This is one of those rare times when we would actually encourage drivers to participate in overly-aggressive fits of road rage.
So, how do you know when it’s time to start on a diet? Well, you could hop on a scale or visit the doctor or take your shirt off in public and see how many people point and giggle OR you can hop on skateboard, attempt to drop into a halfpipe and if the wood smashes underneath your fallen body then it’s time to lay off the Twinkies. After all, those ramps should be able to support the weight of a stoner following a 50-foot freefall.
As kids, if you wore glasses then you were probably going to get made fun of. That’s just one of the many sad facts of childhood. However, once kids get older and mature, they realize that making insulting comments about someone’s appearance is ridiculously petty…except in sports. So, here’s On Deck Sports list of the Top 5 Goggled Athletes. Just get a load of these four-eyed freaks.
5. Kurt Rambis
4. James Worthy
3. Horace Grant
2. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
1. Chris Sabo
And let’s not forget about Dwyane Wade who has the thickest set of beer goggles we’ve ever seen on a pro athlete.
In other news…
[The World of Isaac]: Vince Young fails the NBA Wonderlic Test
[MensVogue.com]: Tom Brady and David Beckham are sexy. We get it already!
[FanHouse]: John Daly and Kid Rock go together like cigarettes and strip clubs
[MMARated.com]: Gina Carano talks about being a female badass
[PostingAndToasting.com]: Renaldo Balkman’s New York Knickmobile
[Hugging Harry Reynolds]: Star Wars Sports, starring Eric Mangino as Jabba the Hut
[YouTube.com]: Watch out, the Ax Murderer has a blade!…And he’s shaving another man with it??? WTF?!
And finally, skateboards finally get a small measure of revenge against humans for years of abuse.
While we’re not real big on skateboarding or the whole X Games scene, we gotta admit that we were blown away by this clip. Apparently, the X Games have an event called Big Air where competitors go racing down a gigantic ramp, jump a huge gap and then go hurtling up another ramp in order to gain as much air as possible on the second jump. Sounds like fun, right? Wrong.
Jake Brown found out the hard way after he pulled off a pretty nifty 720 over the gap, but ended up losing control on the second ramp which left him looking at a free fall from close to 50 feet in the air!
Amazingly, Brown walked away under his own power and was taking to the hospital for evaluations. Brown even received the silver medal in the competition. It’s not too often that you can get a medal for nearly splattering like a cantaloupe at the bottom of a ramp.
The 2012 Olympics are looking at going down in history as one of the most humiliating international competitions of all time if they keep going at their current pace. First they embraced a logo no-no that was so hideous people could actually believe that it would provoke seizures. The logo was cleared of all charges but the point is that nobody thought the jigsaw puzzle wannabe wouldn’t fry someone’s brain, so that should tell you something about the absurdity of the thing. But the Olympic Committee’s latest idea could make the logo fiasco look like a stroke of genius.
The 2012 London Games could mark the debut of skateboarding as an official Olympic event. You heard right; skateboarding! Those annoying little punks that ride around strip mall parking lots all day long, minus the occasional weed break, and ding up the doors of your car now might be walking around with gold medals around their necks! You gotta be kidding me! Thank goodness there is still time to stop this travesty before it gets finalized. The International Olympic Committee and the International Cycling Union still have to iron some things out before skateboarding hits the grandest stage of them all.
Listen, I know that skateboarding is a tremendous skill that takes dedication, focus, guts, precision, timing and the rest of the shebang but if skateboarding becomes an Olympic event then bungee jumping and freestyle walking aren’t far behind. Does anyone really want that? I didn’t think so. And anyways, what would happen to the almighty X Games should their main attraction start going for the gold? Suddenly a giant X medallion just doesn’t have the same appeal as it used to.
Apparently the Olympics think that adding
vandalism skateboarding to the list of events will make the younger generation more interested in The Games. But if they really wanted to appeal to the youth of today they should try something more along the lines of the Trojan Games. All this skateboarding stupidity will do is ruin the Olympic Village experience for all of the real athletes. Can you imagine training your entire life for this one opportunity at success and then the crew of Jackass and Viva La Bam are constantly doing beer-bongs and tag teaming Jessica Simpson while you try to mentally prepare? This has international incident written all over it.
[TheStar.com]: Skateboarding could be in Olympics
This didn’t make our Top 10 Gruesome Injuries List but if there was an amateur category, this might be #1. The best part is the guy filming it who just does nothing for the duration of this video. Dude, get the car and take me to a f’ing hospital. Does this look like it doesn’t hurt?!