David Beckham’s displays of accuracy and power are unparalleled

We’ve heard of “bending it like Beckham,” but this is more along the lines of “bashing it like Beckham.”

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Interesting, we would have never thought to spray our crotches with water after a blow like that. Of course, our shorts would have already been drenched from the moment we saw the kick coming.


[Awful Announcing]: This Is Probably Not The Way You Want To Block A David Bekham Kick

LA Lakers

Odds and Ends: Goggles, it’s a Lakers thing

As kids, if you wore glasses then you were probably going to get made fun of. That’s just one of the many sad facts of childhood. However, once kids get older and mature, they realize that making insulting comments about someone’s appearance is ridiculously petty…except in sports. So, here’s On Deck Sports list of the Top 5 Goggled Athletes. Just get a load of these four-eyed freaks.

5. Kurt Rambis

4. James Worthy

3. Horace Grant

2. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

1. Chris Sabo

And let’s not forget about Dwyane Wade who has the thickest set of beer goggles we’ve ever seen on a pro athlete.

In other news…

[The World of Isaac]: Vince Young fails the NBA Wonderlic Test

[]: Tom Brady and David Beckham are sexy. We get it already!

[FanHouse]: John Daly and Kid Rock go together like cigarettes and strip clubs

[]: Gina Carano talks about being a female badass

[]: Renaldo Balkman’s New York Knickmobile

[Hugging Harry Reynolds]: Star Wars Sports, starring Eric Mangino as Jabba the Hut

[]: Watch out, the Ax Murderer has a blade!…And he’s shaving another man with it??? WTF?!

And finally, skateboards finally get a small measure of revenge against humans for years of abuse.


David Beckham delivers the loooong ball

Over the weekend, a soccer player scored a goal from 60-yards on an open net and, of course, it had to be David Beckham.

Like him or not, that was a pretty sweet goal.


David Beckham finally bends it in America

So, David Beckham has official conquered America as he scored his first MLS goal on Wednesday night to lead the L.A. Galaxy to a 2-0 win over D.C. United. Everyone can breathe a collective sigh of relief now that the Barry Bondsesque anticipation has finally subsided. And if anyone needs to take a deep inhale after the historic moment, it’s that crazy Spanish announcer dude who just starts screaming anytime someone kicks the ball into the net. If you can block out the annoying ESPN talking head during this clip then you’ll hear exactly what we mean.

This guy has been yelling “GOOOOOOOOOOOOOL” for years now, but we can’t help but be impressed every time we hear it. No offense to the American commentators who called the game, but you guys totally suck butt in comparison.


Nobody will get mad about shoes made from kangaroo, right?

David Beckham just got to America and he’s already causing trouble. Apparently the California Supreme Court has banned the sale of soccer cleats that Beckham made popular because they are made from kangaroo leather.

The kangaroo hide seems to make a pretty sweet shoe, but, for some reason, people are all worked up over the humane treatment of animals right now and a group of activists sued Adidas over the products. Guess the fact that endangered kangaroos are being killed for their skin isn’t sitting too well with ’em. Oh, and shooting them during night hunting parties and clubbing baby joeys to death isn’t helping either.

We sued because of the horrific way kangaroos are killed,” said Lauren Ornelas of Viva International Voice for Animals, which filed the lawsuit. “We sued because of the way Adidas is snubbing their noses at California’s law.

But before everyone gets hot and bothered and starts calling Beckham soccer’s version of Michael Vick, just know that his Predator cleats are made with synthetic leather. So, at least we know that Beckham is consistent; he likes his wife and his shoes to be artificial.


[]: Beckham’s `Roo shoes create controversy


This wasn’t the publicity that MLS had in mind when signing Beckham

Various newspapers around the football world (so virtually everywhere but the U.S.) are reporting that David Beckham might be regretting his decision to join the LA Galaxy for five years and $250M.

He will win his 96th cap in the European Championship qualifier against Estonia in Tallinn on Wednesday — a game England must win to re-establish their chances of reaching the Euro 2008 — before returning to Spain to try to clinch his first league title with Real.

But after the success of his comeback, when he laid on England’s goal by John Terry, he believes he may have made a mistake in switching to the low standard played in America, particularly if he is to make a swansong appearance at Euro 2008.

This is probably just sportswriter speculation (aka pulling a story out of you ass) but it certainly can’t be pleasing to MLS and LA Galaxy officials who are basically betting the future of the league on Beckham.  While there has been plenty of press on the Beckham effect — sponsorship of MLS is up and ticket sales for Beckham games home and away are through the roof — the implication that he is simply slumming it in a minor league for the cash isn’t helping the MLS break through to become a major sport in America.

We hope that Beckham’s MLS contract is iron clad because if he bails and finds a way to buy his way out of it, MLS might  as well just fold up tent and start selling assets on ebay.

[Daily Mail UK]: Beckham fears he has made a huge mistake with Galaxy deal

College Football

Odds and Ends: Jim Harbaugh takes the opening shot

What did I say?

Jim Harbaugh just got the job as Stanford’s coach and he’s already making enemies. Harbaugh came out and said that USC’s Pete Carroll would not be with the program come next year. Pete denied the statement and fired back with the ol’ “And if he has any questions about it he should call me.” Sounds like we have an old fashioned feud a brewin’, too bad these two won’t be suiting up when their teams get together on October 6.

In other news…

[Steroid Nation]: George Mitchell is taking his sweet time with this steroid inquiry

[Page Six]: Beckham says, why can’t I check the menu?

[]: A marathon isn’t squat after going to the moon and back

[Page Six]: LeBron like Karl Malone, loves big breaseses.

[The Big Lead]: Carl Pavano should go hang out with LeBron now

[]: Christian Laettner has already ordered two boxes

And for all you ladies out there, here’s a story to help you sleep a little better at night.


Odds and Ends: They might be overestimating soccer in this country

According to a British tabloid (via the offside), the LA police are preparing a special SWAT team to be on standby during Galaxy matches in case English fans who attend his U.S. matches decide to do what English fans do, which is make NYC students look like amateurs.

We’re very skeptical that any sort of Beckhamania is going to touch off a slew of brawls and rioting at MLS games. Plus, the English fans won’t dare riot in LA. If there’s one thing LA residents know how to do, it’s riot. And of course, the LA cops are experts at controlling uprisings…

In other news…

[SignOnSanDiego]: David “fast food” Wells develops diabetes? We never saw this one coming.

[]: Iditarod racer disqualified for beating his dogs. Bob Knights says, “what’s the big deal?”

[]: chief tossed. (And yes, we hate the video that autoplays on the front door. Idiots.)

[Slate]: Duke, Eastern Kentucky, and 11 other odious schools in this year’s NCAA Tournament.

And finally, anyone who has watched sports in the past five years is sick of Subway’s Jared. But is that enough to challenge him to a fight? And if you could fight anyone from a commercial, who would you fight? We’d have to go with one of the two douchebags from the Cingular commercials.


Beckham (Victoria) gets U.S. reality show

The Beckhams’ attempted cultural takeover of America has begun. It has been confirmed that Victoria Beckham aka Posh Spice has signed a deal to star in a reality show…er… “unscripted comedy series” about the Beckhams’ move to LA when David Beckham suits up for the LA Galaxy this summer. It’s your standard fish out of water premise, you know, just like Fresh Prince of Bel Air but with spoiled rich white people. Hilarity ensues.

Simon Fuller, creator of American Idol is set to produce and the show will be on NBC.

(Fuller) has so much success around the world with his TV shows and the respect and trust of everybody he works with.

This show is really something different. It’s pushing the boundaries, and I think it’s going to surprise a lot of people.

Why do celebrities always say their next project is going to “surprise a lot of people”. Listen, it’s going to surprise no one. The show will not push any boundaries. Victoria takes her kids out. Victoria goes to a Galaxy practice. Victoria goes to the spa. Victoria takes a wrong turn and ends up in a bad neighborhood in a very special episode of “Being Beckham”…

We’re sure America will tune in. Both the sports geeks and the starfuckers will be all over this at the get go. The question is whether it’s interesting enough to outlast Bonds on Bonds.

[SF]: Beckham Reality Show Confirmed


US Soccer just got a lot prettier

I love me some me

David Beckham made it official today and announced that he was leaving Real Madrid at the end of the season in June to join MLS’ LA Galaxy. His new contract is expected to be worth $250M over 5 years. MLS has a salary cap of $2M per season but league rules allow for a “superstar exemption”.

Beckham issued a statement:

I am proud to have played for two of the biggest clubs in football and I look forward to the new challenge of growing the world’s most popular game in a country that is as passionate about its sport as my own.

This is going to be a pretty tough task for Beckham. Pele played in the US at the end of his career but that didn’t increase the popularity of soccer in the US. Despite a lot of criticism from English fans, Beckham can still play (he did bail them out in the Round of 16 game vs Ecuador this year despite barfing during the game). But the question is whether he’ll be covered more in the tabloids or in the sports pages. We’re betting tabloids.

Here’s a hilarious video of Beckham and his alien wife (although she is kinda cool in this clip) being interviewed by Ali G.

[BBC]: Beckham agrees to LA Galaxy move
[IHT]: David Beckham Fact Box