All Other Sports

Arkansas, you just got Punk’d!

There’s cage fighting and then there’s gay fighting and rarely do the two ever mix. But gay-cage fighting is exactly what a crowd of Little Rock spectators got when they showed up to an event called “Blue Collar Brawlin” back on June 5 which was actually an elaborate gag for Sacha Baron Cohen’s new film entitled Bruno.

Crowds in Arkansas came for the lure of cage fighting and $1 beer, but police say what they got instead was men ripping each others’ clothes off and kissing — a stunt suspected of being orchestrated by Sacha Baron Cohen of Borat fame. …

Fort Smith police Sgt. Adam Holland said organizers told him a character named “Straight Dave” would goad a planted audience member into the ring for a fight.

The two men would then wrestle, rip away some of their clothes and share a brief kiss reminiscent of one between Baron Cohen and Will Ferrell in the film Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby.

Producers said “there would be a romantic embrace,” Holland said. “They said it was kind of to essentially make fun, poke fun at wrestling — two guys rolling around on the floor, all sweaty.”

An elaborate array of mounted and handheld video cameras caught the crowd of 1,600’s reaction as the two men “went right up to the line” of the city’s morality laws, Holland said. The two men stripped down to their underwear, kissed and rubbed on each other, the sergeant said.

The audience, as well as local fighters drawn to take part in the show, became enraged. “It set the crowd off lobbing beers,” Holland said. “They had beers in plastic cups. Those things can get some distance on them actually.”

Holland said it took officers about 45 minutes to clear the convention center, as the two actors sprinted away through a specially set-aside tunnel.

So, the fight wasn’t real; big deal. According to Lyoto Machida, neither was the Forrest Griffin-Rampage Griffin fight.


[]: Arkansas fight fans fall for Baron Cohen stunt

All Other Sports

Forget voting; let’s settle this election WWE style

Just when it looks like the WWE can’t possibly get any more outrageous, they go off and do something like this…and totally redeem themselves!!

One day before they duke it out in the important Pennsylvania Democratic primary, presidential hopefuls Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama are being invited to bring their fight to the ring.

World Wrestling Entertainment is inviting the two senators to compete in a match on Monday Night Raw on April 21.

“Forget about who’s better prepared when the phone rings at 3 a.m. and find out who’s better when the bell rings,” says an ad on WWE’s Web site.

There’s no immediate word on whether either side will accept the invitation.

Yea, that makes a lot of sense. The odds of Clinton and Obama going head-to-head in a WWE ring is about as likely as Ric Flair wanting to show off his sweet dancing moves on a retarded reality show. Oops, too late.


[]: WWE invites Clinton, Obama to wrestle

All Other Sports

Floyd Mayweather faces his BIGGEST challenge to date, even if it’s fake

Floyd Mayweather doesn’t need any cheap gimmicks to keep his name in the headlines or to remind people that he is the best pound-for-pound fighter in the world, but that didn’t stop him displaying his twinkle-toes on Dancing With the Stars. On Sunday, he did it again by hopping in the ring with The Big Show at the WWE pay-per-view No Way Out. In case you haven’t heard, Mayweather teed off on the big fella and broke his nose, leaving one pissed off, bleeding giant wanting revenge. On Monday Night RAW, Show got what he wanted when he convinced Mayweather to take him on in a wrestling match. We don’t know how the WWE plans to spin this thing, but it should be interesting to watch. Hopefully, just hopefully, it ends with another flurry of fists; just like it started.

High School Sports

This is not exactly what the Grecos or the Romans had in mind

From what we’re told, this is high school wrestling and it certainly appears to be a couple of pimple-popping adolescents, but it sure looks like WWE to us.

He [Brent Foxhoven] ended up finishing third in the tournament, but he clearly pulled off the highlight of the weekend.

Foxhoven said he has been practicing the move for a few weeks, and he seized his opportunity to show it off.

“He almost pushed me out of bounds,” Foxhoven said. “I was hoping he would come up on it. It was the perfect spot to hit it.

That’s what she said.


[]: Nebraska Wrestler Flips Out Of Tight Spot

All Other Sports

Being retarded goes a long way in backyard wrestling

We’ve showed you just how idiotic and dangerous pro wrestling can be when complete morons step inside the ropes with the sole purpose of shocking the masses or murdering their opponent. But, at least these guys are getting paid to put their bodies on the line. The pay probably sucks, but they’re still being compensated for their efforts. The even bigger numbskulls are the kids who try to imitate these extremists, seemingly thinking that they are invincible. Guess what; you’re not. And while dropping you’re friend on his head off your roof might sound like fun, apparently it’s not all that great. But, that doesn’t mean it’s not hilarious to make fun of just how stupid wannabes can be.

Good luck making it to the big time, kids. You’re going to need it.

High School Sports

Another sad high school wrestling story

High school wrestlers, in general, seem to be some pretty disturbed dudes. Just ask the six guys who had their anuses violated by 17-year-old wrestling champ Jerome Hunt. But don’t forget that this is a sick, sick world that we live in and the kids who wrestle aren’t the only ones with some seriously troubled minds.

A Wisconsin high school wrestling coach has been charged with two counts of first-degree criminal sexual conduct and three more counts of assault and battery, which is a fancy way of saying that this prick raped two students. In fact, the 36-year-old Ira Bernard Durham was so bold in his actions that he has been accused of actually raping the two girls earlier in this school year on the campus grounds and during regular school hours.

Apparently Durham is a member of the National Wrestling Hall of Fame and he’ll probably get to brush up on those HOF skills when he’s trying to keep Bubba from taking his back for a reverse mount. It’s about to be shocker time for you asshole!


[]: Rock Hill wrestling coach accused of raping two students

NHL General

Odds and Ends: Time to ask whether fighting belongs in hockey?

Is Colin Campbell insane? He told the Canadian press that “it’s time to ask the question” about whether fighting should be banned in the NHL. The only reason why hockey even registers as a major league sport is because of the fighting. Now for those who love hockey and not just hockey fights, fighting is still an integral part of the game. The enforcers, defending your superstars, having the back of your teammates, hell, even goalie fights are a big part of hockey tradition.

Sure it’s fun to see Sidney Crosby or Ovechkin do their thing but it’s also fun to see two goons square off. The problem with hockey is the cheap shots and the swinging of lumber. The old fashioned dropping of the gloves should never go away. That’s one on one man stuff that we love… in a purely heterosexual way of course.

In other news…

[MSNBC]: Kobe angrily denies contacting Durant for Nike… takes it out on the Grizz.

[Myspace]: Pro Wrestler (Edge) admits steroids use on myspace blog

[AJC]: Police deny Vick had any jewelry in water bottle. What they don’t know is that “jewelry” is the new street slang for weed

[Slam Sports]: Former Sixer Todd MacCulloch is the 208th best pinball player in the world. Falls 207 places behind deaf dumb and blind kid.

[The Big Lead]: Don’t worry USC, Tim Floyd isn’t going to Michigan

[Boton Herald]: ebay tells Manny to take his grill and shove it… but Jenn-Air wants Manny to do a commercial

And finally, don’t forget to watch everyone’s favorite awkward quarterback, Peyton Manning on Saturday Night Live.

College Basketball

Odds and Ends: A true American hero

Who runs a $22 office pool?

Michigan state representative Kim Meltzer wants to decriminalize NCAA tournament pools because “what makes March Madness unique is that all kinds of people and sports fans of all levels fill out their brackets and enjoy the tournament. It’s a crime we consider that a crime, and I want to change it.”

Bravo Kim! Bravo! Any pool that’s $20 or less would be legal. Although nobody ever gets prosecuted over an office pool, it shouldn’t be illegal to throw your money away to the guy who just moved here from Bangladesh and is picking teams based on mascots. Hell, the office pool is probably the only chance sports geeks get a chance to talk to that cute girl in marketing. God Bless America and the bracket!

In other news…

[Sign On San Diego]: Adonal Foyle is now free to make fun of Canadians

[WrestleZone]: When your false teeth come flying out during a match, you might want to stop wrestling

[Nashville City Paper]: Even Pacman Jones knows he’s in a heap of trouble

[The Offside]: Sometimes you just gotta check the ol’ undercarriage

[The Big Lead]: Bill Belichick won’t have to testify for banging Sharon Shenocca

[10,000 Takes]: Yeah but where are the strippers?

And finally, we hope you signed up for March Madness On Demand cause it’s gonna be crazy this Thursday. Here’s a list of the announcer schedules. Sadly, one of the most intriguing Cinderalla matchups (Butler/ODU) has Kevin Harlan on the mic.

High School Sports

Dear wrestling champ, please keep your fingers out of my rectum

High school wrestling always gets a bad rap… partly because two sweaty dudes grappling with each other sends up the red rainbow flag like you wouldn’t believe. However, we wrestled in high school and we’re not gay (except for that one time with Tim Hardaway in the Heat locker room). Still, when a story like this comes out, it doesn’t do anyone any good.

A 17-year-old state wrestling champ named Jerome Hunt has been accused by 6 former Parker High School wrestlers that he either raped them or tried to rape them with his fingers. However, his lawyer says that the “penetration” was a result of legitimate wrestling moves known as “skinning” and the “butt drag”. Listen, there are no legitimate wrestling moves that involve a finger actually in the rectum. NONE. Well, there is the “hold and sodomize” move but that’s only allowed in overtime… and in prison.

The victims said that the attacks happened before practice, on the team bus or at a wrestling camp. Now Hunt might be as dedicated as Louden Swain but “practicing” skinning and butt dragging on the team bus is a little too much. One victim said Hunt also kissed him so at least he’s a gentleman. You don’t just go penetrating people without a smooch.

[Fox News]: South Dakota High School Wrestlers Testify They Were Raped by Teammate
[Comedy Central]: Fingerbang

General Sports

Odds and Ends: More on the SI Swimsuit Issue

We thought SI was trying too hard and making a mistake by putting Beyonce on the cover. Now we see they are trying to even harder with this new Swimsuit photos in 3-D business. By layering pictures, they are creating a 3-D effect. Hot models in 3-D? Sign us up! But the technology is really poorly done. All that happens is the reader just ends up with a moving blurring photograph that sucks. Stick to the basics, SI, that’s what got you $35M in ad revenue for the swimsuit issue in the first place. Check out Slate’s Intellectual History of the Swimsuit Issue. (Oh by the way, nice ipod.)

In other news…

[]: Bobby Petrino gives Michael Vick more rope to hang himself responsibility

[Toronto Star]: Grey Cup naming rights to be sold

[The Big Lead]: Sacramento State Girls Know How to Party (Well, the Soccer Team Does)

[Can’t Stop the Bleeding]: Toronto still loves Vince Carter

[]: All Star “Snubs” – An Exercise in Intellectual Laziness

And finally, we have two wrestling stories. First is a good one about a wrestler with no legs who is kicking ass in Missouri. The second… well, just watch the clip below. (We don’t know what the hell is up with the audio.)