Categories
General Sports

Kyle Petty gets visor-flippin’ mad at Denny Hamlin

We’ve been known to give an unfriendly gesture or two to our fellow motorists after being cut off or tailgated. So, we can only imagine how prickly we’d be if you ratcheted up the MPH to around 200. In fact, we’d probably act a lot like Kyle Petty did after Denny Hamlin smacked him from behind during Sunday’s race at Dover International Speedway.

While the two were always being restrained and we never got to see any real brawling, we did get a verbal back-n-forth between the two. Petty thinks Hamlin is too aggressive and Hamlin thinks Petty is a meanie. You know, the usual stuff.

It’s a shame that a guy with that much talent has to drive like that,” Petty said. “We’ve seen it a lot. We’ve seen it all year long. Even his teammate, Tony Stewart, talked about it. I think it pretty much speaks for itself.

And your counter Mr. Hamlin?

Don’t smack me on the helmet,” Hamlin said. “You smack me on the helmet and I’m going to punch you in the face, bottom line. So I’d like for him to call me some time this week.

“You don’t come to my car. You don’t come to my pit. You meet me somewhere else and we’ll settle it. I have the utmost respect for Kyle, but don’t lay your hands on my head.”

Petty also accused Hamlin of lacking focus after winning the Busch Series race on Saturday. Hamlin shot down that accusation, saying he has too much to worry about in his pursuit of a Nextel Cup title.

“The biggest thing is that I know Kyle gets run over a lot and a lot of the reason is that he’s so far off the pace,” Hamlin said. “We’re in a clutter of leaders and he’s racing his own little battle and some days it’s your day and some days it’s not. Get out of the way.

Yeah, Kyle; “it’s the fastest who get paid and it’s the fastest who get laid.” Shake and bake!

Links:

[WCNC.com]: It’s On! Angry Petty lays the smack down in garage on Hamlin

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All Other Sports

We never figured Dennis Rodman was a Bentley sorta guy, but this is ridiculous


We know that Dennis Rodman is a pretty strange cat and all, but, seriously, who the hell drives around in a tank with naked girls and big-haired trolls painted on it?!?! This is the most appalling vehicle ever released on U.S. soil. He should be ashamed of himself for even stepping foot inside that thing. But we gotta admit, having his image painted on the rear window is actually kinda cool.

Oh, and according to TMZ he parked in a handicap spot. That’s totally negates the self promoting cartoon’s coolness.

While at Hennessey’s Tavern in Dana Point, Calif. on Sunday, it looked like the 46-year-old former NBA star parked his graffitied, gas-guzzling urban assault vehicle in a handicap accessible spot. Well, he has always been a little special!

Rodman’s rep tells TMZ, “Dennis would never do something like that, and he was driven around all weekend . His driver might have done it and left the car there for a short time. Dennis would never do something like that.

Of course he wouldn’t. He’ll kick you in the balls for doing your job, but he would never park in a handicap spot. That’s just not nice.

Links:

[TMZ]: Rodman’s Hummer Handicapped

Categories
Soccer

Don’t worry WNBA, you’re not the only ones who get asked that question


We never have been big fans of soccer, considering how we as Americans are totally oblivious to fact that sport even exists except when our morning SportsCenter is continually canceled for some boring women’s `futbol’ match between Zimbabwe and Northern Hungary. So, seeing that we can’t stand the game, we really think their refs have a crappy job. Except for this guy, he’s having way too much fun out on the pitch.

But we never realized just how lame their lives were until we heard that the refs at a recent women’s soccer match were reduced to performing nut checks to verify genders of the players.

Banyana Banyana coach Augustine Makalakalane has described as mischievous claims allegedly made by a top Ghanaian official that SA used a male player in their Olympic qualifier at the Caledonian Stadium last month.

“I don’t know what the official is up to, but what he is quoted as saying can be best described as utter rubbish,” fumed Makalakalane. “We’ve never cheated and maybe he should consult with his captain in future before he makes such irresponsible comments.

“Fact of the matter is that they raised a suspicion against our striker, Alice Noko Matlou from Limpopo and the officiating referee made an inspection in our dressing room in the present of the Ghana captain. After everyone concerned was satisfied that our player was a girl, she was allowed to feature in the game. The referee would not have allowed her to be part of the game if Alice or anyone else was indeed male.

“If it is indeed correct that the Ghanaian official has said this, then I’m personally disappointed with his conduct. But if it’s an attempt to play mind games against us ahead of the return game in Ghana in December, then let me inform them that we are not only bringing Alice, but the whole Banyana Banyana. They can also expect another player with male features in our team for that contest, and that will still not be cheating,” he said.

Sure, looking down a soccer chick’s pants might sound cool, but you gotta realize that if you have to look down her pants to determine if it’s a dude or a lady then she’s probably not the Jennie Finch or Anna Kournikova kinda athlete. But this practice could be useful here in America; after all, if our refs would perform inspections like this then Christian Laettner would have never been allowed to taint the Dream Team.

Links:

[The Offside]: Genitalia Inspection now part of Referees’ job description
[SuperSoccer.co.za]: Banyana dispute gender cheating claims
[The Sun]: Spot the ball please, ref

Categories
Denver Nuggets

Over five years later and we’re still not talkin’ bout the game

In our opinion, it was one of the single greatest moments in the history of sports. It’s a clip that gets played with regularity around here and it takes us back to a time that will never be recreated again. So, what are we talking about? You got it, we’re talkin’ bout practice.

You might be wondering why we’re bringing this up right now; well, it turns out that AI wishes he had never said it. What you talkin’ bout Allen?!

It was just being young and definitely immature. I wish it wouldn’t have ever happened,” he says during an appearance on Fox SportNet’s “Best Damn Sports Show Period.”

The interview, which took place Wednesday, will air tonight.

“But you learn from experiences like that . . . I think it sent the wrong message, especially to kids. You can’t be a scoring champion and an MVP and an All-Star and all of that without practice . . . I didn’t want kids to get the message that you don’t need to practice because when you’re not practicing, someone else is out there practicing, getting better.

C’mon, man, don’t be so hard on yourself. That’s like saying that MLK should have never had a dream or that JFK shouldn’t have requested that we ask what we can do for our country. Maybe we should just forget all about how the Beastie Boys told us to fight for our right to party too.

Embrace your history AI. No matter what you say, you will always be that loudmouth, coach-hating, scoring machine to us. And we will always be talkin’ bout practice.

Links:

[Philly.com]: Iverson regrets bad talkin’ bout practice, bad talkin’ bout practice

Categories
All Other Sports

OJ Simpson used his one phone call to check his voicemail

Last week we brought you a voice recording that surfaced of OJ Simpson as he went all Mafioso on some sports memorabilia guys. Well, there’s been another incredible find and it just reaffirms the fact that it really sucks to be the Juice.

Sorry, OJ, but if Johnny Cochran’s in heaven or hell then you’re going to jail.

Links:

[Our Book of Scrap]: The Juice Checks His Messages From The Slam

Categories
MLB General

The Full Count: The real magic number is 1.5


1. One and a Half Games: Half of the MLB division leaders have a slim 1.5 games lead right now. The Cubs, Mets, and Red Sox are all holding on by this narrow margin. The Yankees and Red Sox didn’t play Thursday, but some of the other teams did. The Brewers lost a half-game to the Cubs as they fell 3-1 to Atlanta. Braves starter Jeff Bennett won in his first major league appearance since 2004. The Braves are virtually out of the playoff race, though with five straight wins they are ending their season on a good note. The NL East is between the Mets and Phillies. The Mets lost again, in a 10-inning contest with the Marlins. They had a three-run lead going into the bottom of the ninth, but Jorge Sosa blew the save. The Marlins piled up 21 hits, and 8 players in their lineup had at least two hits. The Phillies pulled out another victory, this one coming 7-6 over the Nationals. Ryan Howard and Jayson Werth both homered for Philadelphia, who is 10-3 since September 8. These division races, which all seemed over at one point this year, are providing for an exciting end to the season.

2. Watch Out in `08: The Rockies, an underappreciated surprise story this season, will be a dark horse contender next year if they can get some pitching. They are 81-72 and in third place after sweeping the Dodgers in a four game series, knocking LA out of the playoff picture. Their offense has been second in the NL only to the Phillies, with nearly 800 runs. Matt Holliday is showing he can be a franchise player with a .339 average, 36 homers, and 131 RBIs. He has been unstoppable in the month of September, with 12 homers and 26 RBIs. 11 of those homers have come in the last 12 games, with the Rockies winning 8 of them. Shortstop Troy Tulowitzki would be an easy choice for Rookie of the Year if Ryan Braun wasn’t playing so well. Tulowitzki has 22 homers and 90 RBIs, and has hit around .290. That dynamic duo along with Brad Hawpe (101 RBIs), Garrett Atkins (23-103), and Todd Helton provide for an incredibly deep offense that will be a force for years to come.

3. The New Best Team: It’s official: the Red Sox no longer have the league’s best record. That honor now goes to the Angels, who have quietly been crushing every team in their path this month. The 91-62 Angels have gone 17-8 since August 26, and will become the first team to clinch their division with one more win. They beat the second-place Mariners 9-5 on Thursday as superstar Vlad Guerrero hit his 26th homerun of the season. Guerrero also has a .326 average and 122 RBIs, good enough to place him third in the AL MVP voting behind A-Rod and Magglio Ordonez. The Angels, who are rolling into the postseason with momentum, will be a force to be reckoned with in the playoffs.

Player of the Day: JR Towles, Astros: 4-4, 3 runs, HR (1st career), 8 RBI in an 18-1 win over the Cardinals. Playing in only his sixth career game, Towles set a Houston record for single-game RBIs.

Categories
Utah Jazz

Stephon Marbury isn’t the only player that wants to ball overseas


We’ve known for some time now that Andrei Kirilenko has been unhappy in Utah. We’ve even heard about how his poor, Kobe-like mentality has him demanding a trade. So, we knew that things were bad, but we just didn’t really believe all the hype, until AK-47 said that he’d be willing to skip out on his contract’s remaining $63 million. That’s when realized that he really friggin’ hates that team.

According to a translation by The Salt Lake Tribune, Kirilenko said in an interview with the Russian newspaper Sport Express that he is prepared to go without the money remaining on his NBA contract to get away from the Jazz.

According to the Tribune, Kirilenko is quoted in the Russian newspaper as saying: “I just want to explain to everybody what I think and feel and that I could sacrifice my career with the NBA. The only thing I’m not prepared for is if I’m told, ‘Andrei, we want you to stay anyway.’ I’m sure then the next season would be a repetition of the previous one, and what will the fans say then? How could you possibly rely on a player who wants to leave?”

Kirilenko, who is under contract through the 2010-11 season, told Sport Express he thinks the chances of his contract being voided are small. But he remains steadfast in his desire to leave Utah, even if it means playing on a worse team, NBA or otherwise.

“I have never been unfair and I don’t want to enjoy something that I don’t deserve,” Kirilenko told Sport Express. “Big money is obviously good, but I am prepared to make less. The size of my salary doesn’t mean that much for me. The main thing is to play with a spark.

Kirilenko went on to say that he’d like to play somewhere in Russia, but at this point it sounds like he’d be willing to play in Guatemala if it meant he didn’t have to be around Jerry Sloan anymore. A fine or suspension could be around the corner if Kirilenko fails to show up for camp on October 1.

I would like to be where I am needed and right now I feel that my country needs me,” Kirilenko told Sport Express. “But I cannot exclude some European clubs. Trust me, I really am prepared to leave NBA. It certainly does not mean that I’m dying to go to Europe. I’m just ready.”

“Last year, we had a conversation with him,” Kirilenko told Sport Express “and Sloan said, ‘Andrei, if you don’t like something about the way I conduct training you could always break the contract with the Jazz.’ So that’s exactly what I want to do now!

We love the added emphasis Andrei put on the last sentence. It almost as if he’s convinced that he’s talking to Sloan and not some Russian reporter. Settle down a bit, Andrei, there’s no need to yell. Maybe now would be a good time to break out your `free tail’ pass and release some of that frustration that’s been mounting.

Links:

[KSL.com]: Kirilenko `ready’ to leave NBA, $63M contract

Categories
Boston Celtics

Kevin Garnett might be skinny, but he’s strong as an ox

Kevin Garnett spent 12 seasons with the Timberwolves before the Celtics came along and plucked him from the land of futility. Now that he’s in a much better place, KG is able to take a deep breath and just relax knowing that he’s not alone any more. You’d never expect his wiry frame to support the dead weight of a franchise for that long, but he did.

The Kid might not have a ring, but you’d never catch Kobe Bryant carrying the hopes of Hollywood to a losing record every year with a smile on his face.

Categories
MLB General

The Full Count: Fighting it out atop the AL


1. Becoming the Best: The Red Sox’s recent struggles mean two things. First, the Yankees are closing in on them (more on that later). Also, two other teams have caught up to them for the league’s best record. The Indians and Angels, both at 90-62, have the same number of wins as Boston with one less loss. They both have huge leads in their respective divisions and are on three game winning streaks. The Indians just swept the Tigers to virtually lock up their division. The Tigers, who could have closed the gap in the division with a sweep themselves, instead find themselves 7.5 games back. Cleveland’s 4-2 victory on Wednesday included CC Sabathia’s 18th win of the season. The Angels completed a sweep of the Devil Rays, who on Thursday lost their 90th game for the 10th straight season, an MLB record. The Angels, who improved to 52-25 at home this season, also have a commanding lead in their division. They are up by 8.5 games on the Mariners despite Seattle’s three-game winning streak. Both of these teams, though they get less attention than the Yankees or Red Sox, have a solid shot at winning the World Series.

2. The Yankees Draw Closer: This AL East division race, one-sided for most of this season, is finally getting interesting. The Yankees, with four straight wins, have climbed to 1.5 games back of the once-untouchable Red Sox. They beat the Orioles 2-1 thanks to Andy Pettitte’s strong pitching, completing a sweep of lowly Baltimore. The Red Sox, meanwhile, were swept by the Blue Jays, giving them their fifth loss of their last six games. The Yankees, who were 14.5 games back at one point this season, could make the largest divisional comeback since 1969 if they win it. Even if they don’t, they are guaranteed the wild card anyway.

3. Another Day, Another Win: The Padres are the hottest team in baseball right now, with six straight wins. They are still 1 game back of the Diamondbacks for the division lead. They beat the Pirates 5-3 on Thursday thanks to a walk-off three run homerun by Scott Hariston. If they win on Thursday it will be their second straight sweep. The D-backs are still holding on, as won a series against the Giants; however, the Padres are playing better right now. This is yet another divisional race that is going down to the wire.

Player of the Day: Matt Holliday, Rockies: 2-3, 2 HRs (35), 2 RBIs in a 6-5 win over the Dodgers. Holliday would be the easy choice for MVP if he played on a first place team. He is leading the league in batting average (.340) and RBIs (128), and has 11 homeruns in the month of September.

Categories
All Other Sports

Be careful `drunk bowler’! You’ll crush someone’s head with that thing

When we decide to bring you bowling clips, there are really only three types that can even make the cut. We can bring you some loser impressing himself with a little trickeration:

Or we could bring you some in-competition perfection:

Or, we could just show a guy who is way too sloshed to be renting lice infested shoes:

We never thought we’d say this, but round up the fellas and a suitcase of Bud. We’re going bowling!