NFL General

We never thought we’d say this, but Oreos are starting to gross us out

The Oreo commercial’s with Peyton and Eli Manning going head-to-head in a lick-off always give us the creeps and make us a little nauseous. But now our worst nightmares have come true and the ridiculous ads are leaping off the television screen and right into reality.

PEYTON AND Eli Manning have won Super Bowls, but how quickly can the quarterbacks lick the icing from a Double Stuf Oreo?

Roxborough’s George Stolzer, 63, a retired firefighter, and his son, Christopher, 36, of Honey Brook, a shipping manager at UMAC, will find out on July 10 as they battle the Mannings in hopes of winning $10,000 in the Oreo Double Stuf Racing League “Lick Race” in New Orleans.

We’re guessing it’s going to look a lot like when we feed our dogs peanut butter, but odder.


[Hugging Harold Reynolds]: Two guys want to lick the Manning Brothers
[]: Mannings put on their game faces for licking contest

Indianapolis Colts

Peyton Manning tries to fill Brett Favre’s shoes both on and off the field

Unless you’re talking about the new Madden cover, Brett Favre is long gone from the NFL…for now. Who knows what will come in the months leading up to the season’s kickoff, but No. 4 has not walked through the Packers’ locker room doors yet, meaning the league needs a new, loveable, ol’ dog to talk about the good old days and how the youngsters make him feel like he’s still just kicking up dirt on the playground. As of now it looks like 32-year-old Peyton Manning is that man.

The veteran QB says the rookies sometimes make him feel old.

“It’s hard for me to realize why some of these guys are nervous. As one of them, I can’t remember who it was, they were saying how they like watching me on ESPN Classic. I don’t consider myself to be an ESPN Classic type but when I was a 22-year-old senior at Tennessee these guys were I guess 11 years old. But I do enjoy being around these young guys cause it still is very much a young man’s game and it does kind of keep you feeling young,” said Manning.

You know what else keeps you feeling young at heart? Creepy, licking contests with Eli.


[]: Veteran QB Manning says rookies can make him feel old

Indianapolis Colts

When Peyton says it’s a pass play, it’s a pass play dammit!

It feels like the NFL season has been over for eons now and we’re beginning to get antsy. We thought the Draft might keep us sustained until they finally kickoff, but that didn’t work. Luckily we’ve come across this video of Peyton Manning throwing a hissy-fit and his offensive lineman putting him in check.

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

One trillion more watches and preseason games will be upon us!

Dallas Cowboys

Life is good when you’re Tony Romo, both on and off the field

If you think that Scott Van Pelt is the only person in America with a giant-sized man crush on Tony Romo then you’re outta your mind! After wowing the world with the longest four yard gain in the history of football and then overcoming a five interception performance to lead the Cowboys to victory, there are so many people on the bandwagon that Dallas is legitimately America’s Team again.

So, does he really deserve all the hype? Well, it’s hard to argue with the numbers. When you compare his first 16 games to the starts of some other notable quarterbacks, Romo looks like he could be on his way to becoming a football god.

Record: 11-4
Stats: 305 of 481 (63.4 pct); 4,149 yards (276.6 ypg); 29 TDs; 18 INTs
Noteworthy: Seven 300-yard games; only Troy Aikman (13) and Danny White (10) have more in club history.

Record: 15-1
Stats: 158 of 277 (57.0); 2,274 yards (142.1); 19 TDs; 9 INTs
Noteworthy: Led Cowboys to Super Bowl title the season he took over.

Record: 2-14
Stats: 239 of 433 (55.2); 2,664 yards (166.5); 12 TDs; 25 INTs
Noteworthy: With nowhere to go but up, Aikman went on to win three Super Bowls in a 4-year span.

Record: 15-1
Stats: 219 of 335 (65.4); 3,133 yards (195.8); 21 TDs; 9 INTs
Noteworthy: First loss was in his 16th career start, vs. Patriots, the team Romo is facing Sunday in his 16th career start. He led Steelers to Super Bowl title his second season in charge.

Record: 13-3
Stats: 313 of 481 (65.1); 3,360 yards (210); 23 TDs; 13 INTs
Noteworthy: Like Romo, got his big chance by replacing Drew Bledsoe. Like Aikman, won three Super Bowls in four years.

Record: 9-7
Stats: 323 of 502 (64.3); 3,390 yards (211.9); 20 TDs; 17 INTs
Noteworthy: Favre’s rise to becoming the owner of most prestigious QB records got going in Green Bay in 1992, and 12-year-old Romo was watching closely in Burlington, Wisc.

Record: 3-13
Stats: 326 of 575 (56.7); 3,739 yards (233.7); 26 TDs; 28 INTs
Noteworthy: At 9-0 last season, and headed to a Super Bowl title, Manning’s first loss was to the Romo-led Cowboys.

Now, we’re not quite ready to crown Romo the next John Elway just yet. We’re not even ready to crown him the next Jim Kelly. Until his Crisco hands get the Boys a postseason victory he’s still just plain ol’ Tony Romo to us. Once he gets four Super Bowl defeats under his belt then maybe we’ll elevate him to Kellyesque status.


[]: How Tony Romo compares to other great QBs through their first 16 games

NFL General

Peyton Manning puts in his two cents on Tiki Barber

Apparently the Tiki Barber/Eli Manning feud has reached a point where the normally reserved Peyton Manning has decided to step up to the plate for his little bro. But Peyton didn’t let his sharp tongue sting only Barber as he decided to take a shot at virtually all former players who decide to join the media upon retirement.

Ex-players truly become ex-players right away, the No. 1 job is to criticize players,” said Peyton Manning, who had his ability to lead publicly questioned several years ago by the former Colts place-kicker Mike Vanderjagt. “I’m pretty defensive of all quarterbacks. Eli is my brother. I’m very loyal to my family. I’d rather you criticize me. I don’t think anybody knows what it’s like to be a quarterback except a current quarterback. Sometimes former quarterbacks forget what’s it’s like. You cannot play quarterback at any level — you’re in a leadership position. To do it for three years in high school, three years as a starter in college, taking your team to the playoffs — you are a leader and you’re a good leader.

Manning added: “It’s supposed to be a code, teammates to teammates. That’s the problem we’re going to have with ex-players going to the media. When I retire, I know what I don’t want to do.

Boy, are we relieved to hear that! We were so afraid that Peyton would waste his time in a studio with Chris Berman or Bob Costas after he hung `em up. Hopefully this means that he’ll be focusing on his acting career once his playing days are over.


[]: Manning Makes Strong Defense of Manning

General Sports

ESPY Spoilers

We know that once the dog days of summer descend upon us there are really only a few events for American sporting fans to look forward to: MLB’s All-Star game, Wimbledon and, of course, the ESPY’s. With two of the three already out of the equation, we’d figured that we might as well completely ruin your final big sports bash until football kicks off by bringing you all the news from last night’s ESPY’s which will air on Sunday night. Now, we know that people spend months and months on preparing Super Bowl style parties for the pinnacle of sports awards shows, so if you don’t want to know who won because it will ruin the big affair come Sunday…too bad.

LaDainian Tomlinson was the man of the night as he took home four trophies, including the male athlete of the year, best NFL player, record-breaking performance and the Like Nothing Else award. LeBron James co-hosted the show and also found time to take home the best NBA player award, Roger Federer won his third straight male tennis player trophy after winning his fifth consecutive Wimbledon, Peyton Manning grabbed the gold for championship performance after his SB win, and Tiger Woods won the best golfer award for the third year in a row.

Indianapolis’ fun wasn’t done yet though as the Colts won the best team award and Tony Dungy won the best coach-manager trophy. Softball superstar Taryne Mowatt of Arizona won the awards for female athlete of the year and female college athlete of the year. Boise State picked up a pair of wins (best game and best play) for their memorable upset against Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl. Best moment went to the New Orleans Saints for when they returned home to the Superdome after Hurricane Katrina and the best finish was handed to the Dodgers for their home-run filled performance against the Padres which was capped off by a Nomar Garciaparra two run long ball.

And finally, North Carolina State’s women’s basketball coach Kay Yow picked up the Jimmy V ESPY for Perseverance and Trevor Ringland and Dave Cullen were awarded the Arthur Ashe Courage award for their efforts to bring peace in Northern Ireland through the game of basketball.

So, there you have it; all the awards in a nice little package for you. Now, the only reason you need to tune in is to see LeBron making a fool of himself with a song and dance to Bobby Brown’s “My Prerogative.” Hopefully, it’s better than his rendition of “Stayin’ Alive.”


[]: Chargers’ Tomlinson wins 4 ESPY awards; Colts take 3

Tennessee Titans

Madden curse to work its black magic on Vince Young

fine fine photoshop work

As if Pacman Jones’ situation isn’t bad enough for the Tennessee Titans, now they gotta deal with the eventual season ending, career altering injury to their franchise QB. Yep, Vince Young is expected to grace the cover of Madden 2008 and undoubtedly become the next NFL superstar to fall victim to the curse of fat boy John Madden. But Vince ain’t afraid of no curse; he’s already been announced as one of Chunky Soup’s “Mama’s Boys” for this season which would have players trembling in the past.

Sure, it’s a honor to be named as a Madden cover worthy player, especially just one year into his career, but after Eddie George, Donovan McNabb, Daunte Culpepper, Shaun Alexander and Ray Lewis all suffered through some type of turmoil after the game was released, Tennessee fans have got to be praying that EA Sports will reconsider and screw someone else like Super Bowl champion Peyton Manning or league MVP LaDanian Tomlinson.

After all, Vince already has the odds stacked against him with Pacman getting the boot, an outta shape running back, no receivers to speak of and a front office that is tens of millions of dollars under the cap but has yet to spend a dime during the off-season. Still, if anyone can break this jinx, you have to think that VY’s the man to do it.


[]: Young to grace cover of Madden `08

Indianapolis Colts

"You are not Peyton Manning"

Some idiot in Illinois bet his friends that his beloved Chicago Bears would win the Super Bowl and if they didn’t he was going to change his name to Peyton Manning. Well, we all know how that went and since the Colts won the big game, Scott Wiese has been in court fighting for his right to humiliate himself.

He claims that the name change represents the passion that he has for da’ Bears and seems to be committed to honoring the bet. But Macon County Circuit Judge Katherine McCarthy saved his ass by ruling that the name change could possibly infringe on the privacy of the real Peyton Manning and that it was just too damn confusing.

Apparently Wiese won’t appeal the ruling but his friends will probably have something to say about their boy skipping out on his promise. We suggest making him wear a Peyton Manning jersey for the next year. Sure, it’s not permanent but it is still pretty embarrassing. Hey that beats having to follow Kenny Chesney on tour for a year.


[]: Judge says man can’t change name to Peyton Manning

Cleveland Cavaliers

Lebron James takes his talents to the stage

As if being an All-Star, franchise carrying baller isn’t already enough for LeBron James, he has added a couple of side projects to keep his schedule full.

After buying an undisclosed stake in Cannondale, which creates a popular line of bicycles, last week, LeBron is now ready to give his skills on the mic a try. No, he’s not dropping a crappy rap album like Ron Artest and Shaq are known to do. Instead James will co-host the 15th annual ESPY Awards which will air on July 15. James will be sharing the stage with comedian Jimmy Kimmel who will be equipped with zingers and one-liners just in case LBJ stumbles over his lines.

Kimmel first met James backstage at a previous ESPY show where Kimmel has twice been a presenter.

We shook hands and I said, ‘Hello,’ and he just kind of looked at me quizzically,” Kimmel said. “He’s very, very tall. I’m not sure everyone knows that about him.

But LeBron is going to have to be pretty darn impressive if he is going to have a better on stage performance than Peyton Manning recently had on Saturday Night Live. And Peyton even had time to film this United Way commercial. Let’s see James top that.


[]: LeBron James to co-host ESPY Awards
[]: LeBron meets Lance

NHL General

Odds and Ends: Time to ask whether fighting belongs in hockey?

Is Colin Campbell insane? He told the Canadian press that “it’s time to ask the question” about whether fighting should be banned in the NHL. The only reason why hockey even registers as a major league sport is because of the fighting. Now for those who love hockey and not just hockey fights, fighting is still an integral part of the game. The enforcers, defending your superstars, having the back of your teammates, hell, even goalie fights are a big part of hockey tradition.

Sure it’s fun to see Sidney Crosby or Ovechkin do their thing but it’s also fun to see two goons square off. The problem with hockey is the cheap shots and the swinging of lumber. The old fashioned dropping of the gloves should never go away. That’s one on one man stuff that we love… in a purely heterosexual way of course.

In other news…

[MSNBC]: Kobe angrily denies contacting Durant for Nike… takes it out on the Grizz.

[Myspace]: Pro Wrestler (Edge) admits steroids use on myspace blog

[AJC]: Police deny Vick had any jewelry in water bottle. What they don’t know is that “jewelry” is the new street slang for weed

[Slam Sports]: Former Sixer Todd MacCulloch is the 208th best pinball player in the world. Falls 207 places behind deaf dumb and blind kid.

[The Big Lead]: Don’t worry USC, Tim Floyd isn’t going to Michigan

[Boton Herald]: ebay tells Manny to take his grill and shove it… but Jenn-Air wants Manny to do a commercial

And finally, don’t forget to watch everyone’s favorite awkward quarterback, Peyton Manning on Saturday Night Live.