Categories
Golf

Didn’t your mother tell you not to swing that thing indoors?


Marc Warren isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, but he sure did get sliced up when he decided to practice his golf swing inside of his hotel room. Apparently, he was in some real swanky joint that had a glass chandelier in the room. You see where this going, right?

The Scotsman said he tried a practice swing with a 5-iron in his room Thursday night and hit a glass chandelier which smashed into pieces over him.

Warren was taken to a hospital where he received stitches for a deep cut in his abdomen. He also had minor cuts on his arms and head.

“There was plenty of blood and a towel I held to my stomach was covered when I arrived at the hospital,” Warren said. “But the only thing that hurt was the scratch on my head. I feel fine about playing today.

At least the guy is back in action today in the Seve Trophy tournament. He might be a dumb gamer, but he’s still a gamer.

Links:

[Local10.com]: Fore! Golfer Swing Shatters Chandelier

Categories
MLB General

The Full Count: Phillies finally catch the Mets


1. Comeback Completed: Philadelphia has been catching up with New York for the past month. Finally, they are tied for the division lead. The shocked Mets have gone from obvious division favorites to possibly missing the playoffs. New York lost its fourth game in a row on Thursday in an embarrassing 3-0 home shutout to the Cardinals. Pedro Martinez, who has a 2.57 ERA since returning to the rotation, had eight strikeouts in a losing effort. He was outpitched by Joel Pineiro, who shut down the overrated Mets lineup with eight scoreless innings. Meanwhile, the Phillies topped the Braves for the second straight day. They scored six runs off John Smoltz, four in the first inning, as rookie Kyle Kendrick picked up his 10th win. Now the teams are tied at 87-72 for the division lead with three games to go. Both teams have an easy final series at home: the Phillies play the Nationals while the Mets face the Marlins. Whoever loses this division race will be in tough competition with San Diego for the wild card. Right now the Padres are a game ahead of both teams.

2. Hold on Loosely: Though the Padres have made a charge, the Diamondbacks continue to hold the NL West division lead. They won 8-0 against the Pirates on Thursday to keep them a game ahead of San Diego. Micah Owings pitched six scoreless innings while going 4-4 with 3 RBIs. The game’s best-hitting pitcher now has a ridiculous .339 average, which is far above everyone in their everyday lineup. Considering the fact that he’s an average starter, they should consider moving him to the outfield eventually. With the win the D-backs are one game shy of becoming the first (and possibly the only) NL team to reach 90 wins this season. Ironically, on paper they are actually the worst among the NL’s playoff contenders. The bullpen is solid and they have a true ace in Brandon Webb, but beyond that their other starters are mediocre and their lineup verges on dismal. Though they could potentially be the #1 seed in the NL playoffs, they will need luck on their side to advance.

3. Simply Unstoppable: The Rockies won their 11th straight game to stay one game behind San Diego in the wild card race. They beat the Dodgers 10-4 to finish off their second sweep of the Dodgers during the streak. Garrett Atkins went 4-4 with a homer and Brad Hawpe drove in three runs for Colorado. Seven of their 11 consecutive wins have come against the Dodgers, who have fallen to only one game over .500 for the season. The Rockies will face the D-backs at home in what will be a crucial final series for both teams.

Player of the Day: Phil Hughes, Yankees: 7 innings, 4 hits, 1 run, 5 strikeouts in a 3-1 win over the Devil Rays. The Yankees mathematically still have a shot at the division title, with the Red Sox’s magic number still at 2.

Categories
MLB General

The Full Count: Yankees clinch

A-rod looking as douchey as possible

1. Lucky Number 13: The Yankees continued the longest playoff streak in all of baseball by clinching a spot in October for the 13th consecutive year. They did so in style, beating the Devil Rays 12-4 as Cano and Jeter homered and Chien-Ming Wang won his 19th game of the season. Now the American League playoff teams are set, with Cleveland, Los Angeles, Boston, and the Yanks competing for the pennant. Unless there is a bizarre change in the standings in the last few days this season, New York will take on the Indians and the Angels will battle the Red Sox in the opening matchups. The Yankees’ run at the playoffs of course was expected before the season, but by the end of May many thought their season was over. That’s because they were one of the worst teams in the AL exactly four months ago, only a few games ahead of Tampa Bay. Since then, however, they’ve had the best record in the league, and with 15 wins in their last 20 games they will head to the postseason with momentum on their side.

2. Still Undecided: The National League playoff situation remains the exact opposite of the American League. While all four teams have clinched in the AL, no team has clinched a playoff berth in the NL. Many contenders seem to be slipping at the wrong time, particularly the Mets. They’ve had the NL East lead the majority of the season, but after losing 9 of their last 13 games, the Phillies are only one game back. The Phillies virtually eliminated the Braves by beating them 5-2; Atlanta would now need a complete miracle to make the playoffs. The situation in the NL Central remains uncertain, as it has been for about a month. The Cubs’ loss gave the Brewers an opportunity to get within a single game, but Milwaukee lost to the Cardinals and remains two back. The hottest team in the NL right now is the Rockies, who have won a franchise-record 10 consecutive games. They are now one game back of the Padres, and tied with Philadelphia.

3. Bye Bye, Barry: Barry Bonds has been extremely quiet ever since breaking the major league homerun record, as the sale of the 756 ball has received more attention than the man who hit it. Bonds has started to play less and less; in fact, until last night he hadn’t appeared since September 15. Now Barry deserves at least some recognition, as he appeared in his last game in a Giants uniform on Wednesday. Bonds, who will likely play next year as a DH for an American League team, has officially ended his tenure with the Giants. He won 5 MVP awards with the club, and hit over 500 homers with them alone. In his last game with the club, Bonds went 0-3 as the Giants lost 11-3 to the Padres. Jake Peavy picked up his 19th win for San Diego.

Player of the Day: Mike Lowell, Red Sox: 3-5, 5 RBIs in an 11-6 win over the A’s. Lowell, who leads the team in RBIs with 116, also set the club’s single-season RBI record for third basemen.

Categories
Detroit Lions

Roy Williams is a member of The Tiger Woods Frugal Foundation


Besides being good for a few spectacular plays a game, Roy Williams is also known for being rather forthcoming in his opinions. He’s never had a problem with telling like he thinks it is. Of course, he’s had to eat some crow over some of his comments. We’ve heard him talk about how prolific his offense was even when it wasn’t and it appears that he’s even rubbed off on his quarterback who is now guaranteeing ten victories this year.

While we love hearing players talk football, which he did in this radio interview, we really love hearing the behind the scenes stuff. Like how Williams freely admits that he’s a cheap bastard.

On being cheap: I am cheap, I’m a cheap date. Get you some McDonalds, with some cheese on it and I’m just really cheap, man. I’m very low key, I like to stay home. I like to go bowling on Monday nights and I go to the casino every once and awhile. Other than that, you won’t see Mr. Williams out at all.

On what he plays at the casino: I’m a craps and blackjack guy. I like to throw the dice a little bit. If that doesn’t work out, I’ll take it to the cards.

You do tip the pizza guy? There’s no such thing as a tip. But I am really polite and I say `Thank you sir.’ … The pizza man knows, when he comes to my address, he’s coming for free.

If you’re on a date and she wants to go to a nice place, what do you do? I might just take her to the casino and get her a free buffet. If I did take a date out to a nice place, I’d take her to a nice place, like a Red Lobster or something. It wouldn’t be Morton’s or nothing like that.

Hey, the way we see it, Roy just totally up’d our stock on the meat market. If a millionaire says there is no such thing as a tip and Red Lobster is considered “a nice place,” then we’re pretty much the most eligible bachelors in town.

Links:

[Freep.com]: Roy Williams comments on the Bears and why he doesn’t tip the pizza guy

Categories
Soccer

Guaranteed to be the best seven seconds of your day

If you’ve never taken a soccer ball to the face then congratulations because you are one of the lucky ones. The rest of have all felt the sting of having Spalding slapped across out forehead. But everyone has at least seen someone get pounded by a ball. Well, you’ve never seen it quite like this:

Ho-ly crap! That was so sweet.

Links:

[Our Book of Scrap]: Little Girl Eats Soccer Ball

Categories
General Sports

So, if FSU athletes aren’t studying then what are they staring at all day long?


Bad news for Seminoles fans; you’re athletes are cheaters. But then again, so are your `athletic department academic assistance employees’. Yeah, and we’re supposed to believe that athletes across America don’t get preferential treatment.

School officials say two athletic department academic assistance employees have resigned and 23 athletes were implicated in cheating on tests given over the Internet. The athletes represent nine sports and 17 of the students are or have been on scholarship.

Officials could not identify the students and could not say which sports are involved because of federal confidentiality restrictions.

The students could face punishment from the university and NCAA including loss of eligibility. The NCAA also could sanction the university.

We don’t know whether to laugh or cry about this whole situation. It’s always sad to hear about students falling into the pratfalls of academic dishonesty. But, then again, it’s Florida State and we’ve always had a sneaking suspicion about their tactics. After all, this is the school that gave us Deion Sanders. Need we say more.

Links:

[NewsChannel5.com]: Seminoles athletes accused of cheating
[CBS Sports]: Florida State says 23 athletes implicated in Internet cheating

Categories
NFL General

We’re guessing this guy isn’t an Osos de Chicago or Vaqueros de Dallas fan

We thought that we heard something about the NFL celebrating Hispanic Heritage Month during the Cowboys/Bears game, but we just shrugged it off and figured that it was one of the voices that come to life after we’ve polished off our usual Sunday suitcase of brews. What can we say, sometimes we hallucinate in Spanish. We also heard one of `em say something about Nike designing a shoe for Native Americans. That’s when we knew it was time to retire for the evening.

Then we came across a video of this guy going bonkers over what we had figured was just a figment of our imaginations. After watching this moron, we’re starting to feel a lot more normal now.

“What’s next! WHAT’S next! WHAT’S NEXT!!” *silence*

Links:

[Kissing Suzy Kolber]: Yo Cabron, chinga tu madre!

Categories
Phoenix Suns

The Matrix Relocated?


Hearing trade demands coming from Andrei Kirilenko is understandable. After all, who actually wants to spend their whole career in Salt Lake City? Apparently not even Russians. But hearing the news of trade demands coming from Phoenix is something totally different. Especially when those demands are coming from Shawn Marion, the face of the franchise for the past eight years.

Despite the championship caliber club surrounding him, the Matrix is sick and tired of hearing his name coming up in trade talks and his not too happy about his contract either.

I’m tired of hearing my name in trades,” Marion said by phone from his Chicago home Tuesday night. “I love my fans in Phoenix but I think it’s time for me to move on.”

Marion, the highest paid Suns player, has two years remaining on his maximum-level contract – $16.4 million for this year and a $17.8 million salary if he did not opt out before the 2008-09 season. He said the Suns’ unwillingness to extend his deal is “only a part of why” he wants to leave but would not confirm that he has asked for a three-year, $60 million extension, saying, “The numbers aren’t important.”

Suns General Manager Steve Kerr declined comment.

And at this point, it doesn’t really look like there much for Kerr to say. According to Marion, he’s already packed his bags and is ready to go anywhere he has to. Even, dare we say it, Utah?!?

There are two known trade suitors in the Utah Jazz (for Andrei Kirilenko, if not others) and the Los Angeles Lakers (for Lamar Odom and a teammate), with Marion showing an interest in the latter because of a friendship with Kobe Bryant.

“Regardless of everything that went on with the extension, I’m tired of hearing my name in trade rumors,” Marion said. “It’s time for me to move on. I felt like they tried to force my hand to Boston with the (Kevin) Garnett stuff.”

In June, there was the possibility of a three-way trade sending Garnett to Phoenix, a Boston pick package going to Minnesota and Marion to Boston with a contract extension but the Marion camp killed it.

“I haven’t done anything wrong,” said Marion, a four-time All-Star. “I leave it on the floor night in and night out. Sometimes, it’s just time, and it’s time to go. “It’s been like a nightmare. It hurts me making this phone call. It’s hurting me in my stomach.”

Marion said he has no problem with any of his teammates but did not want to comment on the Suns staffers, saying, “It’s just a bad marriage. I’m not talking about anyone. It’s just time for me to go.

We know that Marion is standing up for his principles and all, but he’s going to be kicking himself if he ends up with the Clippers or Bobcats. Heck, even the disgruntled Kirilenko would rather go to Europe than play in those wastelands.

Links:

[AZCentral.com]: Marion: `Time for me to move on’

Categories
Portland Trailblazers

Hey, Mike Vick; you could learn a thing or two from Greg Oden


So, what do you do when you’re young and famous with millions of dollars in the bank and a year off of work? Well, if you’re Greg Oden you don’t do much of anything. Granted, the guy is recovering from some hefty surgery, but c’mon! Someone call over a bunch of strippers and Three 6 Mafia for this guy and let’s get this party rockin’ NBA style! Oh, wait, his landlord might not approve.

But we really do love Oden around here and are hoping for a speedy recovery. In the meantime, if Charles Barkley McLovin keeps him from becoming Ron Artest McRodman than we’re all for it.

His name is Charles Barkley McLovin and he is my new dog. He is a Boston/Beagle. He is not too big because i cant have a big dog while im renting my house. He is very quiet, hasnt even barked since i had him so far. He does of course pee in the house, making me mad. I know it takes time to train a dog, but don’t you wish that a dog can just be born knowing to go to the restroom outside and to eat his food out of the dish?

This dog is stressing me out some because he sniffs everything and he loves eating grass, but he won’t eat his dog food. The second day i had him Brandon and I left him in the backyard for like 30 minutes and when we got back he had crawled under the gate and run away. Luckily, i have great neighbors. It was funny because when i was down the street i told one of my neighbors and she said she hadn’t seen him, but by the time i got to my house and got out the car i saw another lady walk out the door saying “about 30 to 45 minutes ago and he has a red collar.” i looked at Brandon and said “she talking about me” lol. They all were looking for him, even their kids were on bikes. He turned up two houses down and i was so happy. Now i watch him every time he goes outside. I love him already. All he does is cuddle and sleep and he is quiet. I just wish he would stop eating grass.

Keep us updated big fella.

Links:

[Yardbarker]: My New Family Member

Categories
All Other Sports

Extreme bicyclists might be weird in person, but they’re pretty cool in the air

Most people try to avoid riding their bicycles off the side of a cliff. You did catch that we said “most”, right? Here are the exceptions to the rule:

This video is kinda like Rocky; once you’ve seen it, you think you’re ready to take on the world, but you’re really only ready to get your face smashed in if you try.