College Football

Contagious viral videos worth catching

Whenever we’re in the mood for stupid videos, there’s only one place we turn to and that’s Duh! Anyways, we found a goldmine of stupidity/hilarity when we paid our most recent visit. First, we’ve got one of the sickest submissions you’ll ever see in a mixed martial arts competition.

Let’s see Rampage or Forrest Griffin do that on Saturday night.

Next up, is a video of a horse attempting a back flip.

Wait, did we say attempting a back flip? Sorry, we meant to say attempting to commit murder on its jockey.

Bonus Giggles: Peaches needs an intervention.


[]: Home


Horses get turned into glue when they get old, horse riders go to the Olympics

We’ve always heard that life goes straight downhill at 30. By that point, your washed up, fragile, mentally lost, physically weak and your only options left in life are to join ESPN or learn the samba on Dancing With the Stars. Oh, wait; that only applies to NFL running backs. Turns out 30 years old might just be a jumping off point fro the rest us.

Equestrian rider Hiroshi Hoketsu last went to the Olympics when he 22 years old, finishing 40th in his specialty, the show jumping event. Well, Hoketsu is back in the saddle again a few Olympics later and he’s ready to show the world that age is just a number. Oh, did we mention the last time he took to the worldwide stage was in 1964?

At 67, Hoketsu would beat the previous record age for a Japanese Olympian set by fellow equestrian Kikuko Inoue, who was 63 when she rode at the 1988 Seoul Olympics.

“It is more than likely Mr Hoketsu will take part in Beijing,” the Japan Equestrian Federation’s Azusa Kitano told Reuters on Thursday.

“He will be in the team dressage. He hasn’t been at an Olympics since 1964, which was 44 years ago, but he has continued riding all this time.”

The oldest Olympian was Swedish shooter Oscar Swahn who won his sixth Olympic medal at the 1920 Antwerp Games at the age of 72 years and 280 days.

The youngest athlete to participate at the Olympics was Greek gymnast Dimitrios Loundras, who competed in the 1896 Athens Olympics. He was 10.

Wow, now that’s impressive. The guy is going to be 67 and he’s still riding horses! Who does he think he is? Superman? Okay, maybe that was a poor reference.


[]: Age no barrier for sexagenarian horseman

All Other Sports

Veteran Jockey proves that Napoleon complex is a reality

You’ve probably never heard the name Victor Molina before, but all you Barbaro lovers won’t be forgetting it anytime soon. That’s because the long time jockey got pissed off when his horse Yes Yes Ohyes reared up in the starting gates during Monday’s races at a Philadelphia racetrack and struck Molina in the chest. So, how does the predictably tiny jockey deal with the unruly colt? Why he hops off and gives the 2-year-old a swift kick to the belly.

The threat of knowing the horse could hurt you, if anything, got me upset,” he said. “The idea that I could have got hurt, I just got mad at him. Maybe that’s why I kicked him.

What do you mean “maybe” that’s why you kicked him? Were there some other extenuating circumstances in your relationship that we don’t know about? C’mon, don’t pull this typical athlete B.S. and beat around the bush. Just be a man and admit that you blew a gasket and went haywire on an innocent animal. There’s no sense in making it something it’s not, the entire act was caught on tape.

The little bastard went on to say:

My chest still hurts, but that’s not what hurts me most right now,” he said. “It’s what happened to my reputation. My record is clean and it speaks for itself.

Yeah, reputations tend to be destroyed when you treat animals like $#!+; just ask Michael Vick. Molina’s penalty has yet to be revealed, but we’re hoping it’s more than just a simple fine or brief suspension. Hell, if it was up to us, we’d say it should be an eye for an eye. Or, actually, it should be a kick for a kick, and we recommend this big fella does the kicking:

Either that or we just ferret leg his punk ass!


[]: Jockey Kicks Horse

Cincinnati Bengals

Chad Johnson shuts us up

A while back we told Chad Johnson that he should reconsider racing a horse because we thought that he’d get smoked. Well, when you’re wrong, you’re wrong and this time we were wrong. Ocho-Cinco ended up being the one doing the smoking (no, not that kind of smoking) as he torched that colt like he torches, well, the Colts.

But what really surprised us was what Johnson said after the race as he called out Floyd Mayweather, Kobe Bryant, LeBron James and some NASCAR hillbilly to take him on in their respective professions. Listen, we all know that Johnson is a helluvan athlete but surely he’s bitten off more than his big mouth can chew this time. That stupid horse might have made us look stupid but there is no way CJ KO’s Mayweather or dunks on LBJ. Is there?

Dallas Cowboys

A Cowboy rescues a horse. Go figure.

Big Leonard Davis left the Cardinals for the Cowboys during the off-season but the offensive lineman still owns a home out in Arizona which is where he was on Wednesday. And there is one particular horse, yes horse, named Ranger who is very happy that Davis was in town.

See, the former Longhorn was heading to his home in Chandler, Ariz. after playing in a golf tournament for the Boys when he noticed a horse stuck in a mudhole down the street from his ranch. Being a good ol’ boy at heart, Davis jumped in his John Deere tractor and sprung into action by strapping up the horse and hoisting it to safety.

I was just doing what anybody else would have done,” Davis said. “I wasn’t scared at all. I grew up on a farm pulling cows and horses out of the mud. No big deal.

It might not be that big of a deal for you Leonard, but we think it’s pretty admirable. We’re proud of you, man! At least somebody in the world of sports cares about animals.

Oh, and for all you future reporters out there, here’s an example of how not to write this story.


[]: No horsing around: Davis comes to the rescue