make sure we mention Mexicans while we’re at it. And weed. Don’t forget weed.

We find most sports radio to be completely retarded and Jeff Vexler and Walter Pasacrita at KTKR down in San Antonio aren’t doing anything to change our minds. Last week, they did a skit of a mock interview with Allen Iverson that Spurs officials called “highly offensive and very inappropriate.” In the skit, Iverson (we haven’t heard the skit itself but are willing to bet dollars to donuts that “Iverson” was speaking in an exaggerated urban accent) talks about providing the Spurs with some weed, looking for sex with Mexican women, and firing a gun into the air to celebrate being picked #1 in the NBA draft.

We thought the Imus situation was completely overblown but these two guys have to be complete idiots to think that skit would fly. You get the feeling that if they had a TV show, they’d do the interview with some guy in blackface as Iverson. Now, some of you might think the world is getting too PC but this skit is offensive not just because it’s borderline racist — even worse, it’s neither funny nor original.

The Spurs won’t revoke the hosts’ press credentials but they are pulling Greg Popovich’s weekly appearances on the station.

[My San Antonio]: Sports talkers put foot in mouth

All Other Sports

Swimming coach gets his Jerry Springer on

Well folks, here’s an early entry into the 2007 Sports Father of the Year contest. While some fathers have tackled other kids or pulled out a gun at a pee-wee football game, this guy actually assaulted his own daughter after she failed to qualify for the 50-meter backstroke semifinals. Oh and he was also her coach.

Mikhail Zubkov was caught on camera battling with his daughter Kateryna Zubkova (video below) and he is now banned from any further contact with his daughter and has had his accreditation stripped for the FINA world championships in Melbourne. On top of that, the police are investigating the incident.

[Bloomberg]: Swimming Coach Banned After Fighting With Daughter (Update1)
[Sydney Morning Herald]: Family feud: coach detained

All Other Sports

Vote for the 2006 worst father in sports

Dan Hinkle

We’re sorry folks, we have made a mistake by prematurely giving the “Sports Father of the Year” to a guy who pulled out a gun during a pee-wee football game. It’s pretty hard to top a moron who pulls out a .357 magnum and threatens a coach but a man in Virginia has managed to at least tie him.

Dan Hinkle is the father of a player on the South County Raptors. He is also the commissioner of the league. The Raptors were supposed to play in the first round of the playoffs but they don’t have any coaches because Hinkle fired them. Did they yell at the kids? Were they grossly incompetent? Nope, they simply played his son on offense instead of defense.

In an email sent before the start of the season, Hinkle laid out the rules of “his” league:

[On defense, my son] goes in and stays in. That includes all practices, scrimmages and games. This entire league exists so he can play defense on the best team in his weight class. . . . He is my son, I own the league, and he plays every snap on defense.

Uhhh.. whatever you say jackass. The coaches played his son on offense because they thought it’d give them the best chance of winning the game — which they did. And for that they both got fired. Meanwhile, Hinkle generously offered to hire another coach but the kids (showing some loyalty) refused to play for any other coach.

So there you have it folks. Who is the worst parent? The guy who pulls out a gun in a rage or the guy who is just a complete asshole. It’s a tough call. Vote to your right.

[Washington Post]: N.Va. Boys’ Championship Dream Doomed by a Moment of Vengeance

All Other Sports

Glucose pills today… Shawne Merriman’s supplements tomorrow

Hey kids, snack time!

A Reading, PA pee wee hockey coach has resigned after acknowledging that he gave his players “performance-enhancing pills”. The pills in question were over-the-counter glucose tablets that boosts energy. Jeff Kantner, of the Reading Junion Royals, said that he gave the 11 and 12-year-olds the tablets to counteract the effects of too much candy. How do you keep kids from coming down off a sugar high? Give em more sugar! Seems brilliant to us.

“Off camera, the youth players told NBC 10 they had no adverse reaction to the pills and they are upset about losing their coach.” Hell, who doesn’t like a coach that hands out sugar pills? Next time Kantner, be smart about it and just hand out some kisses. Hershey’s that is. The other kind would get you in a whole different kind of trouble.


[NBC10]: Youth Coach Accused Of Giving Pills To Players

All Other Sports

Sports Father of the Year

Don’t even bother with more nominations folks, the 2006 Father of the Year is Philadelphia’s Wayne Derkotch. Derkotch pulled a gun on the coach of his son’s pee-wee football team because his (now psychologically scarred son) wasn’t getting enough playing time. According to witnesses, Derkotch started arguing with the coach and the two started fighting before Derkotch pulled out a .357 Magnum. Everyone hit the ground and Derkotch took off in his truck.

The referee of the game, Shawn Henwood, tried to write down the license plate number when another upstanding citizen by the name of Paul Derkotch knocked the paper out of his hand and started fighting with the ref. By now, cops were on the scene and they saw Henwood hit Paul Derkotch in the jaw and arrested Henwood. (Ironic that a ref would get arrested for the retaliation and not the initial blow, isn’t it?) In any case, police also tracked down Wayne Derkotch and arrested him.

So now the junion Derkotch, in addition to sucking at pee wee football also has a lunatic for a father. We’re gonna go ahead and guess that he’s not going to grow up to be a Supreme Court judge.

[]: A dad and the ref are charged

New York Yankees

Odds and Ends: Trash Talk Scoreboard – Jeter 1 Ortiz 0

Jeter to Ortiz: Sit down

On Sunday, Big Papi decided to talk a little trash and say that Derek Jeter’s MVP candidacy was illegitimate because of the Yankees murderer’s row of hitters.

Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great player but he’s got a lot of guys in that lineup. Top to bottom, you’ve got a guy who can hurt you. Come hit in this lineup, see how good you can be.

Jeter responded by pointing to the division standings.

I’m not thinking about the MVP right now. We’re thinking about winning a division. We’ve still got something to play for.

In other news…

[All Headline News]: New GM Garth Snow and crazy Isles owner Charles Wang gives DiPietro 15 year $67.5M contract

[MSNBC]: Coach K decries ‘cloud’ of rape case. Basketball coach says it’s unfair that all of Duke athletics were tainted

[Footyblog]: Top Wives and Girlfriends in English soccer

[WHDH Boston]: Red Sox fan cursed at Red Sox players, shook his seat loose from bolting and throws seat in the face of a Maine woman nearby

[Superflav]: Off Topic but very cool: best rock video choreography you’ll ever see live