General Sports

Step aside Justin Timberlake, the dance world has a new J.T.

The latest cast of Dancing With the Stars was announced on Monday and, as usual, there were some sports figures gracing the list; most notable was Miami Dolphins defensive end Jason Taylor. While we’d love to crack on Ja-Tay for learning the samba and salsa, there’s not much you can say to humiliate a guy who just spent a season sweating for one of the most pathetic teams in NFL history. And considering that his male competition consists of dorks like Penn Jillette, Steve Guttenberg and Adam Carolla, we figure Taylor stands a decent chance. Anyways, if Emmitt can do it, anybody has a realistic shot.

Oh, but the fun doesn’t end there. Some female sports stars also made the cut.

Kristi Yamaguchi and Monica Seles will be cutting rugs as well. Let’s just hope that DWS provides tighter security than those knuckleheads in Hamburg.


[]: `Dancing with the Stars’ Announces Season 6 Contestants

General Sports

Helio: you dirty dog, you!

And his fiancee left him because
he got famous, right.

Current Dancing With the Stars champion and race car driver extraordinaire Helio Castroneves is splitting up with his long-time girlfriend/fiancée. According to TMZ, the break up is due to Castroneves’ new found celebrity. Apparently his ex old lady, Aliette Vazquez, couldn’t take Helio’s inflated ego anymore and decided to bolt, but we’ve got our suspicions.

We’re not huge fans of this dancing sensation that is sweeping the nation, but we’ve seen enough to know that the babes on the show are smokin’ hot. Needless to say, Helio’s `partner’, Julianne Hough is no exception. The two shared a kiss on a recent episode, but that was just part of the dance, right?

Actually, the kiss is probably the last thing the newly single Ms. Vazquez was worried about. After all, her man was spending countless hours with an incredibly sexy woman, dancing chest to chest, hip to hip and even lip to lip. Sexual chemistry is virtually unavoidable at that point. We don’t know a woman alive who would approve of her husband doing something like that in any other context.

Regardless, the relationship is over and the DWTS curse lives on. Oh, you haven’t heard about the curse? Just look at what it did to Emmitt Smith; from dancing machine to barely being able to put together a sentence.


[TMZ]: Ex-Fiancée to Helio: Lights, Camera, Split!
[ABC News]: Helio Splits From Fiancee After `DWS’ Win

General Sports

Forget Floyd Mayweather, we want more Karina Smirnoff

Floyd Mayweather got kicked off the Dancing With the Stars island last night. Yea, we can’t believe it either. We just lost $50 bucks after we took him at 5-1.

We’re sure that Floyd isn’t sweating getting kicked off a lame, yet wildly popular, dancing show, but he’s got to be ticked off that he went home before a buffoonish, yet wildly rich, Mark Cuban.


Floyd Mayweather is favored in big showdown. Oh, and he’s got a fight coming up too.

There are several sports related people participating in this season’s Dancing with the Stars, which kicks off on Monday, but only one of them has a 38-0 record against some of the toughest men on the planet: Mr. Floyd Mayweather. While boxing fans know all about the size and strength of Mayweather’s mouth, on Monday he gave his newly acquired ABC fan base a glimpse of how he rolls when he delivered a soft verbal right cross to WBC welterweight title contender Ricky Hatton.

The local boxer has talked some trash, reportedly labeling his opponent “Vicky Fatten.”

Mayweather said in a news conference Monday at Los Angeles: “Ricky Hatton’s cool for what he does, but fighting Floyd Mayweather is a totally different level. I’m at the pinnacle of my career — this is the creme-de-la-creme.”

Hatton countered by making fun of Mayweather: “He’s currently doing the show ‘Dancing with the Stars’ and that’s how he’s boxing. Floyd always backs up. That’s the woman part.

Not bad guys, but we’re going to have to ask you to step up your game before you December 8th showdown. Calling each other little girls just ain’t gonna cut it. In fact, until you guys get a little more creative, we’re going to be focusing our attention on the big show and try to make some sweet jack with “Mr. Las Vegas” at 8-to-1. Seriously, the odds are out.

According to

Melanie Brown 4-1
Floyd Mayweather 5-1
Sabrina Bryan 11-2
Josie Maran 6-1
Cameron Mathison 7-1
Helio Castroneves 15-2
Jennie Garth 8-1
Wayne Newton 8-1
Albert Reed 10-1
Jane Seymour 12-1
Marie Osmond 12-1
Mark Cuban 15-1

Geez, we never would have guessed that Cubes would be the biggest underdog.


[]: Mocked by opponent for being `a woman,’ boxer Floyd Mayweather a favorite to win `Dancing with the Stars’

General Sports

Beauty and the beast: Gisele joins Mark Cuban on Dancing with the Stars

On Monday, we told you about how Mark Cuban’s appearance on Dancing with the Stars was going to be a total disaster, but a disaster that we were going to be glued to the tube for. Well, now it looks like the show just got a whole lot sexier…and sportier.

Of course, we gotta deal with the sexy first. Tom Brady’s super boo Gisele Bundchen is also being mentioned as a possible contestant though ABC has yet to reveal the actual list. We love the choice if this is true; after all, there is no such thing as too much Bundchen. And with that dumbass Cubes trying to cut a rug every week, we’re going to need some eye candy to help us overcome.

While nothing can top the excitement of having Gisele come to prime time TV, there are a few more sporting icons that will soon be donning glitter and sequence as they cha-cha-cha. Indy champ Helio Castroneves, boxing great Floyd Merriweather Jr., and Mr. Mean and Green himself, Lou Ferrigno, will also be on the show.

Hopefully one season they change the scheduling of this show so that Chad Johnson can get into the mix now that the NFL is cracking down on the end zone celebrations. Until then we’ll be stuck with other dancers like these unconfirmed celebrities: Aaron Carter, Wayne Newton, Jane Seymour, Tori Spelling, Jennie Garth, Nia Peeples and Sabrina Bryan. See you on September 24 when Cuban gets schooled by a wax sculpture…oh, wait, that’s Wayne Newton.


[]: Gisele really does have the legs of a dancer

Dallas Mavericks

Mark Cuban is slapping on his dancin’ shoes

Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban has done some crazy things in his day. In fact, it’s getting kinda difficult to determine exactly what has been the low-light (if there is such a thing for a billionaire) of his career so far. There were all those times he ran onto the court during games, and there was that time he started dispensing Blizzards at Dairy Queen. But, to us, the image that is seared into our brains is Cuban crying like baby when he presented Dirk Nowitzki with the MVP trophy. Luckily, Cubes is reclaiming his manhood and dignity with his latest project.

Just like so many twinkle toes before him, Cuban is set to be a contestant on the wildly popular Dancing With the Stars! We’d really, really love to bust Cuban’s balls over this move, but actually we can’t complain because until now we’ve never cared to watch the stupid show. Anyways, when the show kicks off its latest season on September 24, then we’ll have all the ammo we need to completely annihilate him. Call us crazy, but we’re guessing that Cuban makes Kenny Mayne look like Baryshnikov.


[]: Cuban joins next cast of Dancing With The Stars