Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Odds and Ends: Chris Simms is a cry baby

Chris Simms is mad as hell and he’s not going to take it anymore. The former Texas quarterback ripped Jon Gruden and virtually ended his relationship with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers on Monday when he claimed to have become a “hostage” of the franchise.

“I feel like I’m being held hostage,” Simms said. “I hate that all this has happened. I love Tampa. My family loves it here. But I’ve been quiet long enough. I feel like it’s time to let everybody know why I’m not out there.”…

“I don’t know how anybody can expect me to go back there and look coach Gruden in the eye and believe the relationship is hunky dory after some of the things that were said and done,” Simms said. “Things were handled wrongly from the business end of it and definitely things were handled wrongly as far as how you treat a person. …

“How can I look (Gruden) in the eye when I know he wanted me cut last year. He did not want me to be part of the team and I have a lot of resentment about that. Nine or 10 months after a serious injury, I put my life on the line, it was the most serious injury they’ve ever been associated with, I worked as hard as I could to get back and he wasn’t even going to give me a full year.

“I have a serious issue with that, I really do.” …

“He asked me, ‘Is this injury in your head?'” Simms said. “I found that completely ridiculous. I was going through a tough time. I kept my mouth shut all summer. I felt I was betrayed to a degree. Nobody took time to talk to me on a personal level and see how I was doing.”

Geez, what a loser. Even daytime soap operas think Simms is being overly dramatic.

In other news…

[]: Another day, another bobblehead

[Your Face is a Sports Blog]: Big Brown and Tim Donaghy have a lot in common

[The Big Lead]: Apparently, Chicago’s fans aren’t the only ones who hate Cedric Benson

[]: Jason Caffey is a dead-beat dad times 10

[]: Vinny Del Negro could be the new head baby Bull

[The Sports Muffin]: Vince McMahon gets tossed into UFC announcement rumors

[]: Jason Peter is a maniac!

[Busted Coverage]: Detroit reporter says Pittsburgh has better hockey fans

[]: WTF?!?

And finally, goodbye testicles. – Watch more free videos

Chicago Bears

Cedric Benson’s career capsizes on an Austin lake

The moment tears began rolling down his face after being selected fourth overall in the 2005 NFL Draft, the Bears faithful began getting a sinking sensation in their guts. After Sunday, Chicagoans probably think even the name “Adam `Pacman’ Jones” would have sounded better coming off the commissioner’s lips.

Benson was arrested on Saturday night on an Austin lake after he failed a sobriety test while driving a boat, then failed another sobriety test on solid ground, refused to put on a life jacket and then resisted arrest to the point where officers were forced to pepper-spray him while practically dragging him to the patrol car. If Benson was just half as motivated in uniform then he might have more than 1,593 yards and 10 touchdowns in three friggin’ years!

Of course, Cedric’s story is completely different despite the fact that about 15 other people were on the boat and none were arrested. Oh, and none of those friends have stepped forward to support Benson’s claims of police brutality. But it’s still worth a shot.

“I was not intoxicated. There was alcohol on the boat, and others were enjoying themselves, but I wasn’t drunk,” he said. …

The officer arrested Benson, who kept arguing and “continued to present himself as a threat,” the LCRA said. The officer then pepper-sprayed him.

Benson tells a much different story: “Even after they pepper-sprayed me, I have no idea why they did that. I was cooperative. I asked them several times why they did that, and they didn’t give me an answer.”

Once the boat docked, Benson refused to leave the LCRA boat, authorities said. An LCRA officer and Travis County sheriff’s deputies were “basically carrying/dragging him” to a car for transport to jail, the release said.

Again Benson gave a different account: “They kicked my feet out from under me and slammed my face down. They had a hose and were running it over my face. They were choking me and stuff, not with their hands but with the hose in my face. I couldn’t breathe. I don’t know if they did that because of the pepper spray, but I didn’t ask them to put the hose in my face.”

Benson said he declined a breath test once in custody on the advice of his lawyer, Brian Carney.

The former Longhorn has probably seen his last action in Chicago and he could spend up to six months in jail as a result of this little run-in with the law. A word of advice for the Kansas City Chiefs: Watch out for Jamaal Charles because in case you haven’t noticed, Texas running backs are a strange breed.


[]: Troubled waters
[]: Cedric Benson Arrested, Alleges Police Abuse

All Other Sports

Odds and Ends: Formula 1 just got a little too freaky for our taste

Americans have a hard enough time getting into NASCAR, so when it comes to F1, most are pretty lost. Of course, now that there is a little sex scandal sprinkled into the vroom, vroom then it just might catch on.

FIA president Max Mosley is under intense pressure to resign his position with the Formula 1 governing body after the British tabloid News of the World divulged an illicit video showing Mosley with a group of prostitutes dressed as Nazi prison guards.

Several media outlets report that the video is said to show Mosley at a high-end brothel in Chelsea, taking part in several hours of role-playing and sado-masochistic behavior. The part of the tape that raises the most concern is Mosley reportedly speaking German with the prostitutes, who were dressed as Nazis.

Wow! Even Eliot Spitzer thinks this is over the top.

In other news…

[Awful Announcing]: Are you ready for some football!?!

[Can’t Stop The Bleeding]: Noel Gallagher Didn’t Write This Song About Stephen Curry…

[]: King James goes King Kong.

[The Professional Cheerleader Blog]: Brackets o’ babes!

[]: The Oddibe Awards

[]: Q&A with the Big O.

[Know Your Dallas Cowboys]: Quick! Give us a boy in blue that wore No. 14.

[]: Money isn’t everything to Gilbert Arenas.

[]: Happy birthday “Bull Durham!’ Happy birthday to you!

NFL General

We’re guessing this guy isn’t an Osos de Chicago or Vaqueros de Dallas fan

We thought that we heard something about the NFL celebrating Hispanic Heritage Month during the Cowboys/Bears game, but we just shrugged it off and figured that it was one of the voices that come to life after we’ve polished off our usual Sunday suitcase of brews. What can we say, sometimes we hallucinate in Spanish. We also heard one of `em say something about Nike designing a shoe for Native Americans. That’s when we knew it was time to retire for the evening.

Then we came across a video of this guy going bonkers over what we had figured was just a figment of our imaginations. After watching this moron, we’re starting to feel a lot more normal now.

“What’s next! WHAT’S next! WHAT’S NEXT!!” *silence*


[Kissing Suzy Kolber]: Yo Cabron, chinga tu madre!

Chicago Bears

Tank Johnson not legally drunk but still legally an idiot

It turns out that Tank Johnson’s blood alcohol level was only .072 last week which is below Arizona’s legal limit of .08. So Tank won’t be going to jail for DUI but he still was released by the Bears who were embarrassed by his legal troubles.

Now, before anyone (NFLPA) gets their panties in a bunch over the Bears cutting Johnson for something that’s not technically illegal, remember that this guy was about a month removed from jail and decided to drink and drive. If he’d gotten in the car 30 minutes earlier or if he hadn’t eaten 162 beef sticks, 40 honey buns, and 35 summer sausage blocks while in prison, he’d probably have pushed past the .08 level and be back in jail.

The Bears did the right thing by cutting him. Who knows when he’ll decide to pick up a few illegal firearms and cause further embarrassment to his team. He can now go and be the Raiders’ or the Cardinals’ problem.

[Yahoo]: Tank Johnson under legal limit in DUI arrest

Chicago Bears

If it wasn’t for family, Tank Johnson wouldn’t have anyone

Family is suppose to be there for you through thick and thin, even if your name in Tank Johnson. And as unbelievable as it sounds, somebody out there has a soft spot in their hearts for the former Bear. Lucky for Tank, he’s got at least two people who are still on his side; his grandparents.

It hurts,” Johnson’s grandfather, Harvey Johnson, said. “When I read the paper about Tank Johnson, it really hurts

We’re hoping that he would get himself together, and if not… he’s got my prayers every day of the week,” Johnson’s grandmother, Alice Johnson said.

“I’d just like to see him go through this life with a better report than what he’s got,” she said.

And if jail and losing his job aren’t enough to convince Tank that he’s on a road to nowhere, then maybe a pep talk from gramps will do the trick.

I’d like to sit and talk with him,” Harvey Johnson said. “Give me a call. Let me talk to him.

Good luck with that. Unfortunately, we have a feeling that you’ll be talking to a brick wall.


[]: Tank Johnson’s Grandparents On His Career

Chicago Bears

Damn, Tommie! Not you too.

What is it with sports and big mouths? Chicago Bears D-lineman Tommie Harris has joined Kobe Bryant, Clinton Portis and Billy Donovan on the recent list of guys who are quick to retreat from their actions.

Harris was in Philadelphia last week to attend Donovan McNabb’s charity golf tournament when someone stuck a microphone in front of him and effortless got Harris to start blabbering about how desperately he wants McNabb to QB in Chicago; all the while, seemingly forgetting that Rex Grossman is currently serving that role after offensively navigating the Bears to the Super Bowl.

According to the Chicago Tribune, Harris said: “I’d love to have [McNabb] as my quarterback in Chicago . . . Hopefully, he comes here and helps the Chicago Bears win the Super Bowl . . . If he comes to Chicago, we’ll definitely win the Super Bowl . . . He’s my friend and I would like him to play on my team . . . I’d love him to play for the Bears.”

Harris then continued, ending with this: “Hopefully we get Donovan.

But, of course, Tommie was just kidding around and blames the whole thing on Donovan for egging him on.

I will be careful the next time I joke around,” Harris told reporters. “Donovan was behind the camera laughing. We were joking around and it escalated to more than what it was. I apologized to the rest of my team. I was very embarrassed with how much it blew up with the media. My team forgave me, so that’s all that matters.

Okay, we’re not buying the whole “joke” copout on this one, Tommie. But apparently Grossman is because he seemed to think it was all “not that big of a deal.” Still, we’re really getting sick of the backtracking that is going on in sports today and the lame excuses that these athletes think the public is gullible enough to believe. Give us a freaking break for once; either shut the hell up altogether until you have clearly thought about the possible ramifications of your comments or stick to your statements, if that is how you honestly feel. Quit wasting our time with B.S.; all it does is make you look completely foolish.


[]: Love for McNabb from Bears lineman, who quickly backpedals

Chicago Bears

Tank Johnson gets benched for half a season

After serving a 60-day jail sentence, Tank Johnson was released back into the outside world just a little fatter than when he went in. But NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell made sure that Johnson would lose some serious weight, and he focused primarily on the back, right pocket region of his ass.

Tank is about to be spending a lot more time with nothing much to do because the new sheriff in town doesn’t play no crazy games and he slapped Johnson with an eight-game suspension that’ll wind up costing him $225,000 in salary. However, Goodell left a small glimmer of hope for Johnson to strive for as he stated that the suspension could be reduced to six games if Tank could avoid getting in trouble with the law and begins attending counseling. And like the other perennial bad boys to step in front of the principal, Johnson took his lickings and responded with a “Yes, sir; may I have another, sir!” type of attitude.

Roger Goodell’s a fair man, I know that, and he took everything into consideration that he and I talked about. He came up with what he came up with. If it’s in the best interest of the N.F.L., then I’m all for it. He’s given me the opportunity to reduce it to six games, which I am very appreciative. I am looking at it like a six-game suspension, because I definitely am very confident that I’m capable of doing everything he’s asked me to do, and more.

In other words, in today’s NFL you do not want to cross the boss. And as fans, we’re loving every minute of this league being scared straight. The best part of all this is that Goodell is only warming up; just wait until we really get to see him unleash a serious hurtin’ bomb on Michael Vick and his alleged dog fighting turned dog slaughtering ways. We’re still petitioning that his punishment must somehow consist of a ferret and his crotch.


[]: Bears’ Johnson Is Third Player Suspended by the N.F.L.
[]: Bears DT Tank Johnson suspended for eight games

Chicago Bears

Tank Johnson isn’t a fruit and vegetables kind of guy

If you didn’t know, football players are some big freakin’ guys! And the linemen are even bigger! So, you can imagine how difficult it must be to keep a 6-foot-3, 300 pound monster of a man satisfied in the kitchen. Now just try to keep that same big boy from getting hungry while he’s locked up in jail and receiving slop and bologna sandwiches a couple times a day. We would guess that it’s damn near impossible but we don’t have to guess because Tank Johnson’s 60 day stint in the pokey has produced a calorie by calorie break down of exactly what kind of junk food it takes to satisfy a hungry giant.

While in jail, Johnson received three meals a day but also spent $665 on other goodies to get him through his cravings. Here are some of the highlights:

162 Beef Sticks

40 Honey Buns

35 Summer Sausage Blocks

35 Bags of Chips

9 Jalapeno Cheese Spreads

6 Cans of Refried Beans

Now if that’s not the diet of a pro athlete then nothing is! But, we were kind of shocked to hear all of this considering that our diets consist primarily of beef sticks and sausage. Wait, that came out all wrong. Anyways, after reading this we’re guessing that Johnson headed straight for the right field seats at Dodger Stadium as soon as he was released.


[]: Stay in jail not healthy for Tank

General Sports

Odds and Ends: Maybe OJ was just looking for the real killer?

Jeff Ruby, the owner of an upscale steakhouse in Louisville, KY told OJ Simpson that he was not going to serve him and that he should leave. According to Ruby, Simpson said he understood and gathered up his dinner party and left.

However, the story doesn’t stop there. Simpson’s attorney said the incident was about race and he wanted to pursue the matter and get the restuarant’s liquor license revoked. Wait a second here. We’re pretty sure that this isn’t like the Barry Bonds poll, everybody thinks Simpson did it. Ruby said he’s gotten about a hundred positive emails regarding the incident.

In other news…

[KDSK]: Chicago Bears are the Super Bowl Champs in Africa

[]: Apparently, some people aren’t happy about NHL commissioner Gary Bettman’s performance

[Indy Star]: Shocker: Greg Oden selects Mike Conley Sr as his agent

[Denver ost]: Freddy Adu, the Next in soccer is making more headlines in golf

[The Big Lead]: Gia Allemand hits Maxim

[WBRS Sports]: Isn’t denying him sex for the playoffs an incentive for Tony Parker to throw games?

And finally, we weren’t sure whether to jump on this blogger celebrity but… what the hell, she’s 18. Picture of high school pole vaulter hottie after the jump.