College Football

Hey, Donald, nobody likes a giant duck with a bad attitude

Okay, so what happens when Shasta the Houston Cougar pisses off Donald Duck? Well, Shasta gets his ass handed to him and Donald gets slapped with a one game suspension.

So, was it worth it? When you spend your free time in a sweaty, smelly, hot, heavy, gigantic duck suit, hell yeah it is!


[]: Bad Duck! Oregon Mascot Suspended

All Other Sports

Jose Offerman charged the mound and then got charged with assault

Former MLBer and current Long Island Ducks shortstop Jose Offerman was arrested on Tuesday night after he went ballistic and attacked Bridgeport Bluefish pitcher Matt Beech with his bat following a beaning in the second inning.

The game started off pretty good for Offerman as he homered in the first inning, but a fastball to the calf in the second caused Offerman to charge the mound, bat in hand, and a major league fight broke out in the minors. Offerman was charged with a second-degree assault and reportedly got out of the pokey after posting the $10,000 bond.

He hit him with a cut fastball in the left calf,” Bluefish manager Tommy John said. “And the next thing you know, Offerman’s going to the mound with his bat over his head taking swings at Beech. He took at least two, maybe even three [swings].

Luckily, the only thing that was seriously injured in the scuffle was Offerman’s integrity. The focus of Offerman’s fury escaped the assault with a broken middle finger on his non-throwing hand, but catcher John Nathans ended up being an unintentional victim in the whole ordeal as he went home sporting symptoms of a concussion.

It may have only been John Nathans taking one on the backswing in the head to have saved Matt Beech from really taking one in the face,” said Bluefish pitcher Mike Porzio.

Listen, we love a good dust-up as much as the next guy, but is this baseball or a reenactment of the infamous brawl in The Warriors? Whatever happened to simply charging the mound and matching fists with the guy? Maybe Offerman was afraid something like this would happen.


[]: Ducks’ Offerman, wielding bat, attacks pitcher


Another soccer fan gets his melee on

Soccer always finds new ways to entertain us with it’s antics outside the normal realm of play. Most of the time it involves some type of violence and this time is nothing different. During a game between Trabzonspor and Sivasspor (at least that’s what The Offside tells us) in the 2007/2008 Turkish Premier Super League a typical soccer scuffle broke out between players following a foul. But then things got interesting as a lunatic fan ran onto the pitch and started throwing punches. Before you know it, it’s a free-for-all between players, fans and security.

We think that anyone who runs onto the field of play during any sporting event deserves whatever they get and we were happy to see that some of those knuckleheads got tackled with some force. But we still wish that this guy had been playing during the match.


[The Offside]: Fan Attacks Player in Turkey, Chaos Ensues

Tennessee Titans

Vince Young loses his cool during training camp

Lots of people were surprised that Vince Young was able to perform at such a high level during his rookie year after he appeared to be borderline mentally handicapped when racking up an unimpressive Wonderlic score. He had always shown such poise and sound judgment when behind center last year that it seemed as if VY was simply unflappable. That was until yesterday.

Young got more than a little heated when Titans safety Donnie Nickey took down rookie receiver Joel Filani, who had to be assisted by trainers to the sideline after the hard hit, and followed that up by using a chokehold/clothesline to tackle Courtney Roby. As Young was checking up on his receiver, Nickey and Young began pushing, shoving and hollering at each other. But by the day’s end, all was well between those involved. The group even held a humorous press conference with Coach Jeff Fisher after training camp concluded for the day.

However, the situation could have been much worse for the Tennessee franchise because Young was actually throwing punches at the helmeted Nickey with his throwing hand!

That’s bad. That’s bad. That’s real bad,” Young said.

And while Nickey played the role of the bad guy during the initial incident, he stated that it was just a heat of the moment type thing and was even cracking jokes and giving advice about the scuffle afterwards.

At least not with your right hand man. Jab with the left and wait for the cavalry,” Nickey


[]: Boxing day

All Other Sports

IRL didn’t like the Kanaan/Hornish fight, but we did

The fines finally came down after the brawl between the crews of Tony Kanaan and Sam Hornish Jr. following a race in Watkins Glen, N.Y., on Sunday and the Indy Racing League didn’t go easy on the fellas. Both drivers have been fined an unknown amount and placed on probation for the remainder of the year, while each driver’s team was fined $25,000 for unsportmanlike conduct and also placed on probation until 2008.

The most memorable moment from the whole pit road debacle was when Hornish’s pops gave a two handed shove to Kanaan and started the big brawl. Daddy was given a one race suspension and got the same probation sentence as everyone else who was involved. We know that the IRL can’t put up with this kind of crap from their drivers and crews, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t totally entertaining.

If it was up to us, every race would end with a brawl and a bunch of smack talk. It’s better than climbing a stupid fence.


[]: IRL fines teams $25,000 each for Watkins Glen fracas

All Other Sports

The scoop showdown in San Antonio: print vs. broadcast

We didn’t realize these guys moved
to San Antonio.

There’s nothing we love more than a good cat fight…unfortunately, we have nothing to report on the cat fight front, but we did find a Texas sized war of words deep in the heart of San Antonio. Turns out that local TV station KSAT stole all the credit for breaking the “P.J. Carlesimo to coach Seattle” story, when in reality, it was the San Antonio Express-News who originally discovered that P.J. was jumping from assistant in S.A. to numero uno man in Seattle.

This, unfortunately, has become standard practice at KSAT, where (Larry) Ramirez, Greg Simmons and David Sears are more comfortable deceiving their viewers than they are practicing real journalism. Real journalism would entail developing sources and contacts, doing a little work on your own. Apparently that’s too complicated for this trio.

So, for all you aspiring journalists out there, be sure to give credit where credit is due or you could find yourself getting slammed by the name-calling Express-News too.

But Larry, Greggy and Davey have set a whole new standard for laziness, thievery and ineptness. And until the three stooges at KSAT man up and admit they are incapable of doing their own reporting, we’ll recognize them as journalism miscreants, a species that some day, hopefully, will become extinct.

Can’t we all just get along?


[]: KSAT’s `journalists’ have robbed the E-N again

Chicago Cubs

Derrek Lee and Chris Young both swing and both miss

Were you let down by UFC’s latest disappointing pay-per-view? Well, if you were then maybe you should have saved that $40 you dished out for Rich Franklin vs. Yushin Okami and tuned into the Cubs vs. Padres game on Saturday to see the fight attempted fight between Derrek Lee and Chris Young.

There really wasn’t all that much action when it came to knuckles pounding skulls but it still lasted longer than the championship bout between Chuck Liddell and Quinton Jackson.

After Lee got hit by a Young pitch in the fourth inning, things got heated as Lee started swinging for the fences and we’re not talking about the long ball either. Both benches cleared during the fracas and by the time the pile of humanity was separated there were four ejections dished out, including Lee, Young, Padres pitcher Jake Peavy and Cubs hitting coach Gerald Perry.

And you thought that the Cubbies would only throw down with their teammates.


[]: Lee, Young Ejected After Padres, Cubs Fight


Annika vs. Michelle: Let’s get it on!

Despite being a horrendous golfer, Michelle Wie continues to get the hype. But now she’s finally starting to face some harsh criticism as well. Especially after a suspicious wrist injury forced her to withdraw from the Ginn Tribute as she came perilously close to breaking 88; had she broke the magic number it would have prevented her from playing for the remainder of the year. Oh, but that wrist was good enough to smack some balls over the weekend at Bulle Rock.

So, it starts with the fibbing of an injury here and there and before you know it we’ve got the next Lindsay Lohan on our hands. But before we look too far into the future, we want to focus on the present because Annika Sorenstam just put a verbal smack down on the teenybopper.

I just feel that there’s a little bit of lack of respect and class just to leave a tournament like that and then come out and practice here,” said Sorenstam, who soldiered on for four days despite returning from a back and neck injury.

“It’s a little funny that you pull out with an injury and then you start grinding. My doctor told me to rest.

Ohhhh, burn! What you got to say about that Wie?

I’m going through a hard time,” she said. “It’s my first time facing an injury.”

Asked about Sorenstam’s criticism, Wie said nothing was said to her and she had nothing to say back.

“I don’t think I need to apologize for anything,” she said. “I just have to take care of my body and move forward and only think of positive things.

You know what this means, right? Cat fight!!!!!!!!


[]: Wie, no longer prodigy, faces harsh criticism
[Golf World]: Tension Convention

General Sports

We felt like doing the same thing to Joakim Noah

A soccer match is a cheap shot waiting to happen but it usually involves two players, not a player and a drunken spectator. Well, last night was the exception as an angry fan ran onto the pitch and took a swing at Chelsea midfielder Frank Lampard while he celebrated with teammates. After a bit of a skirmish, the man was carried out of the stadium and straight to the local pokey on charges of encroachment and suspicion of assault. During the mêlée, another man made it on to the field and was immediately detained and arrested.

… maybe the security people slept a little bit. They could never believe the guy could come on to the pitch and chase my players. But it was no problem,” Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho told reporters. “They (security staff) have to be alert in future. Frank Lampard is ok. He’s happy with the victory. Everything else is secondary.

The security “slept a little bit”??? And the security was just a tad late when Monica Seles took a shank in the back. You’re lucky that he didn’t have a knife or your boy would probably have a hole or two in him, coach.


[ITV Football]: Ugly scenes blight Blues win
[Stuff]: Spectator attacks Chelsea player after FA Cup tie

General Sports

Hey Carmelo, this is how you throw a punch

Ho ho ho this!

We don’t usually report on the world of rugby, but this incident had us reminiscing back to the Malice in the Palace when Ron Artest went, well Ron Artest on a fan in the stands. David Stern should keep this in mind should another mentally imbalanced NBAer decide to partake in a similar showdown between player and spectator.

Trevor Brennan is a forward for the Toulouse rugby club who got fed up with being taunted by a fan of the opposing team back in late January and decided to take action into his own hands and go, well Ron Artest on his ass. After having beer poured on him (hmm, Artest didn’t seem to like that either) and having his mother insulted, Brennan hopped into the stands and knocked the Christmas cap right off the head of an Ulster fan who was obviously still full of the holiday spirit.

Brennan had been suspended from the league since the episode occurred and eventually announced his retirement, but that didn’t stop the European Rugby Cup from dishing out some punishment of their own. The ERC has banned Brennan for life and fined him $33,250; in addition to $6,650 he has been ordered to pay to guy he punched.

It was the view of the committee that Mr. Brennan’s behavior was completely unjustified and that he caused serious harm to an innocent spectator and significant damage to the image of rugby union,” the three-man disciplinary panel said. “The committee could not envisage more serious misconduct in relation to spectators and believed that the maximum permissible suspension was appropriate.

A 73 game suspension suddenly doesn’t sound very harsh.