Categories
Golden State Warriors

Stephen Jackson picks right back up where he left off, making a fool of himself


We know that pro athletes are notorious for using their bodies as canvases. So, it’s really not all that surprising to hear that Stephen Jackson of the Golden State Warriors got a new tattoo over the summer. However, it is pretty shocking to hear what Jackson decided to get.

Stephen Jackson reported to the Golden State Warriors’ training camp Monday with a new tattoo covering much of his chest. With a church window as the background, two praying hands are inked on his sternum — and they’re holding a gun.

Yes, this is the same Stephen Jackson who will miss the Warriors’ first seven games under NBA suspension for pleading guilty to a felony charge of criminal recklessness after firing an awfully similar gun into the air at an Indianapolis strip club.

“I pray I never have to use it again,” Jackson said in explanation.

Jackson’s incredible audacity under the tattoo needle is stunning even to his teammates, who seem to be in a frantic competition to cover their entire bodies in ink.

“I can’t believe that one,” said Al Harrington, who redecorated his arms and back. “I thought I was crazy.”

But Jackson’s fearlessness is exactly why the Warriors love him — and basketball’s favorite playoff underdogs need a big season from the swingman now that Jason Richardson has departed along with the Warriors’ element of surprise.

“We’re going to have a full season together, and all the nonsense is behind me,” said Jackson, perhaps also referring to his unfinished full back tattoo of the jack of diamonds — with himself as the jack. “All my probation stuff is behind me. I don’t have to worry about flying back and forth to court this year, so it’s all positive. I’m ready to roll.

Wow, praying hands with a gun for a guy guilty on gun charges. We’re with Al on this one; you’re looney man. At least the ink on his back is pretty accurate. Jackson is definitely a jack-something; we just didn’t have jack of diamonds in mind.

Links:

[The Canadian Press]: With suspension looming, Golden State’s Stephen Jackson is back

Categories
General Sports

Video of Tony Parker shooting and scoring with Eva Longoria hits the web


Tony Parker and Eva Longoria aren’t even six months removed from their holy union, but that doesn’t mean that the consummation cam isn’t watching.

Rumors are flying that the Spurs point guard and the Desperate Housewives bombshell are starring in a movie together; unfortunately it’s not the kind that you hold a premier for in Hollywood. Yup, supposedly the duo were captured in the act and the video has made its way to the web.

Listen, The Sun, we’re trusting you on this one. You’d better not be messing with us.

Rumors have been rife on the web that the saucy video exists and contains intimate scenes featuring the Desperate Housewives beauty and her NBA star hubby Tony Parker.

If the tape is genuine, it is tipped to become the biggest sex tape unearthed since Paris Hilton’s One Night In Paris.

Latest reports from the States suggest the video HAS made its way online, but only on paid for sites.

As exciting as this news is for the male population of the planet, we really have no idea why celebrities feel the need to tape themselves. After all, if you tape it, it will be leaked. We can understand why some tramp like Hilton or Kim Kardashian would do it, they want the exposure. But we’re talking about Eva friggin’ Longoria here; she doesn’t need this. Anyways, she should have learned her lesson from Tony about how shooting a video can turn you into a laughingstock.

Links:

[The Sun Online]: `Eva Longoria’ sex tape on web
[The Superficial]: Eva Longoria has a sex tape

Categories
All Other Sports

Peewee football parents are making K-Fed and Britney look like the Cleavers


Just when we thought you couldn’t get any dumber, you go and do something like this… and totally demean yourself!

Parents never cease to amaze us with their complete stupidity when it comes to their kids and sports. We all know about the `overbearing baseball dad’ and the `crazy soccer mom’ and now we know about `umbrella-wielding football parents.’

Two people were arrested and another man was hospitalized after a fight that involved at least 15 people at a youth football game Saturday.

The fight occurred when a parent of a child on the losing team struck a parent from the winning team with an umbrella, Lacey police officer Roland Sapinoso said.

The fight broke out at about 3:30 p.m. in a practice field next to South Sound Stadium after a game between two Black Hills Youth Football teams made up of second- through fourth-graders.

The president of the Oregon football league, Chuck Farrar, had some incredible insight when he told reporters that the people who started the brawl were parents “who took a game of second- through fourth-graders way too seriously.”

That Chuck, he’s got some great observation skills. He must have learned from this video how to pick up on subtleties like that.

Links:

[TheOlympian.com]: 2 arrested in fight at youth ball game
[KIROTV.com]: Brawling Parents Banned From Future Football Games

Categories
College Football

If you thought that Bobby Knight was a sore loser…

There were a ton of upsets in the world of college football this weekend, but we’re guessing by this clip that nobody had a worse Saturday (or Friday in the case of Mountaineers fans) than the Florida die-hard. Wait, let me rephrase that: nobody had a worse Saturday than this Florida die-hard.

One word of advice before you hit the play button: Earmuffs.

Links:

[Our Book of Scrap]: So Gators Fans, How Do You REALLY Feel?

Categories
General Sports

LeBron James got showed up on SNL

If you’re anything like us then you probably don’t watch Saturday Night Live anymore. However, we will tune in when sports figures are bestowed the hosting duties for the week. So, when we heard that LeBron James was going to host the season premier of SNL, we made sure to set up our DVR. Unfortunately, Kanye West stole the show.

After the show, Kanye proceeded to call out LBJ for winning the Eastern Conference Championship, claiming that it was his album that went crazy against the Pistons in Game 5.

Categories
Boxing

Evander Holyfield wants to KO the Forman Grill empire


For all the older readers out there, you probably never thought you’d live to see the day when George Foreman was selling a miniature grill on television. Well, believe it or not, but George has been pushing that thing for almost 13 years now! So, it’s about time he got some competition in the countertop grilling market.

Evander Holyfield thinks he’s going to be the guy to knock Forman out of the market altogether with his “Evander Holyfield Real Deal Grill.” Sounds good and all, but, Evander, how is your grill different and better than the “Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling Machine” that’s been sitting in my kitchen since Christmas of ’99?

I’ve got a George Foreman grill. It’s a good grill,” Holyfield, 44, told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. “But don’t you think the latest grill is supposed to be the best grill?

Umm, you might want to work on your promotion campaign a little bit more if you want to get anywhere close to the $100 million worth of grills Foreman’s sold over the years.

Oh, wait, it sounds like someone has already gotten their hands on the former champ and his product.

Manufacturer CirTran Corp., based in Utah, approached Holyfield about promoting the $99 grill after he appeared on the TV show “Dancing With the Stars” in 2005. Holyfield dons an apron in a 30-minute commercial that began airing last week describing his product’s culinary and health benefits.

Now, we haven’t seen the ad yet, but we heard that Mike Tyson makes an appearance and raves about they way he perfectly grilled a human ear with Evander’s machine.

Links:

[MiamiHerald.com]: Holyfield takes on Foreman Grill

Categories
MLB General

The Full Count: Phillies complete greatest comeback in regular season history


Comeback Kings: The Philadelphia Phillies just completed one of the greatest divisional comebacks in baseball history, and they couldn’t be more deserving playoff participants. They made up 7 games on the Mets in a mere 17 games, the largest such comeback of all time. They won the NL East for one reason: they were great at coming back. 48 of their 89 victories this season were come-from-behind. The Mets, meanwhile, were a complete failure down the stretch this season. They lost 12 of their last 17 games, including 6 losses in their last 7 games, all at home. The Marlins pounded them 8-1 in their final game of the season, as Tom Glavine was knocked out after recording only one out. There was never any doubt in the Phillies’ game, a 6-1 victory over the Nationals. Two of their players added personal achievements in the victory, adding to the team achievement of its first playoff appearance since 1993. Jimmy Rollins hit his 20th triple, giving him at least 20 doubles, triples, homers, and steals on the year. He is the fourth player ever to do this, and the second this season along with Curtis Granderson of the Tigers. Also, Ryan Howard added three RBIs, giving him the NL lead for the second straight season. He finished with 136 ribbies along with 47 homers, including seven homers the last ten games of the season as the Phillies made their big run. These achievements do go along with the dubious mark of the all-time strikeout record (199). The Phillies will face the winner of the wild card in the first round of the playoffs.

Playoff before the Playoffs: The 2007 regular season isn’t over yet. There is one game left to be played that will decide the NL Wild Card champion. The Rockies and Padres ended the season exactly tied, forcing the first tiebreaker game in seven years. The Padres should not be in this position, as they led the Rockies by a mile the majority of the season. But Colorado, who was in fourth place two weeks ago, has had an incredible late-season rally with 13 wins in their last 14 games. Their pitching staff, which almost traditionally has been a joke, has been tearing it up during the streak to compliment their powerfully consistent offense. The Padres haven’t been that bad in September (15-13), but they couldn’t win either of their last two games at Milwaukee, which would have sent them to the postseason automatically. The pitching matchup for this game is a mismatch: Jake Peavy vs. Josh Fogg. Peavy, the guaranteed Cy Young winner, was the only pitcher in the majors to have below a 3.00 ERA this season, and he beat that mark by a mile (2.36). Fogg had a great September (3-0, 3.25 ERA), but is average at best. The Rockies do have the advantage of playing at home though, so this game will be interesting.

Players of the Day: Magglio Ordonez, Tigers: 3-4, 2 RBIs, won AL batting title with .363 average, finished second in majors with 139 RBIs.

Carlos Pena, Devil Rays: HR (46). In Pena’s remarkable yet underappreciated season, he finished second in the AL in homers, fourth in RBIs (121), and second in slugging (.627).

Categories
General Sports

Local TV station screws up the Kevin Everett story. Big time.

Listen, we know that people make mistakes. We’re no different, we’ve had our share of blunders, but this just isn’t right.

“That is not the right video.” Geez, you think. Was it the courtroom that gave it away?

And in case you were wondering, the Kevin Everett imposter is an interesting fellow to say the least.

Links:

[Awful Announcing]: Kevin Everett Can Move His Legs And Is Kicking Cops

Categories
Cincinnati Bengals

The Bengals are not big bird lovers


With a 1-2 record, the Cincinnati Bengals fans a putting up with a lot of crap. But the poop that’s been being produced on the field each week is the least of fans’ worries.

Eric Brown is the managing director at Paul Brown Stadium and he’s asking the city for permission to kill crap-dispensing pigeons with an air rifle! PETA should love this.

Apparently, the stadium is having a problem with the birds taking dumps anywhere and everywhere in the stadium: on people’s heads, in their food, in their $85 beers. They’re remorseless. Heck, these birds will probably even let one rip on the great Carson Palmer if they get a chance.

Brown is saying that he wouldn’t be hunting pigeons on game days. What, no `bring your pellet gun to the game’ day?

The Bengals used to be able to scare the birds away with noise, but the little critters are immune to the sounds now. Now officials are turning to other ideas, besides slaughtering `em all, and thinking about using strobe lights, noise makers, fake owls and netting to solve the problem. We’re guessing that any of those are going to go over better than just going on a shooting spree.

But, we say just embrace the birds. Maybe Ocho-Cinco can work them into one of touchdown celebrations. We suggest that he goes for an Ace Ventura tribute theme.

Links:

[SI.com]: Stadium wants to shoot pigeons

Categories
All Other Sports

Is anybody drug testing these mascots? Sure seems like roid rage to us

By now you’ve probably seen the fight between Donald and Shasta. Well, you can consider that to be the undercard, because we had another incident of mascot misbehavior.

Coastal Carolina and James Madison hooked up on the football field last week and then Duke Dog and Chauncey the Chanticleer hooked it up on the sidelines.

Said Coastal freshman Andrew Moore: “He was belligerent. He was trying to get our mascot.”

As the Duke Dog resisted, police dragged him off the field and into a stadium tunnel.

“They ripped off his head,” JMU junior Brad Tephabock said. “They slammed him against the wall.

Ripped his head off? Who do these cops think they are? Michael Vick.

Apparently, people in the stands started yelling “Don’t tase me, bro” as security pulled the two apart. Classic.

Links:

[Washington Post]: Duke Dog Decked in Mascot Furfight