Categories
All Other Sports

Rick Mahorn flashes back to the late 80s, mistakes Lisa Leslie for Larry Bird

In case you missed it – wait, what the hell are we saying? Of course you missed it, we’re talking WNBA here. The odds of someone actually catching the Malice in the Palace Part Deux live is about as likely as Andy Dick being crowned winner of season two of The Pick-up Artist. But, as with any catfight, word spread quickly amongst the male community and televisions around the world simultaneoulsly tuned to ESPN and, in unison, we waited for our highlights to arrive. Oh, and arrive they did.

So after watching that we know plenty about the brawl and the aftermath, but somewhere in the melee we lost focus of what caused the first ever WNBA brawl. Luckily, Epic Carnival has narrowed it down to 11 possibilities.

11. It’s what the audience wants, though it would have been so much better with just a little hair pulling and wardrobe malfunctions

10. When it’s the Shock and the Sparks, you just have to expect this kind of intensity, dammit

9. Shock assistant coach Rick Mahorn had a flashback to his past lives

8. Lisa Leslie’s kid wouldn’t go to sleep last night, so she was kind of on edge

7. David Stern told the league that if they didn’t do something to get publicity, he’d cancel the apples and salt licks

6. Someone called Mahorn fat, which is totally unfair, as he’s just retaining water at this time of the month

5. Not enough foreign-born players in the league to defray actual hostilities with comic flopping

4. Players are still bitter over the lack of fantasy league action on their games

3. Trying to eliminate all differences from the men’s game, even the ones that are probably good

2. The WNBA’s several dollar fines are not enough of a deterrent to the players, many of whom make four figures

1. The collective prayers of sports bloggers desperate for a train wreck event to write about were answered

Oh, and PMS too.

Links:

[Epic Carnival]: Top 11 Causes Of Tonight’s WNBA Brawl

Categories
Boxing

Kapow! Right in her kisser. Yup, HER kisser

Yet another reason why you should never, ever, ever get into a fight with a girl. You might think they’re all nail-scratching and crotch-kicking, but they’re not. Sometimes they can actually kick your butt and let us be the first to tell you, that sh** is embarrassing. You might want to lash out and retaliate, but no matter how many punches she delivers cleanly to your face, you just can’t go off and do this:

Seriously, what kind of a lowlife hits a chick like that?

Categories
General Sports

Meow! Jenn Sterger pounces on Erin Andrews and Jill Arrington


We’ve gained a lot of our wisdom from watching Seinfeld and we can only pray to sweet, tiny baby Jesus that Jerry was right about catfights.

Men think if women are grabbing and clawing at each other there’s a chance they might somehow, you know… kiss.

Odds are they’ll just grab each other’s hair or start flailing limp-wristed slaps at one another, but if this particular catfight turns into a kiss then millions of male sports fans will be completely content to die and go to heaven.

The Big Lead has word that Jenn Sterger started a bit of a stink last week when she lashed out at fellow babes Erin Andrews and Jill Arrington during a radio interview.

Around the 12 minute mark, the hosts quit fawning over Sterger for a moment to ask about Andrews:

She’s very talented. But it’s so funny because if you look at her old tapes back when she worked at the Lightning, it was the most dreadful stuff you’ve ever seen in your life. People compare me and say, well, she’s no Erin Andrews … and I’m like, well, who’s No. 1 on the computer. Suck it.”

[Yeah, we’re also perplexed about what ‘No. 1 on the computer’ means. But it reeks of Cindy Margolis.] What about Jill Arrington?

Oh, no, not my thing. I just don’t want to get that haircut and wear turtlenecks for a living. It’s just not my shtick. If there’s ever a chance for a hot girl to make it into sports, until then …

Later in the interview, Sterger said Derek Jeter “isn’t my type,” but that makes sense because he’s a successful, athletic, wealthy man.

Can’t we all just throw on our bathing suits, hop in the hot tub, toss back a few glasses of champagne and get along? Is that really too much to ask?

Links:

[The Big Lead]: Jenn Sterger is Not Impressed with Erin Andrews

Categories
College Football

Don’t mess with this Hawg’s hog, uh, scooter

Soaring gas prices are hitting everyone hard, forcing many to resort to unconventional means of transportation. Some are choosing to walk when they can, others ride bicycles around town, while some brave souls even dare to climb aboard the public transportation systems (Note: Watch out for homeless people’s urine in the seats. We learned the hard way.). All in all, this lifestyle change is making the general population a bit cranky and edgy. Case in point, 6-foot-1-inch, 205-pound Arkansas linebacker Wendel Davis opted to go with riding a scooter and went psycho when he was rear-ended.

Arkansas linebacker Wendel Davis faces a felony criminal mischief charge after police say he punched through the window of a car that bumped his scooter.

Davis, 19, of Sweeny, Texas is scheduled to appear before a judge July 30 over the charge, stemming from an altercation Tuesday afternoon. If convicted, Davis could face up to 10 years in prison and a $10,000 fine.

A university police spokesman says Davis’ fist put dents into the car and broke its windshield. Davis was released without bond pending his court hearing.

OK, so there appears to be more to this story than simple road rage over gas prices like we indicated earlier. Turns out Davis was involved in an altercation with the rear-ender, Onyebuchi Odunukwe, hours before the “accident” and sent Davis threatening texts during the days prior. What caused the beef? A chickenhead, of course.

Davis said the threats began after he kissed Odunukwe’s girlfriend early Saturday
morning.

The babes simply can’t resist mopeds.

Links:

[AJC.com]: Arkansas LB Davis faces felony charge
[HawgsIllustrated.com]: Davis Claims Motorist Threatened Him

Categories
All Other Sports

The best/only lacrosse fight we’ve seen in a long time

We’ve never really been fans of lacrosse, but the two dudes in this next clip have us searching the web to find the nearest indoor lacrosse game.


Lacrosse Fight – Watch more free videos

And while we’re on the subject of fighting, here’s a video we found displaying why you should never bring your kid brother to a throw down. Warning: Get out the earmuffs for the youngsters before watching.

Categories
Boston Celtics

Odds and Ends: How well do you know Rajon Rondo?


You’d think Rajon Rondo would have enough on his plate as it is with the bum ankle and The NBA Finals going on and all, but Rondo is no normal man. See, while he’s rehabbing and studying tape, he’s also giving back to all his fans out there. But you better know your random Rondo trivia.

I’m going to challenge you with some trivia – see how much you know about me. Get the answers right and I’ll send you an autographed headband. If a bunch of people get them right then I’ll hit the first three. I’m going to do this every day through the rest of the Finals so if you don’t get the first one right you’ll have another shot.

We’ll start with a high school question. I went to Oak Hill Academy and 2004 I set the school record for most assists in a game with 31. Who’s record did I break?

Get it right and I’m sending you a headband. Hit me back. I’ll holla

In other news…

[The Slanch Report]: Nutty 50 minute brawl at minor league baseball game

[Sportaphile.com]: Vernon Davis grabs some of Flavor Flav’s sloppy seconds

[The World of Isaac]: Fights you’d love to watch over and over and over again

[YardBarker.com]: What do we gotta do to get this kid in the ring with Chris Leben?

[Epic Carnival]: 10 reasons sports should go green

[TMZ.com]: Tommy Lasorda is old and impatient

[MixMakers.net]: Paul Pierce’s special edition jersey hits the shelves

And finally, the evolution of the fist bump.

Categories
Boston Red Sox

Red Sox and black eyes

The Red Sox and the Rays played a ho-hum game for about an inning and a half before the good times really began to roll as Coco Crisp charged the mound with ferocity causing the benches to clear in an all-out WWE-style brawl. And, of course, at the end of the clip is footage of Manny being Manny.

Links:

[TheSoxReport.com]: Video of the Red Sox Rays brawl and Youkilis Manny Ramirez argument in the dugout

Categories
General Sports

Jose, are you ready? Curt, are you ready? Let’s get it on!


When Celebrity Boxing first appeared on FOX, we were stoked. But that was before we were forced to endure horrible, horrible fights like Manute Bol vs. Refrigerator Perry and Joey Buttafuoco vs. Chyna. Of course, the final straw for us came when Screech pulverized Horshack. Talk about disheartening! However, it appears we final have reason to root for FOX to throw the show back on the air.

Retired steroid slugger Jose Canseco challenged Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling to a fight while appearing this morning on Angelo Cataldi’s morning show on WIP in Philadelphia. Canseco also claimed the bloody sock that helped make Schilling famous was actually ketchup.

Damn, is there anything Canseco won’t do for a wad of cash?! Talk about desperate! But we gotta give him points for being creative because a lot of people would love to see Shill get his ass handed to him on a plate. Of course, regardless of what goes down in the ring, the highlight of the night will be when they show the gratuitous clip of Canseco using his noggin as a baseball trampoline. That never gets old.

Links:

[Larry Brown Sports]: Canseco vs. Schilling, Celebrity Boxing?

Categories
New York Yankees

Yankees fan turns rivalry game into a WWE Battle Royal

Some southerners out there don’t really understand the magnitude of the rivalry between the Yankees and the Red Sox. More importantly, they don’t really understand the magnitude of the rivalry between the Yankees’ fans and the Red Sox’s fans. For anyone who doesn’t get it, we would like to present exhibit A.


http://view.break.com/492096 – Watch more free videos

Categories
LA Lakers

Vanessa Bryant gets into a cat fight with an ESPN writer


When Kobe Bryant gets mad, he takes it out on the poor souls in opposing jerseys that happen to be attempting to guard him. Unfortunately, his wife Vanessa can’t pull off a cross-over dribble or go reverse off the glass, so, instead, when she’s unhappy, she uses her words. And most of them are bad; at least, according to ESPN The Magazine writer Laura Lane.

Last night, I got cussed out by Vanessa Bryant. Seriously. At the Lakers game. In front of her kids. In front of the Lakers locker room. It was awesome. She is mad about an article I wrote where I mentioned her. That means one of two things – she either reads the ESPN blog or she has herself on Google alerts. Both are fantastic.

So as I’m walking out of the Lakers locker room after some post-game interviews with the players, I pass Vanessa, who is sitting outside the locker room as usual with her two girls.

“Laura!” she screams (yes, she apparently knows my name). “Fuck you! You fucking bitch!”

“Excuse me?” I say, completely baffled as I look around me to see if there is someone else named Laura. No, there’s not.

Her daughters – ages 5 and 2 – are sitting next to her on the bench looking at their mom as she screams.

“Fuck you! How dare you write about me and my daughters and their schedule! You didn’t say you were writing an article! Fuck you! You fucking bitch. You have no journalism ethics! Fuck you! You bitch – ”

I just stare at her. I’ve heard many stories about her from reporters, but this was unbelievable. Two of my friends from the LA Times told me how she cussed out one of them last season, because he said hi to her daughter. “Join the club, this means you’ve arrived,” said one reporter when word spread of my run-in with Vanessa. “She’s insane,” said another. “Everyone knows it.”

Maybe Lane should consider purchasing Vanessa a $4 million purple diamond ring. That shut her up once before.

Links:

[Awful Announcing]: ESPN Writer Gets Cussed Out By Kobe Bryant’s Wife