Categories
College Football

It takes freshmen a while to pick up on things, like never offer money for sex


The Buckeyes suspended freshman reserve quarterback Antonio Henton from the team after he got arrested attempting to solicit a prostitute. Henton was arrested on Monday around 8:30 p.m. in Columbus, Ohio, after pulling his car up alongside a lady of the night and offering her 20 bucks for sex. And of course, she was a cop.

We were working an operation that involved undercover female officers that portrayed the role of prostitutes,” the sergeant said.

The sergeant said officers involved in the operation identified Henton immediately after his arrest.

“One of the officers that made the stop on him from the cruiser that follows Ohio State football knew immediately who he was,” the sergeant said. “He seemed very remorseful.

Remorseful is probably the understatement of the year; after all, he was on his way to hopefully becoming the starting quarterback at THE Ohio State University. He’d never have to go roaming the streets for cheap dates ever again. Heck, we’re pretty sure that even Craig Krenzel was able to get some quality tail on status alone.

Henton was released around 3:00 in the afternoon after posting a $2,500 bond. But, enough about Henton’s great mistake already. We don’t want to be too critical of the `kid’ and rile up coach Gundy all over again. However, we are getting kinda worried about the psyche of the state. On the heels of the whole Maurice Clarrett debacle, Ohioans are really taking this news pretty hard; especially Judge Amy Selerno.

I as well as many fans and graduates of Ohio State University are very disappointed to see you today here in my courtroom,” she said.

We don’t blame the honorable judge for her disappointment, but we’re guessing that there’s a few million Big Blue faithful who are loving the fact that their rivals are the ones finally squirming a bit this year.

Links:

[10TV.com]: Ohio State Player Suspended After Arrest

Categories
MLB General

The Full Count: Padres come up big


1. (Re)taking the Lead: The Padres’ tie with the Phillies atop the wild card standings didn’t last very long. As the Phillies lost to the Braves, San Diego beat San Francisco 6-4 with a huge rally in the ninth. Brian Giles hit a game-winning three run homer to cap off a four-run ninth. The 86-71 Padres are theoretically in the division race too, at two games back, but it is the wild card that gives them a better shot at making the playoffs. They will play their last division game of the year Wednesday at San Francisco before heading off to Milwaukee for their last series.

2. The New Contenders: The Atlanta Braves and Colorado Rockies are two late-season additions to the wild card race. They are the two hottest teams in the majors, and both won on Tuesday as well. The Rockies have won nine in a row, while the Braves have won eight of their last nine games, including a key 10-6 win over Philadelphia on Tuesday. The win, powered by Mark Teixeira and Chipper Jones homers, put the Braves at three games back in the wild card. The Rockies are even closer, at just one game back of the Padres. They beat Los Angeles, who is officially out of the race, by a score of 9-7. Troy Tulowitzki hit his 23rd homer of the year and Todd Helton added three hits for Colorado. The Rockies, who have scored the fifth-most runs in the majors, will play the Dodgers once more and then face the Diamondbacks for a season-ending three game set.

3. Power Play: The Brewers are edging closer to the playoffs, just two games back of the Cubs after a 9-1 win over St. Louis. They wouldn’t even be near contention without the contributions of MVP candidate Prince Fielder, who added two homers to his league-leading total. Fielder now has 50 home runs, the youngest player ever to reach that mark. Additionally, he and his father Cecil are the only father-son tandem in big league history to each have 50-home run seasons. Prince is having a truly unbelievable season for a second-year player, almost matching what Ryan Howard did last year. He has almost doubled his rookie homerun total (28) while also improving every other category known to man. He isn’t the leading MVP candidate, but he will pick up plenty of votes, especially because he reached the big 5-0.

Player of the Day: Victor Martinez, Indians: 2-4, HR (25), 3 RBIs in a 4-3 win over Seattle. Why isn’t Martinez one of the MVP candidates? He has been by far the Indians’ best hitter this season, with a .301 average and 110 RBIs, both leading the team.

Categories
MLB General

The Full Count: Phillies move into wild card lead doing nothing


1. It’s a Tie: The Padres seemingly had the wild card wrapped up, but with a four game losing streak they let two other teams back in the race. The Phillies, who were off on Monday, are now tied with San Diego for the wild card lead. The Rockies, who are riding an eight game winning streak, are now a game back. The Padres’ loss came 9-4 at the hands of the Giants. Chris Young continued his baffling collapse with seven runs allowed in five innings. This raised his ERA over 3 for the first time since May. Barry Zito of the Giants, one of the all-time biggest wastes of money, finally won his 10th game of the year. The Padres, 85-71, have two more games against the Giants before they travel to Milwaukee for a four-game showdown to finish the season. The Rockies have the toughest road among the contenders with Los Angeles and Arizona to finish up the season. The Phillies have the Braves and Nationals, all at home. Atlanta, who is three games back, could become competitive in the race themselves if they sweep Philly.

2. Unwanted Losses: Both New York teams lost on Monday. For the Yankees, it put them 2 games back of the Red Sox for the division lead. For the Mets, a loss put them only two games ahead of the Phillies in the division. The Mets fell to the last-place Nationals by an embarrassing 13-4 score. Spot starter Mike Pelfrey got torched for seven runs in the blowout loss at home. The Yankees also lost at home, this one coming to the Blue Jays. The pesky Jays, who swept Boston last week, took 2 of 4 from New York in the series. Rookie Jesse Litsch had 7.2 innings of near-scoreless action to pick up the win over Andy Pettitte. Even though the Yanks face Tampa and Baltimore the last two series, it is unlikely they will win the division. They play all those games on the road, while the Red Sox will stay at Fenway Park for the rest of the season.

3. Too Little, Too Late?: The Brewers certainly had an impressive showing Monday: a 13-4 win over St. Louis to put them three games back of the Cubs, who didn’t play. Ryan Braun (33) and Prince Fielder (48) both homered and had three RBIs. They piled up nine runs, though only four earned, off St. Louis starter Adam Wainwright. The Cardinals, who have been officially eliminated from playoff contention, have gone 4-15 since September 7. At that point they were one game back in the division, now they trail by 10. The Brewers will have to virtually win out and hope the Cubs lose the majority of their remaining games if they want to get in the playoffs. However, that is looking highly unlikely right now.

Player of the Day: Carlos Silva, Twins: 7.2 innings, 6 hits, no runs in a 2-0 win over Detroit.

Categories
NFL General

Don’t worry; you’re not the only person whose fantasy lineup is getting decimated


As if the pathetic performances by most of the NFL’s elite running backs haven’t been disappointing enough for fantasy owners, here we are going into week four and some of the first round, money players are already getting bitten by the injury bug.

The enigmatic artists formerly known as the St. Louis Rams got some distressing news on Monday, but it’s not nearly as painful for them as it is for their star back. Steven Jackson will miss at least one week with a partial tear in his groin that he obtained in Sunday’s loss to the Buccaneers. According to Scott Linehan, Jackson’s status is week to week which is about as bad as it gets for fantasy GMs. We have no experience with torn groins, but we’re guessing that running full speed and cutting on a dime are probably pretty painful. Make room for Jackson at the end of your bench and grab rookie Brian Leonard if you can. This could be the beginning of a long guessing game for Jackson owners.

Then there is Seattle’s best, Shaun Alexander. The Seahawks running back ran for 100 yards on Sunday and then on Monday, Mike Holmgren said that he had a broken left wrist. Good news is that it’s a `play with the pain’ kinda injury and team doctors will just slap a cast on him and send him out on the field. This is defiantly a must monitor situation because we all remember how a fractured foot cost him six games last year.

Throw in other significant happenings in the league like Deuce McAllister‘s injury that will probably keep him out for the remainder of the season, Jake Delhomme‘s strained right elbow, Vernon Davis‘ sprained knee ligament, the Matt Leinart/Kurt Warner merry-go-round, Brian Westbrook‘s abdominal stain, Hines Ward‘s bruised knee, Calvin Johnson‘s bad back, Marc Bulger’s broken ribs
(whew!) and unless you had Kevin Curtis or Ronnie Brown blowing up for your team, you’re probably still bummed out over the fantasy hits you took this week.

Categories
Boxing

Iron Mike wants to hang with Vick and the Juice in the big house

Mike Tyson is facing a maximum of four years and three months in prison after pleading guilty to drug possession and driving under the influence following being stopped outside a nightclub last year. His sentencing is scheduled for November 19. Maybe he can save a seat in the yard for Michael Vick’s December arrival.

I had possession of cocaine, and I drove under the influence,” he told the judge, his voice barely audible.

Tyson pleaded guilty to a single felony count of cocaine possession and a misdemeanor DUI count. A felony charge of possession of drug paraphernalia and a second misdemeanor DUI charge were dropped, according to the terms of a plea agreement.

In case you’ve forgotten, Iron Mike got busted with bags of cocaine inside his car and pockets after spending an evening with the ladies of Scottsdale’s Pussycat Lounge. The cop said he saw Tyson wiping a white substance off his dash and that his lispy speech was slurred.

We still can’t get over the fact of how far and how fast this guy fell from grace. Tyson used to embody what being a bad ass is all about, unfortunately for every devastating knock out he delivered, we got twice as much imbecilic and criminal behavior in return. We can’t wait until we have to explain this nut to our kids one day.

Links:

[USA Today]: Mike Tyson pleads guilty to drug, DUI charges

Categories
MLB General

The Full Count: Two postseason slots officially filled


1. Lock it Up, Part 1: The Indians, who have the best record in baseball by a half-game, became one of the first two teams to clinch their division on Sunday. They beat the A’s 6-2, keeping their 7.5 game lead in the division with only seven games left to play. Grady Sizemore went 4-4 and Jake Westbrook had nine strikeouts as the Indians rolled once again. The Indians are one of three teams in baseball to rank in the top ten in runs scored and ERA–Boston and Atlanta are the others. This is the balance that has led the team to such success this season. Though slugger Travis Hafner has had a down year, Victor Martinez has established himself as perhaps the game’s best-hitting catcher. The rotation, with aces Fausto Carmona and CC Sabathia in addition to the resurgent Westbrook, rivals that of Los Angeles and Boston. Though the other AL playoff teams have received more attention, the Indians will be just as much of a force in the playoffs.

2. Lock it Up, Part 2: On the same day the Indians clinched the AL Central, the Angels locked up the AL West with their 92nd win. Fittingly, ace John Lackey picked up the win. It was the 18th victory of the year for Lackey, as he struck out 7 and allowed 2 runs in 7 innings. He is part of an Angels’ rotation that is just as balanced as the Indians’. With Kelvim Escobar and Jered Weaver joining Lackey, along with a superb bullpen, the Angels have one of the league’s best overall pitching staffs. They have had the lead in their division basically from the start of the season, holding off Seattle despite numerous charges by the pesky Mariners. Their division-clinching win on Sunday was in fact over the Mariners, who have put together a great season but are no match for Los Angeles. The Angels will now be vying for the top overall seed in the American League playoffs, though it doesn’t really matter considering every AL playoff team is a force to be reckoned with.

3. It’s (Almost) Over: Barring a spectacular collapse, the Cubs will be playoff-bound for the first time since 2003. They swept the Pirates over the weekend while the Brewers struggled with the Braves. This gave Chicago a 3.5 game lead, which will likely be impossible to pass for the near-cinderella Brewers. The Cubs are the only team even nearly deserving of a playoff spot from the NL Central. Their `big three’ in the lineup is one of the best in the NL with Aramis Ramirez, Derrek Lee, and Alfonso Soriano. More impressive is their pitching, which has five solid starters. Though many will likely write off the Cubs once they reach the playoffs, they actually have the tools to win the pennant. In a year where no team is even close to dominant in the NL, the Cubs could surprise everyone.

Player of the Day: Mike Mussina, Yankees: 7 innings, 3 runs, 5 strikeouts in a 7-5 win over Toronto. Mussina, who won his 250th career game, is 3-0 since returning to the rotation after temporary demotion. The Yanks are now 1.5 games back of Boston, though it doesn’t really matter who wins the division as both will make the playoffs.

Categories
NBA General

His driver might have slapped that woman’s butt, but Dennis would never do something like that


The Worm is apparently guilty of more than just having horrible taste in automobiles. TMZ is reporting that Dennis Rodman spanked some random girl in a bar, inciting accusations of sexual battery.

TMZ has learned the Orange County Sheriff’s Department is investigating the incident, which allegedly took place at Hennessy’s Tavern in Dana Point, near Laguna Beach. One source says the ex-basketball star allegedly slapped the woman’s rear so hard, it left a “major mark.”

Jim Amormino, a spokesperson for the O.C. Sheriff, told TMZ, “Officers did respond to an incident involving a man and a woman. A police report was taken, and is currently with the sex crime unit of the Sheriff’s department.

While this is not a highlight in his career by any stretch of the imagination, after OJ’s recent incident, we felt just a little let down by Rodman’s butt bongo stunt. We hate to say it, but you’re starting to lose a little steam Dennis. If all you have left in the tank is a hideous car and tawdry actions then we’re gonna just have to move on. We don’t want a cheap imitation of the mad man we once knew. If you’re not going balls to the wall for us, then we can’t waste anymore time with you.

Links:

[TMZ]: Dennis Rodman Accused of Sexual Battery

Categories
Tampa Bay Lightning

Dan Boyle’s skate gets revenge for the months of thick, cheesy foot odor

Dan Boyle of the Tampa Bay Lightning is going to be out of commission for the next four to six weeks after having surgery on Sunday. You might be thinking that his injury was a broken arm or leg, torn ACL, missing eyeball or something else real `manly.’ Well, the injury was gross and painful in nature, but we’re not too sure how `manly’ it is to slice yourself up with your own skate.

Boyle got hurt in a freak locker room accident Saturday night after the Lightning’s 2-1 preseason loss to Washington. The defenseman was distracted while hanging up his skate. The skate slipped off the hook and hit Boyle in his left wrist, severing three tendons.

Frankly, we’re surprised that this kind of stuff doesn’t happen more often. After all, these guys are flying around on slippery ice with razorblades attached to their feet. Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen if you ask us. But you don’t have to take our word for it, Mr. Most Gruesome Sports Injury will inform you all about the inherit dangers associated with hockey.

Links:

[Fox Sports]: Loose skate severs three tendons

Categories
College Football

Mike Gundy does his best Bob Knight impersonation

So, what happens when you’re a sports columnist and you write a piece about a player that really ticks off their coach? Well, if you’re Jenni Carlson of The Oklahoman then you get torn into by a howling, rampaging Mike Gundy.

Hey, Mike, if it’s so wrong of her to “go after” one of your athletes then why are you hoping that someone “bedowngrades” and “belittles” her innocent child? It appears that in your anger you have forgotten what you are truly angry about. Never forget the words of the great Mahatma Gandhi: “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth and the whole world would soon be blind and toothless.”

Links:

[NewsOK.com]: Reid is still the most talented signal-caller, but attitude is reason for change

Categories
Philadelphia Eagles

Hideous uniforms disorient Lions, allowing Kevin Curtis to go bananas


The Eagles uniforms might be the ugliest duds ever donned, but Donovan McNabb and Kevin Curtis sure did like the way they fit.

The duo hooked up for a league record tying 205 yards on nine catches in the first half of Philly’s annihilation of the Lions. With touchdowns of 68, 12 and 43 yards under his belt before halftime, fantasy owners were loving life and already writing up their smack for the upcoming week before the second half kickoff.

And if the NFL mirrors the college game, then Detroit’s defensive coordinator might want to start packing his desk a little early.

After Texas Tech gave up 610 yards of offense to Oklahoma State in a 49-45 loss, Lyle Setencich stepped down from his job as defensive coordinator with the Red Raiders. It might not go down in the books as a firing, but after hearing what `pirate master’ Mike Leach had to say about his club, we have a feeling it wasn’t solely for the “personal reasons” Setencich claims.

After the game, Leach was critical of his players and coaching staff, saying “defensively, in the entire first half, we got hit in the mouth and acted like somebody took our lunch money, and all we wanted to do was have pouty expressions on our face until somebody daubed our little tears and made us feel better.

But to make sure there were no hard feelings, Leach threw in the obligatory line of BS that every fired coach receives:

We appreciate Lyle and the work he did for our program,” Leach said. “We wish him and his family the best.

Geez, thanks coach.

Links:

[KSL.com]: Curtis ties NFL record with 205 yards in first half
[Chron.com]: Texas Tech coordinator resigns as defense struggles