Categories
Miami Dolphins

Jay Feely doesn’t care for Ricky Williams or his kind bud


In a time when many athletes remain tight lipped about how they really feel about league troublemakers, the last person you’d ever expect to speak up is a friggin’ kicker. But Miami Dolphins kicker Jay “Touchy” Feely didn’t hold anything back when someone asked him what he thought about the possible return of Ricky Williams to the team.

No, I want a locker room full of guys who aren’t going to quit on us or fold when it’s tough and take the easy way out,” Feely said.

“You quit with your actions just as well as you quit with your decisions,” Feely said. “You know you’re getting tested and you decide to smoke a joint. That’s quitting on your teammates just as much as walking away from the game.”

“I want a guy I could trust,” Feely said. “I’d rather have a marginally talented player who gives me everything he’s got every day at practice and in the games, than someone with better talent who gives their best effort just on some days.

Of course, Feely also made sure to cover his ass just in case the pothead actually makes it back into the Dolphins’ locker room.

While Cameron has said he won’t discuss Williams’ situation until he is officially reinstated, Feely said Williams is never brought up around the locker room.

“Not at all. I’ve never heard a word about him ever since he failed that test,” Feely said. “But if Cam and [GM Randy Mueller] decide to bring him back, I’d embrace him as a teammate.

Good move Jay; after all, no matter how foolish Ricky might be, he’s still Ricky Williams and you’re still a kicker and he’s still a whole lot bigger than you. Stoned or not; he would whoop your butt.

Links:

[Sun-Sentinel.com]: Jay Feely: `I don’t want Ricky Williams on team’

Categories
NFL General

The Juice is loose!


By now, you must have heard about the Juice’s little Las Vegas incident that got him a total of 11 offenses ranging from conspiracy to commit kidnapping to robbery to assault, all by way of a deadly weapon. If O.J. is convicted then he could be facing life behind bars, but for now he’s out on bail.

Simpson had a hearing that lasted for about ten minutes on Wednesday morning and was granted bail by the judge. His bond was set at $125,000.

While we were a little shocked to hear that the loudmouthed decapitator is outta the clink, we were even more shocked to see the further softening of NFL commish Roger Goodell. Letting Bill Belichick off the hook is one thing, but letting O.J. back in the league is completely out of line.

Links:

[AFP]: O.J. Simpson bailed by Las Vegas court on robbery charges

Categories
Boxing

Floyd Mayweather is favored in big showdown. Oh, and he’s got a fight coming up too.


There are several sports related people participating in this season’s Dancing with the Stars, which kicks off on Monday, but only one of them has a 38-0 record against some of the toughest men on the planet: Mr. Floyd Mayweather. While boxing fans know all about the size and strength of Mayweather’s mouth, on Monday he gave his newly acquired ABC fan base a glimpse of how he rolls when he delivered a soft verbal right cross to WBC welterweight title contender Ricky Hatton.

The local boxer has talked some trash, reportedly labeling his opponent “Vicky Fatten.”

Mayweather said in a news conference Monday at Los Angeles: “Ricky Hatton’s cool for what he does, but fighting Floyd Mayweather is a totally different level. I’m at the pinnacle of my career — this is the creme-de-la-creme.”

Hatton countered by making fun of Mayweather: “He’s currently doing the show ‘Dancing with the Stars’ and that’s how he’s boxing. Floyd always backs up. That’s the woman part.

Not bad guys, but we’re going to have to ask you to step up your game before you December 8th showdown. Calling each other little girls just ain’t gonna cut it. In fact, until you guys get a little more creative, we’re going to be focusing our attention on the big show and try to make some sweet jack with “Mr. Las Vegas” at 8-to-1. Seriously, the odds are out.

ODDS TO WIN DANCING WITH THE STARS
According to sportsbook.com

Melanie Brown 4-1
Floyd Mayweather 5-1
Sabrina Bryan 11-2
Josie Maran 6-1
Cameron Mathison 7-1
Helio Castroneves 15-2
Jennie Garth 8-1
Wayne Newton 8-1
Albert Reed 10-1
Jane Seymour 12-1
Marie Osmond 12-1
Mark Cuban 15-1

Geez, we never would have guessed that Cubes would be the biggest underdog.

Links:

[Freep.com]: Mocked by opponent for being `a woman,’ boxer Floyd Mayweather a favorite to win `Dancing with the Stars’

Categories
General Sports

When did the 40-year-old virgin become a news anchor?

This has absolutely nothing to do with sports, but there was no way we could hoard a clip of some local television baboon having foreplay with a digitized woman to ourselves.

All right `farting sports guy‘; you are no longer the most humiliated man in newsroom. We’re guessing if that clip went on for just a few more seconds he’d bust out with “Tune in Tokyo. Tune in Tokyo.”

Links:

[Awful Announcing]: During A Breast Milk Story A Local News Broadcaster……Umm, Just Watch The Video

Categories
MLB General

The Full Count: Mets and Red Sox are trying to give it away


1. The Shrinking Lead, Part 1: On September 10, the Phillies were six games back in the division and just focused on the wild card. Now, they have closed the gap to only 1.5 games thanks to a six game winning streak along with the Mets’ five game losing streak. Now the Phillies have a realistic shot of winning the division. They beat the Cardinals in 14 innings on Tuesday. In a game that saw 19 combined pitchers but only 19 combined hits, the Phillies won 7-4. They scored three 14th-inning runs off Mike Maroth, who has an 11.25 ERA since joining the Cardinals. The Mets lost 9-8 to Washington, their second straight loss against the pitiful Nationals. Because their schedule for the rest of the year includes only Washington and Florida, the Mets still are the likely division champs. However, it would no longer be surprising if the Phillies overtook New York and won the division.

2. The Shrinking Lead, Part 2: Everyone thought the Red Sox had the division wrapped up months ago. But the Yankees, who were down 5.5 games only four days ago, have cut that gap to 2.5. They have won three in a row while the Red Sox have dropped their last three. The Yankees dominated the Orioles 12-0 on Tuesday, with Mike Mussina going for seven shutout innings. Derek Jeter and Robinson Cano had three hits each in the rout, while Doug Mientkiewicz drove in four runs. The Red Sox, meanwhile, were topped for the second straight day by the Blue Jays, this time by a score of 4-3. AJ Burnett pitched brilliantly, going 8.2 innings with three runs and 11 strikeouts. Eric Gagne blew a save in eighth inning, ruining Jon Lester’s solid start. The Yankees have the schedule advantage compared with the Red Sox, as they face Tampa and Baltimore their last two series as opposed to Minnesota and Oakland. If New York wins the division, it will be either one of the greatest comebacks or collapses in league history, depending on your perspective. It really wouldn’t make a difference when it comes to playoff seeding, though, as the Red Sox would still likely win the wild card.

3. The Nonexistent Lead: Once again, the Brewers and Cubs find themselves tied for the NL Central lead. Milwaukee has won four straight to regain their share of the lead. The two teams together are the only division leader in baseball with less than 83 wins, with only 78 and 79, respectively. That still doesn’t make their race any less heated, as it has been back and forth for the last few weeks. The Brewers flattened the Astros 9-1, though ace Ben Sheets is out for an uncertain amount of time with a leg injury. the powerful Brewers had four homeruns. The Cubs lost 5-2, as ace Carlos Zambrano had his sixth loss in his last eight starts. Chicago does have the edge in the race as they only play terrible teams the remainder of the season, while the Brewers play Atlanta and San Diego.

Player of the Day: John Lackey, Angels: 8 innings, 1 run, 10 K’s in a 2-1 win over Tampa. Lackey is yet another AL Cy Young candidate, with a 17-9 record and 3.13 ERA.

Categories
MLB General

The Full Count: Padres making headway in NL West


1. Super San Diego: The Padres have won four games in a row, sending them to only one game back of the Diamondbacks for the NL West lead. San Diego started out a four game series with the lowly Pirates by winning 3-0, while the Diamondbacks lost 5-8 to the Giants. Rookie pitcher Jack Cassel was key for the Padres, with no runs or walks allowed in six innings. San Diego’s bullpen was good as usual with three near-perfect innings. The D-backs, with ace Brandon Webb pitching, still lost to San Francisco. Reliever Tony Pena, who has been great this season, was shelled for 5 runs and 2 homers in less than an inning. Arizona needs to watch out if they want to hold on to their division lead, which is looking less secure than it has been for a month.

2. It’s Getting Wilder: The NL Wild Card race, still led by the aforementioned Padres, is heating up. The Phillies and Dodgers are both within three games of the lead. The Phillies, who are 1.5 back and have won 5 straight, had a crazy 13-11 win over the Cardinals on Monday. They got out to an 11-0 lead, as Ryan Howard hit two homers to give him 40 on the season in addition to 5 RBIs. Jimmie Rollins and Aaron Rowand also homered early on. Then the Cards came back thanks to three RBIs each by Albert Pujols and Ryan Ludwick. The Phils held on for the win though, sending the Cardinals to their 9th loss in 10 games. Philly is now only 2.5 games behind the Mets for the division lead, though the wild card seems more likely right now. The Dodgers, who are third in the wild card standings, did not play on Monday.

3. Almost Locked Up: The Angels are the team closest to clinching their division in all of baseball. Their magic number is 5, lowest in the league. The Angels just keep on winning, while Seattle’s collapse in late-August made the race uncompetitive. The Angels lead the Mariners by 8.5 games after another win. They beat the Devil Rays 10-7 despite another bad start by Kelvim Escobar. Escobar allowed five or more runs for the fourth time in his last six starts. This streak has increased his ERA from 2.68 to 3.46, though his record is oddly 2-1 in these starts. The Angels are known more for their pitching, but it has been their offense that has carried them recently. They have scored double digit runs 11 times since the All Star break. Their offense has scored the fifth-most runs in the majors despite almost no power hitters. They only rank 27th in homers this year, though their .287 team batting average, which is second only to the Yankees, is a much better indicator of how good this offense really is.

Player of the Day: Frank Thomas, Blue Jays: 3-4, 3 HRs (25), 5 RBIs in a 6-1 win over the Red Sox.

Categories
College Football

Chris Crocker wannabe defends Tommy Tuberville

As scary as it is to admit, Chris Crocker has become a household name in America thanks to the countless Hollywood gossip shows and blogs that elevated him her it to semi-star status with their constant play of a whiny, crying jig following blubbery Britney’s performance at the VMAs. Well, apparently the Crocker craze has spawned imitators. And some of those imitators are more passionate about football than Crocker is about Brit. Scary, huh?

“You gotta problem with him, you come see me; you BASTARDS!!!”

Categories
NBA General

Joey Crawford’s back and he’s ready to piss more people off


Five months ago, the biggest problem facing the NBA was a no-nonsense, technical foul-yielding referee that mysteriously threw Tim Duncan out in the final minutes of a game against the Dallas Mavericks and then, according to Duncan, challenged him to a fight. Well, after being suspended indefinitely since April, Joey Crawford has been reinstated into the league.

Based on my meeting with Joey Crawford, his commitment to an ongoing counseling program, and a favorable professional evaluation that was performed at my direction, I am satisfied that Joey understands the standards of game management and professionalism the NBA expects from him and that he will be able to conduct himself in accordance with those standards,” said NBA commissioner David Stern.

It’s amazing how little things like referees picking fights with superstars can all be forgiven when there’s some jerk-off zebra messing with the mob and fixing games.

Links:

[WLWT.com]: NBA Reinstates Official Joey Crawford

Categories
MLB General

Mark Ecko is posing as America’s Player of the MLB


Turns out that the fool who spent $752,467 on Barry Bonds’ home run ball No. 756 is no fool at all; in fact, the winner bidder was clothing mogul Mark Ecko. And Ecko is even being nice enough to share his purchase with all of us. He’s letting voters visit a special website and determine the fate of big-headed Barry’s infamous, steroid tainted homer.

His three options: To send the ball to the Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, N.Y.; To brand it with an asterisk — a reference to the belief of some Bonds detractors that the Giants slugger’s record is tainted by his alleged use of performance enhancing substances — and send it to Cooperstown permanently marked; or send it to space on a moon-shot greater than the one which sent the ball into history.

Ecko said he plans to announce the final tally after voting ends at 11:59 p.m. on Sept. 25.

“I have my own opinion, I’ve been part of this debate just like everyone else,” Ecko wrote on his Web site “But I wanted to make it just a little more real. I bought this baseball to democratize the debate over what to do with it. The idea that some of the best athletes in the country are forced to decide between being competitive and staying natural is troubling.

Is there really any doubt what the American public is gonna do here? We’ve got six little words for ya: “Bang, zoom, straight to the moon”

Links:

[CBS5.com]: You Can You’re your Vote On Fate Of Bonds Ball #756

Categories
Video Games

The Chinese just don’t make computer nerds like us Americans


There are lots of things out there that can kill you: car wrecks, disease, mother nature’s fury, lunatic murders, war, famine, old age, and so on. You get the idea. Anyways, the point is that the last thing in the world you’d expect to kill you would be the internet. But if you’re a 30-year old Chinese man with an obsessive compulsion to play video games for days on end then that’s exactly what might kill you.

The 30-year-old man fainted at a cybercafe in the city of Guangzhou on Saturday afternoon after he had been playing games online for three days, the Beijing News reported.

Paramedics tried to revive him but failed and he was declared dead at the cafe, it said. The paper said that he may have died from exhaustion brought on by too many hours on the Internet.

The report did not say what the man, whose name was not given, was playing.

The report said that about 100 other Web surfers “left the cafe in fear after witnessing the man’s death.

We don’t know what the guy was playing, but it would make us feel a lot better if it was World 1-1 on the original Mario because we’re still trying to slide down that damn flagpole. Still, this is all very shocking to the system. While unassuming in it’s the nature, the computer lures you into hypnosis with it’s high speed connections and real time, multi player experiences only to leave you starving and sleep deprived to the point of physical shutdown. It’s all coming true, just like Matthew Broderick said it would; sorta.

Links:

[KARE11.com]: Chinese man apparently dies of exhaustion after days of gaming