When Kobe Bryant gets mad, he takes it out on the poor souls in opposing jerseys that happen to be attempting to guard him. Unfortunately, his wife Vanessa can’t pull off a cross-over dribble or go reverse off the glass, so, instead, when she’s unhappy, she uses her words. And most of them are bad; at least, according to ESPN The Magazine writer Laura Lane.
Last night, I got cussed out by Vanessa Bryant. Seriously. At the Lakers game. In front of her kids. In front of the Lakers locker room. It was awesome. She is mad about an article I wrote where I mentioned her. That means one of two things – she either reads the ESPN blog or she has herself on Google alerts. Both are fantastic.
So as I’m walking out of the Lakers locker room after some post-game interviews with the players, I pass Vanessa, who is sitting outside the locker room as usual with her two girls.
“Laura!” she screams (yes, she apparently knows my name). “Fuck you! You fucking bitch!”
“Excuse me?” I say, completely baffled as I look around me to see if there is someone else named Laura. No, there’s not.
Her daughters – ages 5 and 2 – are sitting next to her on the bench looking at their mom as she screams.
“Fuck you! How dare you write about me and my daughters and their schedule! You didn’t say you were writing an article! Fuck you! You fucking bitch. You have no journalism ethics! Fuck you! You bitch – ”
I just stare at her. I’ve heard many stories about her from reporters, but this was unbelievable. Two of my friends from the LA Times told me how she cussed out one of them last season, because he said hi to her daughter. “Join the club, this means you’ve arrived,” said one reporter when word spread of my run-in with Vanessa. “She’s insane,” said another. “Everyone knows it.”
Maybe Lane should consider purchasing Vanessa a $4 million purple diamond ring. That shut her up once before.
[Awful Announcing]: ESPN Writer Gets Cussed Out By Kobe Bryant’s Wife