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Rick Mahorn flashes back to the late 80s, mistakes Lisa Leslie for Larry Bird

In case you missed it – wait, what the hell are we saying? Of course you missed it, we’re talking WNBA here. The odds of someone actually catching the Malice in the Palace Part Deux live is about as likely as Andy Dick being crowned winner of season two of The Pick-up Artist. But, as with any catfight, word spread quickly amongst the male community and televisions around the world simultaneoulsly tuned to ESPN and, in unison, we waited for our highlights to arrive. Oh, and arrive they did.

So after watching that we know plenty about the brawl and the aftermath, but somewhere in the melee we lost focus of what caused the first ever WNBA brawl. Luckily, Epic Carnival has narrowed it down to 11 possibilities.

11. It’s what the audience wants, though it would have been so much better with just a little hair pulling and wardrobe malfunctions

10. When it’s the Shock and the Sparks, you just have to expect this kind of intensity, dammit

9. Shock assistant coach Rick Mahorn had a flashback to his past lives

8. Lisa Leslie’s kid wouldn’t go to sleep last night, so she was kind of on edge

7. David Stern told the league that if they didn’t do something to get publicity, he’d cancel the apples and salt licks

6. Someone called Mahorn fat, which is totally unfair, as he’s just retaining water at this time of the month

5. Not enough foreign-born players in the league to defray actual hostilities with comic flopping

4. Players are still bitter over the lack of fantasy league action on their games

3. Trying to eliminate all differences from the men’s game, even the ones that are probably good

2. The WNBA’s several dollar fines are not enough of a deterrent to the players, many of whom make four figures

1. The collective prayers of sports bloggers desperate for a train wreck event to write about were answered

Oh, and PMS too.


[Epic Carnival]: Top 11 Causes Of Tonight’s WNBA Brawl

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