New England Patriots

The Madden cover that should have been

If not for John Madden being in love with Brett Favre, this is the madden cover that should have been released this year. And it would have been perfect for the Madden Curse.

Source: Operation Sports


Oh Tiger Woods, you crazy blasphemer you

This is a fantastic commercial by EA Sports for the new Tiger Woods 09. It was made in response to a guy who found a glitch in Tiger Woods 08 that let him play in the water.

By the way, are you allowed to dip your club in the water like that when playing from a lily pad? Or is that like playing out of a bunker?


Odds and Ends: Hair today, gone tomorrow

The Olympics are rapidly approaching and the one question on everyone’s mind is, “Will the Nigerian football team players cut off their sweet locks or what?”

Nigeria’s Olympic football coach Samson Siasia has warned his players that he expects short hair and correct clothing for the Beijing Games, a federation spokesman said on Friday.

Siasia, known as a stickler for discipline, believes that his players are devoting too much time to their elaborate hairstyles, time which he believes could be better used in fine-tuning their performances.

And the coach goes as far as to claim that players with short hair are more aerodynamic and so find it easier to find their rhythm on the pitch.

So the hair makes all the difference, huh? Well, explain these athletes then.

In other news…

[Awful Announcing]: Jeff Brantley does not want to run into Ken Griffey Jr in a dark alley

[]: We still can’t believe we actually beat Mr. X

[ESPN]: Best NFL playoff performances

[]: Baron Davis has a Shemagwhat?

[]: Erin Andrews’ bed. Mmmmmmmm, Erin Andrews’ bed

[]: Homophobic ad No. 1…

[]: And homophobic ad No. 2

[Uncoached]: We heart New York

[]: Optimistic about Kwame?!? Bwah-hahahahahahahaha!!

[]: Another completely pointless record gets broken

[Tirico Suave]: Groundhog stew. Mmmmmmmmm, groundhog stew

[Yahoo! Sports]: Pat Riley is still a sucker for yellow

[Larry Brown Sports]: Would really expect anything less from Randy Moss’ daughter?

[]: The 21 hottest sports movie WAGs

[]: Diamondbacks fans love their dogs

[]: Golden Bear goddess

And finally, friendship moves!

Green Bay Packers

Odds and Ends: Another Brett Favre tribute song hits the airwaves

What do Brett Favre and Jon Bon Jovi have in common? Well, they’re both buddies with Ron Jaworski and their careers just won’t seem to die, but that’s not all. Thanks to the guys over at Ryan Parker Songs, we now know that they also have this crappy song in common. The words are included, so sing along. And don’t pretend you don’t know the rhythm; we saw you at the stadium when the Slipper When Wet Tour rolled through town.

More videos from the “ryanparkersongs’s channel” channel at

I’ve been missing playing ball since I called it to an end,
So I went out for some two hand touch with some neighbors and a friend,
As I passed the ball around, it felt so good, I think I found,
That number 4 could still play ball, so I gave the Packers one more call,
And said I’ve got good news, yeah, I’m coming back,
But they told me I was smoking crack,

They said never, but I’ll play forever,
Never say goodbye, never say goodbye,
I’ll find somewhere that I can play even if it’s not Green Bay,
Say goodbye, never say goodbye,
Now Aaron Rodgers is the guy, but number 4 will never say goodbye,

I’m inspired by what some guys have done like when Jordan played for Washington,
Oh I hope that time’s been good to me and I’m more like Foreman than Ali,
No, I’ve got no secrets unrevealed and I don’t need cash like Holyfield,
I just want to find somewhere to throw even if it’s for Bon Jovi’s Soul,
Cause I’ve still got skills, I’ve still got game,
I’m not ready for the hall of fame,

Never, cause I’ll play forever,
Never say goodbye, never say goodbye,
I’ll find somewhere that I can play even if it’s not Green Bay,
Say goodbye, never say goodbye,
Now Aaron Rodgers is the guy, but number 4 will never say goodbye,
I probably made John Madden cry cause number 4 will never say goodbye …

In other news…

[]: The question on every fantasy football player’s mind

[]: The Material Girls goes to Toronto to see A-Rod play

[]: First Elton Brand and now Chauncey Billups, maybe Philly can be the next Boston

[The Angry T]: Rejected EA Sports NCAA 2009 covers

[Intentional]: Say hello to our new screen saver

[TheFavreologist]: Finally, someone is capable of explaining “Favre’s Role as a Gay Icon” to us

[]: Hit the road, Pack!

[Can’t Stop The Bleeding]: Ron Artest does his best “Both teams played hard” routine

[]: Screw the WWE, here’s some classic moments from the WWF

[]: The best sports logos EVER!

And finally, Kobe is one sneaky son of a gun.

Arizona Diamondbacks

Odds and Ends: More testicle news than you can stuff in a sack

Awful Announcing brought our attention to a peak and our breakfast back into our mouths when they relayed a story from ABC News concerning what lies ahead for Diamondbacks catcher Chris Snyder and his recently fractured testicle. Here are some of the chilling details.

“I don’t think [Synder will] have a difficult time with it,” he [Jack Llewellyn] said. “With catchers it’s a little bit of a different situation, because catchers are usually perceived as the more rugged guys on a team. They’re used to being hit by foul tips.”

Still, a testicular fracture is not something that is easily shaken off. In simple terms, a testicular fracture involves a “crack” in the testicle; the organ retains its shape, but it is damaged. Though different from a testicular rupture, which involves a complete hemorrhage of the testicle, a fracture in this delicate organ can be extraordinarily painful — and may even require surgery, in many cases.

“It is indeed extraordinarily painful,” said Dr. Mark Litwin, professor of urology and public health at the University of California at Los Angeles. Litwin adds that the natural vulnerability of testicles is “one of these anatomical curiosities med students never understand.”

“The placement of ovaries makes sense. … [Testicles] are in the worst place you could put them. They really are in harm’s way.”

Hey, Doc, you don’t need to tell wrestler D.J. St. James about that.

St. James was a freshman wrestler competing at a high school tournament six years ago. During one match, he was performing a single leg takedown on his opponent when he sustained a sudden and surprising injury.

“When he fell down, his foot came up between my legs,” St. James said. “His foot exploded my testicle.”

St. James didn’t realize the extent of his injury at first. He finished the match with a victory. But the seriousness of the situation soon hit.

“After I walked off the mat, I fell to the ground when I felt the pain,” he recalled. “I can’t describe how much it hurt. … It swelled up bigger than my fist.”


In other news…

[Sports Crackle Pop]: We got two words for ya: Drunk referee

[]: High school basketball players strike back

[]: NCAA football is right around the corner…NCAA Football 09, that is

[MMA Chump]: Forrest Griffin and Rampage Jackson get suspended following UFC 86

[Grab Your Balls]: Kevin Durant might be a Thundercat. Snarf, snarf!

[]: Michael Vick’s exact opposite

[Lion in Oil]: What do the sons of Wayne Gretzky, Joe Montana and Will Smith have in common? The gridiron, of course

[The Angry T]: So much money and, yet, such horrible taste in ink

[]: Tony Romo is soooo whipped

[Tirico Suave]: Real life Tony Soprano waves Jeter home

And finally, a day at the beach with a sweet voice-over.

See morefunny videosand funny pictureson CollegeHumor
Video Games

The Chinese just don’t make computer nerds like us Americans

There are lots of things out there that can kill you: car wrecks, disease, mother nature’s fury, lunatic murders, war, famine, old age, and so on. You get the idea. Anyways, the point is that the last thing in the world you’d expect to kill you would be the internet. But if you’re a 30-year old Chinese man with an obsessive compulsion to play video games for days on end then that’s exactly what might kill you.

The 30-year-old man fainted at a cybercafe in the city of Guangzhou on Saturday afternoon after he had been playing games online for three days, the Beijing News reported.

Paramedics tried to revive him but failed and he was declared dead at the cafe, it said. The paper said that he may have died from exhaustion brought on by too many hours on the Internet.

The report did not say what the man, whose name was not given, was playing.

The report said that about 100 other Web surfers “left the cafe in fear after witnessing the man’s death.

We don’t know what the guy was playing, but it would make us feel a lot better if it was World 1-1 on the original Mario because we’re still trying to slide down that damn flagpole. Still, this is all very shocking to the system. While unassuming in it’s the nature, the computer lures you into hypnosis with it’s high speed connections and real time, multi player experiences only to leave you starving and sleep deprived to the point of physical shutdown. It’s all coming true, just like Matthew Broderick said it would; sorta.


[]: Chinese man apparently dies of exhaustion after days of gaming

Chicago Bears

Devin Hester will get a perfect 100 rating in Madden 08

From our friends over at WBRS sports comes this little tidbit for all you Madden heads. Devin Hester will get a perfect 100 rating in the speed category in Madden 08. No one has ever gotten this before. Not DeAngelo Hall, not Michael Bennett, not Champ Bailey, not even Deion.

That’s just about the best thing you could have told me,” Hester said with a huge smile, when informed of his new Speed rating. “It’s an honor — I don’t know what to say, really.

Considering all the time that NFL players spend playing Madden, we’re sure he’s completely sincere. (It certainly beats being Ethan Albright.) Hester is probably hoping though that he doesn’t make the cover of Madden 08 so he can avoid the curse. Our money says that Peyton Manning will be on the new cover of ’08.

By the way, we found this great website of custom Madden covers that you can download and print. What a great way to jinx your most hated team.

[WBRS Sports]: As Fast As Tecmo Bo?

College Basketball

New School Bracketology

Every year sports dorks from around the country can’t wait for the selection show to end so that they can run over to their X-Box and meticulously enter the entire field into their favorite NCAA hoops game and fill out their brackets according to the random crap that the simulations spit out. Kinda sounds like the BCS. But regardless, the game has pull when it comes to some office pools so here are the results from NCAA March Madness 07 and College Hoops 2K7.

In March Madness 07, No. 2 Wisconsin defeated No. 3 seed Pittsburgh, 90-72, on the left side of the bracket to set up a championship game against No. 4 Texas after the Longhorns defeated No. 1 seed Ohio State, 76-73, in a battle of freshman phenoms. In the final game, Kevin Durant’s 27.5 point per game average throughout the tournament was simply too much for the Badgers to overcome as Texas takes the title with an 87-64 victory.

2K7 comes up with a totally different scenario. Their Final Four consist of Maryland, Kansas, North Carolina and Texas A&M. In the semis, No. 4 Maryland upsets the top seeded Jayhawks by three, 64-61, while North Carolina narrowly avoided the third seed Aggies, 77-73. In the end, the Tarheels cut down the nets as Tyler Hansbrough led North Carolina to an 83-80 victory over the Terps.

Wonder how far George Mason made it in March Madness 06?



Video Games

Dec 5 in Sports History: Dad, what’s a video arcade?

In 1983: As a very prehistoric precursor to the John Madden video game franchise, the NFL introduced its first video arcade game, the creatively titled “NFL Football.” Madden it sure as heck wasn’’t, as there were very few features. In fact, the game’s creators were banking that the kids pumping their quarters in didn’’t mind being the Raiders and the Chargers all the time, because that’s all they were getting. After the play was selected, it showed the play using actual footage from a real NFL game between those two teams. Also, there was no dynasty mode or anything cool (like you could be Marcus Allen and bang OJ Simpson’s wife or Dan Fouts and be really fucking annoying on the air). Unfortunately, the game didn’’t do very well (there was a second edition with Redskins-Cowboys) and production was halted in 1984. (

In 1981: Speaking of Marcus Allen, football’s most beloved adulterer won the Heisman Trophy as a tailback at USC, edging out Georgia sophomore Herschel Walker in a close vote. Allen was the fourth USC running back to win the Heisman (hey, OJ won one too…Maybe you own it!) but was the only Trojan to rush for over 2,000 yards in a season. He was also the first player to run for over 200 yards in four straight games. Allen was drafted by the Raiders in 1982, and he went on to have a hall of fame career and won a Super Bowl MVP in 1984.

In 1982: Herschel Walker finally got his due by winning the Heisman Trophy as a junior, easily outdistancing Stanford‘s John Elway (Dan Marino finished 9th, way behind Tony Eason). Many felt that Walker should have won in his freshman year, when he ran for over 1,600 yards, 15 touchdowns and outclassed George Rogers, South Carolina’s Heisman winner that year, in a key Bulldog’s victory. Only a bias against underclassmen kept Walker from possibly winning an unprecedented three straight awards. Had Walker stayed in Athens for his senior year, he probably would still hold all Division I-A rushing records, as he had over 5,000 yards and 50 career touchdowns with a whopping 5.3 yards per carry in only three seasons. He decided it would be a better idea to try and commit career suicide, however, and he went to the USFL’s New Jersey Generals for three years. (

NFL General

All the NFL Power Rankings you need: Madden style

People (ok.. we) have been known to use Madden to simulate games for predictive/gambling purposes. It never really works but it’s kind of fun to do anyway. Well, the folks at Tecmo Blog have taken things waaaaaay too far and ranked all 32 teams according to their Madden 07 ratings for players.

You can read their methodology and comments here but here is the quick list. This list does bring up the question of how good can Madden rankings be if they have the Titans ranked above the Patriots and the Eagles? Also, is it acceptable to play with a team other than your own just because your team sucks in Madden? We say no.

Madden 07 Team Rankings
1. Steelers
2. Seahawks
3. Colts
4. Giants
5. Chiefs
6. Chargers
7. Falcons
8. Panthers
9. Bengals
10. Cardinals
11. Redskins
12. Dolphins
13. Broncos
14. Titans
15. Patriots
16. Eagles
17. Saints
18. Packers
19. Rams
20. Cowboys
21. Raiders
22. Ravens
23. Texans
24. Buccaneers
25. Bears
26. Jaguars
27. Vikings
28. Browns
29. Bills
30. Jets
31. Lions
32. 49ers